Hell Hath No Fury
Federal Bureau of Magic cozy mystery, Book 7
Annabel Chase
Re4d Palm Press LLC
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Also by Annabel Chase
Chapter One
“Is it really too much to ask?” Neville asked.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.” I dodged the flaming magical ball that my assistant tossed in my direction. The wizard and I were running through training exercises in Davenport Park. Situated near both the Susquehanna River and the Chesapeake Bay, the park is a great location for outdoor activities. It’s also an ideal spot to keep an eye on ‘the mound,’ the nearby hillside that houses a secret portal to Otherworld, the supernatural realm. Even though the portal is dormant, it gives off mystical energy that draws supernaturals to this idyllic human town. It’s the ultimate freak flag and I’m the official freak wrangler.
“You don’t need to say it every day,” Neville said. “It’s not as though I’m suggesting we replace ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ with it. Nana Pearl always said that courtesy is the cornerstone of civilization.”
I smiled wryly. “I guess that explains why my house feels more like the Wild West.” I leaped to the side and rolled across the grass to avoid another ball of fire. The magical ball dissipated in the air behind me.
“You need a Nana Pearl in your family,” Neville said. “She was full of lofty phrases and words of wisdom.” He sighed at the memory.
I sprang back to my feet. “My grandmother is full of words of wisdom too,” I said. Move out of the way before I run you over with a lawnmower spell. Or the more recent—don’t mix up these two potions because if you drink that blue one, you’ll die an agonizing death and I’m not in the mood to clean up blood and vomit.
“Perhaps when you’re about to enter a dangerous situation,” Neville pressed. “You only need to say ‘it’s fury time’ and march in with your aggressive nature. That might even be enough to deter the demon you’re facing.”
“First of all, I don’t have an aggressive nature. Second, if I’m about to fight a demon, a catchphrase is the last thing on my mind.”
Neville rooted through his wizard bag for another spell. “If you’re not keen on that one, I’m sure I can generate a few more ideas. I’m nothing if not an idea generator.”
“I think we should focus more on training so you can tick the boxes in your little book.”
Neville stopped rummaging to look at me. “It’s not my little book. It belongs to the Federal Bureau of Magic. I’m merely its keeper.”
“You don’t have to remind me,” I grumbled. “I know which master I now serve.” I’d once served the FBI like the nice, ordinary human I wanted to be—until the FBI discovered that I was actually a fury with supernatural abilities. After that, they wasted no time in shipping me back home to Chipping Cheddar, Maryland in order to run the FBM outpost. The last agent in charge had been killed by a demon and they needed an immediate replacement. RIP Paul Pidcock. I never imagined I’d move back here. In fact, I’d intended to stay as far away from my family as possible for the rest of my now immortal life, but the gods had a way of making a mockery of my plans.
Neville studied the training manual. “We need to finish this section so we can move on.”
“Do we have to?” I whined.
“It’s like Jumanji,” he said.
I didn’t register the rest of his words because I was too focused on the police car in the distance. Was it Chief Fox’s car or Deputy Guthrie’s? I squinted, unable to tell from where I stood.
Neville cleared his throat. “I’m beginning to take your T-shirt slogan seriously,” he said.
I glanced down at my light blue T-shirt that read Easily Distracted by Dogs. “What? I just like to state this right upfront so people aren’t offended when I stop paying attention to them.”
“But sometimes there’s no dog,” Neville countered.
I shrugged. “This is Chipping Cheddar. There’s always a dog in sight.” I pointed to the far side of the park. “I see a Golden Retriever right there. Very distracting. I don’t think I can do any more training now that I’ve spotted him.”
Neville eyed me with skepticism. “I don’t think you were gazing dreamily at the dog, Agent Fury.”
I balked. “I don’t gaze dreamily.”
Neville cast a glance over his shoulder. “Was that a police car that drove past a moment ago? I suppose you were hoping to touch base with Deputy Guthrie.”
“Hardy har.” Neville knew perfectly well that Sean Guthrie and I loathed each other. Sean and I had grown up together—he was close friends with my ex-boyfriend, Tanner Hughes. Sean had delighted in my misery after Tanner and I broke up. My thoughts trailed off as a new memory slid into place. We’d broken up because I’d caught Tanner cheating with Sassafras ‘Sassy’ Persimmons, head cheerleader extraordinaire. Thanks to a demon’s influence over Aunt Thora, I’d recently learned that Tanner hadn’t cheated of his own volition. The cruel act had been the result of a spell cast by my own family because they didn’t want me in a serious relationship with a human. On the one hand, it was water under the bridge. I was no longer interested in Tanner and he and Sassy were still together. On the other hand, the violation of trust had scarred me for years and I hadn’t been involved in another meaningful relationship—until now.
“Earth to Agent Fury?” Neville snapped his fingers.
“You don’t have to snap,” I said. “I’m listening.”
“Are you?” Neville regarded me curiously. “In that case, what were my instructions?”
