No wonder Ezeru was so specific about wanting to see the king and queen’s heads on pikes. What a bitch.
Emiri looked at Seron hopefully. He leaned down—way down—and kissed her. It was a fierce kiss. I could hardly even watch. I never expected how upset I’d feel seeing one of Moth’s other lovers being forced to be with someone else. I had struggled with sharing her, but now I saw the alternative, and it was worse. Seron was a good man, and Himika loved him.
Maybe this is the real reason I’m here.
Emiri sort of half-dragged Seron away from the altar. I could see Seron’s eyes searching the room like he was trying to fight past the mists. But how long could he fight it?
Izeria and Rothair walked down behind them. “Congratulations to the beautiful young couple! I’m sure many children will follow. Now, breakfast and music, and then we will depart.”
A man tapped on my shoulder and said, “The queen says you are to be put to work as a footman. Come with me.”
I was brought downstairs to the kitchens and handed a tray of food that looked revolting even by dragon standards, live wriggling grubs sitting on leaves. I could tell the man gave me this one on purpose, just to test me. I’d seen worse in battle, but…damned if I still wasn’t feeling queasy as I brought the tray out to the royal family as instructed. For now, I figured I just needed to keep my head down, but I was watching for any chance to speak to Seron.
He stayed mostly quiet. Actually, the whole bridal party hardly seemed to know what to talk about. Which made sense, because if they had expected Ezeru to be in this position, well, that was a different story. I could see an older couple who must be the bride’s parents struggling to make conversation with this total stranger who had his memories wiped. If it had been Ezeru, they could have talked about real events and just left out the part where they treated him like shit. But Seron had memory of this court.
Seron always had Emiri nearby. I couldn’t so much as whisper something to him.
I saw Ijaru, carrying wine around the room. She looked like she’d been crying. When she saw me, she gave me a twisted smile. I shook my head. I felt so terrible about what had happened, and she seemed to see me as a friend.
She caught up to me in the hall. “Oszin? The queen let you out?”
“Yeah. I don’t think you should get too friendly with me though. I am incredibly sorry about what happened to your father.”
“It wasn’t your fault at all. Are you planning something?”
“Maybe.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Well, I didn’t ask for your permission. I need to save my friend.”
“I don’t want the queen to hurt you!”
I turned to her. “Ijaru…you’re a sweet girl. I hope you get out of here. I’m sorry we ended up crossing paths in such an unfortunate way before. But this is serious business now. You need to just stay out of it.”
“Could I help?”
“Absolutely not. I can’t let you get hurt.”
“But I might be able to get close to Seron and give him a message or something. That’s who he really is, right? The commander who’s the new king of the dragons?”
“Please stay out of it,” I said. “Seron knows me.”
At least…he must know me, somewhere deep down…mustn’t he? I wondered, watching the blank look in his eyes. It chilled me to think that the mist could alter someone’s mind like this, and the more I watched him, the more I knew I couldn’t let this stand. I couldn’t hurt Seron or Himika this way, if there was anything I could possibly do to stop it.
I finally had a chance at the end of dinner. The dragons were dancing, the room was smoky, and the queen was talking to courtiers. Seron and his new bride both got up at the same time and started walking off in different directions. Having spent a long feast downing drinks, I could imagine their bladders were calling by now.
I walked past him. I knew I couldn’t linger. I only had a second and I hoped it was enough. “Lord Seron…remember the woman you love is Himika, not Emiri. Don’t tell the queen. She is not on your side.”
“Himika…?” I was already walking by, but I heard him murmur the name.
My heart was beating so fast that as I cleared away dishes I drank one of the neglected cups of wine.
It was done. If Seron didn’t understand my words, if he didn’t remember any of it, I could suffer just like Ijaru’s father, with Izeria’s cruel smile regarding me all the while. I broke into a sweat. It felt much too possible. What the hell had I done?
Chapter Eight
Seron
Himika.
