And suddenly, he got it. A retort died on his lips and his skin paled several shades.
My fight died down, and instead all I could do was shake with rage. Tears brimmed in my eyes, months and years of pent up pain and anger finally coming to the surface.
‘Losing the woman you love and your unborn child, in one day. There is no hell that I wouldn’t go through to never feel that pain again. Do you understand, Brother?’
His eyes glistened in the artificial light. I’d seen a lot in my time, I’d experienced far more than I cared to admit and this moment, admitting how much that affected us both, was one of the worst.
‘You never spoke about that to me…’ He whispered.
‘We never spoke about it to anyone.’ I clarified. ‘She needed me, and so I was there. She comes before everything.’
Aurel closed his eyes and for a moment he stood still, completely silent until he opened his eyes and found mine.
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘She’s not crazy.’
Aurel’s turned from me but he remained quiet.
‘I know what you think. But I’ve seen it in her eyes, I’ve felt it. It’s the same when she was with him, the same feeling when I found her after all those months.’
No remarks, no comments. Just silence.
‘You’ve seen it too, haven’t you? The aura isn’t right, I know you’ve questioned it.’
He had, I knew he had, and he was too damned proud to say anything.
‘This is real, and I don’t know what to do. I came to ask for your help, not your judgement.’
‘I’m not judging.’ He shook his head sternly and stepped toward me to lean against the car. ‘God knows I’m not one to judge, but I have to look at things from all angles.’
‘That’s your job, and mine is to protect her. But if you’re not with us, I can’t, I won’t have her in your presence.’
‘Illarion—’
‘I’m not risking it.’ I shook my head. ‘I have to protect her, and if that means protecting her from you. Then that’s what I’ll do.’
***
The conversation played over and over in my head.
It felt like a lifetime ago. It felt like only yesterday we were running missions together and debriefing over pizza and beer.
Everything was different now, so much had changed, I didn’t even recognize the people we were now.
Ace moved closer to me, angling the water away from our faces.
‘You’re a million miles away.’ She whispered, pressing a kiss to my neck and trailing a few more along my jaw.
‘I’m sorry.’ I captured her lips and kissed her deeply.
‘What’s going on?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Don’t lie to me.’ She said softly, cupping her hand over my cheek. ‘Talk to me.’
Letting out a long breath, I found her eyes. ‘It’s Aurel.’
‘What did he say?’
‘He sees something’s going on, but he’s too damned blind to admit it, ironically.’
‘He’s afraid.’
‘I don’t trust him.’ I admitted, forcing back the mess of emotions raging to the surface. ‘At all, Ace, I don’t want you around him.’
‘I know it hurts.’ She said softly. ‘But what are our choices?’
‘I don’t know. I really don’t.’ I lowered my forehead to hers. ‘Christ, Ace, I don’t trust my best friend. Where does that leave me?’
‘With Alex.’ She said simply. ‘And Matt and Peyton. We’re not alone, Ila.’
Forcing a slow breath free, I tightened my hold around her.
It felt so long since we were close, and I didn’t want to let anything taint this moment. I smoothed her hair behind her ears, taking a moment to enjoy feeling her in my arms.
As the water cascaded over us, I closed my eyes, pressing my lips to her forehead.
‘Your mind is busy.’ She whispered, wrapping her arms around my waist. ‘Let go, just stay here with me for now.’
‘Yesterday scared me.’
‘I know.’ She murmured. ‘It scared me too.’
‘Aurel shook me, Ace, he got to me. I don’t know why I’m losing it.’
She frowned. ‘Because you’re under a lot of pressure, you’ve taken on everyone’s problems, including mine.’
‘It’s not that,’ I twisted her hair around my fingers. ‘I can’t keep my mind steady.’
‘Is it because of me?’ She asked, her vibrant eyes focused on mine.
‘Maybe.’ I answered honestly. ‘It’s like we’re feeding each other.’
‘I can feel it too.’
Following that confession, she reached up and ran her fingers through the wet ropes of hair falling over my eyes.
‘What do you think I should do?’ I captured her small hand in mine and pressed it against my chest.
A smile found its place on her full lips. ‘I think you’re doing brilliantly, and you forget that I have faith in you, despite my stupid ego sometimes.’
Chuckling softly, I pulled her closer, resting my forehead on hers. ‘I think you know exactly what to say.’
‘Maybe.’ She said softly. ‘I just know I love you, and that comes easy to me.’
‘Likewise, lyubov.’
She looped her arms around my neck and pressed a featherlight kiss on my cheek.
‘I missed this.’ She whispered softly trailing her lips along mine, and then a few, gentle kisses landed on my jaw.
Burying my teeth into my lip, I forced myself to hold back. As much as I wanted nothing more than to pull her up into my arms, I knew she enjoyed this, she loved taking her time and I loved letting her.
Her delicate fingers grazed the skin on my back, sending shivers up my arm as she travelled lower and lower, finally stopping her hands at my hips.
I forced my eyes open and looked down into hers, a dangerous glint of anticipation flashed across them.
