by Cydney Rax
“Oh, so that’s the racket I keep hearing. Y’all out here playing and having a good old time.”
“Yeah, Burg. That’s what I do with my girls. Just spending quality time with them.”
“Daddy is so cool,” Natalia said. “Hurry up so I can get my turn.” She turned around and told her mother, “And after this we’re going to play hide and go seek.”
“Really?”
“Yes, and I always come up with some good hiding places so Daddy can’t find me. Sid tries to follow me around, but I tell her she needs to come up with her own hide out.”
Burgundy walked from the room with a smile on her face. She was happy that there was some sense of normalcy in their lives, that the girls saw their father as their dad and not as a sexual abuser.
That night Burgundy was exhausted from all of her activities. But one ritual that she insisted on lately was the girls crawling into bed with her.
Burgundy sat squarely in the middle, with Natalia settled on her right and Sid on her left.
They chatted for a couple of minutes, when Sid asked, “Where’s Daddy? Why isn’t he with us?”
“Um,” Burgundy said. “He is busy in the other room right now.”
“But is he busy all the time? Because I never see him in this bed anymore.”
Burgundy’s heart sank. She’d forgotten how kids notice every detail. Even if they did not understand what was going on in the house, they still saw and felt its impact.
“Well, tell you what? How about you go and find Daddy and ask him to join us, okay, sweetie?”
Both Natalia and Sid yelped, jumped out the bed, and ran from the room. When they returned, both leading Nate by the hand, he looked puzzled and nervous.
“Am I in trouble?” he asked Burgundy.
“No.” She smiled. “You’re just missed. So why don’t you take a break from what you were doing and hop in bed with us for a little while.”
Nate got in bed next to his wife. His eyes thanked her.
Natalia wasted no time with her requests. “Daddy, I heard some people talking about the father-daughter dance. I want to go.”
He laughed. “You’re only seven, way too young for that, Natalia. That’s for when you get older or get married.”
Sid spoke up. “I want to do a daddy-daughter dance too.”
Burgundy shook her head. “They are too cute, but they’re trying to grow up much too fast.”
“Right, I can remember the day both of them were born. Even then I was thinking about how they’d one day mature, graduate from high school and college, and maybe get married and give me some grandbabies.”
“Really, Nate?” Burgundy asked. “I don’t think you need to be thinking about things like that. Let’s just enjoy our kids at the ages they are. I don’t want to rush them to grow older and be independent or teach them how to cook and drive a car until the day that all of that is supposed to happen. And we have a long way to go before that takes place, don’t you agree?”
“I do agree with you, Burg. All I want to do,” he said in a rare emotional voice, “is to enjoy my family. Enjoy all the wonderful stages they’re in right now.”
At hearing the word “stages,” Natalia took that moment to share the exciting news about how she’d be participating in the drama club for the new school year. She loved to act and sing and was taking dance lessons. She proceeded to talk her parents’ ears off. They laughed and smiled and took great joy and pleasure in interacting with their kids.
As Burgundy silently beheld her husband’s gentle loving ways with their daughters, it was difficult to mentally reconcile what he allegedly did with Elyse. How could the man that she married be a rapist? Why would a grown man want to exert power over a young, helpless woman? Nate was so large that he easily towered over Elyse. Did he make her have sex with him? Or was it consensual? Burgundy shuddered. Then she thrust the horrible images from her mind and concentrated on the here-and-now.
Five-year old Sidnee sang and joyfully swung her father’s huge hand as she held it tight. He laughed then tickled her underneath her arms, causing her to squirm and yelp, which made Nate play with her even more. Then Natalia protested, “When will it be my turn? I want you to tickle me too, Daddy.”
They horsed around for ten more minutes and engaged in lovely conversation. Nate’s eyes glistened with thankfulness. Burgundy loved what she was seeing at that moment. It easily made her forget anything bad had ever happened.
“We’ve got great kids,” Burgundy said.
“Yes, we do. And I love them with all my heart, Burg, I’d never do anything to—”
“Shhh. I know you wouldn’t. I know you love the girls. And you love me.”
“I do, Burg. I do.”
“Shhh,” she said again, feeling overcome with emotion. She wished she could turn back the hands of time in so many ways, that what was currently happening in their lives would just quietly disappear.
As Sid and Natalia chattered on and on, everything felt so perfect. Burgundy decided to teach the girls some lyrics from The Sound of Music.
“‘So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.’”
“What’s that mean, Mommy?” Natalia asked.
“It’s a nice way of saying good night or goodbye.”
“Cool.” They continued singing together until they learned the song.
Again Nate mouthed the word “Thanks” to Burgundy. She whispered back, “You’re welcome,” and they enjoyed putting the girls to bed as the evening came to an end.
* * *
Alita was seated at her desk at her job as a bill collector. She was in the midst of harassing a woman who was late paying her bills when she felt someone approach her. She looked up and was handed a pink slip.
She hung up on the woman and asked, “What’s this?”
“Read it,” her supervisor told her. “And if you want to talk to me you only have seven minutes. We pretty much need you to pack up and get your personal things right now. Then you’ll be escorted out the door.”
