by Cao Xueqin
Bao-yu was still sobbing pitifully, but Aroma and Ripple dragged him away, wiping the tears from his eyes and chiding him with a description of the anxiety his grandmother was suffering on his account. In the end he gave in and followed them back.
Aroma could imagine only too vividly how worried Grandmother Jia would be and she took Bao-yu straight back to the old lady’s apartment. None of the party had gone home; they were all there waiting for Bao-yu’s return.
‘Aroma!’ cried Grandmother Jia severely. ‘I thought you were a sensible girl. That’s why I’ve always trusted you with Bao-yu. How could you take him into the Garden? He’s only just beginning to get better, and a nasty experience might set him right back. And then where would we be?’
Aroma did not dare say a word in her own defence, but hung her head in shame. Bao-chai for her part was deeply shocked to see how pale Bao-yu seemed on his return. Bao-yu refused to watch Aroma take the blame, and spoke up on her behalf:
‘When we went in it was broad daylight, and there was nothing to be afraid of. I haven’t been for a walk in the Garden for such a long time, and today I’d had a little wine at the party and was feeling in the mood for a stroll. Why did you think I would have a nasty experience?’
At this last remark of his, Xi-feng, who had herself been so badly scared in the Garden, shuddered and said:
‘Bao, you shouldn’t be so reckless!’
‘It’s not recklessness,’ countered Xiang-yun. ‘It’s devotion. He probably went there to find the Hibiscus Fairy. Or maybe it was some other sprite …’
Bao-yu made no reply. Lady Wang seemed too agitated to speak.
‘So there wasn’t anything frightening in the Garden then?’ asked Grandmother Jia. ‘Well, don’t let’s talk about it any more. But in future, if you want to go walking there, you must at least take more people with you. If it hadn’t been for this little escapade of yours, our guests would have left long ago. Off you go now, all of you, and have a good night’s sleep. Come back early in the morning. Tomorrow I shall make up for today and see that you enjoy yourselves properly. And this time we won’t let him spoil things!’
They all said goodbye to Grandmother Jia and the party broke up. Aunt Xue stayed the night with Lady Wang, Xiang-yun with Grandmother Jia, while Ying-chun went to stay with Xi-chun. The others all returned to their respective apartments.
When Bao-yu reached home, he was still a picture of misery. Bao-chai knew the cause of his endless sighing, and deliberately turned a deaf ear to it. She was concerned however that if he continued like this he might fall into a serious depression and revert to his old idiocy. Going into the inner room she called Aroma aside and questioned her in detail about Bao-yu’s excursion in the Garden. To learn of Aroma’s response, you must read the next chapter.
Chapter 109
Fivey shares a vigil, and receives affection meant for another
Ying-chun pays her debt to fate, and returns to the Realm of Primordial Truth
Bao-chai, having extracted from Aroma a detailed account of what had happened in the Garden, feared that a fresh bout of grief might indeed cause Bao-yu to fall ill again. In an attempt to avert this she deliberately alluded to Dai-yu’s dying moments, in the course of an apparently casual conversation with Aroma.
‘Human beings have certain feelings towards each other while they are alive,’ she went on to say. ‘But after death a person enters a separate realm and becomes a different entity. Someone still alive may continue to be infatuated, but the dead person, the object of that feeling, will be quite oblivious of it. Besides, if Miss Lin has become a fairy, she must take a very dim view of lesser mortals and would hardly deign to mingle with them on this earthly plane. To start imagining such things is to invite trouble and to lay oneself open to possession by evil spirits.’
She was talking to Aroma, but her words were clearly intended for Bao-yu’s ears. Aroma realized this and replied in an appropriate vein:
‘Of course she’s not a fairy. It’s out of the question. If Miss Lin’s spirit were haunting the Garden, why has she never once appeared to me in a dream? She and I were good friends, after all …’
Bao-yu was listening from outside, and considered this idea of Aroma’s carefully:
‘It is strange! Since I first learned of Cousin Lin’s death, I’ve thought of her constantly, every day. But why have I never once seen her in my dreams? It must be because she’s in Heaven, and thinks me a dull earthling incapable of communicating on her exalted level. I know what I’ll do: tonight I’ll sleep here in the outer room. Perhaps since I’ve just returned from the Garden she will be more aware of my feelings, and will condescend to visit me this once in a dream. If she does, I must be sure to ask her where she has gone, so that I can make offerings to her regularly. If on the other hand it turns out that she is too pure for even a single dream-visit, then I must try to put her out of my mind once and for all.’
