I rub a hand over my jaw. “Tara thinks that you’re the reason Amelia and I broke up.”
“Why would she think that? You told her Amelia broke up with you, right? Wait, Amelia did break up with you, didn’t she?”
I hesitate.
“Tanner?” Sydney’s voice lifts and her brown eyes widen. “You told me Amelia broke up with you.”
“She did. That was true.”
“Because of me?” Her brown eyes press me for the truth.
“She said I was in love with you. Actually, first she said you were in love with me but then when I told her how you were trying to help me smooth things over she changed her mind and said I was the one in love with you.”
Sydney sits up on the raft and she regards me carefully. “And what did you say?”
“Nothing. I left.”
“So it really was my fault that you and Amelia broke up.” Sydney looks thrown by the new information and I scramble to console her.
“No, babe, it was mine. It’s on me, not you. Tara thinks I’m going to ruin every relationship because I cut and run at the first sign of conflict.”
“And I’m who you run back to.”
I nod.
“Do you think you could have worked things out with Amelia if you’d stayed and tried to talk it out?”
“Maybe.”
Sydney groans. “And we never would have gotten together.”
I take her hands in my lap. “Babe, this has been the best couple of weeks. I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“Me either.” Even though she’s reaffirming how great a time we’ve been having, her tone isn’t nearly as excited.
When Jonah and Tara make it back, Corinne’s already red from the sun and complaining she needs a nap.
“What? No way. It’s still early,” Ollie whines.
“I need to go into town this afternoon for physical therapy anyway,” Sydney says, and I know she’s trying to make Corinne feel better for us all going back.
“Tomorrow let’s hook up the tube and have some fun,” Jonah suggests before we leave.
Corinne falls asleep on the ride back, Tara’s on her phone, and Sydney is quiet—very unlike her usual bubbly self. I know she’s stressing about my sister liking her.
My instinct is to ignore it and let them come together on their own. Sydney is impossible not to like when you get to know her, so I have no doubt my sister will come around eventually. But maybe a little push would help resolve things quicker.
Corinne wakes up just long enough to walk up to the house and fall into bed. I’m sitting in the living room while my sister and my girl are on their separate sides of the house showering. Sydney comes out first. Her long hair is still wet and hangs straight over her shoulders.
She smiles and walks over to me and I pull her down on my lap.
“You smell good.”
“You smell like the lake.” She nuzzles into me regardless.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to shower while you’re gone. Then it’s you and me for date four.”
“Jet skis?” She perks up.
“Yep, Jonah offered to let us use them tonight if you’re game.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“Well, I can’t find my contact solution,” Tara announces as she walks into the living room wearing her glasses. “And I completely forgot to pack underwear.”
“Ugh,” I groan at the overshare.
“Relax, I’m wearing my suit bottoms.”
Sydney sits tall on my lap. “I’m going into town if you want me to pick up some? Contact solution that is, not underwear.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay. I can get it tomorrow or the next day.” Tara waves her off.
“Go together,” I suggest.
Both girls look to me. “You both need to go to town, and I know neither of you like to shop alone.” I shrug. “Corinne and I will hold down the fort with our napping while you’re gone.”
They don’t speak, so I stand setting Sydney on the floor. “Cool, it’s settled. I’ll grill when you guys get back.”
22
Sydney
I rub my palms along my thighs. “Thanks for driving. I hate taking Tanner’s Firebird out. Knowing how much he loves it makes me nervous and I end up driving like fifteen miles an hour.”
“It’s no problem.”
It’s just me and Tara and Luke Bryan on the radio. She makes me more nervous than I am when driving Tanner’s precious car and I have to resist my natural tendency to babble. But I can’t just sit here mute either.
“Do you like country music?”
“Yeah, Tanner teases me about it constantly.” She turns the station before I can tell her I actually don’t mind it
“Like he’s one to talk. I found two songs by 98° on one of his Spotify playlists. And what’s with his obsession with Sinatra?”
“Oh, I know! His musical taste is all over the map and some of it is just strange. Every Christmas we have to listen to the Rat Pack Christmas album on repeat while we put up the tree.” Tara laughs and we share a commiserating glance before her smile falls and she returns her stare out the windshield.
