by Cydney Rax
“I don’t understand,” Dru said.
“I was a minor. I guess I had no rights. Mama said if I fuck around like an adult then she’ll teach me I’m not as grown as I thought I was.”
“But weren’t you raped?”
“Mama knew I’d had sex at fourteen. Even though she didn’t say it out loud, she acted like I must’ve had something to do with that man messing around with me. But I didn’t, I swear to God.”
“This is all too much.” Dru was pensive as she tried to collect thoughts that made no sense to her logical mind. “I-I hear what you’re saying. I believe what you’re telling me. But I still don’t understand, Alita.”
“Hell, you ain’t the only one.”
“How can you not know what happened to the child? Because I know you can’t be referring to Leno since he obviously lives with you and was raised by you.”
“That’s the thing, Sis. See, it’s like this . . .”
As Alita continued with her messy confession, Dru could no longer listen. The story sounded partially true and partially filled with lies. As a result, she did not know what to believe. With a grim look on her face she backed away from Alita. She raced up the stairs and shut the bedroom door solidly behind her. Dru sat on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands, as she thought back on many strange occurrences that had happened within her family. The day that a newborn baby came to live with them. She remembered how their mother’s tummy looked bigger for a while. And all she would tell the girls was that there was going to be a new member of the family. And then this little girl whom their mother named “Elyse Reeves” was now their youngest sibling. Soon thereafter their mother’s stomach seemed flatter. It seemed she dropped the baby weight really fast. But Dru was too young to understand those types of things.
All she knew was that everyone called Elyse “Baby Sis.” But maybe that’s all “Baby Sis” was—just a title.
Dru choked back painful tears as her mind took her places she did not wish to go. And when she heard persistent knocking on her door, she did not respond. She blotted out the noise of Alita’s knuckles loudly tapping. Dru shut her eyes and stiffly remained seated in complete silence. She sat there until Alita decided to go away.
* * *
Even though Calhoun had wed Samira more than a month earlier, that Saturday morning would be the first time Coco officially got introduced to his wife. Coco stood in the doorway of the home that she’d shared with Calhoun for the past seven years. He and Samira had just driven up. She watched him open Samira’s car door and extend his hand. So polite and gentle. Coco stared at the father of her kids, who seemingly overnight had changed into a stranger.
They took their time walking up to her.
“Hey, Coco, this is Samira.”
“Hey,” she said. “How you doing? Come on inside. That’s where the kids are.” Under normal circumstances, Coco would have been traipsing around the house wearing a nightie covered by a long bathrobe. Her feet would have been stomping about in some old tattered house slippers. But today, she wore a purple wrap dress that hugged her slimmer figure. She’d dropped a good forty pounds since giving birth to Cypress, and she felt she looked fabulous.
“Wait right here,” she said to Samira. “Um, Calhoun, can I talk to you in the kids’ room?”
“No, whatever you need to say, you can say it in front of my wife.”
Coco offered a smile that her heart did not feel. “All righty then. No problem. Just wanted you to make sure and drop the kids off here tomorrow no later than six. And I’m putting Cadee’s homework in her backpack. Can you help her with it, please? Don’t forget. And try not to give Chloe any cheese. She’s allergic to cheese,” she explained.
“Oh, poor baby,” Samira said.
“Yeah, it ain’t nothing nice,” Coco said. “But she can drink a little milk. But it can’t be cow milk. Understood?”
“Yes, of course.” Samira nodded and typed some notes into her cell phone. Even though the ladies were cordial, the atmosphere felt awkward. Like a pink elephant was in the room staring right at them.
Coco had always been one to speak her mind. But she felt like she was on a job interview. Like she was in someone else’s house instead of her own. She shuddered and then walked over to Calhoun.
“Um, can you excuse us, Calhoun? I want to talk to Samira woman to woman.”
He was silent.
“Go ahead, honey. It’ll be fine,” Samira gently urged him. Calhoun hesitated and ducked inside the kids’ room. When Coco heard them squealing in delight, she felt herself relax. She gave her competition a sincere smile.
“Have a seat, Samira. I-I’ve wanted to chat with you going on a minute. Now what’s done is done and ain’t nothing I can do about it. But I have some things to get off my chest.”
“Go ahead.”
“How much has Calhoun told you about me or our relationship?”
“Um, I don’t see what that has to do with anything . . .”
“It doesn’t, yet it does. Because even though he went on with his life, he pretty much shocked the hell outa me. He just did. And I was pissed. I wanted to kill that sonofabitch.”
“Seriously? You wanted to do all that? All because a man determined that he wanted to do something else with his life?”
“Oh, save that shit.” Coco laughed.
Samira gasped.
“Look, if you gonna be around me you’ll have to ignore some things. Just because I use certain words doesn’t mean I’m mad. Speaking my mind is just how I am. I keeps it real.” Coco observed Samira and noticed how stiff looking she appeared while she sat on the edge of the couch. The stark contrast between Coco and Samira did not go unnoticed. And it truly hurt her that her ex had picked someone so different from herself.
“Coco, I don’t know what to say. We did not plan this wedding or marriage behind your back. It was all of a sudden.”
