by David Horne
Jan nodded and shot a strange look at Alex. He looked away when he realized that he had been caught staring. “Sure, coming right up.” She walked away from the group to get the order for food and drink put in.
The 30-something man that was leaning back in the booth answered with a shrug of his shoulders. He seemed to be concerned. “He’s hung up over some guy.”
The other guy shook his head. “He’ll be fine.” He didn’t seem like he wanted to discuss this as much as the others did.
The young receptionist added her two cents, effectively outvoting the nervous guy. “I think it’s a broken heart.”
“A broken heart would mean that he’s had someone. From what he says it wasn’t anything serious. Just that the guy was avoiding him now.” The boss woman chipped in. “Which makes it awkward, because apparently, this guy is his neighbor.”
“He said this guy was hot too.” The younger woman piped in. “Like super-hot. Tattoos and stuff. Big muscles.”
“Who cares if he’s hot. If he’s getting all weird with Benjamin, he doesn’t deserve him.” The older gentleman quickly defended the programmer that had taken up so much of Alex’s thoughts lately.
“Poor Benjamin.” The younger woman lamented.
“I don’t know how we can help him.” The younger man shrugged. He seemed the kind to fix things, and hate it when he couldn’t fix things.
“All we can do is be there for him.” The 30-something guy shook his head. “You know, be supportive.”
This drew rolled eyes from the younger male at the table. The man was definitely not interested in continuing this conversation as he sipped his beer and leaned back against the seat, letting everyone else talk around him.
“Hey, I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s just a breakup.” The boss kept her frown.
Alex had the urge to go up and talk to him but decided against it. Instead, he stood over by the door and just watched them continue to talk. There was a shot of guilt that rushed through him, but he pushed it away. He wanted to know how Benjamin was doing, even if he couldn’t risk talking to him.
“It’s not just a breakup. He’s getting ghosted.” The younger woman spoke again.
“He’ll be fine. He just needs some time.” The boss spoke again, but the worry was written across her face.
“Time may be just what he needs.” The older man agreed. “Time tends to heal these kinds of wounds.” Another shot of guilt shot through Alex. He probably shouldn’t have been listening to the conversation. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to know more about the people that his neighbor surrounded himself with. These seemed to be the people that were the closest to him.
“There’s got to be something that we can do to help.” The younger woman spoke up. “There has to be something. We can’t just say that he’ll get over it over and over again.”
“Did you want all of your friends all over you when you were dealing with your last break up?” The older man cocked an eyebrow.
“No, not really.”
The boss offered a weak smile. “See, if he needs us, he knows where to come. We’ll be here when he’s ready.”
“I guess so.” The woman looked chastised.
“Don’t worry so much.” The older man sighed. “It happens a lot. Benjamin is just lonely and lost someone he thought would be around.”
“And it’s a little awkward.” The boss nodded along.
“Should we even be talking about him when he’s not here?” The reticent gossiper piped up. “It’s kind of rude.”
“We’re just trying to see if there’s a way that we can help.” The receptionist smiled at him. “We would do the same for you.”
“You’re being really grumpy, something going on at home?” The older man turned to tease the younger man.
“Nothing is going on at home.”
“That’s probably why you’re so upset.” The older man teased.
This drew out more rolled eyes all around the table and then they started to laugh.
“That was cold.” The younger woman smirked.
“I didn’t expect it from you.” The younger man turned to the older man.
“Relax, it was just a joke.”
“I know it was a joke.” More eye rolling followed.
“Why do you keep acting like it doesn’t matter?” The older man smirked at him. “Jealous?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“You sure?”
“For real, though. I wanna help him.” The younger woman spoke up, bringing them back to the old conversation. It was a good diversion that the younger man seemed to be happy about even if he didn’t say much.
“Maybe we can take him out a little more often? Call him up and invite him when he’s not working with us?”
“Yeah!” The young woman sounded like she was being pumped up to go to war. It was so adorable that Alex almost laughed, drawing another glare from Jan. The woman didn’t agree with him eavesdropping on the customers, and there was no good way to explain why he was so interested in what they had to say.
He wanted to listen more, but a small crowd came in and he needed to check identification.
For a few minutes after that, he was dragged into his job, having to focus on some customers coming in and helping in the kitchen restocking when he could spare a few minutes. He was enjoying the job more and more as time went by. And now he really didn’t want to leave. But still, the guilt nagged at him. It was obvious that Benjamin was upset. And that he knew that Alex was avoiding him.
Ghosting. He was ghosting Benjamin. And that was the worst feeling to be on the other end of. It gnawed at his gut. “What’s wrong?” Jan popped her head into the back room.
“Nothing.” Alex wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. It wasn’t true, and he didn’t know how obvious the lie could be.
“Something’s wrong.” She wasn’t going to let it go that easy. He should have expected that. “Maybe you could just talk about it. I’m always here.”
