by Aleo, Toni
No, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, but I didn’t think of all that. All I saw was her talking to the dude she once wanted. I hold out my hands. “Posey, you were willing to give your virginity away just to get that guy back, so excuse me for being wary,” I say, and she gawks at me.
“I was drunk and out of my mind that day, and to be honest with you, I doubt I would have gone through with it. I don’t even know why I told you.”
“So now you want to keep things from me?”
“For fuck’s sake, now you’re grasping for stuff.”
“No. You were in love with him.”
She blinks, but then she narrows her eyes. “So? You were in love with Julia. Am I over here saying you can’t speak to her—”
“I don’t want to talk to her! I don’t want anything to do with her!”
“And I don’t want anything to do with him! I told him that. If you had the chance to say that to Julia, I would hope you would take it.”
“I wouldn’t if you didn’t want me to,” I throw back at her, and her eyes are wild with anger.
“I wouldn’t care if you did because I trust you.” Our gazes stay locked as we suck in deep breaths. I’m so upset, I’m shaking. With her eyes dark and full of anger, she sneers, “I’m in love with you, and I don’t want to fuck that up. But if you can’t trust me, what’s the point?”
“Don’t even, Posey. I do trust you.”
“Then why are we fighting?”
“Because I don’t want you around him. I don’t trust him. He could—”
“He couldn’t do anything because I love you. Only you,” she says seriously. “That is the difference between Julia and me. No man, no woman, no anyone could come between us because I love you. I love us. So, get your head out of your ass and realize that.”
She turns away then, so I grab her to stop her. “Posey—”
She yanks her arm from mine for the second time. “Do not grab me like that,” she warns. “I won’t tell you that again.”
I drop my hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you—”
“You didn’t, physically. But mentally, yeah, you’ve fucked me,” she admits, and I can see the tears gathering in her eyes. “I thought we were solid, but maybe we aren’t—”
“No, we are,” I say desperately. “I’m just freaking out—”
“Which is why I’m going to walk away.” She meets my gaze. “We can talk tomorrow.”
“Posey,” I say, my heart beating out of control in my chest, but she holds up her hand.
“We can talk tomorrow,” she repeats, and then she heads toward the elevators. I want to chase her, beg her to talk to me, but I don’t trust myself. Apparently I’m a fucking idiot. I had the world in my hands, and I let jealousy get in the way.
“I’m just being stupid!” I yell, and she doesn’t look back. She only nods.
“Yeah, so get that together!” she hollers back at me, and my heart falls into my gut.
This moment only solidifies my belief that pretty girls make me stupid.
Or not all girls—just that girl.
“Okay. Sorry, there was a line. Wait, where is Posey going?”
I look back at my boss and my girlfriend’s mom. That is, if she still wants to be with me. “I pissed her off.”
She nods, patting my chest. “I’m gonna pray for you.”
I nod. “I probably need it.”
She gives me a small smile. “She’s stubborn.”
“I know.”
“But she loves you,” she says softly.
“And I love her. Even the stubborn part.”
“I love hearing that,” Elli says with a bright smile that reminds me of Posey’s. I never really thought she looked like her mom, more like her dad, but her smile is her mom’s, for sure. “Do you wanna get a drink? I’d love to get to know you.”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, but I think I should go to bed and feel stupid about a pointless argument.”
She nods. “A man who knows he’s stupid is a man in love.”
I glance back at her. “Well, I’m one stupid dude. Because my heart knows the search is over and she’s it. I just can’t seem to get my brain to listen. I’m terrified of being hurt again.”
She cups my bicep. “That’s the unpredictability of love. You just gotta trust it’s real.”
The thing is, I know it’s real. I know Posey came when I needed her, but I let my earlier insecurities cloud what is real and perfect in front of me. “You’re not upset with me?”
“Not at all. We’ll have dinner together another time.”
I sigh sadly. “I mean about fighting with Posey.”
