It was a feeling, a sensation I remembered very well…it was on the tip of my tongue like a word I couldn’t quite think of, but I’d known it intimately.
It was safe, comforting, something I’d only ever felt once before Illarion, long ago…
No…my heart stammered.
There was no fear, or apprehension, I knew I was safe, my heart knew it didn’t need to be afraid.
My feet carried me to my front door and without even realizing what I was doing, I reached for the handle and as the buzz grew louder in my head it all connected.
The wind was punched from my lungs.
No, this wasn’t possible, there was no way in hell.
Forcing a deep breath in, I gripped the cool metal and pulled the door open.
‘Hello Ace.’
‘Alex.’
Chapter Twelve
Illarion
Ajolt of fear rushed through me, forcing the last shreds of sleep from my body. I was up, alert, looking around. Nothing was out of order, but my heart wouldn’t slow, there was pain, anger, sadness and on and on it went, ruthless, all consuming. I gripped the edge of my collar pulling it down, trying desperately to suck in air to no avail.
Pulling off my shirt, I shook my head trying to filter through the thoughts, none of it made sense. There was no nightmare, no vivid dream to bring forth so much agony and emotion and when I got up, trying to clear the lingering thoughts, my heart stalled—it was Ace, these were here feelings, not mine.
Dropping the shirt at my feet I rushed for my phone. Something was happening, her turmoil was suffocating and scattering my thoughts, I couldn’t hold onto anything for more than a second before it was ripped from my fingers.
Dialing her number with shaking hands, I paced. She wasn’t answering.
Every instinct inside me told me to go.
Throwing on a pair of jeans and boots I threw on the first sweater I could find and rushed out of my room.
The connection pulsed erratically inside me, throwing me off from whatever it was that was causing her this much distress, my mind raced from all corners, each scenario making my heart fragment more, she was hurting, her pain sliced through me. Anger poked at my insides like a fire stoker.
Should have stayed with her.
***
Ace
My eyes and my brain refused to get on the same damn page.
There was no way I was seeing what I was seeing. But the way my heart scattered, told me that I was the one who wasn’t on the same page.
The voice belonged to him, the way he said my name, the smile, it was Alex, through and through.
He held out an extended arm and I stared at him like a prom reject. Alex’s smile, the smile I’d fallen in love, the smile I’d dreamt about, the smile that haunted me, widened. Alex was here, standing in front of me, alive.
There was no way, how could it be real?
My room was lit by a single dull bulb I’d turn on when I was working, and in that dim glow, his haunted eyes broke through my walls searching my face and that’s when I realized that I was seeing what I was seeing.
Alex took a step closer, a step I watched like a hawk, and then he stepped closer again, making that small space between us, disappear.
My breath hitched and when he reached out for me, I jerked back, almost falling over my own feet and when he tried to take hold of my hand, I swatted it away.
The shock was quickly replaced by anger. I was a second away from barreling out into the hallway and running away until my higher reasoning kicked in and reminded me that this was my apartment and I wouldn’t be doing the barreling.
When he moved toward me again, I stepped forward and shoved him. This was not okay. Nothing about this was okay.
Alex didn’t retaliate when I shoved him again and he didn’t retaliate when I slapped him and when I tried to turn, to hide the brimming tears he grabbed my wrist and pulled me against him.
‘God.’ He whispered, his breath too close, his heart too loud. ‘I’d wondered what this moment would be like, for years.’
He pressed his hand to my lower back and whispered a breath of my name again.
His voice cut right through me and without much more effort than a gentle caress, everything around me, fell.
‘Sergeant.’ He whispered; a soft, disbelieving laugh filled the air. ‘God, it’s so good to see you with my own eyes.’
‘Alex…’ I pulled back, his emerald eyes were full of tears, but there was no pain, no angst, nothing I’d seen in them the last time we were this close.
Whatever words formed on the tip of my tongue they just weren’t enough, they just couldn’t express or begin to describe what was going through my mind.
