by Aleo, Toni
Her.
“Fine. But I better have a spot for my shit at your new place.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll knock out a drawer so we can connect both drawers together,” she teases, and I grin.
“Tease me all you want. You know you like the idea of me being there.”
She pauses, her eyes moving along my face. “I absolutely love the idea.”
Looking into her eyes, I see the world in a whole new light. I may sound like a sappy slow song, but I am digging this chick for real. Like, really for real. I can’t stop thinking of her, of us, and I want so desperately to fall into her, lips first. Before I can say so, though, someone joins our little circle.
“Hey, Mom is looking for you,” Shelli says, and I move over a bit so I’m not so close to Posey. “You okay?”
Posey looks at her sister as if she weren’t just talking about loving the idea of waking up with me. “Yeah, I needed to cool off.” She takes her cup of water, downing it quickly.
Shelli looks at me and then back to Posey before moving in, wrapping her hand around her sister’s waist. “Are you sure?” she asks.
I try not to watch, ordering a beer.
Posey waves her off. “I’m fine. Just feeling a little ick.”
“Go back upstairs. Get some rest.”
“I will. Come on,” she says, wrapping her arm around Shelli. She looks over her shoulder at me. “We’re gonna head back to the table. We’ll talk more about that formation tomorrow, okay? I’m not worried. You’ve got this.”
I nod. “Thanks, Coach.”
Shelli looks back at me, and I swear she sees right through us.
As they walk away, I lean on the counter, tapping my foot to the pipe at the bottom of the bar. I absolutely hate this. I hate not being able to be with her. I almost want to go up to Mrs. Adler and tell her we’re together, but the unknown terrifies me. I don’t know what will happen. Will Posey’s parents be okay with us being together?
I go back and forth with how I think they would take it. A part of me wants to believe they wouldn’t care since, according to Posey, they only care about Shelli. But I’ve been on the road with her mom for ten days, and yes, Mrs. Adler is totally engrossed in Shelli, but she also mothers the living fuck out of Posey. Posey is a grown woman, but Mrs. Adler acts as if she is two. It’s cute, sweet even, which makes me wonder if she won’t think I’m good enough for Posey.
I grew up in a trailer with no father. The only reason I played hockey as a kid was thanks to the charity of a coach, and I didn’t finish college. My ex left me because I was emotionally unavailable. I feel like I’m doing better, and I am truly trying, but will they think I’m enough? I want to believe I am.
When my phone vibrates in my pants, I pull it out to see that I have a message from Posey.
Posey: I’m heading back to my room. 986. Meet me there?
Me: How? Won’t everyone be there?
Posey: No. They’re going out to a cigar club with the Wings’ coaching staff. My mom is going to play nice with the wives in case she wants to make a favorable trade, and Shelli is going out with the guys. Don’t stand me up, Hoenes.
Wouldn’t dare, I type as I pull out a twenty and throw it on the bar. I head out as I text Wes.
Me: Do me a solid. Make an excuse for me on why I’m not going out.
It doesn’t take long for a response.
Wes: Already got you covered. I figured when you didn’t come back, you were going up with her. I am meeting someone in our room. I expect to be reimbursed.
I make a face.
Me: You’re paying for sex?
Wes: No, you are. Or I can tell everyone where you are.
Me: I’ll ApplePay you.
Wes: Good man. $550 is enough. Enjoy your night.
Me: Damn. $550?
Wes: Okay, it’s two girls. Or three. Not sure.
I laugh as I send the money and then tuck my phone into my pocket. Man, Wes is living his best life. I rush through the lobby and then to the elevator, hitting the button for the ninth floor. When the doors open on nine, I head out and down the hall to Posey’s room. I’m almost out of breath when I reach her door. I rap my knuckles on her door, and when it opens, the biggest grin is covering Posey’s face.
And while Wes may be living his best life, I think mine might be better.