“I know you are, and it’s fine. I’m just adjusting to the sleep schedule, that’s all.” He shook his head and carried another case of beer out to a barroom that was starting to get busier as the after-dinner crowd started to trickle in. From the looks of it, this was going to be a big one.
But that meant he didn’t have to think about all the problems in his life, so he was actually happy for the busy time. He didn’t listen in anymore, there just wasn’t the chance before the group left the bar and he was on his own.
The rest of his shift ended quietly, providing Alex with a sort of peace that he had been afraid wouldn’t last. Actually, he was sure it wouldn’t last. Not with Popper in town. And as he got home and found that note on the door with just a phone number on it, that became very clear. He knew it was from Popper and he couldn’t help but step into his apartment and grab the pillow off of his bed.
And he screamed into it. As loud as he could, muffling it into the pillow, not even paying attention to how much of the sound worked its way through the cloth and foam that made the cheap pillow.
He must have woken up Benjamin because he heard a thump of someone getting startled. Alex put the pillow down. There was a good chance that Benjamin wouldn’t have been able to identify the source given the time and the fact that he had just been woken up by it.
It just made him feel more guilty, sacrificing Benjamin’s sleep for his frustration. He was already hurting Benjamin enough. He thought about heading over next door to apologize but realized that was probably a bad idea and would lead to nothing good between the two of them.
Instead, he flopped into the bed not even bothering to undress. He did remember to at least kick off his shoes before sleep found him. His bed wasn’t as comfortable as he would have liked, but it was good enough for his new life. At least he was in one place, a real home instead of crashing wherever he could or some sort of group habitation that they had if they were staying in an area for any decent length of time.
To many years
on the road had taken its toll, and he appreciated having four walls to call his own, even if it was in a shitty part of town.
Chapter Ten
Benjamin checked his phone. He had sent out the last text a while ago and assumed that work must have picked up in the office. Heather wasn’t responding.
The pang of loneliness hit him. Alex had been avoiding him for almost a week, and Benjamin had done him a favor by not going to the bar that he knew the bouncer worked at. If he was being avoided, he wasn’t going to go to a place where it would be thrown out into the obvious. And he didn’t really want to see Alex ignoring him anyway.
So, he had come home. Said he wasn’t feeling well. And after that Heather had made more effort to talk to him, just normal day to day conversations. He was grateful. It kept him grounded. He had met the guys from the office for a meal out the day before too.
It was like they knew what was going on with him. But they didn’t know too much. They didn’t know why he had refused to go to the bar. The truth was that he would have gone just about anywhere else they had wanted to go.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Benjamin sighed and went to open it.
The person on the other side was a surprise. He wasn’t expecting to see Alex ever again. “What?”
“I wanted to talk.” Alex looked down at his feet, shuffling them back and forth. The man looked embarrassed.
“About what?” Benjamin had to remind himself to play it cool. Alex was going to say something about what was going on, but he couldn’t risk scaring him away again. There was too much at stake. He wanted answers.
“About what happened.”
“I don’t even know what happened.”
“I know because I didn’t explain it.”
“Are you going to explain it now?” Benjamin felt his heart jump into his throat. “I want to know. Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t really help with this.”
“You sound so sure about that.”
“I’m pretty damn sure about this.”
“I was hoping you would give me a chance?”
Benjamin nodded and shifted to the side, a silent invitation for the man to come into the room.
Alex took the offer and stepped into the room. The door was closed. “Do you mind if I sit down?”
“Is this going to take a while?”
Alex nodded. “It may. It’s kind of complicated.”
“Then I guess we should sit down.” Benjamin headed to the fridge and pulled out a couple of cold bottles of water, passing one over as they sat down. “It’s probably better that way.” He kept his distance though, staying in a chair near the couch so that he couldn’t accidentally touch Alex or brush against his leg. It was the last thing that he wanted. This was a moment that keeping his sanity was important.
Alex looked disappointed by the distance but accepted it with a heavy sigh. “I need to tell you who that guy was.”
“The one that threatened me?”
“That’s the guy.”
“What is it? Who was he?”
“I don’t really know how to explain this to you.”
“Why don’t you just start with his name.”
“Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” Alex sighed heavily as he continued. “His name is Popper.”
“What kind of name is Popper?”
“It’s a nickname.”
“What’s his real name?”
“I don’t really know,” Alex admitted, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “We never worried too much about that.”
“Where?”
“In my old job.”
“What about the job?” Benjamin felt like he wasn’t getting as many answers as he should have gotten. Maybe Alex was having trouble talking about it. He tried to remind himself to be patient with the man. “I thought you worked on the oil fields.”
“I may have let you think that.” Alex was sighing a lot.
“What’s going on? Maybe I can help?”
“I don’t think that you can. I’ve got a lot going on.”
“Who is Popper?”
“He’s a member of the Hill’s Eyes.”
“What is that?” Benjamin fought the urge to pull out his phone and google the name.
“It’s the name of a gang.”