She actually laughs. “Oh, sweet boy,” she says, hugging me tightly. “You two are going to fight. Shea and I fight constantly. About the stupidest things and then some not stupid things,” she admits, her eyes holding mine. They’re such a dark emerald green and so beautiful. “I believe that fighting means you’re passionate enough about the other person to hold them accountable and they feel the same for you. As long as you know when you’re wrong and she knows when she is and you can admit it to each other, everything will be fine.”
I swallow hard. “Okay.”
She pats my chest. “Don’t worry.”
I do worry, though. I don’t want to lose her over something stupid. I almost want to find Maxim, kick his ass for hurting her and causing a fight between us, but I know it wasn’t his fault. It was mine and my jealousy. Elli and I say good night, and as I ride the elevator to my room, I lean into the wall, holding my phone in my hands. I glance at the screen, hoping Posey has texted me, but she hasn’t. I take a deep breath as I open our text thread and message her.
So I can admit that I’m wrong.
Me: I love you.
Posey: I love you, but I don’t like you right now.
Me: If it makes it better, I don’t like myself right now.
Posey: I would never hurt you.
Me: I know.
Posey: Stupid fight over nothing.
Me: I know. Can I take you to breakfast tomorrow after morning skate? Apologize with waffles?
Posey: I want bacon too.
Me: Done.
Posey: And kisses. Lots of sorry kisses.
Me: Tongue or no tongue?
Posey: Duh, all the tongue, and you better grab my ass.
Me: Like I could resist.
Me: I love you, lovely.
Posey: I love you too, you jealous pain in my ass.
I lean my head into the elevator wall and grin.
Yeah, we’ll be okay.
As long as I get my head out of my ass and love her like I could lose her at any moment.
* * *
“I texted her, honey.”
I walk into the locker room of the Avalanche’s arena, annoyed. Not only is my mom driving me insane, but I haven’t heard from Posey. I thought things were fine, but she didn’t answer my good morning text. I know she’s up. The coaches head to the rink before we do, so I’m unsure what is going on. Before I could call, though, my mom called me.
“Did she answer you back?”
“No.”
I press my lips together. “I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t get it? She didn’t tell me anything, and when I asked if she wanted to have dinner with you, she said yes.”
She clears her throat. “I may have really messed this up.”
“Maybe, but she doesn’t hold a grudge. She’s a good girl, and she loves me enough to give you another chance.”
“I just worry, is all. I did all that with loving intentions.”
“Being mean to the center of my world is loving intentions? I have a hard time believing that, Mom,” I say as I enter the locker room. “She really is amazing, and you didn’t give her a chance.”
“I just don’t trust women anymore when it comes to you—”
“You don’t have to trust them. There are no more. Just her.”
She takes a deep breath. “Bo
on, I worry you’re all in and she’s not.”
“Well, you’re wrong,” I insist as I sit down in my locker. “She is all in and then some. We’re happy, Mom. Be happy for us.”
“I’m trying. I really am,” she says, but I don’t know if I believe her. “I don’t want to say I told you so if this goes bad.”
Now she’s just pissing me off. “If you keep talking like that, you won’t have the chance because I won’t answer the phone anymore.”
“Boon—”
“No, Mom, seriously. Listen to me. She is it. When I started to fall in love with her, I realized that I have never loved anyone like this before in my life. My love for her is so different from what it was for Julia. She isn’t my girlfriend. She’s my best friend. We legit have a blast together, and fuck, Mom, I want to wash her hair. I mean, come on. This is real. I love her.” I’m answered with silence, and I take in a deep breath. “I want you to love her. I want her to love you. But at the end of the day, I’m choosing what makes me happy, and it’s her.”
“So, I don’t make you happy?”
“Right now? No. You’re pissing me off.”
“I am your mother. I was there for you when no one was.”
“And I will never be able to fully thank you for that, Mom, but you are choosing to dislike the one person who completes me.”
