My heart burst with happiness. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I ran to meet them, and the three of us went in for a group hug.
I passed right through them, like they were nothing more than air.
Skidding to a stop, I turned around to face them. They looked just as surprised by my inability to touch them as I felt.
“The living don’t belong in the Underworld,” Bridget said simply. “You’re here, but you’re not. Like a ghost trapped between worlds, not existing fully in one or the other.”
I wiped away tears and reached down to pick a flower. My fingers slipped through it, too.
Hopefully this got Julian’s ridiculous idea of staying here out of his mind.
I glanced at him to see his reaction. But he was looking around the garden, like he was searching for something.
Bridget pointed to a path that wound around a stately fountain. “Your dad’s in a gazebo at the end of that path,” she said to him. “I let him know you were coming.”
Julian stilled. “I’ll meet you back here,” he said, and he was gone before I could blink.
With him gone, Cassia, Bridget, and I sat down in the grass. I was able to sit down, but the grass passed through me, like everything else I’d tried to touch in Elysium.
Once we were settled, guilt descended on me like a ton of bricks. Because why was Bridget happy to see me? I’d killed her. She should hate me. I’d hate me, if I were her.
“Bridget,” I said, her name catching in my throat. “I’m so, so sorry. You went for Julian, and the next thing I knew…”
“You killed me,” she said seriously.
My breath caught in my chest. “I didn’t want to.” I sniffed, the tears starting again. “Especially not like that.” I shuddered at the memory of Bridget’s seizing when I’d struck her with that bolt of lightning, at her skin blackening, her face twisted in pain.
Cassia reached forward to comfort me, but of course, her hand went through me.
“You remember what I told you, right?” Bridget asked. “In the arena, before I died?”
How could I forget?
“You told me I needed to win,” I said. “That the fate of the world depended on it.”
“At Octavia’s selection ceremony, the moment she called my name with yours and Julian’s, I knew I’d die that week,” she said. “I came to peace with it the night before the arena fight.”
“But you changed your mind,” I said. “You tried to kill Julian. You tried to save yourself.”
She smiled sadly. “I wasn’t trying to save myself,” she said.
“Then why…?”
“Right before I tried killing Julian, I had a vision,” she said, and I nodded, since of course I remembered. “In the vision, I saw that by putting Julian’s life in danger, you would be the one who killed me.”
“But it was worse for you that way,” I said. “Julian would have made it quick. Painless.”
“It was what needed to be done,” she said. “Before that day, you couldn’t call a bolt of lightning from the sky. With Julian’s life on the line, you did it on instinct. If he’d killed me instead of you, it would have taken you much longer to strengthen your magic. But you needed to get there that week. Otherwise, you and Julian would likely be dead right now.”
A chill swept through me. “What do we have to do that’s so important that you sacrificed your life for it?” I asked.
“You need to discover that answer for yourself,” she said. “I chose to sacrifice myself for the sake of the Otherworld, and I don’t regret it. I’ve been waiting for us to meet again so I could set your mind at ease.”
“You knew exactly when we’d arrive,” I realized. “I take it you still have your gift?”
Cassia aimed her green magic at a group of colorful flowers next to her. They rose at once, and they wove themselves into a crown that floated onto her head. She looked like a true faerie princess, especially in her green dress decorated with gold stitching, like the royal fae wore in the Otherworld.
“You seem happy here,” I said, although I couldn’t help feeling sad. This might be the last time we ever saw each other.
“I am,” she said. “I’ve been reunited with my grandparents. I have a family now. It’s just…” She lowered her eyes and played with the blades of grass in front of her.
I’d seen that look before.
“It’s Felix.” Anger blazed in my chest. “That little piece of—” I cut myself off, since not even the worst words could suffice.
Cassia held a hand up to stop me. “I know what he did,” she said. “We all know what he did. In Elysium, we have access to every book ever written, every song ever composed… and every recording ever made.”
“You watched the Games,” I said.
“I did.” She nodded. “I’m glad I did. When he arrived here, I knew not to go to him. I was emotionally prepared when he didn’t seek me out. And luckily, I’ll never run into him, because he didn’t stay here for long.”
“Where did he go?” I asked.
“He chose to be reborn,” Bridget said simply. “They all did, except for Pierce and Emmet. The two of them are so in love it’s ridiculous.”
“But I thought the Underworld was a one-way trip.”
“It’s a one-way trip to the other realms in the Underworld,” she said. “There are always those rare few who sneak out or figure out a way around the rules, but Elysium is different. At any time while we’re here, we can choose to be reborn. Our soul will still be ours, but we won’t remember anything from before.”
“Why would anyone choose that?” I gazed around the beautiful garden. Everyone looked so happy. At peace. “Elysium’s a paradise.”
“Lots of reasons.” Cassia shrugged. “Some feel like their life was cut short. That’s why most chosen champions choose to be reborn. Then there are those who regret not doing more while they were alive. Others do it out of boredom. Elysium is lovely, but being here isn’t as exciting as truly living.”
Her eyes shined when she said that last part.
