Get It On

by Kenner, J.

  “And sex,” she guessed.

  He nodded. “Sometimes it’s just about the contact. The connection. Even if there’s nothing real underneath.”

  “I know. I get it.”

  “I got it, too. So did they. We just wanted—release.” He let out a frustrated breath. “Which they got, but I didn’t. Since she died—since I lost Teiko—I haven’t been able to really make love to a woman, and no pill, no toy, no special oil advertised on the internet makes any difference at all.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure that’s horribly frustrating. But if you’re worried about the way I feel, you don’t have to be. I just want you beside me. Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice—I remember how nice it was—but mostly I just want to be with you. The intimacy of us.”

  He bent and kissed her head. “Baby, I—I know. And I believe you. And honestly, I would have told you before except that I thought it would be better with you.”

  “And instead it was worse.”

  He nodded.

  “You loved her very much,” she said. “It’s hard to let go of someone you love.”

  His eyes widened in surprise. “How did you—”

  She pressed a finger to his lips. “It’s not exactly a secret that you loved her. That you still love her. And I guess it only makes sense that it’s going to come out the most in the bedroom.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said again.

  “Please. Do not apologize for loving your wife. Never apologize for that.”

  He bent over and gently kissed her forehead, his arm tight around her.

  “I do have one question,” she admitted. “Why did you think it would be better with me? And then why was it worse?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  She shook her head. “That’s why I’m asking.”

  “Same answer, both questions.”

  She just looked at him, silently urging him to tell her.

  “It’s because I love you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Eva wished she had some sort of magic pill to give Tyree that would cure his guilt. She understood him loving his wife, and she certainly didn’t begrudge him those feelings. But she hated knowing that he was having such a hard time moving forward, especially after so much time.

  More than that, she hated the tiny insecurities that popped up inside herself. Because the truth was, she was falling back in love with him. Assuming she’d ever fallen out of love in the first place. And though he said he loved her, she feared that he really didn’t. Or, more accurately, that he was holding back. That he wasn’t willing to really be with her, because he feared that somehow taking a step toward her meant walking away from Teiko.

  And, she supposed, it did. But wasn’t that okay? Wasn’t that the nature of healing?

  Or was she being selfish, wishing that he’d heal faster and feel differently because that was what she wanted, not necessarily what he needed?

  Honestly? She didn’t know what to think.

  And so she told herself that she wasn’t going to think at all. She was in Austin for the time being, and she was going to do her work, spend time with her daughter, and enjoy as much time and intimacy with Tyree as he and their schedules would allow.

  After that, she’d see where they stood. Maybe not the best plan, but her only other option was to put on the brakes and revert to simply co-parenting Elena.

  Frankly, she’d moved way past that option.

  Last night, he’d left the apartment before Elena had gotten home. They hadn’t returned to the bedroom, but had instead snuggled on the couch, talking and making out as if they were teenagers. It had been sweet, and even a little refreshing, and the only downside was that she hadn’t woken up in his arms.

  They had, however, planned to meet for coffee, a walk around the lake, and then a leisurely breakfast. Which was why she was currently hanging out on the corner of Cesar Chavez and Congress, taking random pictures of the scenery just to pass the time.

  Then her camera caught him walking up the trail holding two to-go cups and a white paper bag. She took a series of shots, him closer in each one, until finally only the coffee filled the frame. “It’ll be great art,” she said, when she lowered the camera to face his amused expression. “Or just something silly for me to look at when I’m alone.”

  “I vote the latter,” he said, then passed her a coffee. “And I know we talked about getting breakfast, but it’s such a gorgeous morning, I thought we might walk longer and have Kolaches.” He held up the bag, and she peered in to find a selection of cheese, fruit, and sausage pastries.

  Already hungry, she took out a sausage-filled one and took a bite, enjoying the sharp tang of the pastry-wrapped sausage. “This is great,” she said. “Thanks.”

  “I also thought that if you wanted, we could spend the day together. Maybe head over to my house after our walk. Talk a bit. Fix some lunch. I have a covered patio and a great selection of wine. We could get a little drunk in the afternoon, see where it leads.”

  She shot him a sideways glance, wondering how far he intended it to lead. Another try after last night? Or did he want to back off the bedroom for a bit? Either way, though, it sounded tempting. And she could talk to him about her fears about his wifely guilt later. No sense ruining a perfectly lovely day with serious relationship talk.

  “That sounds great. But are you sure it’s a good idea? I’ve been usurping a lot of your time lately. What are your partners at The Fix going to think?”

  “Probably that I’m ridiculously fond of you. And that I haven’t given myself a vacation in a long, long time.”

  “Is that what I am? A vacation?”

  He popped the last bite of his pastry in his mouth, then took her hand. “You’re a hell of a lot more than that,” he said, with such sincerity it made her heart swell. “But speaking of vacations,” he continued, “are you regretting not going to Vancouver?”

  “Only as far as the temperature and humidity goes,” she admitted. “It’s brutal here. But the other amenities in Austin make up for it.”

  “Yeah?” he teased. “Like what?”