“Because you’ve been hurt by someone like her—”
“Mom, if you got to know her, you’d know she isn’t like Julia. Please, for the sake of our relationship, go into this with no jaded feelings. Give her the chance to prove to you that she is absolutely amazing.”
I hear her swallow. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
I exhale heavily. “Then I don’t think we have anything else to say. Let me know if that changes.” With that, I hang up. My heart breaks in my chest. I told Posey I was sure my mom would come around, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe Julia fucked her up more than she did me, and that sucks. I wish I had never given my heart to that woman. Thank God I got it back and Posey owns it now, but damn it, I wish my mom would get her heart back. Posey is so loving and amazing. I wish my mom would accept her with open arms like Elli did with me. She would find out how great Posey is. How much she loves me. And how great we are together.
I lean back in my locker, and when Wes pats my knee, I sigh.
“It’s okay, man,” he encourages, and I close my eyes.
“I’m not fucking up, am I?”
“I’m a bit jaded—bad childhood and all—but I don’t think you are.”
I feel another pat to my knee. “You aren’t,” Aiden says then.
At that moment, I’m thankful for these two.
Sometimes, family isn’t blood. And that phrase couldn’t be truer when it comes to my boys.
And sometimes, family isn’t given, it’s found.
Which reminds me, I need to text my girl.
Me: My mom and I got into it. I’ll tell you more at breakfast.
When she doesn’t text me back, I’m confused. Maybe her phone is dead. She sometimes forgets to plug it in. It’s starting to make me nervous, but I’ll see her on the ice in a matter of minutes. Or maybe she’s already on the rink. With that thought, I hurry to get ready. When I hit the ice, though, she isn’t there. I skate around, watching the locker room doors for any sign of her. When Wes and Aiden hit the ice with me, we play around with the puck, but still, there is no sign of her.
“Where is she?”
Wes looks around, and Aiden shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m surprised she isn’t out here yelling at us yet.”
“Right?” Wes asks. “We didn’t do shit on the power play the other day. I was sure she’d rip us a new one in the locker room.”
My stomach drops. “She hasn’t been feeling good lately. Surely she’s okay?”
Aiden waves me off. “Yeah, she’s fine. Don’t think like that. Shelli would have said something this morning.”
That’s true.
But then Coach Titov comes out onto the ice. Alone.
Not good.
“Special teams,” he hollers before blowing his whistle.
My stomach feels like it’s twisting into a knot as I skate toward him. My heart kicks up, and my body starts to tremble as sweat gathers at my neck. Something isn’t right. When we stop in front of him, he claps his hands together, and I notice he has Posey’s tablet.
Shit. I think I might puke. Did her mom fire her? I couldn’t live with myself if she chose me over her coaching job. Damn it. My heart jumps up into my throat as he clears his throat, and I feel Aiden’s and Wes’s gazes on me. They know something is wrong too.
“Okay, guys, before we get started, keep Coach Adler in your prayers. I don’t have any details, but she was taken to the hospital a little over an hour ago—”
I feel like I’ve been hit square in the chest, and breathing isn’t an option.
He doesn’t even get to finish before I’m racing off the ice with no cares about who sees.
Fuck my career. Posey is more important.
She’s everything.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Boon
“Where are you?”
Fuck, my heart is pounding so damn hard, I can’t even breathe right. My whole body is trembling so much as pure fear shakes my core. I’m pacing outside the rink, waiting for Shelli to tell me where they are so I can get an Uber. Shit, I might run. I don’t know. I gotta get there. I gotta make sure Posey is okay.
“Saint Joseph,” Shelli says quietly, and I look up how far it is. Two miles. No, I can’t run. Not in this weather. I need to get there now, so I order the Uber.
“What is happening?” I ask. I continue to pace, my stomach in knots by the tone of her voice.
“We don’t know. They haven’t come out to talk to us. We found her passed out on the bathroom floor with blood everywhere—”
I feel like I might puke. “Blood?”