“You pregnant?”
“What?”
“It’s a simple question, Samira.”
Samira rose to her feet. “No, not that I know of. But that would be of no concern to you. The only thing that matters now is the coparenting of Calhoun’s children. I want to be friends if possible. I know it sounds strange and maybe even insulting. But where I come from women try to rally around each other.”
“Right, you from Africa or some shit like that?”
“Yes, I am. I’m a proud African woman.”
“Mm hmm. I’m not surprised. Well, did you put some type of voodoo shit on Calhoun and make him marry you? Because all of this happened a little bit too fast for my tastes, unless he was creeping around on me for the longest when I had no idea.”
“Creeping?”
“Don’t act dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about, tramp.”
Calhoun stepped into the room. Cadee and Chloe clung to his long legs as he tried to walk.
“That’s enough, Coco. We came here to get the kids and that’s what we about to do. Don’t you ever disrespect my wife again. If you got a beef with me you need to speak to me. Leave my wife out of it.”
Every time he said “wife” Coco felt as if she’d been slammed into by a tractor trailer. The pain was unbearable.
“My wife is a good woman, and she doesn’t deserve your bad attitude.”
“I don’t have an attitude.”
“You’re trying to hide it like you want to be the bigger woman, but it’s a complete fail. You’re salty, Ma. Take the L and go on with your life.”
Calhoun’s biting words dredged a hole in her heart. She could not believe she’d ever been in love with him. When you believe in people and they let you down, that’s when the hurt pours in. And Coco did not know what to do. How could she get rid of the pain?
“I try hard to work with you,” Calhoun said as if to pacify himself. “But you need to do better.”
She’d had enough. “Calhoun, you’re wrong and you know it. You can’t sit up here and act like I’m supposed to go and accept t
he fact that you dumped me on my wedding day and then up and married this African bitch—”
“Let’s go.” Calhoun grabbed Samira by the arm and led her out of Coco’s house. The girls scrambled behind their father.
Calhoun left Coco alone with Cypress. There was no way she’d let them take care of her youngest. And she had already known that he wouldn’t bring Chance with them. In fact, little Chance could only stand on his toes in front of the window. His nose was mashed against the cold glass. He yelled after them with his eyes looking as sad as she’d ever seen them.
“Come back,” Chance yelled, but they couldn’t hear him. They drove off. Chance backed away from the window. He closed his eyes and burst into tears.
“Come back,” he screamed again and stomped his little feet. Coco went and picked up her son and tried to comfort him. “Baby, it’s okay. That means you and me get to spend time together. You my little partner.”
“I don’t want you. I want my daddy.”
Calhoun had been the only father Chance had ever known. He did not understand why he was no longer invited to hang out with the man and his other siblings. Coco learned she’d have to be his mother and his father.
Chance screamed and yelled and tried to bite Coco when she attempted to hug him.
After a long while she managed to calm him down then went to place Chance in his bed. She lovingly read to him until he fell asleep.
Coco then got Alita on the phone and told her everything that had just happened.
“He’s a fuck boy, that’s all, Coco. And guess what, you picked him. You gotta be more careful next time.”
“Won’t be a next time.”
“Girl, please. There will be a next time and you know it. As soon as you get horny again—”
“Oh, hush up. I ain’t thinking about sex.”
“Anyway, once you’re over your ex, you gotta learn not to just run up and be with any old body. Life is too short, as you found out. And you wasted all those years on a man that did not feel about you the way you felt about him. On Valentine’s Day he told you y’all was gone get married. He went with you to get the license. Then he dumped you like you were burnt-up furniture after a house fire.”
“Lita, please hush.”
“Truth hurts, Sis. But the good thing is now you can see that he ain’t shit, and you can get ready for someone better. Once you get Calhoun completely out of your system, you’ll be open to love again. With a good man. You’ll see.”
“I really hope so, Lita. If not, I can’t see myself forgiving him. It hurts too badly. And because of the kids, me and him will always have unfinished business.”
“Right. I know all about unfinished business.”
“Enough of my sob story. What’s been going on with you?” Coco asked.
The fact that Coco called and did not mention Dru meant that Coco did not know the latest.
Alita sighed. “Girl, I don’t know where to begin. So much is happening my little head is swirling.”
“Can’t be as bad as what’s happening in my life.”
“It’s probably coming in as a close second.”
“Tell me about it.” When Alita thought about her own drama, she was not ready to tell Coco a thing. Not yet. Some things you held onto for as long as possible—held onto until you couldn’t hold on any longer.
Chapter 10
Daughter
Alita was worried. Dru refused to respond to her calls, her texts. And it was killing Alita. Who could she turn to at a time like this? Family meant everything. She had always believed that there was strength in unity.
Alita knew she was taking a risk, but she hoped that this one would turn out in her favor. She decided to pay a visit to someone that she felt loved her.
The moment he opened his door, Alita rushed into Shade’s arms.
