Tangling my fingers through his hair, I gripped the base of his skull and pulled his face down to mine. I threw everything into the action, ignoring every sharp breath that somehow refused to form and every tremble building through my muscles.
As always, he knew exactly how to move and what to do, I was safe in his arms and every action he took, was filled with love and care.
When too much pressure mounted and Illarion slowed, giving me a dangerous look, I dropped my hand down cupping it over his.
‘I want you.’ I managed to breathe.
He gave me a quick smile and when he moved to reposition himself, I pressed my hand against his chest, pushing him back slightly, a very curious look met me and when I pushed him down and climbed on top, he smiled, bringing his hand to my cheek.
With a low and precise move, I lowered myself over him and leaned down, letting his arms form a circle around me.
The growl that caught in his throat as our lips crashed, made me light up like a New York City skyline.
He smiled against my mouth, letting out a whisper of my name before he swiftly sat up, keeping our bodies together.
‘You don’t like being under me, do you?’ I whispered against his lips, while the struggle for power continued.
His eyes narrowed dangerously, and he pulled my body against his, drawing a ragged breath from me.
‘I love anything that makes you breathe like that.’
‘God.’ I ground out, throwing my head back. ‘When you say things like that, what is a girl to do?’
He chuckled, his lips trailing over my neck drawing more ragged breaths from me as our rhythm synchronized.
As the pressure mounted and the crest peaked, Illarion lowered me onto the sheets, keeping our rhythm going, keeping the pressure firm. I wrapped my leg around his, pulling him down against me, feeling everything inside start to spiral.
He buried his face in the curve of my neck, keeping his arm at the small of my back, arching me up toward him while the other, held my hands above my head.
In a move which kept me completely at his mercy, I felt nothing but trust and for the first time since falling apart I felt completely at ease.
When the explosive heat inside me started to grow, I brought his lips to mine, stifling every breathless cry against his mouth.
His hand fell to the nape of my neck, holding me close.
‘I love you, Ace.’ He whispered, bringing us both to the peak.
With each breathless word and tender kiss, I held on tighter, catching his rhythm until we were both moving in time, perfectly in tune and when the peak mounted, rocking us both, I cried out, falling into the sheets letting everything erupt.
As the joy of the moment filled my pores, the niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach where the Darkness simmered, drew my attention—it was growing, reacting to him.
Illarion’s arms tensed, drawing me to him and the low, animalistic growl he released met my broken breaths and I knew he’d met me right in the middle.
Collapsing beside him, I buried my face in his chest, letting the tremors settle and everything else escape my mind.
Not another word was spoken as I watched his eyes close and his walls go back up. I raised myself up on my elbows and looked down at him, reading his emotions, trying to dig past the very strong barrier he’d learned to hold up.
A part of me felt guilty, but the other, was too curious, too involved to let his secrecy slide.
‘Ila.’ I drew my hand over his cheek. ‘You okay?’
He looked up at me and then his eyes quickly flicked down, avoiding my gaze.
‘What’s going on?’
When he still didn’t answer me, I got it. Before he could say anything, I let out a long breath, pulling my head back slightly so we were face to face, I smiled, pressing my hand over his cheek.
‘You know he was just riling you up, Ila.’
‘He was right.’
‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘He wasn’t. Not even close.’
‘He watched you for eight years, Ace. I let you down the first day I met you.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I fell in love with you.’ He forced a tight smile, running his fingertips across my cheek. ‘I did the one thing that put you in danger the most.’
‘Ila, no.’
‘I should have stayed away.’
‘And miss out on all this?’
That brought a smile to his face.
‘Exactly. You love it. You love me, and all this craziness and everything being ten times more complicated than it is for every normal couple.’
‘Normal is overrated.’
‘It is, and imagine the wedding, I’m sure we’ll probably have to have snipers on the roof, security on the outside…’
‘Wedding?’
A wide smile spread across his face when I grinned. I reached over to my bedside table, pulled open the drawer and retrieved my ring.
Handing it to him, he cautiously looked at it before taking my hand.
‘Ask me again.’ I whispered.
‘Marry me, Ace?’
‘It would be my honor.’
‘Lyubov.’ He said, slipping the ring back on my finger. ‘The honor is all mine.’
***
Illarion left me for a few minutes to go and set up his workstation. He hid a gun next to mine in my nightstand, another one in my bathroom and a few outside in the dining room and kitchen.
He slipped back inside my room, quietly closing the door.
‘Everything set up?’
‘Yeah.’ He nodded, sitting back down beside me. ‘I’ve got surveillance on the building, snipers on the roof across the street and sensors on the fire escape.’
‘This is full on.’
‘Precautions. I don’t want to take any chances.’
He looked at me with a smile.
‘You okay?’ I asked softly.
‘I’m fine.’
‘You still try to lie to me.’ I shook my head, giving him a mock frown.
‘Sorry.’ He laid down, letting out a long breath.
‘Don’t do this to yourself, Ila.’