  “Oh, you know. Great local bars. Cute guys on the jogging trails. Lots of places that serve breakfast tacos. General Austin stuff.”

  He tugged her to a stop, then kissed her, his mouth tasting like sausage. “That’s all?”

  “Oh, wait. There’s this man I’m fond of…”

  He laughed, and they continued along the walking path, chatting about the bar, the kids, the weather. Pretty much everything until she circled back to their original conversation. “I just want to be sure that I’m not a distraction. I know the idea is for you to up the revenue at the bar. I don’t want to feel like I’m hindering that.”

  “You’re not. And I like the distraction. It feels good, actually. Like I’m finding my center again.”

  She paused on the trail. “Do you mean that?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

  A smile tugged at her mouth. “In that case, good.”

  “Come on. Let’s head back to my car.”

  They turned around, then headed back the way they came, foregoing the longer path that circled the downtown section of the river. “Can I ask you something else?” she asked after they’d walked about a quarter of a mile. “Why didn’t you ever look for me? I mean, I know you sent letters, and since my father hid them, I never answered you. But why didn’t you come looking for me to ask why?”

  It wasn’t until the words were out that she realized how much his answer mattered to her. And when he spoke, the words hit her with the force of a brick.

  “I did,” he said. “I saw you with David. And with Elena. I assumed she was his.”

  She stopped on the track, staring at him. “But that would mean I would have had to have hooked up with David about fifteen seconds after you shipped out.”

  “I know,” he said, and she froze, stopped cold by the pain in his voice.

  “Oh, Tiger,” she said. “All these years,
you’d thought—”

  He shook his head, his finger on her lips gently silencing her. “You’re here now. And none of that matters anymore.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  It was, Tyree thought, an entirely different vibe to be in the back bar waiting for his cue to strut than it was to be standing near the stage waiting for the contestants to start strutting.

  All things being equal, he’d rather be in the audience. And for a moment, he wondered what the hell he’d been thinking. After all, the owner of the bar holding the contest didn’t actually need to be in the contest. Surely that was some sort of horrible conflict of interest. Clearly, he’d been suffering from a particularly virulent form of insanity when he’d agreed.

  Which, he supposed, was somewhat true. Because Eva did make him crazy, in the best possible way. And she was the one who’d roped him into this.

  He fully intended to make her pay. In, of course, the best possible way. And detailed, sensual visions of the actual payment he planned to demand flitted through his mind in such vivid detail that he actually missed his cue to go on stage.

  “Go!” Mina gave him a shove, and he stumbled forward as the emcee, Beverly, called to the crowd for a shout-out.

  “Yes, folks, we finally did it! We finally convinced our very own Tyree Johnson to enter the contest. As you probably know, Tyree is your gracious host here at The Fix, and from what I understand, it took more than a little cajoling to get him on stage. But now it’s time for the real test,” she said, as a classic stripper tune started coming out of the speakers. “Come on, my friend, let’s see those pecs.”

  He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh, run, or find Eva and drag her up on the stage beside him. But he did find her in the crowd with Elena at her side, both of them looking ridiculously amused. Oh, yeah. There would most definitely be payment tonight.

  The crowd started to urge him on, and what the hell, right? He could hardly ask dozens of men—including some of his own employees—to do what he didn’t have the balls to do. Besides, he worked out. He might be forty-six, but he wasn’t shabby.

  With one quick motion, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, then tossed the T-shirt into the crowd, to a chorus of whoops and claps.

  He struck a Mr. Universe-style pose, did a turn to show off his back, and then slid out of the spotlight to stand among the other tributes to the fires of insanity. Finally, he caught Eva’s eye in the crowd, then chuckled when she fanned her face, as if to suggest that he was just too hot. Beside her, Elena had her hand over her mouth, obviously holding in laughter.

  He bit back his own grin, feeling a bit like a fool, but having a lot more fun than he’d anticipated.

  There was only one contestant after him, so he didn’t have long to wait until all the men on the stage were released to mingle in the crowd. He searched for Eva, but realized that she’d disappeared in the crush. That was also the moment he realized that his spur of the moment decision to toss his shirt into the crowd had been a boneheaded move. Apparently, he was going to have to mingle half-naked with his customers.

  Great.

  “Hey there, stud.” Eva’s sultry voice teased him from behind. “I’ve got something for you.”

  He turned to find her holding out a black The Fix on Sixth T-shirt for him.

  “Have I told you how very incredibly wonderful you are?”

  “Feel free to fill me in. Although this is more selfishness than awesomeness. It’s in my interest to cover you up, after all. It’s one thing on stage. Entirely another to be walking around in the wild where other women can ogle you.”

  “Ogle? Hmm. Sounds kinky.” He stepped closer and put his arms around her waist. “Maybe later we can do some ogling.”

  “Okay, you two,” Elena said as she approached. “Break it up.”

  “Nothing doing,” Tyree said. And then, because he was still on his celebrity high, he pulled Eva to him and kissed her long and hard, not releasing her until he heard the sounds of cheers and applause from all around them.