“What? Why? What did I do?”
Right then another manager entered her cubicle. Everyone in the company was very used to the loud outbursts of Alita Washington. But they were in no mood for her antics today.
Alita stood up, her face turning red with shame.
“You know what, fuck this shit. I don’t even want anything from my cubicle. Why? What good will photos and coffee mugs do when I need a check? Y’all can take this bullshit job and shove it right up your fat asses.”
Alita stormed from the building and tried hard not to cry. She couldn’t believe it. How could she get fired from two jobs in less than a year? Why was the Lord shitting on her like this? Or was it the devil? She did not care who it was, she didn’t like it one bit.
First thing she did was go straight home and open a kitchen drawer. Alita pulled out a bill organizer whose file pockets were bulging with papers. She took a seat at the dining room table and glanced at each bill: water, electricity, car insurance, cell phone, gas, cable, credit card, and some medical expenses regarding Elyse. She also remembered that Leno had an upcoming dental appointment for a deep cleaning that would cost a hundred seventy-five.
Alita mentally added up the numbers of what she owed versus what she had. She pushed back from the table and ran to her bedroom closet. She started rummaging through shoeboxes. She made a mess searching through purses, old dresses, costume jewelry, and music CDs.
“Let’s see what I can sell.” After searching for ten minutes, Alita gave up. She laughed and slammed the door. “This shit ain’t worth ten cents.”
Alita debated if she should pawn the lovely shoes she’d gotten in New York and loudly muttered, “Hell no.”
Hating to do so, but without any other solution, she placed a call to Burgundy.
“What up, B. Look, you’re not going to believe this,” she started out saying. “But I just lost my job.”
“You lost what? Lita, stop playing.”
“You think I’d play about something as serious as that? Sis, I just can’t go through this again. All this stress is getting to be too much.” Between her still hiding secrets from Elyse, and from the agony of Leno recently getting kicked off the basketball team due to some juvenile antics, she felt like her world was ending.
Her voice trembled. “B, tell me the truth. Am I a bad person? Am I? Do I deserve all this shit that’s happening to me? When will it stop? Why do I feel like God is trying to hide my happiness from me?”
For the first time in a long time, the words that came from Alita’s mouth made a solid connection to Burgundy. The two sisters were so unalike it was as if they came from two different sets of parents. But knowing the pain from extreme hurt? Burgundy could relate.
“I don’t know why things seem that way, Lita. Everybody feels like they’re getting messed over at some point. Or like they can’t catch a break.”
“Ha, even you?”
“Even me.”
“But you got money.”
“Money can’t buy everything.”
“Okay, B, then what’s the answer? ’Cause I’m up a creek with no paddle.”
“Well, first of all, maybe you should calm yourself down. Slow down enough to think things through.”
What her sister proposed sounded about right. But functioning in a logical, calm manner wasn’t a natural part of Alita’s character.
So instead of waiting for Alita to do that, Burgundy began to map out a plan for her frazzled sister.
“I’m sure there’s something I can do to make the situation better—,” Burgundy told her.
“There’s plenty you can do. For one, I need to pay off this one credit card that got maxed out,” Alita replied. “And if I can get some help with the car note that would be good too.” She informed Burgundy how she had to buy Leno some furniture and she chose not to go cheap this time around.
“What you did for your son was true love. And the least I can do is help you with that balance and plus some car notes. Don’t even sweat it, Lita.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m serious.”
“Oh, Jesus, thank you, ’cause that interest rate for Visa is off the charts.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“But you don’t even know how much I owe,” Alita said in a hushed tone.
“It can’t be more than five or ten thousand. Surely no more than fifteen. No credit card company would be crazy enough to spot you more than that. Whatever the amount, I got you.”
All of the saliva left Alita’s mouth. She yelped. Then she laughed. Because to her ears it sounded like her sister was playing God and was powerful enough to rescue her. Again.
“B, you don’t know how much this means to me.”
“Forget about it. That’s what family is for.”
The very next day, Alita drove over to Morning Glory to meet Burgundy. She mentioned to Dru that she was going there to pick up Elyse from her job. Dru said it was fine. And when Alita arrived at the restaurant, Burgundy was true to her word. Alita handed over the most recent bill to her sister so she could reference the account number. And Burgundy wrote out a check to Visa for ninety-five hundred dollars.
“B, you’re the best sister ever. I mean that.” Alita snatched the check from her hand, then jumped up and down and gave Burgundy a lovable squeeze. And when Burgundy also wrote a check to her to cover two car payments, Alita kissed her all over her cheeks. “You’re my favorite, B, I swear.”
Burgundy smiled and kissed her back. “I will remember that the next time you call me out of my name, Lita.”
“Girl, I just be playing with you.” Alita calmed herself down, then glanced around the restaurant. It was busy as usual. She inhaled the aroma of coffee, waffles, scrambled eggs, and fried bacon. “I guess I can eat some of this expensive food before I leave.”
“Go right ahead,” Burgundy told her. “Get whatever you want.”
“It sure is nice to know black folks with money, I swear to God.”
Burgundy laughed and told her she needed to go take care of some business.