Why did that name sound so familiar?
“Is everything all right, my love?” My wife settled back into her chair beside me with a wry smile. “You look a little troubled. That was quite a meal. Remember when you ate too many river fruits?” she said. “Or have you even lost a simple memory like that? Oh, my poor love. Tonight, I promise, I’ll make it up to you, and it won’t matter if you have a single memory from before. Our lives will begin.”
I stared at her beautiful face. She gave me a brilliant flash of a smile before turning to greet a well wisher. There was something about this girl that unsettled me.
What did it matter? Lust stirred within me. The mists made me feel fierce. I had a job to do. I would give this beautiful woman babies and then go off to fight this glorious war for my queen.
I caught that strange servant staring at me, the one who said “Himika”. He called me something else, too. ‘Seron’. Someone else’s name.
A human prisoner of war, someone said he was. He was getting a lot of stares, but I wasn’t sure why. He looked different from us, but…not that strange. Almost like I’d seen humans before. Maybe he was using some words from his own world.
Damn, my head was splitting. I’d been drinking too much. Before I knew it, Emiri was patting my arm and urging me to come to bed. The people were banging drums and shaking noisemakers as they realized it was time for us to go consummate the marriage.
I had almost forgotten the name Himika and then she flashed into my mind again.
She?
Yes, I knew a girl with that name.
Why was I so unsettled?
“Come on, come on!” Emiri laughed. “I just want to be alone with you and feel you inside me.”
As much as my body wanted to feel a woman, I hesitated. She seemed so eager. Of course, she should be eager. She was my fiancee. I supposed we’d known each other forever. She said she used to admire me even when we were children. If I remembered all that, none of this would seem strange. It was all thanks to the damned high dragons and the battle that stole my memory away.
Emiri led me down the halls to the bed chamber. It was empty except for the bed; everything had been packed for our journey. The room was hazy with mist that instantly made me more aroused than before. My cock stiffened, straining against my clothes, desire mounting almost painfully.
“The stone walls aren’t that inviting, are they,” she said. “We only have one night before we have to travel. Let’s make it count.”
She perched on the bed and let her robe slip off her shoulders, revealing the graceful bare skin curved around perfectly, lightly muscular shoulders and slender collarbones. Underneath her robe she wore a plain leather top and shorts. She extended a hand to me and I took a step toward the bed as if enchanted.
She gazed up at me hungrily and opened my sash. “Tanu…you’re…so much yummier than I thought. Of course, I know for you, the mist is…having an effect, isn’t it?” She trailed a finger down the outline of my cock.
I bucked under her touch. My heart pounded, my breath coming short like I was an old man. The mist felt a little suffocating. But I was so desperate for her.
She shoved off my clothes. “Were you always this aggressive?” I asked.
She laughed. “Well, this is the first time I’ve had the chance. I want your babies.”
“As opposed to someone else’s?”
“Well…no.” Sh
e tugged down my trousers, taking my cock in her hand, and I wanted her so badly I could hardly stand it. Moisture beaded at the tip and she leaned toward it.
But something was giving me a displaced feeling, as if this was all a dream. An unsettling dream, when you know something is wrong and you can’t pinpoint the source. “Emiri, how did we meet? What did we say to each other? You said Izeria arranged the marriage.”
“Yes…I was reluctant at first.”
“I thought you admired me since we were children.”
“Oh—yes. I did. As children. That’s true.”
“So what happened to make you reluctant?”
“You didn’t always fit in. You were a different kind of dragon. And I was just immature. I wanted…”
“A fellow mist dragon?”
“I thought I did. Well…like I said. I was young and dumb. I’m very happy to have you now. And I think everyone’s jealous of me!” She giggled a little, like she couldn’t believe her luck. Her hand tightened around my cock and then she put her lips around it and I thought I might explode right then and there. Her black hair spilled down, brushing my thighs, and I let out a moan that felt more like yearning than satisfaction.