Having made this resolution, he said aloud:
‘I shall sleep out here tonight. You needn’t be bothered on my account.’
Bao-chai did not try to oppose him directly, but cautioned him:
‘Don’t go having any foolish ideas. Didn’t you see how worried Mother was when she heard that you’d been in the Garden? She could hardly speak for anxiety! You must be sensible and look after yourself. If you go and do something silly again and Grandmother finds out, it’s us she’ll blame for not taking proper care of you.’
‘I wasn’t being serious,’ said Bao-yu. ‘I’d just like to sit here for a while and then come in. You must be tired too. Go to sleep, don’t wait up for me.’
Bao-chai thought he would probably come in later, and said with an air of affected nonchalance:
‘Very well then. I’m going to sleep. Aroma can look after you.’ This was exactly what Bao-yu had been hoping for. He waited until Bao-chai had gone to bed and then told Aroma and Musk to lay out his bedding. He sent one or the other of them in at frequent intervals to see if ‘Mrs Bao was asleep yet or not’. Bao-chai pretended to be asleep, although in fact she was wide awake and remained so the entire night. Bao-yu was quite taken in, and said to Aroma:
‘You and Musk can both go and sleep now. I’m not upset any more. If you don’t believe me, stay here with me until I fall asleep and then go in. But I don’t want to be disturbed later on in the night.’
Aroma stayed for a while, saw him into bed and made him some tea. Then she closed the door and retired to the inner room, where after finishing a few odd jobs, she lay down. She too only feigned sleep, and lay awake, ready to jump up if Bao-yu needed her outside.
Bao-yu dismissed the two serving-women on night-watch; and when he was alone he sat up very quietly, said a silent prayer and then lay down again. At first sleep eluded him, but gradually his mind grew more peaceful and eventually he nodded off and slept soundly the whole night through. When he awoke it was already broad daylight. He rubbed his eyes, sat up in bed and reflected. He had had a dreamless sleep. Nothing whatsoever had occurred. He sighed.
‘As the poet once said,’ he mused out loud:
Since death’s parting, slow and sad the year has been;
Even in my dreams, her soul has not been seen.’
Bao-chai, who in contrast to Bao-yu had not slept a wink all night, heard him recite these well-known lines from Bo Ju-yi’s ‘Song of Enduring Grief’, and remarked:
‘What a singularly inept quotation! If Cousin Lin were alive, she’d be cross with you again, for comparing her to Yang Gui-fei!’
Bao-yu was embarrassed that she had overheard him. He climbed out of bed and walked sheepishly into the inner room.
‘I meant to come in last night,’ he said. ‘But somehow I lay down and fell fast asleep.’
‘What difference does it make to me whether you came in or not?’ said Bao-chai.
Aroma had not slept either, and hearing the two of them talking she hurried over at once to pour tea. At that moment a junior maid from Grandmother Ji
a’s arrived.
‘Did Mr Bao have a good night’s sleep?’ she asked. ‘If so, then will he and Mrs Bao please call on Her Old Ladyship as soon as they have completed their toilet?’
‘Please inform Her Old Ladyship,’ replied Bao-chai, ‘that Mr Bao slept extremely well and that we will both call presently.’
The maid departed with this message.
Bao-chai completed her toilet at once, and accompanied by Oriole and Aroma she went first to pay her respects to Grandmother Jia. Then she called politely on Lady Wang and Xi-feng, before returning once more to Grandmother Jia’s. Her mother had by now arrived.
‘How was Bao-yu last night?’ was what everyone wanted to know.
‘He went to sleep as soon as we got home,’ Bao-chai informed them. ‘He was fine.’