Alita took a seat at her favorite booth and placed an order. She continued glancing at the pricey menu and sipped on a cup of hot tea, when something caught her attention. She looked up. Jerrod had slid into the booth.
“Hi, Ms. Alita,” he said.
“What are you doing here? How’d you know I was here?”
“Facebook is like breaking news when it needs to be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Dru and I are Facebook friends. I can see all her posts and all her photos. I was in the neighborhood when I happened to check her page. She had posted about how happy she was that you were at Morning Glory about to eat breakfast. And then I started looking through her photos. I saw you in them. And I remembered how you cried broke a little while ago, yet based on all that grinning you were doing, you were living it up in New York. A trip to NYC costs a grip.”
“So what? My sister paid for that trip. For all of us—” Alita thought twice about her words. But it was too late.
“Oh, yeah. One of your sisters got it like that!” Jerrod looked around. “I read in the papers about her. Burgundy, right? She’s Taylor now? I see that she and her husband opened up two more barbershops earlier this year. The barbershops that cater to the members of the Rockets, and the Texans, and a few of the Astros. Must be nice to have a sister that’s securing her bag.”
“Jerrod, my sister ain’t your business. Leave me the hell alone.”
Right then she saw Elyse breezing by clutching menus in one hand. She was leading patrons to their booth. Alita broke out in a sweat. Did Jerrod know what Elyse looked like? What if he tried to talk to her? What if he told her that Alita was her mother?
She thought quickly. Once her credit card payment cleared, that would free up her balance. She could take out a cash advance and help him that way.
“Look,” she whispered. “I can get you a thousand dollars in about three days. How does that sound?”
“Sounds hella good. But how I know I can trust you?”
“If I had a stack of Bibles I’d swear on them.”
“That’s not good enough.” He thought for a second. “Why don’t you friend me on Facebook and then post on my wall that you’re about to hook me up financially? Kind of like an early birthday present.”
“What? Are you insane?”
“Pretty much. You see, I gets real crazy when it comes to my money. If I had a daddy, I could ask him for some, but you know how that goes.”
Alita wanted to jump across the table and smack Jerrod. But she knew she couldn’t make things worse.
“Jerrod, I swear to God I will get you the money. I will stop by your place on Friday. I promise.”
His eyes flickered with doubt, but he agreed to her suggestion. “You make sure and get me my coins. If you don’t do it, I’m coming for you and your daughter,” he said. Jerrod pointed at Elyse. Then he got up and left.
Chapter 13
Everything Must Change
No one wants their past to catch up with them or, worse, for the past to repeat itself. But that’s what life felt like. Burgundy stepping in to help out felt good. But Alita knew she couldn’t keep begging her sister for money.
It was now the week after Alita had visited Jerrod and paid him one grand. Elyse had just gotten home from work and was hanging out in the living room.
“Elyse, baby, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“About?”
“I need to have a tough conversation with you, sweetie.”
“Are you going to finish telling me what you tried to tell me before . . . when we were at the last Sister Day?”
Damn. Why did Elyse have to remember that?
“Um, no, sweetie. This time I wanted you to know, I just lost my bill collector position. They let me go. I’m down to one job.”
“You lost your job? Again?”
“Yes! It happen
s. Anyway, my current little gig as a stock clerk, hell, it doesn’t pay me enough to afford the rent on this place. And I-I think I may have to move. Leno might even need to go live with his father. Things are about to change.”
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“I’m not sure, sweetie.”
“I’ll go stay with Coco.”
“Dark Skin? Ha! She’s too unstable. She has all those damned kids and a heart that’s broken. She’s still trying to heal from getting dumped.”
“How about Dru?”
Alita laughed. “That child tries to act like she cares a lot, but if your troubles get too overbearing, she won’t take you in. Dru is cool, but her help is only going to go so far.”
Elyse twisted her lips, thinking. “I’ll go stay with Gamba, then.”
“Gamba?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that your way of saying that he’s your man? Does Gamba love you like that?”
Elyse honestly could not answer the question right then. What they shared felt like love, but she still wasn’t sure how to categorize it.
And later on that night, when Gamba stopped by Alita’s apartment to visit Elyse, she greeted him with a tight hug. She pulled him against her breasts and squeezed him with all her might.
“Is everything all right?” Gamba asked after they stopped hugging. They were alone in the living room. Alita was taking a nap in her bedroom.
“I-I’m not sure what’s right anymore. I feel mad about somethin’.” But Gamba wasn’t listening. He had his own news to tell her first.
“Elyse, I came over to tell you that I’ve gotten my orders to help handle a hurricane situation that’s hit the state of Florida.” It was late June and the hurricane season promised to be busy. The troops were called in to assist in the recovery effort in thirty-one counties. Gamba would be leaving early the next morning with no idea of when he’d return to Houston. The prospect of Gamba leaving her, even for a day, frightened Elyse. It was only when she was with Gamba, or when her thoughts were filled with him, that she felt strong and capable and willing to face everything in her uncertain world.
“No,” she yelled. She leaped into his arms, pressing her chest against his, and tried to become one with him. “Don’t go, Gamba. Please! Don’t go. I won’t let you.”