‘Are you in the tub?’
‘I am.’ I said. ‘And you’re interrupting me.’
He laughed but stayed on the phone. ‘Well I won’t keep you long, just wanted to let you know Illarion was asking for you.’
‘How is he?’
‘He’s alright, back to his usual brooding self.’
‘That’s good to hear.’
‘You in tomorrow?’
‘No.’ I said. ‘I’m on leave, Belfort’s orders.’
‘Oh.’
When the conversation reached a lull, I reached over to hang up. ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Ace, wait.’
‘Can we not do this now?’
‘No.’ He said firmly. ‘You can hang up and I’ll keep calling, and if you switch off your phone, I’m going to come over.’
‘You’re wasting your time.’
‘Maybe.’ He said. ‘Maybe not. So, don’t make me cut your bath time short.’
‘Fine.’ I conceded. ‘What do you want?’
He laughed again. ‘Glad you haven’t lost your charm.’
‘I’m hanging up.’
‘Don’t.’ He chuckled. ‘I just wanted to talk to you.’
‘Then talk.’
‘You bailed last night, I thought you’d have stayed.’
When I remained silent, he continued.
‘He doesn’t know I’m talking to you, he’d probably demote me if he did, but I’m risking it because I know you still care about each other, and it’s okay for you to feel conflicted, I get it Ace.’
‘Aurel.’ I said firmly. ‘I care about you, you know I do, but this is none of your business.’
‘I beg to differ. He’s my best friend and he just barely walked away with his life.’
‘I was there.’ I spat. The heat of the water was nothing compared to the heat of the anger rising inside me.
‘Then you know what he went through. He needs you.’
‘He doesn’t need me.’
‘No one knows what that was like, only you.’
‘He nearly died because of me.’ I spat.
‘He doesn’t blame you.’
‘He should.’
‘You’re the only one who knows what it’s like.’ He said again.
‘No need to remind me. I remember the Serum. Believe me.’
‘Then help him.’
Fuck. My stomach dropped and suddenly the chocolate wasn’t sweet and enjoyable anymore. I ran a hand through my hair and sucked in a deep breath.
‘I’ll come over later.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Yeah.’ I hung up and slipped my head under the water, closing my eyes.
I owed him this.
***
I stood at the door like a nervous schoolgirl, reminding myself of the first time I stood waiting for him to go on our first date together.
He was so excited and I was sweating bullets, but we’d both been looking forward to it, the next step in the relationship, but this, this was painful. This was agony personified.
A few seconds passed since I knocked and a few seconds after that, the door opened and Illarion stopped abruptly when his eyes landed on me.
‘Ace…hi?’
‘Can I come in?’
He nodded wordlessly and stepped aside.
His eyes were dark, haunted, like they were yesterday when he woke up. Peeling my eyes away, I swept the apartment. Pill bottles, blister packs and discarded take out trash lined the counter.
Illarion was the most meticulous person I’d ever met, this man before me was a shadow of his former self.
Like he sensed me looking, he moved over to the kitchen and started packing up the trash like he realized how quickly he spiraled and how quickly it could happen to any of us.
‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He muttered, sweeping his arm over the bench, collecting the waste in one go. ‘I was going to tidy up…I wasn’t expecting company and then you—’
‘How are you?’ I asked softly, stopping his rant.
‘Better. Thank you, the wound healed. You healed it.’
His emotions were all over the place and his words were scattered, his eyes darted frantically from one corner of the room to the next.
‘Hey.’ I said. ‘You doing okay?’
When he finally stopped putting things away, he exhaled deeply, and I turned to look at him.
My heart fragmented. This was not the Illarion I knew, this was a shattered, broken man.
‘Can I get you anything?’ He asked softly. ‘I have coffee and some juice, I think, maybe there’s—'
‘No, Illarion I’m fine.’
This was so much harder than I thought. It wasn’t just the Serum, or nearly losing him. It was what this meant—Illarion lost a part of himself, a part you can never get back. I knew how bad that hurt, I knew how helpless and miserable it made you and I sure as hell wasn’t about to downplay what he’d gone through.
Though it did still pique my interest, what kind of Serum did they use? I’d never heard of one that allowed your mind to fully function but close off almost everything else. The depravity of the human mind and the need to control people never ceased to amaze me, so this didn’t surprise me in the least—there were bound to be developments, it was only a matter of time, that and the gas…
‘Are you sure? I can make us some lunch.’
‘No, thank you. I just came to see how you were.’
His dark eyes saw right through me and that tiny fragment of composure I built, fell right down.
‘I’m fine, Ace.’ He said softly, taking the half-drunk cup of coffee from the counter. ‘You don’t have to worry about me.’
‘I am worried.’
The lies would come hard and strong.
‘It’s easy to fall into the trap of denial. It’s hard to see past the walls, but you will find yourself again.’ Wetting my lips, I took a deep breath. ‘The compulsion and the feeling of being submissive will fade.’
After all these years and everything Illarion saw, I think now, for the first time ever, he truly knew and that put us in a very different position.