Pulling back from him, I stood at a distance, trying to let my mind settle and the rest of me catch up.
His lips parted like he was about to say something, but when I stepped back a little further, they closed.
‘The last time I saw you…’
‘I know.’ He said quietly, ‘There’s so much I have to tell you.’
‘You were alive, this whole time.’
His eyes flicked away for a moment but not before I saw a flash of remorse, and a moment later, they softened, finding mine again.
‘I couldn’t come to you sooner.’
‘How dare you?’ I kept my arms wrapped tightly around my chest.
‘Ace, I can explain—’
‘No.’ I ran my hands through my hair, hating how my heart stuttered. ‘No, you do not get to come back into my life and think this is okay!’
‘I know it’s not.’ He closed the door and stood by it. ‘I know.’
‘You’re a god damned son of a bitch, Alex.’
‘This a lot to take in,’ he said softly. ‘I imagine this is what it would have been like for you when you came back.’
My eyes snapped back to him. ‘You knew?’
When he didn’t answer, I scoffed.
‘Of course, you knew.’
‘Ace, I came back for a reason.’
‘You could have come to me, when I went to New York, when I was alone. I grieved you!’
‘I am so sorry.’
‘Don’t you come here and give me some lame ass excuse about why you had to stay away.’
‘I couldn’t do that to you and Illarion.’
A short breath caught in my lungs. Illarion. Oh God. He was on his way; I quickly found my phone and checked the screen.
Seventeen missed calls. Shit. There was no way he would have missed the mess of emotions that rolled through me like a derailed train.
‘Ace.’
‘Don’t touch me.’ I stepped back, jerking my hand away from him. ‘Illarion’s on his way. You should go.’
‘I can’t.’ He shook his head, standing his ground. ‘I have information, for both of you.’
Turning from him, I let a long, shaky breath free and when the hum inside me told me Illarion was nearing, I brushed past him and shook my head when he tried to stop me.
‘Fine.’ I said firmly. ‘But I have to tell him you’re here and hope to God that he doesn’t want to knock you on your ass.’
‘Okay.’
Slipping outside, I closed the door with a gentle thud, conscious not to bother my neighbors.
Composing myself, I leaned back against the wall, drew in a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. I only had seconds until Illarion got here, seconds to try and explain something I couldn’t even comprehend. I smoothed down my tank top just as the elevator opened down the hall and Illarion appeared.
His dark eyes searched me, every dark thought he was hanging onto, started to filter away. As soon as he was within reach, I pressed my palms to his chest stopping him from getting closer.
‘Christ, Ace.’ He breathed. ‘What happened?’
‘I need to tell you something.’
‘What happened?’ he asked again and gripped my hands in his, looking me over, checking for signs of injury.
; ‘I’m okay.’ I said, ‘Nothing happened to me.’
‘What’s going on?’
‘The creeper came back.’ I started.
Illarion’s expression hardened, he was about to reach for my door, but I sidestepped him and gripped his arm, coaxing him back.
‘He didn’t do anything, turns out he was a friendly and we weren’t wrong about the military angle.’
‘I’m not following?’
‘Ila, he works for someone we know.’
His eyes narrowed and when I saw that he was with me, I continued.
‘He bailed but he told me I needed to speak to his contact face to face.’
‘Okay.’
‘The contact is inside.’
Illarion’s expression hardened again, his eyes flying up to my door.
‘Ila.’ I said softly. ‘I don’t know how else to say this, Alex is here. He’s alive.’
Chapter Thirteen
Ace
It was almost as though he didn’t hear me, and the only sign that he did, was the brief flicker of confusion that filled his eyes before it was replaced with anger and then he looked at me again and stepped to the side. I moved and let him past.
He looked at my door and then back at me, a moment of hesitation crossed his mind and then, when he opened the door and his eyes swung up, meeting Alex’s, everything came undone.
