“Am I part of the gang now?” I asked jokingly.
“Welcome to the family, Jenn,” the nameless guy said. “If you aren’t hitching your way out today, you should stay for the party,” he said.
“Party?” I asked.
“Think you can help Ryan buy the booze?” Asher asked. “He always fucks it up.” I smiled, not really being able to help it. I felt like a kid, happy because the cool kids were letting me sit with them. It was dumb, but it was exhilarating. I would have never done that. Never. But then I had, and it had turned out to be the perfect icebreaker.
I said I would, and as the sun went down, I watched the tattoo shop fill slowly with fewer people who wanted tattoos and more who were there to get trashed. The crowd was a lot of people like them, I guess; tattoos, dyed hair… very cool people. No sweatshirts or dirty sneakers in sight.
I felt the earlier confidence I’d gained feeling like part of a crew slowly dissipate, till I was plain old Lissa, wall-flowering at yet another party. I hung out in an area that had been occupied by a massage chair, watching the activity swirl around me without letting it touch me. I hadn’t gotten a drink. I didn’t know where I was going to sleep that night and I figured being drunk wasn’t a good way to puzzle that out. Ryan had said I could crash at his place, but as drunk as he was getting, I wanted to see if I had any other options.
The shop’s artists were easy to spot in the throng. Mal was chatting with a group of people. The two guys I didn’t know were on the couch with gorgeous tattooed women. I had watched one of them bounce up to Asher and shove her tongue in his mouth, which had been a little unsettling to watch, but I’d lost track of him since. Ryan, I could still see. He was several shots deep, laughing very loudly with a few other people.
“Once he gets going, he’s hard to stop,” I heard a voice say behind me.
I looked up and saw him. Asher. The tattoos were the only indication that he worked at a tattoo shop, besides the actual fact that he did. I wouldn’t guess that looking at him. I’d guess personal trainer, pro-wrestler or even male stripper before I guessed that. He was burly. Tall and wide across the shoulders. The muscle was thick along his arms, the ink hid some of the definition, but not the size.
His hair was dirty blond, longish on top with shorter sides and back. His face was very… nice. Strong lines in his jaw, nose, and cheekbones, but soft-looking, nice lips and striking hazel eyes and a light tan like the color of water with honey in it.
“That’s okay. Let him have his fun,” I said shrugging. “He shouldn’t let me keep him.”
“Oh really? Ryan’s going to be bummed you don’t want to go home with him,” he said. I prickled. What had they said about me? I suppose it’s normal to talk about girls with your guy friends, but I didn’t like knowing about it.
“Did he say that?” I blurted out.
“He didn’t have to say anything. I can tell. Don’t feel bad. He needs to strike out sometimes. Keeps him humble.”
“Is that like a code you live by?” I asked.
“No. A lot of girls tend to know better.”
“Better than to what?”
“Turn me down. The offer will never come again. They know they should take it while they have a chance,” he said. I giggled. I admired his self-assurance, I guess. That and the way he looked—he didn’t seem like the type who struggled to get women. Yeah, what he was saying was ridiculous, but he didn’t make me doubt however that he was serious.
“I doubt the loss is that painful,” I said.
“It’s devastating. Consider this a warning.” I looked up into his eyes. He was smirking. It sounded like a challenge, like before with the piercing.
“I’m sure I’ll survive,” I said.
“I didn’t even make you an offer yet,” he said, grinning.
“Are you holding back because your friend saw me first?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter who saw you first. It’s who you pick. Come home with me,” he said. I laughed. It had probably worked before, but part of me just wanted to see what he would do when I turned him down.
“Ryan’s actually more my type,” I said.
“Not for that,” he laughed. “Look, I have a couch. I’ve had other people crash there before; they say it’s alright.” I nodded, smiling. I didn’t want to feel bad that I had misinterpreted what he meant because I was almost sure that I hadn’t. He had been coming onto me. I know he had been.
“You’re not going to stay?” I asked.