I take her in my arms, walking her backward before kicking the door shut as our lips meet. I draw the kisses out of her as my body vibrates with need. Fuck, she feels incredible in my arms. I squeeze her ass in my hands as I back her into the bed, laying her down and covering her body with mine. I tear my mouth from hers, kissing down her neck, sucking and nipping as she runs her fingers through my hair. I forgot how much I love the feel of her skin against my lips.
“So, Shelli told me something interesting,” she almost moans.
I lick her neck and then lift myself up so I can look at her. Her hair is fanned out on her pillow, a grin on her sweet lips, but her eyes are kinda dull. She’s still beautiful as all hell, but something is off. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she says, moving her hands up into my jacket. “Apparently she thinks Boon Hoenes has a crush on me. He won’t stop staring at me.”
“What? No way.”
She beams. “Apparently she thinks he looks at me like I’m his next snack.”
“I didn’t confirm or deny that to her.”
She curves her lips. “What about to me?”
“For you,” I say, dropping my mouth to hers, “I will confirm I very much have a crush on you, and you are the only snack I want.”
She smiles just as my mouth reaches hers. She arches up into the kiss, wrapping her arms around me, fulfilling every single need I have had these last ten days. When she suddenly tears her head back, I widen my eyes when she starts to cough. I sit up more so she has room, but her coughing stops just as quickly as it started. She waves me off. “I swallowed wrong.”
That doesn’t make sense. “Posey, are you sure you’re okay?”
She nods, cupping my face. “I’m fine. I miss you. Come on, it’s been like ten days. I want this.”
But it doesn’t feel right. “Maybe we should just rest.”
“But we haven’t done it in days—”
“And? Yes, I would love to devour you, Posey, but I really think you need rest instead.”
She swallows with difficulty as her eyes search mine. “I’m really sorry, but I do think I need to rest.”
I fall to her side, gathering her in my arms. “Then we’ll rest.”
“You won’t leave?” She looks scared, and it hits me square in the chest. I haven’t felt like the air has been knocked out of me in a long time, but the fear in her eyes does it to me. I realize that if she isn’t okay, I sure as shit won’t be okay.
“Are you sure you’re fine?”
“I am, really. I hate that you came here for one thing, and I’m like, can we just rest? It’s pathetic.”
I narrow my gaze at her. “I didn’t come here to do you, Posey.”
“Liar.”
I flash her a guilty smirk. “Okay, maybe I did. But it’s more than that. I want to be with you.”
She cuddles into my neck, tangling her legs with mine. “I want to be with you too. You make me feel better.”
I want to say that makes me feel better, but I’m still nervous. I stroke my hand along the small of her back as my other hand tips her chin up. She meets my gaze, and I kiss her nose. “I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I’m just really tired.”
“Then sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” she asks, her eyes searching mine.
“I promise.”
Shit, I don’t care who comes through that door and sees us. I’ll get caught. I’ll be traded or benched. I don’t care, because I won’t break that promise to her. I’m not moving until she wakes up and tells me to leave. I can’t. I won’t. Our hearts beat in time as I hold her, sliding
my thumb along her jaw. Her eyes fall shut as her nose nuzzles mine. Slowly, her breathing evens out, and when she is asleep, I close my eyes. I do so with the hope that when I open them, I won’t be terrified of what is happening between us.
I don’t know what this girl has done to me, but I’m falling hard for her.
And like the power play, I’m worried I won’t know how to navigate it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Posey
“Are Elli and Shea okay?”
I roll my eyes as I take all the hangers out of my closet, with clothes still on them, and put them in a trash bag. I refuse to fold everything when they all fit in this plastic bag just fine. “Well, my mom is happy for me, especially since I paid her back. And get this, they restored access to my bank account.”
Ally whistles. “Well, that’s a surprise. I thought after the fiasco with you flying off to see Maxim, they said you couldn’t have it back until you were twenty-five.”
