by Dana Nussio
That second part was a nonanswer, but she must have had a reason to be there, and she would tell him in her own time.
“Ten, actually.”
She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “Oh. You mean the cows. Busy rancher, handling all those deliveries.”
“There were several of us. Anyway, the girls would probably argue that they were working harder than I or any of the ranch hands were. But I still wouldn’t stand downwind of me right now.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Nice office.”
“If you say so.” It was about as basic as a work area could be, with a desktop computer, printer, filing cabinets and a bulletin board. The only thing great about the place was that the others usually left him alone when he was working in it.
Willow paced the narrow space, scanning some of the posted safety and cow gestational documents on the wall. Finally, when Asher couldn’t wait any longer for answers, he tried asking another way.
“I mean, what are you doing on the Triple R? I thought you wouldn’t be caught dead here.”
Finally, she faced him, gripping her hands together. “It’s not so bad. Anyway, I thought we could talk.”
“If you mean about the other night, there’s not much left to say. You rejected my proposal.”
“That’s just it. I’ve been thinking about what I said. Maybe I was wrong.”
Asher rubbed at his forearms that were suddenly tingling. Wrong? She shouldn’t have said no?
“What do you mean? You said what I was offering wasn’t enough.”
“Can’t a woman change her mind?”
Though “a woman” could, he doubted Willow often did. He didn’t have an extra seat in his office, so he gestured for her to sit in his. She shook her head and continued to pace. He leaned against the desk.
“What are you saying?”
She grinned at him, though it was different from her other smiles that he only then realized he’d been cataloging over the past two weeks. There was no laughter in her eyes.
“I’m saying that I’ve thought more about your proposal, and maybe I’d like to amend my answer.”
He shook his head. A response to an offer of marriage should have sounded musical or something. Not flat. Not like accepting a bid for a bathroom remodel.
“You were right,” she continued. “We can form a family together. I’ve grown attached to Harper, and I know you feel the same about Luna. This way we can be with both girls, and they can each grow up with two parents and a sister.”
Why did it sound so bleak when Willow said it? And a bigger question: Why had it seemed like a good idea to him in the first place? Because they had great chemistry in bed, a couple of kids to raise and could hold a civil conversation?
Sure, it was more than a lot of marriages had. Only it wasn’t enough. Especially not for her.
Earlier, Willow had said she could never marry without love. Was he ready to use that word to describe the unfamiliar and disconcerting feelings he was developing for her? Probably not. But could he sentence her to life without it if it was something she needed?
“Maybe we should think about this,” he blurted.
“I have, and your idea is so practical. It’s easier this way. No feelings involved. We both know what we’re getting into. We’re walking in with our eyes wide-open.”
That was the problem. His eyes were clear, and the picture before him suddenly looked bleak. She would never be truly happy in a marriage of convenience, and he couldn’t bear the idea of giving her that life.
Willow folded her hands together at her waist. “So, all this is to say, yes, I’ll marry you.”
She glanced up at him with a look so hopeful that he hated to dash it. But he would. For her sake.
“Well, that’s the thing. I need to rescind my offer.”
“You what!” She jerked her hands wide. “You can’t rescind a marriage proposal.”
“Why can’t I? You rejected two of my proposals and then come in here saying you changed your mind? Well, maybe I did, too.” He stopped, tucked his thumbs through his belt loops and tried again. “Look. I’m sorry. I just realized that it’s not right for, well, us.”
“You just decided this? I don’t even get a vote?” She stalked away from him and then looked back. “And I can’t believe you let me go on and on when you were planning to withdraw the offer.”
“I’m doing this for you.”
The words rushed out before he could stop them. Her glare told him that he’d said the wrong thing.
“Don’t tell yourself that this was for me. It has been about you all along. You were hurt once, and now you’re wrapping yourself in a suit of armor to avoid being injured again. I hope at some point you figure out what you want.”
“I’m a parent. I don’t have the luxury of making all my decisions based on my wants or needs.”
“And I do?”
“I never said that.” He gripped the edge of his desk behind him. “I don’t understand. Are we having this argument over a marriage of convenience? Over my taking back an offer I never should have made about something you said you never wanted?”
At that, she blew out an exasperated breath.
“If you think that’s all this is about, then you don’t know a damn thing about women.”
She stalked from his office. Soon the thud of the outside door reverberated through the barn.
He lowered himself into his desk chair again, more spent even than he’d been when she’d arrived. He’d found her anger over his withdrawing the proposal perplexing, but his own feelings then confused him more. Nora’s abandonment after Harper’s birth had been painful, but this was different. Until that moment, as Willow walked out of the building and out of his life, he’d never felt so completely alone.
Chapter 22
“There. You look more like yourself now.”