‘I’ve missed you too.’ I breathed, hoping that she’d let me make my move.
When she didn’t do anything other than reach up to kiss me, I cupped her cheek in my hand and kissed her deeply.
Backing us both up against the wall of the large shower, I picked her up, wrapping both of her legs around my waist.
Her breath burned white hot against my cheek as I brought her lips to mine again. This time she moved first, as I deepened the kiss, she reached between us and eased our bodies together.
A sharp gasp was stifled by her lips over mine. I would never tire of how she made me feel. She was the most incredible woman I’d ever known. Through all the hell we’d both been through, somehow, her goodness always prevailed, and she made me a better person.
A shallow gasp escaped her lips as we broke for air, only giving me more ammunition to show her exactly how much she meant to me.
I tangled my hand through her hair, pulling her face down to mine as I held her against me with my other arm.
‘Ila,’ she breathed my name, sending a jolt of electricity through my veins.
The way she moaned as our bodies moved together, sent me wild, with her hands flush against my skin, pressing her palms against my pulse, I threw everything into the kiss.
The energy from within her, burned steadily in the space surrounding us.
With the power coursing from her into me, the shift of energy surrounding us gently forced a shield around her, the water became trapped in her little bubble of energy and it cascaded in an unearthly manner, running against gravity.
She ran her hands across my arms, her other hand cupping my cheek. ‘Does this scare you?’
‘No, lyubov.’ I deepened the kiss, tasting her and memorizing every touch as though it were our last, I was drunk with love for her, my heart raced almost uncontained by the way the connection pulsed between us, under my skin.
A broken breath left her lips as I lowered my hand to the small of her back and eased her up and pushed deeper. She buried her head against the curve of my neck and dug
her fingers into my skin.
My breath quickened with each move and her voice shook my foundations as she neared the edge, her body tightening around me. I pulled her closer and breathed in her scent, the water cascading further from our bodies while the secondary shift built, reaching intolerable levels until it exploded, throwing us both over the edge; breathless words were lost with each broken cry and as I held her, the flow of water grew more erratic until the third explosion rocked us.
I brought my lips over hers and stifled the cry that shattered both our walls as the water came crashing back down on us.
‘I love you, Ila.’
My heart swelled. I brought my hand to her cheek and whispered the same back. Slowly, I reached behind her and turned the water off.
***
Ace
When we’d both dried off, gotten dressed, much to my disdain, I always preferred Illarion with no clothes on, pulled open the drawer in the kitchen and took out the wide range of medication I’d been used to taking.
Illarion sat at the table, using the kitchen as his workspace rather than using his actual office. He was on edge, constantly keeping tabs on both his personal computer and the Agency one, his credentials allowed him to access all points of Agency related work wherever he went. I cocked my brow when he muttered something in Russian under his breath before looking up at me with a bemused expression, like I’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t be.
‘Sorry.’
‘For?’ I asked, surprised.
‘Losing my composure.’
‘That was losing your composure?’
He laughed.
‘Well, Illarion, I think you need to take some anger management classes or something.’
‘Maybe.’ He laughed, shaking his head. ‘It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.’
‘So, what’s making you so angry?’
‘These files, I don’t know how much of it we can use, when Dan handed it over, he told me there were some people who’d accessed the cleaned up version.’
‘Anyone we can contact to clarify?’
‘Aurel.’ He muttered.
Well. Guess that exhausted that.
‘What about Dan, does he know someone?’
‘I already sent him a message, just waiting. He’s had to do some damage control, but I should hear back soon.’
Standing behind him, I leaned on the back of his chair and cast a look over the files he was talking about. ‘Is that what you got from him?’
‘Yeah. I’ve been working through it since it came in.’
‘On your own?’
‘I didn’t want to add this to your list of things to worry about.’
‘If it’s on your list it’s on mine.’ I said.
‘I’m sorry, shouldn’t have kept you in the dark.’
‘Do you not trust me?’ I said softly.
‘You know I do.’
‘Do you?’
‘Ace, come on.’
‘No, Ila, I’m being serious. Do you trust me?’
‘Yes. I trust you.’
He dropped the files and looked up at me.
‘Where is this coming from?’
‘From everything you’ve seen over the last few weeks, I know I’ve given you a lot to question, but I need to know you’re with me.’
‘I’m with you, without question.’
While what he was saying was exactly what I wanted to hear, the emotions churning inside him said otherwise. As his eyes searched mine, I felt him slipping from me…he was afraid, he kept going back to what Aurel said, he kept replaying New York, he kept questioning his belief, not only in our ability to beat this, but in me.
As each thought grew louder and louder, I felt my hands start to tremble and the box of pills I was holding dropped free from my grip.
‘Ace?’ He shot to his feet.
‘I’m fine.’ I lied; I couldn’t do this now.
We had to work on the task at hand.
‘I wanted to ask you something.’ I said changing to subject.
‘Okay.’
‘Remember the guy both Whiley and Palmer were working for?’
‘Davis?’ He asked, knotting his brow.
‘Yeah.’
‘What about him?’
