She groped for something reassuring, but whether the reassurance was for Royce or herself, that was an enigma. The intelligent action would be to tell Royce that Dave was in her past and that she wanted to accept what she thought he’d been wordlessly offering her over the past weeks. She flailed for a change of topic. “Your granddad was rough today?”
“No more than usual. I can deal. I keep telling myself this is temporary. I just have to keep holding the fort here until Dad’s healthy enough to step in and take on the old cuss.”
“How’s your dad doing?”
He sighed heavily. “Better, and happier now that he’s home, but not as good as we all hoped. I talked to Mom before I called you. She’s afraid he might be looking at a pacemaker. Have to wait on more tests and see what the real story is.”
“I’m sorry.” As a child, she’d been awed by Del Maguire, a big rancher in Stetson, boots, and shiny rodeo buckle. The man might have been born in Florida, but he was pure Texan at heart.
“Of course, being bed-bound’s driving Dad nuts, and I see serious head-butting ahead with my uncles. He matches Granddad for stubborn. Dad won’t be satisfied until he’s back in the saddle and in charge again.”
They talked on until they were drowsy and the hour was late. She’d always wished she’d had a brother or sister and enjoyed the stories of his big family. They were far from perfect, but they were real.
Between restless dreams and listening for sounds from next door, sleep came hard. Olivia woke for good at 5:00 a.m. to drumming rain.
Dave.
She hurried to the kitchen window and peered out into the dark morning. At the sight of his pickup, she sagged in relief and clenched her hands on the countertop.
What was she going to do about Dave?
No, far too complicated a question for this hour of the morning.
Okay, start simple: coffee first, then thinking.
****
Dave woke blinking at the blurry slats of sharp daylight against the wall. Where the hell was he? Memories flooded, washing away that half-asleep confusion, rapidly followed by guilt, shame, and shock.
Shit. Embarrassed by his obsession with time yesterday, he set the bedside clock. After that, he stumbled into the bathroom and splashed water over his face. Yep, he looked as rough as he felt, exhausted and empty, as if he’d finished a marathon. Maybe he should just crawl back into the churned-up bed.
Stay. She’d told him to stay. For her sake, he should leave, but his running blindly had to end.
Time for coffee and time to face Livie.
Outside the kitchenette window, bright sunlight glittered on the water and passing boats. Two boats lay tied up at the dock, rocking under a fresh wind. At the nearest, a man extended his hand to help a woman disembark and drew her into a playful, loving hug. A pang struck Dave’s heart.
Stay? Yeah, no choice.
After coffee, cereal, a shower, and a shave he felt marginally better. Planless, he tapped on her door. No answer, so he headed on downstairs and into the kitchen. The scents of baking bread, herbs, and roasting meat filled the compact commercial kitchen, but no Livie.
Dual swinging doors led into the bar, and he found Livie’s uncle reading the newspaper at the bar and drinking coffee. “Good morning.” This was awkward as hell. “Is Livie around?”
“Morning.” Jake flicked the paper closed and set it aside. He studied Dave, bristling white brows drawing together. About to tell him to take a hike since Livie wasn’t around to force the need for polite conversation? “She’s swimming over at the house. Pull up a seat.”
Dave hooked his cane on the bar and eased onto the nearest stool.
Jake slid a Corona across the bar. “Close enough to lunch.” He poured himself a short rocks glass of draft beer and, after a sip, pulled out a card deck. “So what’re your plans?” The old man’s face said no bullshit as he dealt two poker hands.
“Don’t have any.”
“You can’t tell me you haven’t been thinking. Drink that beer.”
Dave shrugged. “Yeah. Been thinking. No plan yet.” He took a long pull on the beer.
“Where does Olivia fit into that no plan yet?”
The old ache sharpened. “I blew what we had together. I hurt her.”
Jake nodded, neither condemning nor forgiving. “What’re you going to do about it?”
“I want to fix things. Somehow.” He stared at his cards. A pure mess, like his life. He met Jake’s steady brown gaze. “You knew I screwed up. Why didn’t you kick me out?”