There was a moment of hesitation on his part, he slowly replaced the coffee and moved toward me, but when I stepped back, he stopped by the arm chair, wrapping his fingers around the leather.
‘Just keep fighting, keep positive… keep busy.’ I added as an afterthought.
‘Stay.’
Our eyes met and everything inside me unraveled.
‘Stay.’ He repeated.
‘I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.’
‘Ace, please.’ His voice faltered, and he dropped heavily to his knees. ‘I can’t.’
His eyes scalded me and without warning, they brimmed with tears and he didn’t even blink when they spilled out over his cheeks.
A shallow breath caught on my lips and I felt all the pain inside him.
He’d been keeping himself shielded, poised and collected but inside, where the real Illarion was, there lived so much darkness, so much agony it nearly ripped me in two and I couldn’t begin to imagine how he was dealing with it all.
Blinking back my own tears, I walked up to him and stopped. For a moment silence filled the air and when he reached up for my hand, I held my breath and when I didn’t pull back, he wrapped his arms around my waist and he broke.
It wasn’t just the Serum, or the break up, it was life, everything he knew, everything he held on to.
Everything was falling down around him, and I knew exactly what that felt like. We’d both been here before, I’d seen him fall, but not like this…this was different.
‘It’s okay.’ I whispered. ‘You’re going to be okay.’
Gently pulling back, I eased his eyes up to mine.
‘This will pass, I promise you.’
Before he could say a word, I forced a tight smile and held my hand out to him.
‘Get some rest, when you wake, you�
�ll feel much better.’
He didn’t argue when I led him to his bedroom or when I stood by the door until he sat down. He opened his mouth and then closed it.
‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘Thank you.’ He whispered.
***
When I left Illarion I made my way back to my apartment via a long, scenic walk. I’d missed about fifteen calls from Matt and Aurel.
I clicked through the voicemails, the few from Aurel were asking how the visit went and the few from Matt were him checking on me to make sure I was alright.
Bowing my head, I replaced my phone—that constant worry would never go away, he’d always have that in the back of his mind which is precisely why I never wanted anyone to know what took place last year. I wanted to move on, hell, I was already past it, but here I was, constantly being dragged right back into it all.
Reaching my apartment, I closed the door with a gentle thud, disconnected the doorbell and switched my phone to silent.
All I wanted to do was curl up in bed and fall asleep. I hoped that Illarion would find peace because I would never wish him anything other than that and I hoped that somehow, I would find it too.
But as the night went on and the morning light chased away the dark, I blinked through the haze. I hadn’t moved from the edge of my bed, staring at the wall. I didn’t know if I was shell-shocked from seeing Illarion like that, or if I was just in shock. All I did know for sure was that it was one long night. The first in a while where I didn’t fall asleep at all.
Rubbing my face, I stopped. A very distinctive feeling rose within me, the same feeling back in the alleyway and the hotel. Someone was following me, someone who knew their way around shadows, someone well trained—a Sensitive.
I expelled a long breath and slid my hand under the pillow, wrapping my fingers around the cold, metal handle of Spock.
Checking that the arrows were loaded, I slipped out of the bedroom and kept flat to the wall.
I stepped out into the kitchen and made my way through the silent apartment making a line for the fire escape.
As the cool air rushed inside, chilling my exposed skin, I peeked out, hoping that whoever it was, wouldn’t choose that moment to shoot me in the face.
Taking a calculated risk, I sucked in a breath, pulled the door open all the way and rushed out onto the fire escape and held Spock up.
There was no one.
My blood rushed around in my head.
Oh God. I ran my hand over my hair. The night was deathly still, nothing but the usual cat down below, moved. I was officially losing it. I was completely paranoid, that had to be it.
I went back inside and shut the door, dropping Spock on the table. I sat and ran my hands over my face.
Yep. Officially losing it.
Although I had today off, I was far from rested, and whoever my visitor was, they were starting to really set me on edge now. I still had a brief to attend later today and we were supposed to meet up and discuss what happened at the hotel and how we were ambushed.
None of those things were appealing, especially not since I had no sleep, but I wasn’t in the mood for any lectures, so, I armed myself with every bit of information I could find and put in a lot more effort in getting ready.
After I checked the fire escape once more, swept the room again and had a shower, I dried off and rummaged through my wardrobe.
Deciding on a slim, form fitting burgundy dress, I smoothed it down and added a small gold belt and completed the look with nude pumps and a black handbag, in it I stuck my gun, a spare pair of flats and all the files I’d collected.
Checking my makeup, I applied a light pink lipstick and touched up the liner. Perfect. All I had to do was smooth my hair into a neat bob and I was set. At least I’d look good if I was going to get blasted. Silver lining.
Catching an Uber to the office, I skipped the coffee and made my way upstairs and into the meeting room. Only Riley and Belfort were there so far, which gave me a few minutes to catch my breath and get my notes ready.
‘Sorry to bring you in on your day off.’ Belfort said.
‘It’s no problem.’ I nodded.
‘I understand Director Lazarev will make a full recovery?’ Riley asked.
‘He will, yes.’
If he only knew the extent of the long-lasting wounds. He was lucky, they all were. I couldn’t really think of any mortal drug that did that to non-Sensitives.