  When he did let her go, she laughed, a little breathless. “If that’s your definition of ogling, I’m all for a little more. But what—”

  Her question was cut off by Beverly’s return to the stage. “After this, I’m taking you to the Driskill,” he whispered, causing Eva to turn in his arms.

  “You better not mean just for a drink,” she said.

  “Third floor. A lovely room. I’m assured by the front desk that it even has a bed.”

  “In other words, all the amenities we need.”

  “In other words,” he added, “no kids in second bedrooms.”

  Beside them, one of the kids in question was jumping up and down, and it took Tyree a second to wrap is mind around what she was saying.

  “You won! You won! Dad! Hello? Daddy! You won!”

  And in that moment, he realized two things. First, that his chest was going to be plastered on the pages of his own damn calendar.

  And second, that for the first time, his daughter had called him Dad.

  * * *

  He hadn’t been lying when he told her it was a lovely room. It was stunning. Well-appointed. Comfortable. Altogether fabulous.

  And Tyree couldn’t care less.

  All he wanted—all he needed—was Eva. She’d become the center of his world, the focal point of his days and his nights.

  She was the mother of his daughter. His friend. His lover.

  And, dammit, it was the last part that he intended to explore tonight. Had to. Because he’d been craving her all damn day. The simple, attractive T-shirt. The thin, summer skirt. The casual sandals. She looked like a picnic, and he wanted to devour her.

  “Bed,” he said, the moment they entered the room.

  She lifted her brows. “Bossy.”

  “Oh, yes,” he said, then scooped her up and tossed her where he wanted her, making her squeal with laughter—a laughter he quickly turned into a sensual groan when he lifted her skirt and tugged down her panties, then dipped his head for a deliciously intimate taste.

  “Oh, God,” she cried, her hands clutching his head, her hips bucking against his mouth. He’d planned on a soft, romantic night. Instead, this was hard and hot and wild—and he couldn’t deny that he liked it. The taste of her, the need. The hot, shameless way she demanded his fingers and tongue.

  And, dear Lord, his cock liked it, too. He was hard. Painfully so. And he wanted so badly to sink inside of her.

  He knew better, though. He didn’t want a repeat of the other night. All he wanted tonight was pleasure. All he wanted was to see her wild for him, to hear her cry his name. To make her shatter in his arms.

  He teased her clit and her pussy mercilessly, and he could feel the tension building inside her, making her climb higher and higher. And it was him taking her there. The power of that humbled him, knowing that he was bringing her such pleasure. Knowing that they could share such incredibly intimacy.

  And there it was.

  He wanted that. The sharing. He wanted to feel her tighten around his cock. He wanted her to milk him, to go over the edge with him.

  He wanted that—he did, dammit.

  And before he could talk himself out of trying, he stripped off his jeans, then slid on top of her. His mouth found hers as he straddled her, pushing her knees up to open her even more too him.

  “Tyree, are you sure?”

  But he didn’t answer her with words. He just slid his fingers inside her, making sure she was wet enough for him, ready enough. And then he slowly thrust his cock into her. Just a little, just a test. But it was good—oh, Christ, it was good—then a little more and a little more until finally he was pistoning against her, their bodies slapping together, and she was crying out, telling him how good it felt, how deep he was, how she never wanted him to stop.

  And he was close, so damn close. So was she, her muscles clenching around him, taking him further and further until finally his entire body shattered, the force of
his orgasm ripping him apart as intense waves of joy shook him. Joy. Pleasure. Passion.

  Eva.

  It was all Eva. Every thought. Every feeling. Every wild sensation.

  She filled him. Illuminated him. Made him whole.

  He wanted her. Needed her.

  For one short moment, he reveled in that simple truth. Then everything imploded, and reality hauled back and kicked him hard in the balls.

  A shudder cut through him, and he pulled out of her as a tidal wave of heavy, potent guilt crashed over him, sweeping him away. Sweeping everything away. Until he was lost. So damn lost.

  “Tyree?” She sat up, confusion flooding her voice. “Are you okay?”

  Christ, he probably looked like he’d had a stroke. He held up a hand to stave off her touch. “Fine,” he said. “I’m—”

  Lost? Guilty? Confused? Pitiful?

  He didn’t know. Dear Lord, he didn’t know.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he slid off the bed. It was all he could say.

  It was the best he could do.

  And though she begged him to stop, to stay, to explain, he just moved faster, hurrying into his clothes and then out the door into the Driskill’s abandoned hallway and the illusion that he’d gotten his shit under control.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I don’t know, Mom,” Elena said, fidgeting with her phone as she perched on the bed Eva had been using. “I still think you’re being a little hasty.”

  Eva frowned as she turned a circle in the room, checking to make sure she’d tossed all her personal things into her duffel. Eva had returned to the apartment in the middle of the night, then waited up for Elena to come home. They’d talked on the couch for hours, and Eva had explained to her daughter that she needed to go back to San Diego. Not only because she had a business to run, but because Tyree needed space.

  “I’m not saying it’s over.” Please, don’t let it be over. “But I am saying he has some things to work out.”