He harrumphs. “And that’s why it’s difficult to explain it to you. I don’t have the answer myself. Cat,” his hand reaches out and takes one of mine as I lean over a bag, “you’re a beautiful woman, and I would love to fuck you. But I’m not going to use you like that.”
Now he’s lying. He doesn’t think of me that way at all. He’s letting me down gently.
“Just go, if that’s what you want. I’m grateful to you, Jeremiah, or whoever you are. But—”
“I don’t know what the fuck I want to do,” he interrupts. Letting me go, his hands brush back through his hair in that achingly familiar gesture of his. “I should go. But not because of you, but because it’s something I should do.” For a second, he meets my eyes, then he turns and starts to pace. “I’ve got another life waiting for me.”
My hands find my hips. “You’re married?” I spit out.
“Fuck no. Not that.” His eyes widen in disbelief, after a pause, he gives a shuddering sigh. “You want to know who I am? Well, perhaps so do I. Perhaps this is the first time in my life I’ve a chance to find out.”
My brow furrows. “You don’t know who you are? Did you get a bump on your head or something?”
He snorts. “Nothing like that.” He takes a few steps away. He stops pacing, comes back, and again takes my hand. “You want to know why I haven’t made a move on you? Well, it’s because you’re not someone I can fuck and move on. And, babe, that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve never done this.” He waves his hand around the house. “I’ve never had a relationship. Sex was a bodily function, nothing more than that. And no, before you ask, I haven’t left a trail of broken hearts. I’ve never fucked a woman who didn’t know the score, and that’s why I hesitate with you.”
“What is the score?” I bite my lip, unsure whether I want to know. Would I throw myself into his arms, desperate to know what it feels like to be his if only for one night?
His eyes, almost midnight black, focus on mine. “The score is a night with my cock deep inside you. It might not even involve a bed. Then, I’d leave.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say at least I’d know what it felt like, but I’m worth more than that. However much I’d regret not taking the chance, I know being loved or however he wants to describe it, and left, would hurt me more. Like most women I know, I’d go into it with my eyes firmly shut, believing that I could change his mind. That one night would become two, and perhaps more after that, until he wouldn’t want to go. But I don’t have a magical pussy, even I admit that.
“My mom left me when I was six. One day she was there, one day she wasn’t.” His eyes glaze as he starts to think back. “My dad was… difficult. Fuck it, he was a mean drunk. I grew up evading his hands and fists.”
My heart aches for him as a child, but he sees my compassion and brushes it off. “Dad wanted me to live the life he never had. When I showed promise in sports, he pushed me on. His dream was me becoming a pro football player. He had it all planned—I’d make my fortune, buy him a house and he wouldn’t have to pretend to look for work anymore.”
“But you weren’t good enough?”
“I was,” he states with a glimmer of pride. “I won a scholarship. But that was his dream, not mine. I admit I led him on, but I followed my own path. I signed up and became a SEAL. I had this idea that serving my country was more honourable than chasing a ball around a field.”
A SEAL? Not just a Navy man like he’d originally said. “So, you’re a hero?”
“Not now,” he scoffs. “I fucked up. Another SEAL lost his life. I was discharged and lost everything I fuckin’ worked for.”
My mouth drops open. He got a man killed? “Was it a mistake?”
“Mistake?” He gives another of his characteristic snorts. “I disobeyed a direct order, but the real question is, should that order have been made?” He shakes his head. “I was focused, driven, Cat. All my life I worked hard to get what I wanted from life, and suddenly it was all lost. I’m not a good man. It affected my head. Maybe I’m more like my father than I thought, as it all got bottled up inside.”
He turns and starts pacing again. “I grew up angry at my circumstances. I was kicked out of the SEALs and left enraged at what had occurred. I was given another chance, and I fucked that up as well. Yeah, Cat, I should leave. I should go back to where I’ve people waiting on me. But…” His voice trails off. Suddenly he’s standing right in front of me, his hands resting on my arms. “It seems I’ve never had a moment of peace until I came here and met you.”