‘And you?’
My eyes darted between the two.
‘I’m fine, Sir, thank you.’
‘It’s alright if you’re not.’
‘I am.’ I glanced at the clock. ‘Is anyone else joining us?’
‘Yes, I’ve asked everyone to come in a little later. We wanted to run through some things with you first, if that’s alright?’
‘Of course.’
‘Good.’ Belfort said producing the footage from Illarion’s bodycam.
My stomach dropped in an instant.
‘We’ve gone through the mission reports, we’ve gone through your personnel file and we cannot make sense of this, we’re hoping you can shed some light.’
‘On what, exactly?’
‘The man in the video, Reicher, it’s obvious you don’t know him, but he knows you, which isn’t a great feat—you’re famous in the world of espionage, ironically. What we can’t figure out is, why he kept talking about Dalca.’
‘That’s a good question, sir.’ I nodded at Belfort. ‘And I honestly don’t know. Dalca was crazy, he kept talking about the day we’d all fall, because the non-Sensitives would take us out.’
‘Do you really think that’s what he was afraid of?’
‘Afraid? No.’ I shook my head. ‘Dalca wasn’t afraid. The only time I saw fear in his eyes, was right before I killed him.’
Belfort shifted in his seat.
‘So, this man, these Collectors are trying to finish what he started?’
‘I have no doubt. Dalca had followers everywhere. He was firm in his belief, however insane. But those codes, they unlock something important, something he wanted me to see, to know.’
‘And you think it’s about this rumored take down of your kind?’
‘Who knows.’ I shrugged. ‘I didn’t take him seriously, at least not when he was talking about this stuff.’
‘We can’t afford not to take this seriously.’ Riley added, joining the conversation for the first time. ‘If they’re cooking up some sort of weapon, we could all be at risk especially now that we have that note.’
‘I don’t think the weapon, even if it did exist, would harm non-Sensitives and you’re right about the note, I’m looking into it.’
‘All right, good, you keep on top of that and we will keep working on our end.’
‘Good idea.’ I looked up at the Illarion in the video, his head was hanging, eyes vacant and unfocused. I swallowed hard.
‘You did right by your team.’ Belfort said, bringing my attention back to him. ‘I know you question your actions. I can see it on your face.’
Looking down, I nodded.
‘How did they find us?’ Riley asked, looking up at the footage.
‘They sniffed us out. Did exactly what you wanted us to do.’
‘Despite what I’m sure you’re thinking, Agent Hart, you’re not responsible for what happened, without your quick actions, the outcome wouldn’t have been quite as mild.’
Mild. A shiver rolled down my spine, yeah, like Illarion lying on a slab downtown.
‘They knew we’d be there.’ I said, at risk of sounding like a broken record. ‘Probably the same someone who busted me and Matt.’
‘We have our standard operating procedures, only people with a need to know clearance were read in. You know that. This had to be something else.’
‘Maybe those procedures need to be looked at again. This is the second mission relating to the same information that’s been targeted.’
‘You’re right to be c
oncerned.’ Belfort said promptly. ‘And I assure you, we are working on it.’
‘And what stage are you at, the contemplative?’
Neither of them responded.
‘This needs to be taken seriously, Sir, it’s becoming less coincidental and more of a targeted attempt on our lives. Again.’
‘We are taking it seriously, Ace. I assure you.’ He said definitively.
‘Thank you, I appreciate everything you’re doing.’
Riley looked over at me with a gentle smile and the uneasiness in the pit of my stomach grew. He never smiled, certainly not like this. Something was up.
‘What is it?’ I asked.
‘Peyton’s been digging.’
Oh.
‘We don’t know how deep she got, but I wanted to give you a heads up. She’s growing restless and she’s adamant that something is being kept from her.’
Letting out a long breath, I leaned my elbow on the table and dropped my head, shaking it. ‘She’s not going to stop.’
‘We’re keeping her occupied with bogus reports, mission briefs. She won’t find the real files.’
‘If she does?’
‘She won’t. We have both the Agency and the FBI on it.’
‘Okay.’ I nodded, forcing myself to try and relax and try to believe that they knew what they were doing.
‘It’s been eleven months, Sir. Why now?’
‘I don’t know, Ace.’ He shook his head, frowning. ‘But we’re keeping your past hidden, I promised you when you signed on and that hasn’t changed.’
The familiar pull of the connection linking me and Illarion, alerted me to several approaching footsteps. ‘They’re here.’
Belfort pulled the footage down and in its place the FBI logo appeared.
‘Thank you for coming in, team.’ He said gesturing for everyone to be seated.
Once the attention was returned to Belfort, I slowly opened myself up and let a small trickle of thoughts and feelings fill the air and I carefully picked what I let in.
Riley was right, Peyton was all over the place, she was angry and confused, extremely suspicious and a bit jealous. Her eyes narrowed at me, though I didn’t need to look at her to know that I was the object of all of those feelings. I kept my eyes ahead on Belfort, taking in everything he was saying, while I continued searching the feelings floating around the room.
Jack of Hart- Wild Card Page 7