“Because of Olivia. Because you showed up. Because at your core you’re a good man. Good men still make mistakes, but it’s what they do about their mistakes that separates them from the assholes of this world. They try to make it right.”
“We’re both restarting our lives. It’s not the best time to make a relationship work.”
“There’s never a best time, son. There’s only now. You should know that better than most folks. If you don’t try, you’ll never know.”
“I have nothing to offer her.”
Oh, that’s lame. What are you? A coward?
Jake snorted. “Bullshit. You’ve had a low blow to your pride and your dreams. So? You pick your ass off the ground and come up swinging. If you’ve boxed, you know. Lay down, you stay down. Stay down, you lose. Simple.” Jake leaned against the bar and sipped his beer, slow and savoring. “I wasn’t always a cook and bartender.” He paused for a moment heavy with meaning. “A door slammed closed for you. What new door will you open?” He sipped again, one bushy eyebrow raised.
Dave folded his mess of a hand and dropped the cards on the bar. “Can I talk to her?”
Jake spread a royal flush. “She’s at the pool. Follow the stepping stones to the gate. Key’s inside the frog.”
“Thanks.”
“You should use the pool. Okay? And no telling Olivia about the beer, right?” He winked.
Dave nodded. “Right. Thanks again.”
He stepped out into the soupy tropical air and the glaring sun. Small white herons stalked across the green lawn, and a pair of ibis gave him an impatient stare. A stepping stone pathway led to a gate set into the blazing pink stucco wall enclosing Jake’s backyard, swathed in eye-popping purple and red bougainvillea. The white iron gate framed a view of a spacious concrete patio, screen-enclosed turquoise pool, and Livie in a one-piece black swimsuit steadily swimming laps.
A torrent of memory froze him in place: her delight at catching the bluegills, swimming together in the cove, her wet body sliding against his, her smiles, and making love on the beach.
If he did try to fix things between them, what did he have to offer her? A busted-up body and no income at the moment but his disability and savings. The work he wanted was back west. Her future was here. And she wanted kids…
You need to get away from fire. Get your head out of the ashes so to speak.
No. He pulled the latch, stepped inside, and closed the gate behind him. Firefighting was all he wanted, and the loss burned and ached. Damn, he needed to get his head straight. He would work in that field again.
Livie swam laps relentlessly, giving no indication she’d seen him. The breeze rustled and rattled the palm fans, whispering like rain showering a roof. He dropped into a cushioned patio chair. He should take up Jake’s offer to use the pool. He needed to exercise more than he’d been doing. Sitting on his ass in the truck for the last month was probably half his problem.
What had he wanted before firefighting consumed his life? Fire had driven his life one way or another since he was eleven.
His firefighting, his music, his outdoor sports, love…yeah, he’d once thought he could have it all.
Livie hiked herself onto the pool edge to sit legs in the water, hunched and breathing hard, ignoring his presence. Her wet hair clung in shining black wings to her cheeks, dripping into the pool. Finally, she looked up, her brown eyes wary. His fault.
“Hey.”
Sh
e wiped the water from her face with her palms. “How did you sleep?”
“Good.”
He was the wrong man for her, but damn it, he wanted to be the right man. What could he do but apologize again? “I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
She stood and slipped her towel from a patio chair. “I asked you to stay. I meant what I said last night. Stay until you’re ready to go.” She avoided meeting his eyes, and distance frosted her voice. “I need to get ready for work.” She set to drying herself.
“Sure.” He scrounged for something to bridge the silence. “I’m headed to the grocery store. Need anything while I’m there?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
Stay until you’re ready to go. Well, it’s not like he’d given her a reason to say more.
They walked together in acute silence as far as his truck.
Livie paused with a reserved shrug. “See you later.”
“Right.”
He found the supermarket and picked up food to stock his small kitchen for a few days and to replace what she’d shared. In the produce section, the apples ambushed him with memories of feeding her slices and her laughter in the moonlight.