Peace?
“Yeah.” A small smile plays at his lips. “I came, sure, you were in trouble, so I stayed. I got hooked by your green eyes and luscious red hair.” His fingers play with an errant curl that’s escaped from my messy bun. “I don’t know what to do with this, Cat. I don’t know whether to stay or to run. All I can say is here, I feel no stress.”
“Then stay,” I say fast. “There’s no reason for you to leave.”
His eyes close, and he turns away. “But there is. There’s a clock ticking and I can’t leave it too late.” He shudders. “If I don’t return, I lose everything that makes me who I am. If I go, I lose you, and fuck, you’re important to me. I’ll be honest, I don’t understand why.”
18
Stormy…
I’ve been running all my life, driven by ambition and the need to succeed, the desire to be the best. But life has knocked me back as though punishing me for my arrogance, placing me in situations I can do nothing about.
I haven’t lied to Cat. Landing here was like slamming on the brakes. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been able to relax. Nothing’s spurring me on, and those things that fired my temper have settled into the past.
Dad was an asshole, but I got out. Smythe fucked up my career. I saved those girls once; I couldn’t save them again. My team was killed. Maybe I should have been with them, maybe I could have prevented the transport being blown up, or acted on intelligence and evaded that course. But the anger I’d been driven by has resolved with the knowledge I’m only one man. Saving Cat was like wiping the slate clean. Finding Cat was like coming home.
It’s why I haven’t made a move on her. She’s not just a quick fuck. Giving her my cock would mean starting a relationship, and could I really commit? Is it fair to try? She doesn’t even know my real name, even though I’ve disclosed the barebones of my past.
All I know is Cat is pushing buttons I never knew I had. I feel like a different person around her. She makes that burning inside disappear.
Rounding the counter, I go to stand beside her, curling my hand around the back of her neck. “I’m here if you want me. Can’t make promises, but I won’t run.”
She raises an eyebrow. “If I want you?”
I tighten my grip, leaning in so she can feel the warmth of my breath on her skin. “If you want my cock.”
She flushes. She’s not immune to me. But I already knew that. Without sounding vain, I know when a woman wants me. It’s giveaway signs,—nipples peaking when the room’s anything but cold, a restlessness when we’re sitting together on the couch—a lick of her lips, a squirming in her seat. I’ve known she’s wanted me for days.
I’ve been fighting to resist. Well, that stops now.
Deciding actions are better than words, I take hold of her hand, and lead her away, tugging to get her to ascend the stairs.
I haven’t been in her bedroom for days. Not since she recovered. Before that, I admit to being a creep, standing there watching her sleep, or on nights when she was most disturbed, slipping under the sheets and lying beside her, disappearing before she woke. Not that she’d been aware of that. SEALs can be stealthy when they need to be.
I’ve seen her naked before—the day when I rescued her and warmed her in the bath. I’d been a gentleman then, but I wouldn’t be today.
I kick open her door, using the same foot to close it behind me once we’re both inside. Pulling her around to face me, I rest both pa
lms on her cheeks.
“I’m not romantic,” I warn her. “I don’t know how to do hearts and flowers. But by fuck, I’ll make sure you enjoy this.”
She swallows and then does it again.
“I may not be the type of man you want.”
It’s as if any resistance has fled. “I-I don’t care.”
It’s all the permission I need. Shrugging aside the vestiges of civility, I plant my mouth on hers, nipping at her lips until she opens and lets me in. Fuck, she tastes as good as I’d hoped. Even kissing, her movements are less practised than other women I’ve been with, hundreds of nameless faces which I’d be hard pressed to remember. They were women who wanted a SEAL or a biker in their bed just for their cock as though who it was connected to didn’t matter. Her pseudo innocence is more exciting than any polished move I’ve experienced before.
I might be controlling the kiss, but it’s her who’s devouring me. My cock hardens to the point it’s almost painful.