‘It’s nothing I don’t deserve.’
‘You weren’t responsible for what happened to me, I never blamed you.’
‘You left.’
A pang of hurt shot through him right into me. And this was it, the moment I knew would come and I couldn’t lie anymore.
I sucked in a deep breath and then controlled the exhale while I contemplated how to approach it.
When I left, it was quick, very little was discussed especially when I was a teary mess and Illarion wasn’t doing much better. It ended with me leaving my engagement ring, the necklace he’d bought me and packing all my things from his house, taking off.
The months following were hell. I was trying to fit in at the bureau, navigate the endless stream of political currents and dodge evil stares from Peyton whenever Matt and I were on assignment or hanging out.
And during all of that, I was coming home to an empty apartment, deleting dozens of messages from Aurel and Illarion and trying to pretend I didn’t miss him so much I felt like I was dying. I knew he’d been hurting; I’d given him almost nothing to go on, nothing he could use and call closure.
‘I left because I was afraid of who I’d become. Because I couldn’t see a future, for me or for us.’
His hand tightened around mine and before he could say anything, I shook my head, drawing our linked hands to my lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
‘I’m not saying this because I want sympathy, God knows I’ve seen enough of those looks. I’m telling you because I was afraid, I was a coward. The truth is that I blamed myself for letting the numbness consume me rather than fight because I was tired.’
‘Lyubov.’ He whispered, pulling me down against his chest. ‘Why didn’t you talk to me? I saw you slipping away from me, I felt you shutting down, but I…I never thought….’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I’m sorry, Ace. So sorry. I should have seen it.’
‘You didn’t see it because I didn’t want you to.’
Understanding flashed across his eyes and for a moment he was still and silent and then he bowed his head. ‘You compelled me to let you go.’
I wanted to tell him that he deserved better, but I couldn’t, I was selfish, I refused to let him go.
It was so shallow, so weak of me. I shied away, pulling back and away from his arms. But he didn’t let go. Instead he wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me back against his chest where he rested his chin on my shoulder.
‘Either your compulsion wasn’t that great, or my love for you was stronger?’
Knotting my brows, I looked back at him over my shoulder.
He was smirking.
‘You’re not mad?’
‘No, lyubov.’ He shook his head, kissing my neck and then taking my hand, pressing a kiss to my engagement ring. ‘I’m mad at myself for not seeing through it and for not fighting harder. I hated myself for months for not coming to DC. I couldn’t work out why I didn’t just get on the damn plane…I knew where you were, but it makes sense now.’
A sad smile met me.
‘But I will not make that mistake again, I swear to you. I’m never losing you again.’
Chapter Eighteen
Illarion
Ace was still asleep, which gave me a little time to work on the very real problem on our hands.
Every day we spent chasing them was a day they spent ahead of us. I wasn’t disillusioned by the gravity of that. It meant they were working with something we had no idea about, and I had to find a way to get that information.
I slipped out of the bedroom, gently closing the door. There had to be more in this, something we’d missed. I took a seat at the dining table, pulling up the files Alex gave me.
The truth was staring me in the face, but it was so damn ridiculous, I couldn’t just accept it and I think, since Alex told me, I didn’t give it a chance to sink in.
But it was now. Those words I’d read to her and heard twice since, kept floating in and out of my consciousness on repeat.
The warrior’s blood will open the door and in the morrow the battle will soar.
But only when the door is sealed can the human race be healed.
Sealed. With blood. Her blood. I pinched the bridge of my nose. The weapon, this Legion army, everything I was afraid to accept was about her.
Our reality, everything we’ve known and fought for, everything I believed in, was a lie. The Agency had been against us from the beginning, who knew how deep their pockets were and how far their hand reached, I didn’t know who was compromised and who we could trust. Staying away wasn’t an option, they would figure it out and the second they knew what we did, Ace would be in danger.
Taking a moment to absorb what I was reading, I read over it again and after about the fifteenth time, I shoved the papers aside and got up.
We couldn’t go on the run either, this weapon reached through walls and barriers, we were dead in the water.
Simon Dalca knew about this years ago, to be precise, thirty years, well before Ace was born and his end game, was getting the lockdown protocols—those were the key. Whatever he needed, was in there which meant I needed to get them.
Did he know that a cure, or an antidote was in there? A way to stop Project Adam. Did Damon know? Was he after it too to ensure our kind was safe?
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair.
The door to the bedroom opened and she popped her head around the corner.
‘Hey.’ She whispered. ‘You already working?’
‘Yeah, had some things I needed to check.’
‘You didn’t sleep much.’ She frowned.
‘There was too much going on in my head, I couldn’t shut off.’
‘The world is still going to be shit even when you’ve gotten some rest.’
‘I know.’ I kissed her knuckles. ‘Was hoping to make it a little less shit for you to wake up to.’
A solemn expression quickly replaced her smile
Not giving her a chance to speak, I turned my face down and shook my head.