Was that what others thought, or was it what she thought?
“Also, if we live three lives that land us in Elysium, we get to go to the Isle of the Blessed,” Bridget added. “A place even more wonderful than here.”
“What’s it like there?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “But I’m hoping to find out.”
“You’re going to be reborn.”
“I am.” She smiled. “I only stayed until now to speak to you. You needed to be relieved from the burden of my death.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that,” I said sadly.
“I hope you will,” she said. “For my sake. You’re a good person, Selena. Never forget that.”
“I’m trying.” I went to pick at a blade of grass, but my fingers passed through it. “The Games didn’t make it easy. And now there’s Julian…” I looked out to the path he’d taken to see his dad.
“What about Julian?” Cassia asked.
I checked again to make sure he wasn’t on his way back. The coast was clear. “He’s been acting strange recently.” I said. “Distant. I’ve asked him about it, and he’s tried to explain it away, but I don’t feel like he’s being honest with me. He says he loves me, but…” I shrugged, since what more was there to say? “I wish he trusted me enough to tell me what’s going on with him.”
“He loves you,” Cassia said, sounding sure of it. “Like I said, I watched the Games. He loves you more than anything.”
“I know,” I said, since I did believe he loved me. “But he’s pushing me away. It hurts, and I hate it.” I turned to Bridget, since she was the one who could see the future. “Do you have any idea what’s going on with him?”
“If I did, it wouldn’t be my place to tell,” she said.
“So you know.” Otherwise, she wouldn’t have avoided the question.
“I know that he loves you,” she said. “And that wh
atever’s going on with him, you should never doubt his love.”
I frowned, since it wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. “Is there anything more you can tell me?” I asked. “Is there something I need to ask him? Something I can do to get him to open up to me?”
“He’ll tell you in his own time.” She stood and brushed the grass off her dress. Cassia and I stood as well. “But now, I’m ready to continue on my journey, wherever that may take me.”
“You’re leaving Elysium already?”
“Yes.” She brightened. “Hopefully I’ll end up in a realm that’s not the Otherworld, and be granted more freedom than I had as a half-blood servant. But I’ll make the best of whatever the gods have in store for me.”
“Could you end up on Earth?” I asked.
“I could,” she said, and from the knowing glint in her eyes, I could have sworn she knew where her next life would take her. “But wherever I end up, I hope our souls cross paths again.”
She gave me one last smile, turned around, and held her head high as she walked out of the garden.
25
Selena
Cassia and I made ourselves comfortable at a bench in front of a fountain. It was in sight of where Julian would be meeting us, so we could see when he returned. The little courtyard bloomed with flowers, and colorful butterflies flew around it. It was earthy, beautiful, and serene, just like Cassia.
Talking with her felt natural, but it was also sad. Because even if she chose to stay in Elysium, I was immortal now. It could be centuries before we saw each other again.
Leaving her would feel like she’d died all over again. But I was grateful to get to say goodbye here, knowing she was safe, whole, and happy.
At least, I hoped she was happy.
“Are you going to stay in Elysium?” I asked. “Or are you going to be reborn, like the others?”
“I’m not sure.” She picked at her fingernails—a habit she’d had while alive, too. “I do feel like my life was ended too early. I always wanted a family of my own, but now I’ll never get that.”
“You could, if you were reborn.” It saddened me to say, because then I’d never see her again. At least, not this version of her.
But I wanted her to be happy. She deserved it.
“I know,” she said. “But I wouldn’t be me.” Her eyes pleaded with me, like she thought I might have an answer.
I wished I did.
“Your soul would still be yours,” I repeated what Bridget had told us. “You might not have your memories, but at your core, you’d still be you.”
“Everyone says that.” She shrugged and stared emptily at the fountain. “But I don’t know. Giving up who I am now doesn’t feel right.”
We sat there in silence. I couldn’t imagine how difficult the choice was for her.
If our positions were reversed, would I give up my memories, not knowing what kind of life I’d be reborn into? Or would I stay in Elysium, where I’d be taken care of and not have to worry about anything for all eternity?
I didn’t know.
But there’d been something else Bridget had said…
“Maybe we can get around the rules.” I leaned forward, excited just from thinking about it. “What if we can get you out of here, and you can still be you?”
She stilled, her green eyes widening. “Is that possible?” she asked.
“Bridget said it’s happened before. So maybe we can figure out a way. Remember, my mom’s an angel.”
“Really?” She chuckled. “I didn’t know.”
“Is that sarcasm?” I smiled, since this was a side of Cassia I hadn’t seen during our time together in the Games.
“You only talked about your family all the time while we were hanging out in the villa.” She smiled back at me, but my heart panged with another wave of sadness. Because the Cassia who wasn’t weighed down by the pressure of the Games might not be someone I’d ever get to know.
Maybe. But maybe not.
“My mom’s one of the most powerful supernaturals on Earth,” I continued. “She’s allied with supernatural leaders all over the world. If anyone can figure out how to get you out of here, it’s her.”