Okay, so my mind had wandered. That was only because training exercises were boring. If there wasn’t an actual demon in front of me, I couldn’t see the point of using magic or any other powers. I’d spent my life avoiding them and now I was expected to use them every day. Sometimes it was all too much.
“Your instructions were to caffeinate you,” I said.
“I don’t believe that’s what I said.”
I nodded vigorously. “You mentioned coffee. I heard you distinctly.”
Neville eyed me. “Would this have anything to do with a certain chief of police holding Coffee with a Cop hours?”
“No, Chief Fox does that at Magic Beans. I was thinking we’d go to The Daily Grind.” I strolled toward the wizard and gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. “Come on, Neville. You’ve earned a drink.”
Neville still seemed distrustful. “What’s wrong with Magic Beans? I thought you’d decided to split your time between the two.”
“Exactly. This is me, splitting my time.” I was trying to avoid running into Chief Fox in public, especially places like Magic Beans which was owned by a perceptive witch named Corinne LeRoux. I didn’t need tongues wagging if the chief accidentally brushed his hand against mine or if I laughed too loudly at his jokes. In fairness, I laughed too loudly in general.
“This is like romance roulette, Agent Fury,” Neville said.
I frowned. “Romance roulette sounds like something else entirely.” Neville was one of the select few that knew I was romantically involved with the chief and I hoped to keep it that way. The last thing I wanted was for my family to discover my secret and resort to magic to break us up like they did with Tanner. Although
I had yet to confront my mother and Grandma about their past trickery, it was only a matter of time before I lost my temper. When things finally went cauldron-shaped, someone was going to end up dead and buried, and I didn’t want that someone to be me.
The air was pleasantly warm, so Neville and I opted to walk along the promenade into town. The pathway provided a sweeping view of the bay, which sparkled in the afternoon sunlight. It was no wonder the Puritans decided to put down roots here. Who could blame them? With surnames like Burgess, Calvert, and Dorsey, the English settlers started as dairy farmers but eventually turned to cheesemaking. That decision changed the course of the town’s history and was reflected in the street names and establishments to this day.
“Any plans for the rest of the weekend?” Neville asked, as we approached the entrance to The Daily Grind.
I debated whether to tell him about my date with the chief tonight. Just because he knew about us didn’t mean he had to be kept in the loop on the details though.
“The usual. Avoiding my family. Looking out the window of the attic and hoping the barn gets finished soon.”
Neville chuckled and opened the door. “And here I thought I was pathetic.”
The aroma of rich brewed coffee hit my nostrils and I inhaled deeply. “How about you? Have you given any thought to wading into the dating pool? There must be an app for wizards like you.” I lowered my voice as we joined the line. If anyone heard me call him a wizard, they’d just think we were Potterheads.
“I don’t know that I want to date a supernatural, specifically,” Neville said quietly.
I leaned in closer to him. “How could you not? You’d at least have to date a human with the Sight.” Neville was constantly tinkering with trinkets I might be able to use in the field. He was the magical Q to my supernatural James Bond.
We placed our order and shuffled to the side to wait for our drinks. For a Sunday, the coffee shop was hopping. Families were enjoying slices of cake with their coffee and scones with their tea. I was a bit of a coffee snob. Until the arrival of Magic Beans, The Daily Grind was the only place in town I was happy to get my caffeine fix.
“I’ll secure us a table, Agent Fury,” Neville said.
“Eden,” I corrected him. “We’re about to sit at a table together and share a cookie. I think a first name basis is acceptable.”
He squinted. “We bought a cookie?”
“I may have slipped that into the order when you turned away,” I said. I couldn’t resist a baked good. A siren could try to lure me to a watery grave with her beautiful voice, but she’d have a much better chance of success with a plate of homemade cookies fresh from the oven.
I threaded my way through the tables, carrying a tray with our drinks and one large white chocolate chip cookie. Neville had managed to snag a small table by the window, my favorite spot.
“Your beverage, sir.” I set the mug in front of him.
“This feels strange,” he said. “You waiting on me for a change.”
“Don’t get used to it.” I sank into the chair. My body didn’t get tired from exertion the way a human’s would, but I definitely needed to recharge after a training session.
Neville peered at me over the top of his steaming mug. “What about ‘here I am to save the day?’ Will that work?”
“No. Just no.”
“Why not?”
“Because my name isn’t Mighty Mouse,” I said.
A shadow fell over the table and I glanced up to see my cousin, Meg. The pretty teenager was the daughter of Rafael, a warlock, and Julie, a werewolf. My family wasn’t too excited about adding a werewolf to the family, but everyone came to love Julie, including my mother’s side of the family, which was no small feat. When Meg was born and it became apparent that she’d inherited her mother’s pleasant nature as well as her werewolf genes, no one uttered a single complaint, a testament to Julie’s acceptance.
“Hey, Eden,” Meg said. She was dressed in her usual hipster attire—a short, swinging skirt in grey and a long-sleeved black top. Her long hair was threaded into a single braid at the back.