I shake my head. That was a poor life choice, but it’s all a distant memory. Especially when I now have Boon in my life.
Is it pathetic that I swoon at just the thought of him?
“Mom wants me to have a nest egg. I think she feels bad that Shelli had one when she was living on her own—and rent-free in New York, I might add. Also, I’ve paid them back, and I even paid my deposit and a month of rent on my own. I’m an adult. Look at me go.”
She giggles. “And how is Shea taking this?”
“Oh, he’s a hot mess.” I roll my eyes. “He says I’m ruining his life.”
“Shut up,” she laughs.
“I shit you not, Ally. He is so upset with me. He’s like, ‘I’m losing daughters left and right.’ I said, ‘Dad, you only have two, and you messed up having us first.’ He stopped talking to me and left the room.”
Her laughter is contagious. “He’s so silly. Though, my dad is the same. He’s so upset that I live in the dorm, but I need my space.”
I nod. “Exactly. I got a taste of it with all the road trips. I love it. I don’t have to clean up after the boys. I can have carbs. I mean, it’s really nice.”
“And you get to have all the sex.”
“Yes, that too,” I giggle as I tape up a box. “But I do feel bad. Dad’s not handling Shelli’s wedding well, and you know, it has to be hard.”
“I know,” she agrees. “He’s really attached to all of you.”
“He is. He’s a great dad.”
“Have you told him about Boon?”
My eyes widen as I quickly reach for my phone, taking it off speaker. I don’t know if my parents are in earshot. My dad has been moping around my room, hoping I’ll stay. But after cleaning the bathroom after Evan took a massive shit, I’m out. Like, really out. “No, I haven’t.”
“Posey! It’s been what, over a month?”
I grin happily. “Six weeks, to be exact.”
“Whoo-wee, listen to you. I’m assuming things are peachy with lover-boy man?”
I sigh joyfully as I move to pack my trophies and awards from my travel hockey season.
Things are more than peachy; they’re awesome. I am having such a good time with Boon. I never thought I could connect with a man like I have with him. He isn’t just my boyfriend who gives me unbelievably breathtaking orgasms. He’s becoming my best friend. He’s the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. We are constantly on the phone with each other when we’re not together. We laugh, we tease, and we respect each other. I love watching him play. He’s gaining confidence, and the team is doing outstanding. We’re on a three-game winning streak, and I know the Cup is ours. We’ve got this.
“So good. He is awesome. He’s a little upset I got an apartment, though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he wanted me to live with him.”
She snorts. “He lives with a roommate. That would be awkward.”
I wasn’t even worried about Wes. “That, and it’s all so new. I don’t want to rush it.”
“Eh, I mean, you guys spend every waking moment together.”
I make a face. “We do not. I’m here, and he’s at his place.”
“Because your parents don’t know you’re dating him. If they did, he would be over helping you.”
I don’t acknowledge her correctness.
“And what do you mean, rush it? Y’all seriously have an undeniable connection. I’ve seen it. It’s insane.”
I think we do too, but I don’t want to jinx it. “I know. But I don’t know, I get nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Yeah. What if he gets tired of me?”
I’m answered with silence for a beat. “I’m sorry. I don’t follow.”
“You know,” I say, digging my toe into my carpet as I look at the ceiling. “I was never enough for Maxim. What if I’m just all new and exciting now, but Boon gets tired of it?”
More silence and then, “Do you truly feel like that?”
I swallow thickly. “I do. I feel like things are so damn good, and I’m scared if I really give myself over to him, he’s gonna drop me.”
“Posey,” she says softly. “He worships you. And let’s remember, he was dropped. He knows what that feels like. I’m sure he’d let you know if something was off. I really think you have a solid relationship.”
“We do,” I say quickly. “We get along great, he’s amazing, and the sex is awesome. But then I get scared. Should I go and fuck some more people?”
She snorts. “Do you want to?”
“Not at all,” I say, shaking my head forcefully.
“Then why are you even thinking that?”