“Baby,” she told him. “We need to talk. I always knew this day was gonna come and now it’s here. First, I want to say, you know I love you with all my heart. For you to put up with me, put up with my mouth, my family, well, that means everything in the world to me. But after I tell you what I’m ’bout to tell you . . .” Alita expelled a loud breath. She could not imagine Shade not wanting to be in her life. He’d become her rock. But when people think they know people, and find out additional stories about their true character, a risk is always involved.
“Come out with it, sweetie. Just start from the beginning.”
“Oh, no. I can’t do that Shade. It would take too long. It’s too complicated. But, Jesus, I guess I should just go ahead and tell you . . . My family is a great family. But we have a lot of secrets. Little things that some of us know about, and big things that barely anyone knows.”
Shade looked confused.
“Oh, don’t give me that. Every family has dark secrets that they don’t like to bring up. Stuff that we know about but we won’t talk about. We go on with life, year after year, pretending like things don’t exist, and we try to sweep it all under the rug and hope it never leaks out. Am I right?”
“Yes, Alita. I agree with you.”
“Good. Then I know you won’t judge me for what I’m about to say. Well, it’s like this.” She stared into space for a long time. To admit something that you’ve never spoken out loud took a great amount of courage.
“Elyse is not my sister. She’s my daughter. I’m telling you this, but I don’t want you to tell a soul. I was forced to tell people that Elyse was my sister ever since she was born.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am, Shade. And now I have to learn how to deal with this and how to do it without losing my mind.”
“Why are you just now telling me?”
“Because of Elyse’s other side of the family. They’ve always known the truth, and one of the people is trying to start some trouble.” She did not want to go into detail and hoped Shade wouldn’t pry further.
“Are you in any danger?”
“No. Just dealing with some threats. Someone threatening to tell, that’s all.”
Shade sat and absorbed what Alita wanted to share with him.
“Now you know,” she said. “Now you understand why it seems I’m like her mama.”
“Okay. I must admit I’m shocked,” Shade said. “But who’s the father?”
“Um, the father of Elyse is a guy that . . . see, he pretty much . . . the bastard raped me when I was in high school.”
“Elyse is a product of rape? You’re kidding.”
“I wish I was. And after I got pregnant, my mama told me to have it. Told me that she’d raise the baby as her own. Mama said, ‘No need to blame the child for how it was conceived. We will love her just the same.’ I knew that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone I was expecting. So that’s exactly what happened. I could never say Elyse was my daughter. I had to pretend. It was all a huge mess and Mama didn’t want things to get any messier. Then after I switched schools, everything changed.”
“How did that make you feel, Alita?”
“I was pissed at the man; and very mad at my mama. She stole my child. She didn’t give me a choice. She just told me how everything was going to play out and that I needed to do what she said so we could protect the child and keep her safe.”
“I’m sorry to hear that . . . What about your own father?”
“My dad did everything my mother wanted him to do. Basically she ran him and the whole house. Daddy was a good man and he should have stepped in and taken charge but he didn’t. But that’s another story.”
“How have you been able to pretend all this time?”
Alita shrugged. “It wasn’t easy, but basically I just grew into that role. I called Elyse ‘Baby Sis’ and that’s what she became. After a while it really seemed like she was my mother’s daughter. My mom made me concentrate on continuing my education. Getting my diploma and trying to work off my depression. She also felt that work would keep my mind off of things, and so I started getting jobs to stay busy. I helped with my sisters and ac
ted like everything was normal even though it wasn’t.”
“But then your mom passed away.”
“Right. And I was somewhat glad.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Mama was sick, and I hated to see the woman suffer. I loved her even though I didn’t agree with some of the things she did. But then after she was gone, it’s like I knew I didn’t have to live by her stupid rules anymore.”
“She was a major influence, huh?”
“Very strong-willed. Always wanted to have her way. Always had something to say.”
Shade smiled. “Did you inherit some of her personality?”
“You know what? Because I love you I will let you get away with that shade, Shade!” Alita laughed along with him and quieted down as she thought how relieved it felt to pour out her heart. But she knew there was much more to tell, and she didn’t want to run the guy away.
“Basically, that’s the burden I’ve carried inside of me for a while.”
“Stupid question, but did Leonard know about your past?”
Alita wrung her hands. “Um, at first he didn’t. But eventually he did.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, he did. He was my husband. If I couldn’t tell him, then who could I tell? But I regret opening my big mouth, because it caused some issues in our relationship, to be honest. My confession probably made him change from a decent man to a bad man. So now can you understand why I’ve hid the truth?”
Oh, God, it was so hard to unveil dirty, dark, terrible secrets about one’s past. Most people wanted their secrets to remain buried, never to be unearthed. Truth could cause strange reactions, and many did not possess the character to handle it.
“But we got through it, Shade. That’s the only thing I want to share about that.”
“But your son, Leno . . . does he know?”
“Oh, Shade. I feel so bad. Neither of them know. Elyse thinks she’s my sister. Leno has no idea. I honestly don’t know what to do. Babe, I don’t want to fuck up my family even more than what it is. But it’s all eating me up inside.” She could not tell him about the extortion money that had been paid to Jerrod Dawson . . . It made her feel dirty and like a common criminal. And that was something Alita didn’t want.