“Yes, Boon, it was awful. I think she passed out and hit her head. I don’t know,” she says, her voice breaking. “She was white as a sheet, hardly breathing. Oh my God—”
When her words break off, my heart shatters in my chest. “Okay, okay, breathe, Shelli. It’s okay,” I say softly, trying to stay calm for her. But Jesus, blood? What the hell is going on? “Everything is fine. Posey is the strongest woman I know. She’s got this.”
“You’re right. You’re right,” she says, tears in her voice. “Are you on your way?”
“Yeah, getting in my Uber now,” I say as I do just that. “Be there in fifteen.”
“Okay,” she says slowly. “Just a heads-up, my dad is on his way.”
“I don’t care,” I say simply, and I don’t. Shea Adler doesn’t scare me right now. The only thing that has me freaking the hell out is whatever is hurting my girl. I hang up, tucking my phone into my pocket as I hold on to the back of the headrest. “Dude, get me there as fast as you can, and I’ll tip you real well.”
The guy nods. “No problem.”
The fifteen-minute ride, that is actually ten, feels like a lifetime. I jump out of the car before he even comes to a stop, and I run inside, straight to the front desk. “Posey Adler?”
The lady who resembles the sloth from that damn zoo movie Posey made me watch a couple weeks ago looks up at me and then back down to her computer. Again, it seems like forever before she finally says, “She’s in the ER, no room number yet. It’s that—”
Before she can finish, I follow the direction she’s pointing and run. I push through three sets of doors before I enter the waiting room of the ER. I see Shelli in the corner, balled up, and I head straight toward her. She looks up just as I reach her, and she stands. Before I even realize what I’m doing, we envelop each other in a hug. A tight one.
Her face presses into my neck as she takes a deep breath. “I’m so scared.”
I pull back, cupping her shoulder. “It’s okay. Everything will be fine. Okay?”
She nods, the tears coming down her face in rivers. “Mom is back there with her, but they won’t let me go.”
Which means they probably won’t let me. I sit down beside her, my legs bouncing as I stare at the doors that have my girl behind them. The fear that is radiating through me is ten times worse now that I’m sitting next to Shelli. Posey can never say this girl doesn’t love her, because it’s very obvious that Shelli does. I lean on my legs, and the bouncing of them shakes my whole body, but I don’t care. I’m too wired to stay still.
I don’t actually care, but still, I ask, “How much trouble am I in for leaving practice?”
Shelli presses her lips together. “I think you’ll be fined.” She gives me a forgiving smile. “I can try to make sure it doesn’t—”
“No, everyone probably knows about Posey and me now. I need to be reprimanded like everyone else who would have done what I did.” I don’t regret anything. I need to be here. Right now, it’s for Shelli. But when I get back there, I’m not leaving Posey’s side.
“But it is your girlfriend. I feel there might be a loophole. Emergencies happen.”
I shake my head. “Posey would kick my ass.”
Shelli actually smiles. “She would.”
When Shelli’s phone sounds, she fumbles with it but finally rights it and holds it out to read the text. It’s from her mom.
Mom: They’re taking her back to surgery.
My stomach drops. “Surgery?”
Shelli’s eyes are full of tears as she shakes her head, asking her mom what is wrong.
Mom: I’ll tell you soon. Let me get more information.
Shelli meets my gaze.
“Has this happened before?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“No. It doesn’t make sense. What could be wrong that she needs surgery?”
“I would google it, but I’m pretty sure it would tell me she has cancer and two minutes to live. I can’t handle that right now.”
Shelli puts down her phone. “You’re right.”
“You were googling, weren’t you?”
She nods. “Yes.”
I would laugh, but I don’t have it in me. I lean back in my chair, hitting my head softly on the wall. I want so badly to go back there. It kills me that I can’t see her before she goes under. Then all of a sudden, I’m getting up.