At Genevieve’s words, Asher glanced up from his folded hands and leaned against the bedrail to examine her handiwork. With a pair of professional shears, she continued trimming his father’s silvery sideburns with tiny careful snips. It had been two days since Willow had accepted his proposal, and he’d withdrawn it. Since Asher had been unable to get it out of his mind, his mother’s request that he would go to the hospital to help with his dad’s grooming had come as a welcome distraction. But as Genevieve completed her gentle ministrations, brushing her fingers along Payne’s hairline, a lump formed in Asher’s throat.
This was what true love looked like.
Did he already know what it felt like?
He licked his lips and tried to blink away memories that benefited no one. Even if he did love Willow, what did it matter now? He couldn’t exactly renege on the withdrawal of a marriage proposal.
“Thanks for meeting me here this time,” Genevieve said. “I know it’s hard for you to get away during calving season, with all the mamas and the new babies. Especially during the day.”
“Don’t worry. The guys are holding down the ranch.”
In fact, he’d been surprised when she’d asked him to join her. Usually, she insisted that they take turns sitting at Payne’s bedside, so there would be a smaller chance that he would awaken alone.
“I still can’t believe you’ve been trimming his hair.”
Genevieve brushed her fingers through her most recent work. Though probably uneven, it was better than the shaggy look he would have had after lying in bed for four months.
“What was I supposed to do?” she said. “We can’t bring his barber in here and provide material for gossip. We would need a nondisclosure agreement.”
She waved away the idea with a brush of her hand. “He’ll wake up soon, and then they can joke at the barbershop what a bad job I’ve done.”
“Or hire you.”
They both chuckled, a good thing since they hadn’t had
much to laugh about lately.
“So, I heard that Willow Merrill stopped by the ranch the other night.”
Asher had been focused on his mother’s progress with the scissors, but he lifted his gaze to catch her carefully blank expression.
“Mother, what did you do?”
“Willow’s such a lovely young woman. Smart, too. We had a nice chat. You must have come up at some point.”
He was torn between waiting his mother out and begging her to know what was said. But she couldn’t be rushed.
“I was sorry to hear you’re removing Harper from her day-care center. Your baby probably already loves her.”
He didn’t have to ask himself how she knew about his plans. People who complained about having no secrets in a small town should try being a Colton.
“Please stay out of it.” Could she have been the reason that Willow had changed her mind about his proposal? Had his mother’s meddling caused Willow humiliation?
“I wish I could. Unfortunately, I was already involved.”
Asher blinked as the truth settled. “You know about Willow and her mom.”
Genevieve set the scissors on the bedside table. Then she gathered up the towel she’d been using to collect hair and crossed to the trash can to shake off the clippings.
Finally, she looked back at him.
“It wasn’t hard to put it together. Willow’s not a common name.”
She returned to her chair next to the bed.
“How did you even know what her name was, after—” He shook his head. The last thing he needed was to listen to his mother trying to explain the inexcusable. “Why’d you talk to Willow now, after all this time?”
“Even if it was late, she deserved an apology. I should have helped her mother more than I did the night she was fired.”
She scooted closer to the bed and brushed her fingers over her husband’s freshly shaven cheek. “He would probably agree now that he overreacted. He’s softened a little after all these years.”
Asher half expected his dad to wake up and argue that point.
“If he has softened at all, he owes that to you.”
Genevieve squeezed her husband’s pale hand.
“We all make mistakes, Asher. What we do to repair the fences we tear is a sign of our true character.”
“Only you would speak in rancher analogies.”
“What can I say? I’m Payne Colton’s wife.”
Asher’s gaze moved from his father to the woman who loved him despite his flaws. He slumped in his chair.
“I think I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”
He waited. If nothing else, he’d always been able to count on his mother to take his side. “So, what did I always tell you to do when you mess up?”
“Fix it.”
“It’s good to know that at least one of my children was listening. I worried that I was whispering into the wind with all of you.”
“You? Whispering?” He shook his head. “Never.”
This time she laughed, sounding more relaxed than she had in a while. She stopped as her gaze fell again on her sleeping husband. Her smile was for him alone as she brushed her fingers back and forth over his hand.
Then she looked up at her son.
“We can’t help who we love, Asher. Or change whatever mistakes brought us to that point. We can only recognize that person for the gift that he or she is, because love and family are the only things that matter.”
He patted his father’s hand and rounded the bed to drop a kiss on his mother’s head. Then he hurried from the room before she had the chance to see how wet his eyes were. Anyway, if his dad awoke right then, he would probably fire him as foreman for the sheer lack of toughness.
Only his mother’s words followed him as he passed the guard posted outside his father’s hospital room door and continued down the hall. We can’t help who we love. And he knew. He loved Willow Merrill. It didn’t matter how they’d met. Or his track record with relationships. Or even hers. But was he ready to take a risk on love the way his mother had described it? His heart still ached at the memory of Genevieve looking with hope at his comatose father, still believing, no matter how much time had passed, how bad the odds were. If he did take a risk with Willow, could he bear it if he ever lost her?