“Himika…”
I don’t know why I said that name or why another face entered my mind but suddenly I saw the face of a young woman with a spark in her eyes…brown eyes, human eyes. Eyes I knew.
I shoved Emiri off me.
She looked at me with horror. “What did you say?”
“Himika…”
She slapped me. “The queen of the high dragons?”
“The queen of the high dragons is named Himika?”
“Yes…” Her eyes filled with tears. “But—you hate her!”
“I…I’m not sure. Why do I hate her?”
“She—she tried to seduce you when you were in the high dragon court. Yes. I heard she’s a slut with three lovers.”
“I don’t remember anything, Emiri. I’m sorry. The name slipped out.”
But I pulled my trousers up, even though I was still so damn aroused that the ache seemed to go through my whole body.
“Tanu…you don’t want me anymore?” Emiri cried. “What’s happening?” She reached for me, clawing at my shoulders. “You love me! You’ve told me so a hundred times and now you say the name of some strange woman? She cast some sort of spell on you!”
“I don’t know what’s going on.” I clutched my head.
“Why don’t you hate her?” Emiri shrieked.
Something was wrong. Very very wrong. But I couldn’t remember what had happened, so I wasn’t sure how to react. Was Emiri right? Had the queen of the high dragons cast a spell on me?
Fleeting images of Himika’s face kept flitting past my mind, and the memories didn’t match the idea of a powerful, cruel queen who would seduce me for her own gain. I saw a girl. A girl, wrapping a bandage around a scratch on my arm. A girl, sweet-faced and sighing beneath me. And strangely, I almost felt I saw another man there…
Maybe Emiri is right. Maybe the queen tried to make me one of her many lovers.
But despite my body’s arousal, I couldn’t bring myself to touch Emiri either. My new wife was in tears. Maybe I was being unfair. Maybe I was breaking her heart.
“I need air,” I said, grabbing my robe and whirling toward the door.
“Tanu…! I thought you’d forgotten all that stuff!” Her pleas suddenly had an edge. “I thought I was getting a good, strong mate.”
“All what stuff?”
“The—the stuff about…your time being kidnapped by the high dragons and abused by the queen.” She yanked her robe around her body, her lips in an angry pout.
I left the room. Her mood confused me and I was starting to feel as if the memories of love that I thought were for Emiri were false. I didn’t even know where to go. The palace seemed completely unfamiliar to me, and the cavern that housed it was a lot smaller than I felt I was used to.
At the end of one of the halls, I found a balcony. I stepped out, heart still pounding. I told Emiri I’d come back, but I didn’t want to come back. I could have turned into a dragon and flown past the wall.
Suddenly, something shot me in the back through the doors I had left open behind me. It stung. I tried to reach for it and felt dizzy. Guards were running toward me.
I tried to turn. My gut said I needed to escape. They shot another dart at me.
“Go down already, gods,” one of them panted. “Seron really is a beast.”
“Seron,” I growled. “I’m Seron, aren’t I? I’m Seron…”
When I next woke, my vision was slowly clearing of stars. I was locked in a room filled with mist. My brain was empty. I was slumped on the hard floor, my fingers curling into fists as I shoved myself up and stumbled toward the door.
“Let me out!”
“No. I’m sorry. One dose isn’t enough for a man like you, is it?” I heard low, cynical laughter. “That girl must really be something if both of you refuse such a beautiful mate as Emiri. All right, sir. I get it. You have no room to be tender. But it’ll just be all the more satisfying to see you kill her instead…”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
“Who, exactly. I had to turn my Ezeru into a man…but you’re already a man, so I’m going to turn you into a true warrior. A berserker. You will kill the woman you love. You will kill her.”
I slammed on the door again and again, demanding to know more. I heard whispers, as if from my nightmares. The mists choked me and I kept pounding to get out until I was too spent to pound. Then I scratched. Soon all I knew was a dull pounding in my head, and my heart, and a rage stirring inside me.