Back at the apartment, he sorted the groceries. He’d bought too many apples. He added four to Livie’s sack and set the sack by her door.
What now? Get a drink downstairs and moon after Livie like some lovesick stalker? What if Maguire came in?
He was tired. Really fucking tired.
He looked at his guitar leaning against the wall. He made himself take the steps, place the case on the bed, and flip open the lid. He brushed the strings.
Stop running away. Pick it up.
Chapter Fifteen
Olivia’s hopes for busy day and occupied mind proved fruitless. Everything dragged her back to Dave: the fish meals she served, the sunlight sparkling on the water, the boats tied at the dock…
At her last peek outside, Dave’s truck stood beside her car. She’d hoped he’d come down to eat or at least grab a beer, but no. Probably all her fault. She hadn’t meant to be so cold to him at the pool, but finding him watching her swim left her too startled to manage her emotions.
Happy hour turned into a deluge of dinner customers, keeping them running. She hurried into the kitchen to give Uncle Jake her newest table’s order and pick up another table’s salads. Teo was alone, hustling at the grill, and Benny, their seventeen-year-old dishwasher, was nervously building salads under Teo’s stream of instructions. Concern shivered up her spine. “Where’s Uncle Jake?”
“Had to go to the office for a call, he said, but it’s been a long time now.” Teo lifted a basket of golden fries from the fryer. “Really could use him back.”
“I bet Daddy has him trapped on the phone. I’ll go rescue him.”
“Thanks. Busy night tonight.”
Daddy always tried managing Uncle Jake’s life, too, and failed regularly, but that didn’t stop his long calls. She’d just have to brace herself and offer to talk to Daddy. She heaved a breath and opened the office door.
Uncle Jake sat slumped in the chair, eyes shut, his face pale, and his breathing strained.
Cold fear swamped her. “Uncle Jake! Oh, Uncle Jake. Open your eyes.” She tried to check his pulse, but he yanked his wrist away.
He peered up at her with a weary scowl. “Don’t need to shout.”
“I’m calling 911.” She grabbed the phone.
He closed his shaky hand on hers, stopping her from dialing, his grip surprisingly strong. “I’m not going to the hospital. Just got a little dizzy there for a moment. Nothing to make all this fuss over.”
“Stop being so stubborn. Dr. McGraw said if you had another episode, he wanted you in the hospital immediately.”
“I’m not being stubborn. This wasn’t another episode, and I’m already feeling better.”
Olivia had to admit his color and breathing were already improved. “I want you to get checked out. If you won’t let me call for an ambulance, let me take you to the hospital. You can’t fool around with your heart. Please, Uncle Jake, don’t fight with me on this.”
“I’m not fighting with you, baby girl. I’m not going. I just forgot my pills and did too much this morning. I took ’em now. I’m fine, but since you’re worried, I promise I’ll take it easy. I’ll even let you take over for me in the kitchen tonight.”
Her heart sped again. She’d never worked in the kitchen without Uncle Jake before. Yes, she knew what to do and she had Teo, but still…
Stop. Be brave. You are a good cook. You know what to do.
Against her better judgment, she caved. His color was back, and he was breathing normally. “Okay, but we’ll be keeping an eye on you. If you get dizzy or short of breath again, it’s the hospital for you and no arguing. I love you too much to lose you over foolishness.” She hugged him.
He hugged her back. “Love you too, baby girl. Only laziness for the rest of the night for me. I promise.”
She told all the staff. They loved him as much as she did, and they’d keep a sharp eye on him.
Teo and she easily settled their cooking tasks. During a lull, she slipped out from the kitchen to check on Uncle Jake. He was sitting behind the bar and looked to be keeping his promise to rest.
Royce dragged in, tired and sad. “Hi, Olivia.” His smile faltered, adding to her worries.
Had his dad taken a turn for the worse? “Are you okay? How’s your dad?”
“Dad’s doing okay, except for Granddad raising his blood pressure. No change there.”