‘I was responsible for your safety.’
‘Operation Lullaby isn’t active anymore, Ila. You can let go.’
‘I cannot let go, Ace. When I signed up, I swore to look out for you, I failed but I will not fail again.’
She bit down on her bottom lip, and then sat down beside me.
‘Okay.’ She nodded. ‘But there’s no more pressure to feel like my life is constantly in your hands. I can handle myself now.’
‘Got it.’ I gave her the three-finger salute and she chuckled. ‘As for the other issue, we need to stay on top of your new power.’
‘Yeah.’ She frowned. ‘A lot more than the power worries me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s been getting harder to stifle. Everything seems to set it off now. Anger, sadness. Joy.’ She laughed though there was no humor in the sound. ‘I don’t know, I feel like I’m losing my mind.’
Considering her for a moment, I looked down at the space between us. ‘Is that what happened last night?’
Her eyes snapped up and then she shifted beside me.
‘I don’t know what that was.’ She said.
‘You can tell me the truth.’
‘I am.’ She said again. ‘I don’t know what it was. I don’t know what I saw.’
‘But you saw something?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Ace…’
‘Look, I don’t know.’ She was getting agitated and the flare of power simmered under her skin, I felt it course through her body. ‘I thought I saw a shadow, I guess it could have been anything... a light from outside or a cat.’
‘I know you don’t believe you saw a cat.’
‘No.’
I looked away for a moment and then sensing the apprehension. I moved on. ‘What can I do?’
‘Nothing, to be honest, Ila, it comes and goes. It’s like a constant struggle.’
‘Okay.’ I frowned. ‘Whatever it is, I’m here to help. I’m not losing you to this.’
‘You won’t.’ She smiled, placing her left hand over mine, the flare of power dissipating. ‘See, we’re in this together, for the long haul.’
‘We are.’
‘And for real this time.’ She chuckled, forcing a laugh from me.
Despite the light mood, I was shaken by the look on her face last night. It was real fear, whatever she saw and denied, it terrified her, and the way this new surge of power controlled her rather than the other way around, put me on edge.
A faint blush spread across her cheeks and then her mood dropped again.
‘We need to talk.’ Her eyes met mine.
‘Okay, about?’
‘What you felt about Alex.’ She began.
‘Ace, we are okay.’ I said. ‘You loved him, and now he’s back, I can’t imagine how hard that must be. But I understand, and I believe you.’
‘Good,’ she smiled, gently bringing her lips to mine. ‘Because it’s the truth. I love you.’
***
Ace
All I wanted to do was stay like this forever, wrapped up in the silence of not only the space surrounding us, but of the silence in my mind too. Illarion tightened his hold on me and pressed a kiss to my cheek
‘How do you feel about eating out tonight?’
‘A date?’
He nodded, easing us both up.
‘Do we really have the luxury of time for that?’
‘I want to make time.’
Something about the simplicity of those words hit home.
‘You’re right.’ I smiled. ‘We should work through as much of this as possible though, I hate the idea of someone out there plotting something big while we’re out here in the dark.’
‘We’re keeping on top of it in the background.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Before Aurel and I left New York, I had Josh and Daniel run background checks on everyone you work with and their associates, professionally and personally. We got a few hits.’
‘Really?’
He nodded, pulling his phone free from his pocket. He scrolled through it for a few seconds before handing it to me.
‘What am I looking at?’
‘The first list of names is what stood out the most, these are all employees of the FBI, but what concerns me is that all seven of those people worked for other corporations dealing with national security or I.T.’
‘Before the bureau?’
‘Yes, and when they transferred across, they maintained some level of communication with their former employers.’
‘And this is bad because?’
‘Because all of those former employers were funded by the same people.’
‘Let me guess.’ I muttered, handing his phone back. ‘The U.S government, more importability the FBI.’
‘Unfortunately, yes and the military.’
‘You’re joking?’
‘We don’t know who we can trust.’ Illarion started. ‘We have to be careful.’
‘Suddenly I feel like we’re so alone.’ I whispered.
‘In a way, we are.’ He sighed, but he kept his eyes down like he was trying to keep the truth from me and in a way, I would have loved nothing more than to let him lie to me, keep me in the dark but it was my job now, more than ever to be on top of it.
‘Who’s with us?’
‘Josh, Daniel a few others.’
God, it’d been so long since I’d spoken to either of them…and the more I thought about how I left without any form of explanation, I felt incredibly selfish.
‘How are they?’
‘They’re good,’ he smiled, keeping his arms around me. ‘Josh and James are running the counterintelligence division and Daniel frequently works with them. He’s still a Tracker, working with a Sight Sensitive.’
‘That’s great.’ He had a natural affinity to Hearing and he was definitely going to be one of the more skilled ones.
‘And Josh has progressed. He’s making a name for himself among the Sensitives.’
I smiled. He deserved it, he was incredibly good at his job and being a non-Sensitive was even more impressive.
Jack of Hart- Wild Card Page 23