But as I spoke, my confidence waned. Because throughout the Games, I’d believed my parents would send the Nephilim army to the Otherworld to rescue me.
Clearly, that hadn’t happened.
Maybe my parents weren’t as all-powerful as I thought they were.
Cassia must have seen the doubt on my face, because her eyes brimmed with sadness. “It’s okay if it’s not possible,” she said. “Maybe someday I’ll feel ready to be reborn, or maybe not. But it’s not your responsibility to save me, Selena.”
My stomach twisted at how awful she made it sound. “It’s not like that,” I said. “I’m trying to help you. That’s what friends do.”
She shrugged, saying nothing.
“I tried to help you in the Games, and I failed.” I reached for her hand, but of course my fingers passed through it. “Please, let me help you with this.”
Her eyes sharpened, and she pulled her hand onto her lap. “You didn’t fail in the Games,” she said. “You stayed true to our alliance, and to our friendship. There was nothing more you could have done. All but one of us was always going to die.”
“But I found a loophole,” I reminded her. “Julian and I both survived. Maybe I can figure out a loophole that’ll get you out of here, so you can live with me and my family on Avalon.”
“It’s not possible,” she said quickly.
“But let’s say it were. Is that something you’d want?” I watched her carefully, and I could tell from the far-off look in her eyes that she was thinking about it.
“Yes,” she finally said. “I suppose I would.”
“Then it’s settled. If there’s a loophole, I’m going to try as hard as I can to find it.”
A few more beats of silence.
Then, she smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “But if you can’t find one, promise me you won’t blame yourself.”
“I promise.”
She nodded and looked out over my shoulder. “Julian’s heading our way,” she said, standing and straightening her dress.
I stood as well, my heart pounding as he approached.
His eyes were as hard and distant as ever.
My heart dropped, although I supposed I should have expected it. Seeing his father couldn’t have been easy.
But now wasn’t the time to ask him about it. I’d wait until we were alone.
Cassia looked back and forth between the two of us. “Now that you’re both here, it’s time for me to bring you to Queen Gloriana,” she said.
“You know the queen?” I asked.
“Don’t look so surprised,” she said, and I wondered what other famous people she knew here. “She watches the Faerie Games every year. She greets each champion when they arrive at Elysium, and apologizes on behalf of the Otherworld for how horribly they’ve been treated.”
“They actually accept that?” Julian asked.
“Typically, not at first,” she said. “But Gloriana’s devoted herself to assisting all chosen champions as we transition to life in Elysium. She’s vowed to only be reborn once the Games are stopped. It doesn’t take long to warm up to her.”
“Now you’re on first-name basis with her?” I smiled, since the surprises kept on coming.
“Everyone’s equal in Elysium,” she explained. “Royal titles are for the living—not for the dead. You don’t need rulers when you live in paradise.”
Julian bounced on his heels and looked around anxiously. “How long will it take to reach her?” he asked.
“Just close your eyes and think of her,” Cassia said. “If the person you’re thinking of welcomes your arrival, you’ll appear on a path that will lead you to them. And I assure you, Gloriana welcomes your arrival. She would have been waiting for you on the dock if Bridget hadn’t told her that we first needed to speak with you privately. N
ow, are you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, and Julian gave me an encouraging smile that made my heart flutter, just like it had the first time I’d seen him at the end of Torrence’s driveway in LA. “Let’s do this.”
26
Selena
We reappeared at the bottom of a marble staircase that led up to what looked like Cinderella’s palace. But this palace was covered with bright green vines and flowers, and it sat on a raised island in the middle of a sparkling blue lake.
“I thought you didn’t have royalty here?” I asked Cassia.
“We all live in homes that suit us,” she said. “For Gloriana, it’s this. I live here, too, since for now, living with Gloriana is where I need to be.”
We walked up the steps, Cassia leading the way. The double doors at the top were at least four times our height.
Cassia knocked, and the doors opened.
A slender woman with porcelain skin and strawberry-blonde hair that fell down to her waist smiled at us. She wore a long, green velvet dress that matched her eyes, and a golden crown on her head. Her wings were the same gold as the crown.
“Selena. Julian,” she greeted us, her voice warm and welcoming. “I’m Gloriana. In the universe of the living, I was the First Queen of the Otherworld.”
Julian stared at her, at a loss for words.
I lowered myself into a curtsy. “Your Highness,” I said, my etiquette training from Avalon immediately kicking in.
“Please, rise,” she said, and I did as she asked. “Call me Gloriana. There are no royal titles in Elysium. We’re all equal here.”
“I already told them,” Cassia said, and then she turned to us. “It took me a bit to get used to it, too.”
The Queen—Gloriana—opened the doors wider. “Come in,” she said, and we stepped inside.
The foyer was breathtaking, with its twisted columns, wooden floors, and grand staircase that curved around the circular wall. Bright green vines with colorful flowers grew around the railings and columns, and tall, paned windows provided a stunning view of the mountains outside.
Cassia looked perfectly at home, but Julian and I took a few seconds to gaze around.
The Faerie Wand (Dark World: The Faerie Games Book 4) Page 10