‘What if he’s the one who sent all the bogus data to Peyton? What if he’s the one leaking all this information? Making people talk?’
‘Daniel mentioned something about that.’ Illarion thought for a moment. ‘I haven’t looked into it too much, but if you think there’s something there?’
‘I do.’ I nodded. ‘It’s a feeling, got a vibe off them both, and Peyton.’
‘I’ll check it out.’
‘Thanks.’ I pushed away from the table, snatched up the pills again and crossed the kitchen in two strides, reaching up for a glass.
Ignoring the concerned expression boring though my head, I took a pill out of the bottle and a pill from the blister pack and drank them both down with a long, cold glass of soda.
‘How are you feeling?’ He asked softly.
‘Fine.’ I shrugged. ‘Comes and goes.’
When he frowned, I looked away.
‘How did you go getting in touch with Josh?’ I changed the subject. If he was going to be less than forthcoming with me, I found it only wise to spare him the grief.
‘He’s been read in; he’s contacted Atlanta and they’re on standby.’ Illarion said.
‘Do we trust the agents in Atlanta?’
‘Josh does, I have faith in him.’
‘That’s good enough for me.’ I nodded. ‘He knows about the FBI?’
‘He does. He’s got Peyton, Price and Westen on call.’
My brows shot up.
‘You told him about Alex?’
‘Had to.’ Illarion’s brow creased. ‘Too much is riding on weak odds.’
‘Damn.’ I sighed. ‘What’s next?’
‘I drafted a false brief and read in the Board.’ He answered. ‘Told them only the basics.’
‘And the senator?’
‘Neutralized.’
‘Peyton.’ I figured.
He’d go to her but keep me in the dark. Interesting turn of events. But I nodded.
‘She’s been useful.’
‘I’ll bet.’
He didn’t miss my sarcasm, but he didn’t say anything else.
‘What did the Board say about the orders?’
‘They bought it, but they want you to stick to the new recruits instead—train them up and Join Anna’s team. To be perfectly frank, I think they’re trying to keep you busy.’
‘That’s a waste of my time.’
‘Of course, it is.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not letting my best agent here, go off and teach kids while they pretend that we’re not on the precipice of an extermination.’
‘Maybe they’re in denial.’
‘Or maybe they have a hand in it.’
‘That’s a big call, do you honestly believe they’re in on it?’
‘I don’t know what to think.’ He muttered.
‘I guess they’re trying to go about business as usual.’
‘I understand why they’re doing it, but I don’t agree with it.’
Ignoring the nagging feeling that no matter what he said, they wouldn’t yield, I moved over to the couch and sat on the edge and looked up at him.
‘What did they say about the weapon?’
‘Well, that’s something they jumped onto right away. They’ve got agents scouring all the archived data to try and pull information about anything that could be classified as Project Adam, whether they’re involved or not, remains to be seen.’
‘What would they even look for?’
Illarion shrugged, ‘Biological warfare, chemical, airborne, you name it.’
‘Guess that’s something.’ I mused and when he remained quiet, I sighed. ‘They think I’m coming undone.’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You don’t have t
o.’ I bit. ‘You do too.’
He walked over to me but stopped when I folded my arms across my chest.
‘Hey.’ He said, keeping his distance. ‘I’m going to go back and fix this. You’re not playing babysitter.’
‘Don’t do that.’ I shook my head. ‘I don’t want you to risk your position. We need you there.’
‘We’re not risking anything. I need you on my team, in the field. That’s all they need to know, and they’ll agree.’
‘If they don’t?’
‘Let’s hope we can avoid that scenario.’
Giving him a quick nod, I looked away when silence fell over us and the tension kind of doubled.
I sighed when it got too much and when he felt the turmoil, he gestured to the table.
‘We should go through the files Elena gave us.’
‘Sure.’ I followed him and pulled a file toward me.
I trusted that the decisions the Board made were for the betterment of our kind and the relationship we had with the non-Sensitives. But that was before, and now, well now I didn’t know whether they were on our side or not. I still didn’t understand what thy had to gain by exterminating us but, I was sure that eventually it would come out. Maybe they wanted some of us gone, maybe they’d made a deal.
I sighed. There were too many maybes.
It also didn’t help that Illarion and Aurel were both watching me like a ticking timebomb, and I didn’t really know how to take that.
Retaliating would set in stone how they saw me and saying nothing would eat away at me.
My ego would have to take a backseat on this one, for the sake of the world and everyone in it.
I focused my attention on the information Illarion was showing me. It was a world map with the locations of each Agency around the globe, marked out in large black stars.
The twelve marks on the map stared me in the face, everyone here depended on me and what we were fighting for.
‘The recruits Elena wants you to talk to are not due to hit the field for another six months.’ He stated, closing the file. ‘And they want you to run that down to three.’
‘That’s ridiculous, and dangerous. They’re not going to be ready.’
‘Unfortunately, they don’t care.’ He let out a long breath. ‘The threat is imminent, and they want as many bodies on the line as possible.’
‘So this is preparation for war.’
Jack of Hart- Wild Card Page 35