“A gang?” Benjamin paused and considered it. “What kind of gang?”
“A biker gang.”
“Like-”
“Yeah, like those ones.” Alex interrupted the thought process. “We were a bit smaller than the major ones you may have heard of.”
“I heard they weren’t that dangerous.”
“Some of them cleaned up their act.”
Benjamin took a deep breath. “And this gang? What about it?”
Alex nodded. “I was a member of it.”
“Wait. You’re a member of a gang?”
He sighed again. “I’m trying to leave that life behind.” Alex started to explain slowly. “Criminals. Mostly armed robbery and some drugs and stuff.”
“Did you kill someone?”
“Luckily no, I never had to kill someone.” Alex shook his head.
“That’s a bonus at least.” Benjamin felt lame saying it like that, but the truth was he had trouble figuring out what to say to him after hearing all of this from Alex. The man had a dangerous life. That much was obvious. But Benjamin still felt like the other man was skirting around the rest of it. “So, what are you trying to do now?”
“I’m trying to have a normal life. You know, a real job and stuff like that.”
“But this guy, what’s he going to do?”
Alex sighed. “I don’t know. They’re trying to get me to help them expand to this area.”
“Is that like a territory thing?”
“Yeah, something like that.” Alex leaned back on the couch. “It’s a little hard to explain, but groups tend to have certain areas they work, stepping outside of them can cause trouble. They can carve out little pieces in new areas though.”
“And why are they trying to do it here?”
“I don’t think they are. They just don’t like people leaving.”
“Were you very important?”
“We weren’t very big, because we spend most of our time on the road, so yeah.”
“What do you want to do about it?” Benjamin had no idea how to help, but if what Alex was saying was true, he was eager to try something.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have any ideas?” Benjamin reached over to take Alex’s hand. The large man didn’t seem to notice, just letting his hand be held. There didn’t seem to be a way to comfort him.
“Not yet, I’ve been trying to figure something out.”
“Anything I can do?” Benjamin shifted over to the couch next to him. He had this urge to be close.
“I don’t know yet.” Alex shrugged. “I don’t think I want you involved in this at all.”
“He wanted me to spy on you.” Benjamin frowned.
“You don’t want to get involved in that.” Alex met Benjamin’s eyes. “You don’t need to spend any time near him that you don’t have to.”
“Is he that dangerous?”
“He’s a killer. The guy that did most of the killing for us. He won’t bat an eye about leaving you in a puddle of your own blood.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Alex leaned closer and Benjamin took the invitation to move in, placing his arm over his shoulder.
“There’s got to be something.” This conversation was going in circles. He could almost feel what Alex was going to say next.
Alex seemed to enjoy the closeness, closing his eyes. “This isn’t anything you have to worry about.”
“I know it’s not, but I don’t mind helping.”
“If I need you, I’ll call.”
“You don’t really mean that, do you?” Benjamin smiled softly. “You’re going to try to handle this all on your o
wn.”
“That’s what I plan to do, yeah. You didn’t get me into this mess. I did. And no one else needs to be at risk for it.”
“Doesn’t your family all work at the bar? Are they going to be all right?”
“I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Alex shrugs. “But Popper isn’t exactly known to be predictable when he doesn’t get what he wants.”
“This sounds impossible.”
“It feels impossible.” Alex leaned on Benjamin’s shoulder. “It should be this hard to try to turn your life around.”
“Maybe there’s someplace that can help you. Can you go to the police?”
“That would just get me in trouble too. I did as much as anyone else, except maybe Popper.”
“Was it really that bad?” Benjamin knew the answer but hoped against hope that it wasn’t the case.
“Yeah. Maybe worse than I could ever really explain.”
“Does this mean you may have to run again?”
“That’s possible, but Popper may come after my family if I do.”
“What are you going to do then?” Benjamin wanted to wring his hands but stopped himself before he started. It wouldn’t do any good to show his worry to Alex. “There has to be something.”
“I don’t know.” Alex was sounding frustrated.
“Sorry I keep asking that question.”
“I keep asking myself that question.”
Benjamin drew in a sharp breath, pulling Alex closer to him. He could feel the frustration rolling off the man in waves, and he didn’t like it at all. Slowly he brought his lips down on the tattooed giant’s lips, capturing them in another kiss. If you asked him later he wouldn’t have been able to tell you why he did it, just that he did and that he didn’t regret it at all. Alex needed him and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to at least help comfort the man.
Alex’s hands started to run up and down Benjamin’s shoulders as the programmer deepened the kiss. Soon all the worries were lost to the passions flowing between them. They felt the need to be close to one another and there was nothing in the world that could take that feeling away from them.
Alex laid Benjamin down on the couch, looming over him with his large frame. One hand holding up his weight as the kisses grew more intense and both bodies responded to the closeness. Crotches rubbed together, creating even more heat and electricity to flow between them, even if no clothes had been shed yet.