Oh, wait, it was Wednesday. He must have paid his grandma a visit. Alzheimer’s had stolen Mrs. Maguire’s memories, making his visits a stranger to a stranger, but Royce insisted his visits cheered her and doggedly stuck to his routine.
Livie glanced at Uncle Jake, desperately thankful he and her parents had escaped that disease.
Uncle Jake slipped from his seat and poured Royce his usual beer. “Here you go. Rough day, huh?”
“Thanks, Jake. Yeah, rough day. Different day, same old crap. Granddad’s been on a tear. He and Dad lit into each other on the phone. Granny, well…” He shrugged and firmed his smile. “She’s at least comfortable.”
She patted his shoulder. “Did you eat yet?”
“No. I could use a burger.”
“Your usual?”
“That’ll hit the spot. Thanks.”
About a half hour later, her cell phone rang. Daddy. Maybe he could nag his brother into visiting the doctor. She glanced at Teo. “It’s my dad. Are you good for me to take a few?”
He nodded, attention fixed on the grilled mahi-mahi he was plating. “Got it. Rush is over, so I’m good here. Take all the time you need.”
She loved Teo. Nothing ruffled him. She’d miss him so much when he went away to culinary school. If only she could keep him here, but she’d never hold him back from his dreams.
Steeling herself, she answered the call. “Hi, Daddy.” She slipped into the quiet utility room, restraining the urge to spill every last worry.
“You didn’t call last night.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose against the surging headache. “Sorry, last night was busy. How’s Mama?”
“She’s fine, but she worried all last night since you didn’t call and your area had tornado watches. She’s at choir practice tonight.”
Right. Now she had to tell Daddy about Uncle Jake without Mama’s calm backup. “They’re always posting the watches, but the warnings were inland. We had a few strong squalls, but the winds were just blustery, not bad at all.”
“I’m glad. I would have waited until your Mama arrived home, but I wanted to talk to you tonight alone.”
Her heart sped. Please, please, don’t let anything be wrong with Mama or Daddy.
“It’s been a year. You need to make plans for your future, Olivia. You can’t keep avoiding decisions. Mama and I want you to come home.”
“Daddy—”
“We need to sit down and plan where you are going from here.”
Oh, please, not this lecture. Not today. As he droned on with the same old concerns, advice, and orders, Olivia pressed her forehead against the wall, slowly counting to ten against shouting all that crowded her throat.
I have future plans! Florida is my home. I am financially invested in this business. I am an official partner. I am a productive, hands-on, participating partner in this bar. This isn’t temporary. This is a real career. This is what I want to do with my life.
Why did Daddy refuse to see this?
She clenched her jaw. I can’t deal with this tonight! I have Dave upstairs, Uncle Jake to watch, the kitchen to run!
Daddy’s lecture rolled on. “This isn’t the career for you, Olivia. You can’t go on frittering away your life working in a bar.”
Her head pounded. “Daddy! Stop. I can’t leave here! Uncle Jake needs me. He had another episode today.”
Silence. That tore Daddy’s full focus off her abandoned career. His voice wavered. “How bad?”
“I don’t know. He was pale and shaky. He claimed he forgot his meds this morning, and he refused to let me check him over and refused to go to the hospital, but it must have scared him, because he agreed to rest. We’re all keeping an eye on him. I’m covering for him in the kitchen.”
Daddy pelted her with questions she had no answers for, leaving her drowning in inadequacy. “Daddy, talk to him yourself. Maybe he’ll listen to you.”
Daddy’s frustrated snort was loud and clear. “If he listened to me, he wouldn’t be in Florida.”
“Okay, I need to get back to work. We’re busy tonight. I’ll talk to you and Mama tomorrow morning, okay?”
He let her go, and the remainder of the evening passed smoothly. She was a tired, jumbled mix of triumph and worry and in dire need of a shower, but Teo, Benny, and she had worked smoothly together and cooking had filled her with bright moments of pleasure.
Love Burns Page 22