The door opened.
A woman stood before me. “Are you conscious, Tanu?”
“I’m conscious…” The words dragged out of me as the pounding in my head slowed.
“Did I break you?” she asked, more curious than concerned. “Maybe that was too much of a concoction…most men would go insane from what I just gave you. But you look…strong, still. There is an interesting spark in your eyes. Poor Emiri, she will want you more than ever. But I’ve learned my lesson there. There will be no other women for you.” She took my chin her hand and made me look at her. “I am your queen.”
“My queen…” I recognized this woman. I remembered her voice.
“Do you have any memories, Tanu?”
“I don’t need memories, my queen.”
“Is there anyone you love?”
I tried to think but I had no memories. I had no heart. I was nothing. I was a sword, a fist, a fury that would never be contained. I could only think of one person, but I couldn’t recall his face. I had a shadowy image of someone important. He had taken something from me.
“There is a man I need to kill,” I said.
“Who is that?”
“The high dragon king.”
“The king? That is who you think of first?” she asked.
I didn’t understand what else she wanted from me.
“The king,” I said.
“You hate the king more than anyone in the world,” she said.
“Oh yes. I hate him. We—used to live in the same court, didn’t we? I was his companion. But he was a brat. A selfish little brat.”
“Ahh… All right, then. Even better…,” she murmured. “The crystal dragon’s head dangling from your hand…not just sightless, but voiceless. That would please me.”
“I will kill him,” I said. “I will tear his head off his body and stomp on his pretty face until it’s nothing.”
The high dragon king, I thought, was connected to me. And when I killed him, I would be free.
“Oh, gods, but perhaps you will make me very happy,” the queen repeated. “Tanu, come with me. We have a punishment to administer. Would you like that? Would you like to give someone pain?”
Numb. I was numb and dead. I coughed and once I started, I could hardly stop, like there was something in my lungs t
hat wouldn’t leave.
“Ezeru was like that too,” she said, looking distressed. “He was always coughing… I should have taken more care with him, though. I should have. He was just a child…”
“Who is Ezeru?” I said, as the coughing fit subsided.
She said nothing but just looked troubled. “Go to the throne room and wait for me there.”
Chapter Nine
Oszin
I guess I just wasn’t all that surprised when Izeria showed up to my cell the morning I thought we were traveling north. She had a few very muscular guards behind her, but they hung back. The queen seemed to enjoy taking care of business personally.
“So,” she said. “You tried to talk to Seron. You tried to remind him about Queen Himika, didn’t you? I know it must have been you. Do you think that letting you out of here wasn’t a test?”
“Do you think I cared?”
“I had to throw the strongest stuff I had at Seron to get him under control. He wouldn’t sleep with Emiri despite the heavy influence of the kulum mist. Who is this queen of yours that you don’t want other women? But when I cast a spell on him to twist his feelings against the person he loves the most, it was your king he mentioned, not the queen. The king stole his throne from him, and made him share his woman, yet Seron still loves him more than anyone. That makes no sense to me.”
“Then, you don’t understand any of them very well,” I said. “From what I know of Aurekdel and Seron and Himika…they’re much stronger together. Aurekdel never stole anything from Seron. Aurek never knew Seron was the real king.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that. When people need power they will always choose that over love.”
“That’s not true.”
“You’re very trusting,” she said. “But that crafty king planned it. He’s a good liar. He lost his sight, what else does he have to fight with?”
“I guess if you want to think that, who am I to stop you?” Now I really saw why Ezeru was so slow to trust. Yeah, no one around here trusted each other at all.
“Well…lucky for you. The mist I gave Seron will turn his love to hate. He will kill Aurekdel. Yes, actually, it makes sense that his mind would target Aurekdel, because there is plenty of reason for love to turn to hate there. Maybe he will spare Himika. You will have to pray that is true.”
The Kingdoms of Sky and Shadow Box Set: A Fantasy Romance Page 62