A fury of emotions raged through Illarion, memories of their friendship, training together in the field, briefings about Operation Lullaby and seeing Alex’s body. His eyes flared, and then his shoulders tensed.
Illarion was still for the longest time, even his emotions settled and then they exploded. He walked into the apartment, slowly and purposefully and I was bracing myself to tear apart the two men who looked like they were about to make an MMA match look like amateur hour.
But neither acted. Illarion was hurting and Alex understood, but there was so much neither could, nor would ever say.
Alex stood back watching Illarion carefully and when he walked up to him, he stood his ground, keeping his eyes focused on his.
‘Why are you here?’ Illarion stepped forward. ‘Why now?’
‘You’re in danger.’ He replied. ‘We all are.’
‘Explain.’
‘You should both sit, and I’d suggest calling your partner.’ Alex turned to Illarion. ‘And yours.’ He added looking at me.
‘Fine.’ Illarion shot, taking me by the hand, leading me outside.
‘Ila?’
He shook his head, standing silently at the entrance to my apartment. Whether or not he was going to go outside, was irrelevant at this point. He was seriously unstable, he couldn’t get his emotions in check, he couldn’t align his heart and mind, just like me.
I opened my mouth and then closed it again. What was there to say? Instead, I pressed my hand over his bicep and gently squeezed until I got his attention.
His eyes searched mine. He let out a long breath and shook his head in disbelief again.
‘Can you call Aurel here?’ He asked gently, looking back at Alex who’d made himself comfortable at the small dining table.
‘Yeah, of course.’ I nodded, giving him a tight smile. ‘What should I tell him?’
‘Nothing.’ He shook his head. ‘Yet.’
Slipping out of ear shot, I dialed Aurel and watched Illarion walk back in. He sat down and looked at Alex.
This was going to be one hell of a day.
***
Aurel sat silently. Had it not been a meeting under these circumstances, it would have been the funniest scene had someone just walked in. Four deadly, highly trained spies sitting around a table which barely seated two people with weapons placed in the center. Each one more dangerous than the next, each one with a different advantage.
There was more brain and brawn in this one room than there was at the entire bureau. Matt would have been pissed if I told him that, so instead, I opted for a more neutral approach when I rang him.
That was an hour ago, an hour since Aurel came in, and for the first time since I’d known him, sat in silence.
‘Matt’s here.’ I said, clearing my throat.
Illarion nodded without turning to me while Alex gave me a gentle smile. I quickly averted my gaze and got up letting him in.
When he stepped through the door, he looked across at the three seated men, then me.
‘Don’t need to be a Sensitive to know some tense shit is up.’
‘You’re right about that.’ I muttered, gesturing to the spare seat.
He shook his head, nudging me toward it. ‘I’ll stand.’
‘Why are you here, Alex?’ I asked, sitting.
‘This.’ He produced a flash drive and set it down in the middle, between all the guns. ‘Got a laptop?’
‘Matt.’ I called, ‘Can you pass my laptop, it’s just beside the lamp.’
‘Here.’ He set it down, giving Alex a quick look.
Plugging in the flash drive, I handed it to Alex.
‘This is what everything has been about, this is what Dalca needed you for, this is what your parents died to protect.’
Every word hammered into my skull like a battering ram, shoving down every defense I’d ever learned to hold up.
Illarion shot him a warning look and turned the laptop. Before he said a word, I felt the shift inside him and he gripped the edge of the table, rubbing his face with his free hand.
‘What is it?’ I asked.
Alex looked at Illarion and dropped his gaze.
‘Ila?’ I moved to reach the laptop, but he cupped his hand over mine, pressing it flat to the table.
‘You’re scaring me.’ I shot Alex a look, ‘What is this?’
‘This is the end.’ Alex said simply. ‘Our end.’
When Illarion remained silent, I twisted my fingers through his. Finally, he turned to me. ‘Everything I’ve fought to keep you from, everything I’ve done has been for nothing.’