I fall back on my bed. “I don’t know. He scares the hell out of me,” I whisper. “I like him so much. Really, I do. But—” I stop as I close my eyes. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. “I’m just worried I’m not enough, which I know is ridiculous. I’m badass, but he could do so much better.”
“What? Who is better than you? I’ve never met them.”
My face breaks into a grin. “You love me—you have to say that.”
“And he adores you. Only you, Posey. Do you ever feel like he wants anyone else?”
I smile bigger. “Never.”
“Then tell your brain to shut up, and listen to your heart. Do you love him?”
Whoa. My heart stops, my eyes fly open, and I’m stunned into silence. The answer is there, it is, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Not yet. We’re still so new. “Ally, come on. It’s only been six weeks.”
“You know I fell in love with Taco a week in. Shelli was in love with Aiden after she saw him in a shirt of an artist she liked. Hello, Nick Jonas got engaged to Priyanka Chopra in two months. I mean, love is not controllable. When you feel it, you feel it, and it’s awesome. Own it, girl, because I know you love him, and he loves you.”
I pause to think over what she said. I know how I feel, and I expect her to read me well, but how does she know how he feels? “How do you know that?”
“Posey, seriously. He looks at you like… I don’t even know how to describe it. Almost like nothing else in the world exists. It’s you, and that’s it. It’s awesome. I want a man to look at me like that.” She laughs. “I know we always say we want to be with someone who looks at us how our dads look at our moms. But I swear to you, Posey, it’s as if he looks at you with more intensity, respect, and love than even they do. It’s awesome. Even Asher was like ‘Whoa, he’s really into Posey.’ We’re so happy for you. We want this for you.”
I take a deep breath. Can I believe what she says? Is it true? When Boon looks at me, I feel special. But then I think I feel that way because no one ever looks at me like he does. I worry that I don’t give him the same and that could lead to him not wanting to be with me. It did for his ex. He wasn’t attentive, and she cheated. Am I doing something wrong? “How about me?”
Why did I ask that?
“About you?”
“Yeah, how d
o you know I feel that way for him?”
She snickers. “The words you’re looking for are ‘love him,’ Posey. Stop tiptoeing around it and own it,” she scolds, but I refuse. Not yet. “I know because of how your whole face lights up around him.”
I cover my face. “Do you think he knows?”
She sighs. “Oh, Posey, how could he not?”
“Then why hasn’t he said it?”
“He doesn’t have to. Actions speak louder than words.”
I don’t have time to digest her words before my mom is yelling for me. “Posey Rose!”
“Ugh, my mom is hollering for me.”
“Don’t ruin this, you.”
I scoff as I get up. “I won’t.”
We say bye and I hang up, tucking my phone into my back pocket as I head toward the kitchen where my mom and dad are. As I pass by the living room, I check the time to see how much longer I have until I need to meet Boon at Target. I have to grab a few things for my apartment, and he said he wanted to go. We plan on getting slushies and shopping. It’s a date that my little basic white girl heart is looking forward to. When I reach the kitchen, my mom is leaning on the counter on her phone, while my dad is beside her, rubbing the small of her back. It looks very intimate, yet they look at me like it’s nothing unusual.
“How’s packing?”
“Good,” I say, leaning on the counter in front of them. “I’m basically done.”
“Cool. Shea, why don’t you and the boys start loading the car?”
Dad looks at me, such pain in his eyes. “Are you sure?”
I grin. “Daddy, come on. Don’t do this. Did you do this to Shelli?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t like her the way I like you.”
I snort. “Dad.”
“Yes, I did,” he admits, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me. “I don’t want you to move out. Who’s gonna watch SportsCenter with me?”
“The three sons you have.”
“Eh, but they’re not as smart as you,” he mutters against my temple. It’s moments like this that remind me how much they do love me. I hold him close as he kisses my cheek. “Fine, go be an adult. Just don’t get married.”