“Have you ever sat for a four-hour-long tattoo with a hangover?” he asked. I shook my head. “I’m tattooing a big piece tomorrow. Can’t show up sloppy. If you’re done, we can head out now.”
“Thanks,” I said. I went back to his office to grab my duffel and followed him out to his car. The ride to his house was quiet. He didn’t ask me anything which was sort of surprising after how forward he had been earlier. I didn’t need him to be chatty; I just was surprised that he wasn’t. I hadn’t spent as much time with him as I had with Ryan, but he was the one out of the two that I wanted to know more about. If nothing else, just about tattooing.
He lived in an apartment building in the city. It was tall and glassy, very different from the place I lived back home. I had never seen the appeal of living on top of other people, especially since I had spent college doing just that in the dorms. Maybe it was because there was just more space up there. LA seemed, for the hours that I had been here, crowded. A lot of people and nowhere really to put them, so you stacked them up like Legos.
We rode up in the elevator, and he opened the door to his apartment, letting me walk in before he did. The first thing I saw was nothing because the lights were still out. He flicked them on, and I saw a surprisingly spacious, sparsely furnished apartment.
“There’s food in the fridge if you want anything. I’m just down the hall,” he said, pointing down the short hallway where I guessed he’d be sleeping.
I settled back into the couch. The room was dark, but I could still see because of the light coming in from outside. I thought about Asher in the bedroom, not in a weird way, just in the fact that he was in there. I hadn’t had the chance to really talk to him as much as Ryan. He seemed a little surly. Sort of mad, maybe? I hoped he didn’t mind—like really didn’t mind—instead of just saying it was okay if it wasn’t.
He didn’t seem like the sort of guy who wouldn’t tell you what he felt though—if he felt it—so maybe I was worrying for nothing. In the morning, I’d leave, and if he didn’t want me in his house, I didn’t have to be here anymore. I felt myself go in and out of sleep for what felt like a few minutes but must have been a couple of hours.
I woke up hearing the door unlock, and someone come inside. Had Asher left during the night and just gotten back? I would have heard him if he had. I was curious instead of scared, which I realized, and was a little mad about. I didn’t want to not feel safe, but I wanted to remain cautious. I was still in a house with a man I didn’t know, and someone had just walked in. They unlocked the door, though, which meant they had keys. It couldn’t be that bad if they had a key. That had to mean at least Asher knew who they were. There was some fumbling, and some cursing like whoever it was had lost something before the lights came on and I could see what was happening.
It was Ryan. I watched him stumble inside and look around the room a little disoriented before he saw me.
“Ryan, what are you doing here?” I asked, sitting up a little.
“I live here,” he said walking up to the couch.
“You do?” I asked. Hadn’t he told me I could crash at his place? “Asher didn’t say you’d be coming. I thought this was a one-bedroom place.”
“It is.”
“So where do you sleep?” I said, not getting into it.
“Right here, actually,” he said looking down at me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll move.”
“Don’t do that. This is fine,” he said.
“I should take the
other one—it’s smaller.”
“No. We can share,” he said.
It only took me a split second to realize what he had said to me. The blanket on top of me disappeared, and he pinned my arm to the back of the couch, pushing his way between my legs. I tried to use my other arm to push him away, but his hand grasped my wrist painfully and held it above my head.
“Hold still,” he growled. He pushed forward with his hips so I didn’t have any wiggle room. My legs almost pushed down to my chest. I could feel what I knew was his erection pressing against me. I tried to free myself, thrashing underneath him. “Yeah, keep going baby,” he said lewdly, “Feels good when you grind up on my cock.” I started crying. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t happening. I felt trapped and helpless, terrified of what he was going to do to me.
I did the only thing I still could.
I screamed.
5
Asher
I opened my eyes and waited for them to adjust to the dark.
Was I dreaming? I waited to hear it again. I sat up and looked around. I reached for my phone to tell me the time. The bright screen hurt my eyes. It was after midnight. I could have sworn I heard something. Was Ryan here? Did he have the television on or something?