They were relieved to hear this and the conversation passed to various other topics. Presently a junior maid came in to say that Ying-chun was going home:
‘Mr Sun sent someone to Lady Xing’s to complain, and Her Ladyship sent word to Miss Xi-chun to say that Miss Ying-chun must not be detained, but should return at once. Miss Ying-chun is at Her Ladyship’s now. She’s very upset, and is crying. She will be coming over presently to say goodbye, ma’am.’
Grandmother Jia was greatly distressed.
‘Why did fate have to bring together a sweet child like Ying and this monster Sun! She’ll have to bear with it for the rest of her life. There’s no way out for her, poor girl!’
As they were speaking, Ying-chun came in, her cheeks wet with tears. The family were still supposed to be celebrating Bao-chai’s birthday, so she did her best not to cry as she made her farewells. Grandmother Jia knew that Ying-chun must not delay her departure and she did not try to detain her.
‘You’d best be on your way,’ she said. ‘But please, however bad things are, try to look on the bright side! He’s what he is and there is little you can do to change him. In a few days I’ll send someone to invite you home again for another visit.’
‘Oh Grannie!’ sobbed Ying-chun. ‘You’ve always loved me! But it’s no good! I know I’ll never come home again!’
She could contain herself no longer, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
‘Come along now!’
They all did what they could to cheer her up: ‘Of course you’ll come again! You should be thankful you’re not at the other end of the world, like poor Tan. She has almost no chance whatsoever of coming home.’
This mention of Tan-chun only brought more tears to the eyes of Grandmother Jia and the ladies. Once again, the fact that it was Bao-chai’s birthday induced one of them to try and strike a more optimistic note:
‘Who knows: if peace is restored on the coast, Tan’s father-in-law may be transferred back to the capital, and then we shall be able to see her!’
‘Of course!’ everyone concurred.
Ying-chun had now to contain her grief as best she could and take her leave. They saw her out, and then returned to Grandmother Jia’s, where the party continued for the rest of that day and into the evening. When they saw that the old lady was tired, they all went their separate ways home.
Aunt Xue, after bidding farewell to Grandmother Jia, went to have a talk with Bao-chai:
‘Your brother has survived this year, and if he can only receive an Imperial pardon and have his sentence reduced, he may still be able to pay his fine and be set free. These past few years have been so unbearably lonely and wretched for me! I’ve been thinking, perhaps I should go ahead with your cousin Ke’s wedding after all; what do you think?’
‘You’re anxious about it, aren’t you, Mama?’ replied Bao-chai. ‘Pan’s marriage turned out so badly, and you’re worried that Ke’s will be the same. Well, my advice is to go ahead. You know Xiu-yan’s character, and have nothing to fear on that account. Life is very hard for her at present. Once she’s married into our family, however poor we are, it’s bound to be better for her than being totally dependent on others as she is now.’
‘In that case,’ said Aunt Xue, ‘will you tell Lady Jia when you have a chance? I’ve no one at home, and I should like her to choose a lucky day for the wedding.’
‘Just talk it over with Ke and choose a good day between you,’ said Bao-chai. ‘Then you can let Grandmother and Aunt Xing know, and go ahead with the wedding. I’m sure Aunt Xing will be only too glad to be rid of Xiu-yan.’
‘I heard today that Xiang-yun is going home,’ said Aunt Xue. ‘Lady Jia wants Bao-qin to stay on here with you for a few days. She will be marrying too, quite soon, so you should take the chance of having a good chat with her.’
‘I will, Mama.’
Aunt Xue remained with her daughter a little longer, and then after saying goodbye to the others, went home.
Let us return to Bao-yu. When he found himself in his apartment again that evening, he pondered his experience of the night before. There was no denying the fact that Dai-yu had failed to appear to him in a dream. That meant one of two things: either she had indeed already become a fairy, and was holding herself aloof from intercourse with as coarse a being as himself; or else he was just being too impatient. He decided to give this second alternative the benefit of the doubt, and resolved to prolong his experiment a little.