She’s eager, almost desperate, making me wonder why I haven’t pushed her before. But hell, I was trying to do the right thing. Now, though, I’m going to be selfish and take something for me, hoping to fuck I don’t hurt her in the process. I’ve been clear, I can’t promise her anything when I don’t know what I want for myself. I can only pray she’s going into this with her eyes open.
Tearing my lips from hers, I gasp, “Clothes off.” Releasing my hold on her arms, I allow her to step away.
She stares, her lip trembles, but I don’t relent. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it my way. When I raise my eyebrow in challenge, she responds.
I wouldn’t call it a striptease, it’s more like ripping off a Band-Aid as she turns away and tears the shirt off over her head. Without pausing she wriggles out of those jeans, almost forgetting until the last moment to toe off her shoes.
“And the rest,” I instruct when she’s standing in a plain cotton bra and the least sexy panties I’ve ever seen. Even so, my cock’s at full mast and I can’t remember ever seeing a sight that was better.
A moment’s hesitation, after which she straightens her shoulders and unclips the bra, slipping the straps down her arms. Next, she bends as she pushes those oversized panties down, inadvertently giving me a glorious view of her ass.
I’ve fucked women, biker bitches, beauty queens and once a low-budget film star. I never wanted for attention as a SEAL nor as a biker. Women preened themselves hoping for some attention from me. I’m not being arrogant, it’s just how it was. Most nights I could take my pick of what I wanted the most.
Today, I’m limited to one choice, and I’ll be fucked if she’s not perfect. A small voice inside me tells me she’s not what I’d have gone for in the past, but hell, I must have been crazy.
“Turn around,” I say gruffy.
Her body moves as though she’s sucking air down into her lungs, then, with arms over her breasts, she turns to face me. As I stare, she lowers her face, and drops her hands.
Her ass, as I’ve already noted, is heart shaped, her buttocks rounded with flesh I can grasp when I pound into her. Her breasts I see are full now they’re out of their confines with nipples that harden under the caress from my eyes. Her stomach, now she’s back to a proper diet, is slightly rounded, and her pubic hair is neatly trimmed allowing me to see, as I’d already guessed, she’s a natural redhead.
“You’re fuckin’ perfect,” I breathe. Her eyes come up to my face, and I’m driven to answer the unspoken question. “I don’t lie, Cat. You’re perfect to me.”
“You’re overdressed,” she challenges.
“Yeah? Thing is, Cat, if I let my cock out to play, I’m not going to last long. First, I want to taste you and hear you scream as you come on my tongue.” I do nonetheless rid myself of my t-shirt, ripping it over my head.
“I’m not perfect, you are,” she tells me huskily, and hell her tongue comes out to lick her lips.
“On the bed, Cat.” My tone is full of command. When she’s settled with her head on the pillows, I add, “Spread your legs.”
“What?”
“I want to see you.”
“But…”
I cock an eyebrow at her, waiting until she obeys. Fuck me, even her cunt is pretty, and glistening I’m pleased to see. She clearly likes a man who takes charge in the bedroom, she’s already turned on.
Her headboard is slatted, perfect if I had handcuffs on me. But I don’t, so I bind her with words instead.
“Hands above your head, Cat. Hold on to the slats and don’t let go.”
Again a look of confusion, but she does what she’s told. Raising her head so she can watch me stalk up the bed on my hands and knees, I wonder about blindfolding her and assaulting her senses unseen, but dismiss the idea, enjoying too much the sense of wonder in her green eyes.
As my intentions become clear, I question whether anyone’s gone down on her before. If they have, I don’t mind the competition. I’ve always strived to be the best I can in any endeavour I take on.
I’ll make my Cat purr if it’s the last thing I do.
Hungry for her taste, I can’t wait any longer. I lower my mouth, using my tongue to lick her clit, then swiping it downward, delve into her cunt. My taste buds leap into action. She’s so fucking sweet, it makes me salivate more, my juices mingling with hers.
“Jeremiah!”
How I wish it was my own name she’s calling. Not that of a person who doesn’t exist. But although I could correct her, I retain some semblance of sanity and resist. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.