I heard it again, clearly this time. There was no way of mistaking what that sound was. I had had years of practice. All at once I remembered everything that had happened that day. Fuck… Jenny.
I ran into the living room. All I could see was Ryan on the couch. The couch where Jenny had been sleeping. Was it her? I heard another scream.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch,” Ryan snarled. I was across the room before I knew what I thought was happening was actually happening. He was on top of her, between her legs, holding her arms down above her head so she couldn’t move them, pinning her body down with the weight of his. One of his hands clumsily tried to close around her neck. Her face was red and tear stained, scared shitless.
“What the fuck man, what are you doing to her?” I yelled. I grabbed him and pulled him off of her. She slid from the couch onto the floor. I dragged Ryan away so I was between them.
“Fuck, Ash. We were just about to fuck.” The booze was strong on his breath. He was shit-faced.
“Do girls usually scream when you touch them?” I asked, pushing him. I looked at Jenny. She was on the ground crying. She’d rolled herself up like a ball. The fly of his jeans was undone. The dots connected, and I felt my whole body go up in flames. “You son of a bitch,” I said. I lunged at him pushing him backward, staggering and hitting the wall. “What the fuck did you do to her?” I snarled.
“Nothing, since you fucking showed up,” he said. He was looking over my shoulder at her. It fucking enraged me. I pushed him again so he’d stop.
“Get out,” I said simply.
“Come on man, my ride already left,” he said like it was my problem.
“I don’t care, Ryan. Get out. I’m not making her sleep under the same roof as you after that.”
“Then kick her out,” he said. I blinked because I couldn’t believe it. Kick her out? Because I hadn’t walked in on her screaming while he was on top of her, and not in a good way?
“You just tried to rape that girl. Do you really think I want you in my house?”
“She wanted it, Ash. She’s been flirting with me all day. She just doesn’t want you to think she’s easy.” It was like that feeling when you’re a kid and you find out Santa Claus isn’t real. I had known this loser for years. I had called him my friend for that long and never in that time had I ever thought he could do something like that. Who the fuck was he?
“Leave. Don’t make me say it again or I will fucking make you,” I threatened. Ryan was a big guy. I knew he had weight on me, but he was a bodybuilder; he wasn’t strong. He only looked strong, and he couldn’t fight for shit, I knew that.
“What? You want to fuck her? You should have just said something, bro. You know I don’t mind sharing.” My fist cracked against his nose making him stagger backward, slamming pretty hard against the closed front door. He touched his nose and winced. He looked at his bloodied hand and glared at me, furious. He made some of his money modeling. Might have fucked that up for him a little bit.
He lunged at me, trying to grab my shoulders. I landed a punch on his stomach, making him double over. I kneed him in the gut, making him go down, kicking him mostly out of spite. I got around him quickly and unlocked the door. When I turned around, he was getting up. There was no way he was going back into the house. There was no way he was getting near Jenny. I grabbed him around the neck, getting my arm around him so he couldn’t shake me off. I tightened my hold enough to make him grab my arm and try to loosen it. If I tightened my arm around his neck hard enough and long enough, he could lose consciousness.
As much as I wanted to fuck him up, I wanted him out of my house more than that. I turned and shoved him, and he fell forward without the door to break his fall. I stood in the open doorway. He was pulling himself up slowly like he was hurting. Good.
“Keys,” I said.
“What?” he demanded, turning.
“Your fucking keys, asshole. Give them to me.” He called me a slew of names pulling his house keys out of his pocket and tossing them on the floor in front of him. I grabbed them and shut the door, locking it. He would not be getting those back. I had given him a copy when he’d first moved here and didn’t have his own place. He’d kept them and just let himself in when he came over. It had never been a big deal before, but I wasn’t about to give him the option to come and go the way he wanted when Jenny was with me. I walked back through to the living room spotting her right where I’d left her.