My eyes darted to Alex, he seemed to share the same sentiment.
‘What are you talking about?’ I turned my eyes back to Illarion and pulled the laptop toward me. Matt leaned down reading over my shoulder.
‘No.’ Matt shook his head, taking the words right out of my mouth. ‘This can’t be right.’
‘It is, unfortunately. I’ve been working to dig this information up for more than ten years.’ Alex frowned.
Illarion shot him a look.
‘From our first days at the Agency, to Operation Lullaby.’ He spoke to Illarion. ‘This has been on my desk.’
‘And you chose to keep this from me?’
‘I was ordered to.’
Illarion didn’t bite.
‘What is Operation Lullaby?’ Matt asked, keeping his eyes on Illarion.
‘Alex and I were assigned to watch Ace while she was serving in Iraq. Alex was stationed with her, he was killed. Ace moved to New York and I became her handler and partner.’ Illarion explained to Matt.
‘You died?’ Matt’s brows shot up.
‘I died.’ I muttered, drawing his eyes to me. ‘Kind of happens in our world.’
He didn’t say anything to that.
‘So, Dalca was right. Everyone was right.’ I muttered. ‘He was trying to save me.’
After verbalizing that admission, I felt like I understood true fear.
‘Whatever this is,’ Alex nodded to the same words Illarion had read out loud to me yesterday, ‘Is leading to something big, and I think it has to do with Project Adam.’
‘And what about The Legion?’
‘The Legion?’ Alex’s brows furrowed. ‘I’m not sure what that is.’
‘You expect us to believe that?’
‘Hey, I’m not here to lie to you, I’ve never heard of them.’
Illarion considered him for a moment and then conceded, ‘Fine, I want everything you have, everything you’ve worked on.’
‘You’ll have it and I’ll get my contact onto the Legion. We’ll work out wh
at they are.’
What a fucking turn of irony. I got up, rage shaking my body.
No one else moved a muscle. We all knew what this meant, every single one of us.
We had been fucked by the very people we were working for. The Agency, the government, people who were meant to be on our side had completely blindsided us.
‘This can’t be real?’ Matt asked, turning to Alex and then Illarion all while Aurel stayed uncharacteristically quiet. ‘There’s no way the entire world’s government can be hiding something this big. From everyone, from you, for God’s sake.’
‘They can hide anything.’ Illarion muttered. ‘And they have, and we’ve been too God damned blind to see it.’
‘Ila, this isn’t on you.’
‘The hell it isn’t, Ace.’ He shook his head, looking up at me for the first time. ‘I placed you in their hands, I kept insisting we were safest with them.’
‘And Dalca was batshit crazy.’ I spat. ‘You cannot be thinking that he knew what he was talking about.’
‘Well he wasn’t lying, was he?’
Aurel cleared his throat, getting up. ‘Dalca knew we were being played.’
‘Looks that way.’ I bit and looked across at Alex.
‘You knew all this time? When we were together, and you didn’t say anything.’
‘I couldn’t.’
‘Right. Because of you orders.’ He flinched, and I didn’t care. ‘You knew Dalca would come for me.’
Silence fell, and a heartbeat turned into eternity. ‘Yes, I knew.’
‘You son of a bitch.’ Illarion breathed, getting up. ‘And you have the audacity to show your face now, after all this time.’
‘You think it was easy for me to stand by?’
‘Don’t you dare!’ I shot. ‘You do not get to speak about what is and isn’t easy.’
‘Ace I never knew he would do—’
‘What? Torture her?’ Illarion interjected, moving toward him. ‘Or that he’d find some other way to harness her power?’
‘Illarion.’ I urged. ‘Don’t.’
His face hardened, and he walked away from the table, out onto the balcony.
‘What does this mean?’ Matt asked quietly.
‘Do you want to, or should I?’ Aurel asked Alex.
Alex nodded, leaning back in his seat.
Jack of Hart- Wild Card Page 19