‘Somehow last night,’ he said to Bao-chai, ‘when I fell asleep outside, I had a sounder night’s sleep than I usually do in the inner room. I woke up feeling very calm and refreshed. I’ve been thinking, I should like to try it again for another couple of nights. But I suppose you and Aroma will object again …’
Early that morning when she had heard him reciting the poem, Bao-chai knew it was the memory of Dai-yu that had inspired it. She knew that this obsession of his was something mere words would never cure, and concluded that she might as well let him go ahead and spend the two nights outside, and thus be the agent of his own disenchantment. Anyway, the fact of the matter was that he had slept soundly the previous night. She had been awake herself, and knew.
‘What nonsense!’ she replied. ‘Why should we object? If you want to sleep there, go ahead. Just don’t have any foolish ideas. You’ll only be laying yourself open to possession by evil spirits.’
Bao-yu laughed: ‘Why ever should I do that?’
Aroma was opposed to the plan:
‘I think you should sleep in the inner room. It’s harder to look after you properly in the outer room. You might catch a chill or something.’
Before Bao-yu had time to reply, Bao-chai gave Aroma a meaningful look.
‘Oh well,’ said Aroma, taking the point, at least you should have someone with you to bring you a drink if you need one.’
Bao-yu laughed:
‘Why not you?’
Aroma was embarrassed by this. She blushed fiercely and said nothing. Bao-chai knew that Aroma was too sensible nowadays for that sort of banter, and spoke on her behalf:
‘Aroma is used to being with me now. I think she should stay here. Musk and Fivey can look after you. Besides, Aroma has spent all day traipsing about with me, and she’s tired. She deserves a rest.’
Bao-yu smiled and walked out of the room.
Bao-chai told Musk and Fivey to make up his bed in the outer room.
‘Sleep lightly,’ she instructed them, ‘and be ready to bring him a drink if he wants one.’
‘We will, ma’am,' they replied, and went out, to find Bao-yu sitting bolt upright on the couch, eyes closed and palms together, like a monk in meditation. They did not dare say a word, but stood staring at him, with a smile on their faces. Bao-chai sent Aroma in to see if she was needed, and Aroma too found his posture highly comical.
‘Time to sleep,’ she whispered. ‘What do you want to start meditating for at this hour of the night?’
Bao-yu opened his eyes and looked at her.
‘You can all go to bed now,’ he announced. ‘I shall sit up for a little longer and then go to sleep.’
‘Last night,’ said Aroma, ‘you kept Mrs Bao awake till morn
ing. Surely you’re not intending a repeat performance, are you?’
Bao-yu could see that if he did not go to sleep nobody else would either, and climbed into bed. Aroma gave Musk and Fivey a few final instructions, and then went back to the inner room to sleep, closing the door behind her.
Musk and Fivey sorted out their own bedding, and waited for Bao-yu to fall asleep before going to bed themselves. But he remained obstinately wide awake. Watching them make the beds, he found himself suddenly thinking of the time when Aroma had been away and Skybright and Musk had been left to look after him. It was on that occasion that Musk had gone out during the night and Skybright had tried to play a trick on her and give her a fright. She had been too lightly dressed, and had caught cold as a result; and it was this cold that eventually led to the illness from which she died. His mind was now completely taken up with memories of Skybright. Then suddenly he remembered how Xi-feng had once likened Fivey to Skybright – ‘the spitting image’ had been her words. Imperceptibly his old feelings towards Skybright began to transfer themselves to Fivey. He lay there pretending to be asleep, and furtively watching her. The more he watched her, the more the resemblance struck him, and the more he felt himself aroused. All was silent in the inner room; they must be asleep, he thought to himself. But he needed to discover if Musk was still awake. He called her name a couple of times, and there was no reply. Fivey heard, however:
‘What do you want, Mr Bao?’
‘I’d like to rinse my mouth.’
Fivey could see that Musk was asleep, so she hurriedly rose from her bed, trimmed the wick in the lamp again and took Bao-yu a cup of tea, carrying the spittoon in her other hand. She was in too much of a hurry to change, and had nothing but a little pink silk jacket over her pyjamas. Her hair was loosely coiled on top of her head. Looking at her, Bao-yu could almost imagine Skybright come back from the dead. Suddenly he remembered Skybright’s dying words: ‘If I’d known in advance that it would be like this, I might have behaved rather differently …’ He stared at Fivey in a besotted fashion, quite oblivious of the teacup in her outstretched hand.