“Jenny, are you okay?” I asked, walking up to her. She recoiled and cried harder like she was scared I’d attack her next. I backed off and put my arms up. She was still all balled up; I couldn’t tell if she had any injuries. She couldn’t tell me whether I’d come too late, and he had actually done anything. “Jenny, it’s okay. I swear. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She looked at me, and I saw pure, unadulterated fear in her face. She was terrified. I backed up some more to give her space. I wasn’t getting near her if she would scream like that again. I didn’t care if the neighbors heard. I just wanted her to know she was okay.
“Where is he?” she whispered.
“He’s gone. He’s not coming back. Let me call the hospital.”
“No!” she said suddenly. “No, nothing happened. He didn’t… it’s fine.”
“Then I’m calling the cops,” I said. She shook her head.
“Nothing happened. They won’t do anything. I don’t want you to call anyone. It’s fine.”
“Jenny, it’s not fucking fine. He tried to rape you.”
“But he didn’t. Don’t call anybody, please,” she said. She cleared her throat and wiped her face with her hands. “I’m sorry for this,” she said. I stared at her because it was happening again. I was in the Twilight Zone. First Ryan who I thought I knew turns out to be a rapist, and now this chick, the girl he almost raped is sitting there apologizing to me for getting attacked. Had everybody around me lost their fucking mind?
“Ryan attacked you. You can’t apologize for that.” I took a few steps forward, and she didn’t panic.
“I mean for being here. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t come in your shop today. I’m sorry. I’ll be gone in the morning.”
“Gone where? You said you had nowhere to go.”
“I can’t stay.”
“Why not? Nobody’s chasing you,” I challenged. “Just stay here tonight, and we’ll talk tomorrow.” She was shaking her head.
“I’ve already bothered you all day. It’s too much.”
“Don’t argue with me Jenny, stay the fuck here. I’m not going to let you leave,” I said, exasperated. She sighed deeply. She was still on the ground.
“He’s your friend,” she said. It didn’t sound like an accusation, but it felt lik
e one. Did she think I was guilty by association? We might have been friends, but I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t try to kill him if I saw him again. Was she trying to say she was worried about him, or she didn’t think it was fair that I had kicked him out? Was she going to stay there on the ground making excuses for him or let me help her? Why did girls do that? If a guy was a disgusting animal, then that was what the fuck he was.
“Not anymore. Come on. You can take my room. There’s a lock on the door. I’ll sleep here.” I walked up to her, and she didn’t retreat. I held a hand out to help her up. She looked at it like she didn’t think she should take it before she finally did. She had soft hands. They felt small in mine. “This way,” I said, pulling her behind me. She pulled back, refusing to move. Fuck. Not this again. I looked back at her.
“Where will you sleep?” she asked.
“Here.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” she said quietly. She was still holding onto my hand. I let the thought of spending the night in my bed with her cross my mind for about half a second before I forgot about it. Shorter than that even. I wasn’t a monster. After what had just happened? What can I say? I was weak. Beautiful girl in my bed? Fuck yeah, that excited me. She was the only girl I’d been with at that hour of the night in my house who I hadn’t fucked. I wasn’t one to cuddle, but I had her hand in mine, and I wasn’t one for hand holding either.
“What do you want?” I asked her.
“Can you stay here with me,” she said. Here? Again, I pushed the visual of the two of us together away because there was no way that was what she meant. I needed to get a hold of myself; this was serious.
“Okay, let me just grab a pillow,” I said. I walked back into my room. What a night. What the fuck. I’d go to sleep and then wake up and then everything would be normal again. I’d wake up, and my house would be empty, I’d meet Ryan at work, he’d be the guy who hadn’t tried to rape someone in my house again. Yeah, and I’d wake up to a Swedish girl blowing me and a million dollars in ones in my bathtub. What the hell was going on? Whatever. I still had to go to bed, I mean, the couch.
Asher (Heartbreakers & Troublemakers Book 6) Page 4