I proceed to lick, suck and nip, using all the ammunition in my arsenal as I rouse her to fever pitch. Suddenly, I feel hands in my hair.
“What did I tell you?” I growl, stopping all activity.
A quick learner, her hands recede, and I pick up the pace once again. Through my hand on her stomach, I feel her muscles rippling, and her thighs unconsciously form a vice around my head, keeping me tight to her, but it’s no problem, I’m happy like this.
Even more so when a keening sound comes out of her mouth. She’s close. She goes taut, her body tight. Raising my eyes, I see her back bow off the bed as she comes with a scream.
I continue to lick and suck, bringing her down gently, then achieve my objective of sending her to the peak once again. Raising my face, I rest my chin on her mound, watching her lungs heaving, and that gorgeous flush on her face darkening her freckles, making them more obvious.
Now, at last, I ease myself up and free my dick. Reaching into my pocket for a condom, I open the packet and slide the latex on fast.
She still hasn’t come back to herself fully as I raise myself onto my knees, lifting her legs and putting them over my shoulders.
Lining myself up, I push in with my dick. She’s so tight, I wonder how long it’s been, but I’m always up for a challenge. Slowly I work myself in as her mouth opens in an O of surprise.
A swivel of my hips moves my cock over her sweet spot.
“Jeremiah!” Her exclamation suggests no one’s found that before. “Jeez, Jeremiah. Oh God…”
I’m quite enjoying her running commentary, at least it’s showing me what works. But when she clamps down with her muscles, I’m groaning myself. “So fuckin’ good, babe. Yeah, that’s right.”
“Jeremiah!”
I don’t even hate the strange moniker coming out of her mouth, it’s me who’s fucking her, and it’s her who’s making it hard for me to demonstrate my usual stamina. Normally, whether just vaginal or with clitoral stimulation, I like the woman to come a couple of times more before I let myself go. But with her, she’s sorely challenging my control over my own body.
Thank fuck! All the signs are there. She’s tightening, throttling my cock. I try to think of anything to keep from spilling inside her until she’s gone first.
She’s there!
I can’t hold on any longer, as her body pulsates I’m with her, cum shooting up through my dick and flooding the condom.
My hips jerk of their own volition as I come as hard as I can ever remember.
I hold myself still, relishing the feeling as her body shudders with aftershocks.
I feel I should apologise, that it was over so fast, but one glance at her face shows me there’s no need. She’s wearing a blissful satisfied smile, her cheeks showing dimples, her freckles pronounced as her breathing begins to slow. A low satiated rumble comes from her mouth.
I did it! I made my Cat fucking purr.
Reluctantly leaving the warmth of her cunt, I pull out, holding onto the condom, pulling it off and tying a knot in it. I drop it down by the side of the bed to deal with later, then roll onto my side, pulling her to me.
She turns to rest her cheek against my chest. I start to stroke her hair while analysing my feelings.
I’ve never wanted to cuddle after sex, normally politely dressing and showering, and casually handing the woman her clothes if she hasn’t got the hint first. If I’m up for another round, I might offer a drink, but I don’t hold her, not like I’m doing now. The relaxation that comes from the physical release normally dissipates fast, and I’ve a natural mistrust not to fall asleep with a stranger.
But Cat’s not a stranger, and I could easily close my eyes and drop off. It’s different with her.
Is it because we’ve become friends? Or is it more?
“Jeremiah—”
“Hush,” I tell her, as her voice reverberates against my skin. “Give me a moment.”
She might think I need time to recover, but that’s not it. My body’s trained to be ready to move fast, honed by my time as a SEAL when I could never relax with foes likely to come after me, a state of readiness I’ve never shaken off. No, I need time to think—what to admit to myself, and what to say to her.
Do I want to return to the Satan’s Devils? If I don’t, what does life hold for me? If I went back, could I take Cat with me? Would it be right to uproot her? But what’s she got to stay for here?
Or, could I stay with her? Make a go of the farm, set up my own business. Would I be restless or content?
Stormy's Thunder: Satan's Devils MC Utah Page 20