Standing beside Meg was a girl I didn’t recognize. She wasn’t as effortlessly stylish as Meg. Her brown hair was pulled into a messy ponytail at the nape of her neck and she wore glasses that seemed slightly too round for her face.
“Hello there, stranger. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” I said. “You remember Neville.”
Meg smiled at the wizard. “This is my friend from school, Ava.”
“Hi, Ava,” I said. “Nice to meet you.” I wondered whether Ava had any clue that she was hanging out with a werewolf.
“Ava moved here from Delaware,” Meg said.
“My dad changed jobs,” Ava added. “He’s commuting to Baltimore now.”
“I don’t envy his commute,” I said. Even though San Francisco was a busy city, I’d been able to walk or take public transportation to most places I needed to go so that I could avoid the chaos.
“Do you two have classes together?” Neville asked.
“Only one, but we met when Meg rescued me from a group of basketball players in the hallway between classes,” Ava said.
“They were being jerks,” Meg said, seemingly still irked by the incident. It didn’t surprise me. As a werewolf, Meg was bound to have territorial and protective instincts.
“Trust me, I’m not complaining,” Ava said.
“I’m sure it’s not easy being the new girl in high school,” I said.
“I’m used to it,” Ava said with a shrug. “We’ve moved around a lot. Sometimes I tell people my dad is in the military, but really he changes jobs the way some people change their iPhones.”
“That would be my brother,” I said. Anton loved to have the latest and greatest in technology. No wonder he needed to work a side job as a vengeance demon to keep up with his love of material goods.
Meg brightened. “I babysat Olivia and Ryan last night. They’re so cute.”
That was surprising news. My sister-in-law, Verity, was a druid and a doctor in town. She didn’t tend to trust many people to look after her children. Then again, her main babysitters were evil witches, a vengeance demon, and a vampire, so maybe a teen wolf was a step up.
“I hope Charlemagne behaved,” I said. Charlemagne is my niece’s pet Burmese python that seems to think he’s more puppy than snake.
“He tried to swallow my shoes whole, but I whacked him on the head with a newspaper and he slunk away,” Meg said proudly.
“As long as you weren’t wearing them at the time,” I joked.
“We should probably get in line,” Meg said. “I think three more people have come in since we got here.”
“Is it always this busy?” Ava asked.
“It’s Sunday,” I said. “Everybody’s home, plus we’ve got the weekend tourists taking advantage of the nice weather.”
“That’s how we found this place,” Ava said. “We were house hunting after my dad got the job and stayed in a bunch of places. This town moved to the top of the list the weekend we visited here.”
Meg threw an arm around her friend. “And I’m sure glad it did.”
I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them walk to the counter, arm-in-arm and giggling. They reminded me of Clara and I in high school, with our gangly arms and legs and conspiratorial style of conversation. I missed those stress-free days. Not that I missed high school though. I shuddered at the mere thought.
“Are you cold, Agent Fury?” Neville asked. “I think the sun is rather warm through the window.”
“I’m fine.” I gulped down the rest of my drink now that it was cool enough not to scald my tongue. “How about we call it a day? Even agents deserve free time on the weekends, right?”
We vacated the table to let a hovering couple swoop in. Tables and chairs were apparently in short supply today. As I opened the door to exit, I nearly ran smack into Chief Fox. The sexy chief of police held a chihuahua under his arm, which someh
ow only enhanced his sex appeal. I tried to keep my professional mask in place as I greeted him.
“Chief Fox, I thought you’d be over at Magic Beans,” I said.
He grinned. “Did you now? As it happens, the line was out the door, so I decided to come here.” His gaze swept the interior. “Pretty busy here too, it seems.”
I patted the small dog’s head. “Who’s patrolling with you today?”
“This is Atticus,” he said. “He’s tiny but fierce.”
“Hello, little fellow.” Neville put his face a little too close to the dog’s, prompting Atticus to bare his teeth and growl. “Oh my. Was it something I said? Should I have called him a big boy instead?”
I pressed my lips together in an effort not to laugh. “Let’s not.”
“Are we still on for later?” Chief Fox asked and my stomach did a deep dive.
“For our official review of cyber crime reports? Yes, absolutely.” My head bobbed up and down like one of those bigheaded dolls stuck to the dashboard of Tanner’s car in high school.
The chief winked at me. “Looking forward to it.”
“Me too.” So much.
Neville groaned as we spilled onto the sidewalk. “You two are going to have to do a better job than that if you expect to fool anyone. You might as well have sniffed each other’s bums.”
I frowned. “I hope you’re only saying that because we just saw a dog.”
Neville lowered his head. “I’m sure that likely influenced the quality of my response.”
I glanced back inside the coffee shop at Chief Fox and my stomach did a happy dance. In only a couple of short hours, I had a secret date with the hottest guy in Chipping Cheddar. Life couldn’t get much better.
Chapter Two
Hell Hath No Fury Page 1