* * *
Asher pulled into his regular spot on the ranch in the line of pickups just as Jarvis Colton emerged from Barn Two. Jarvis, a distant cousin and one of triplet siblings along with Bella and cop Spencer, approached the truck.
“How’s it going, boss? Any change with Payne?”
“How’d you know...?”
“Oh. Rex told me you were taking a little time to see your dad. I’m sure you mom appreciated having you there.”
Asher shrugged. What would he and the other cowboys think if they knew that, even with everything else going on, his mother had reached out to him instead of the other way around? Anyway, it surprised him that his cousin was asking about nonwork matters. Jarvis had previously refused to discuss his own past.
“Is the news that bad?”
“No. There’s just no change, no matter how great everyone keeps saying that Dad looks.”
“Sorry, Asher.”
“Any new deliveries this afternoon?”
Jarvis shook his head. “No, but Jace has been watching out for one laboring mother in Barn One. He’s been super helpful lately and has us on speed dial in case the cow needs some backup.”
Asher immediately started toward the barn where Jace was working.
“He’s doing fine, boss. Don’t worry.”
Asher paused. “You’re right. I’m sure he is.”
“I needed to talk to you about something anyway.”
“More problems with the fences?”
“Nothing like that. It’s just, well, I have an idea about how to flush out Payne’s shooter.”
“Your brother’s got it under control. At least that’s what he said when I went to see him. I was trying to tell him how to do his job, too.”
Jarvis shook his head. “Oh. I bet Spencer hated that. He hates when anyone questions his authority, especially Bella or me. But maybe that’s just a triplet thing.”
“Then why are you trying?”
“Because whoever shot your dad needs to pay for it. And because Mustang Valley will be a much safer place once the shooter is off the streets.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. What’s your plan?”
“It’s simple. You just have to let the information leak that Payne is awake. Since your dad probably knows the shooter, or at least saw him, the guy will be forced to come and finish the job.”
Somehow Asher managed not to shiver over the last part, but he still shook his head.
“That doesn’t sound like a good idea.”
“Really, it’s perfect. Spencer could have some of his officers staking out the place in addition to your security guys. Heck, your story won’t even be that far off from the truth, since you all said your dad is improving every day.”
“There are a few problems with your premise. First, we can’t use my father as bait. What if the shooter’s successful? Even with the police and the personal-security service we hired, Dad could still be killed.”
Asher’s breath caught as he remembered to whom he was speaking. Jarvis wouldn’t take that risk lightly. The Colton triplets had lost both of their parents when they were just ten years old.
“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Forget about it. Anyway, you’re right. I wasn’t thinking about what would happen if the guy succeeded.”
“That’s not even the only hole in your plan. MVPD isn’t big like Tucson’s police department. Chief Al Barco doesn’t have officers to spare for surveillance. And the part about it being closer to the truth, well, those report
s about Dad’s improvement might have been exaggerated.”
“So, it’s not a perfect plan, but do you have a better one?” When Asher shook his head, Jarvis lifted his hands in victory. “Then, hell, it’s worth a try.”
“Maybe you have a point. If we used a decoy for Dad, it could possibly work. I would need to run it by my brothers and sisters first, but if—”
“Absolutely it could work. Don’t you think so, Jace?”
Asher found Jace standing behind him. How long their houseguest had been there, he wasn’t sure.
“Depends on what you’re talking about.”
“What about the cow in Barn One?”
“Rex took over for me two minutes ago. Guess he didn’t trust me to handle it if she really got into trouble.”
“That’s fair.” Asher grinned, both because he had an answer to his question and that Rex was probably right.
If Jace was going to be around the ranch for a while, then he had a lot to learn. Still, every time he came out to the barns or field, he appeared to fit in a little better. Today he’d even traded the fancy Western hat that Ainsley had bought him for a more reasonable work hat. He’d paid for it himself that time.
“It was good of you to help out here while I was at the hospital. Especially with all the work you’re doing with the earthquake recovery efforts.”
“Just glad I could help. And glad you had that old truck around so that I had something to drive.” He stretched his neck from side to side and rolled his shoulders.
“I am a little tired, though. If not for the work gloves, I wouldn’t be able to bear the blisters by now.” He pulled out the pair he’d tucked in his back pocket and waved them.
“You just need to develop some calluses. Badge of honor around here.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jace shrugged. “I have to keep busy, or I’ll go crazy. This waiting is killing me. I can’t believe you and Mrs. Merrill already have your results, and we’re still waiting for the results on our repeat test.”
“They should be coming at any time now, right?”