It feels as if every time I make a crack in her defenses, she’s quick to slam the guard back up. Like she doesn’t want to like me. Tanner said she only met Amelia the once so I can’t figure out why Tara is so salty about me allegedly breaking them up. Let’s say it is all my fault, why does that make her hate me?
Amelia is nice, but she’s not so nice that I should be treated as the bitch by comparison.
But, I am nothing if not determined to make Tara like me.
“I’m really glad you came down early. I’ve been dying to meet you. Tanner talks about you so fondly.”
No response just a polite nod.
“Anyway, I’m glad. I’m crazy about him and I know things are new, but—”
“Look, Sydney,” she interrupts. “I know that you and my brother are close and I get why you’d get together when he’s single again and it’s just the two of you alone at the lake, but you don’t have to pretend that it’s more than what it is. I know Tanner. He bounces from girl to girl, and he’s out at the first sign of trouble. You two have sort of a pattern, picking up every time he’s single. The point is, we don’t have to act like you two are more than fuck buddies.”
A shocked squeak is all I’m capable of before she stops outside of the physical therapy office. I get the first semi-genuine smile since I’ve met her as she says, “Pick you up in an hour?”
“She sounds like a bitch.” Emily’s indignant tone is everything I could want in a best friend. Especially one I kept in the dark about Tanner and me until five minutes ago. Regardless, she always has my back and is ready to make me feel better about anyone who does me wrong. Unfortunately, right now, I don’t want to hate on the person who made me feel like shit.
“The thing is, I don’t think she is. She’s nice to everyone else, and there are these moments where she lets her guard down and I feel like we could be friends.” I sit on the dock near the water’s edge. “Or at least civil. I can’t believe she called me his fuck buddy.”
“What does Tanner say?” I glance up at the house where he’s grilling while Tara and Corinne sit at the outdoor table drinking and chatting.
“Not much. It’s his sister, Em, what am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, but do not let her treat you like shit. I’ll be there in a few days and I’ll happily tell her to go fuck herself if she hasn’t come over to the bright side by then.”
“The bright side?”
“The Sydney side. You’re amazing and colorful, full of life. So, yes, the bright side.”
“I can’t wait to see you.” I smile, holding the phone to my ear. “All right. I should go. We’re having dinner and then Tanner and I are going out.”
“Okay. Have fun. Enjoy the time with your man and forget about Tara.”
I wish that last part was as easy as the first. Tanner an
d I have no problem enjoying ourselves. We never have.
After we take the jet skis around the lake, we take the boat to his favorite spot and jump in the water. He rests on a floatie and I wrap myself around him.
“I love being out here at night.” I tip my head back and look up into the dark sky. “It feels like it’s our own personal lake.”
“Someday we can build a house right over there.” His lips find my shoulder and one hand lifts from the water to point to an unbuilt area between two houses. They set far enough back from the water that the spot still feels private.
“A lot of assumptions in that statement.”
He chuckles softly. “You don’t think the land is for sale?”
“That was at the bottom of my concerns.”
“Well, you’re stuck with me and I’m going to have a place here someday, so pick your spot.”
“Stuck with you, huh?”
“Like glue.”
“I don’t need glue. That should be obvious after two years.” I swallow thickly. “Even if things didn’t work out between us as a couple, I’d still want you in my life.”
“Same, babe. We need those best friends forever necklaces where we each get half a heart.”
“I am not wearing BFF necklaces with you.”
“Matching tattoos?”
I groan. “That’s like the kiss of death for any relationship.”
“I’m going to think of something,” he says. “Some symbolic way to show the whole world we’re two peas in a pod. Peas in a pod… maybe there’s something there.”
Shaking my head, I can’t help but laugh. “You’re the least sentimental and symbolic person I know.”
His jaw drops.
“Don’t even pretend to be offended. You throw away every birthday card and handwritten letter, photos…”
“It’s just stuff. Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the sentiment.”
“I suppose.”
As we go quiet, I’m lost in my own thoughts about his sister and everything she said. I want to ask him what will happen with us when we get back to Valley, but I can’t bring myself to ask. Before Tara mentioned it, I hadn’t thought of myself as a rebound, but is that what I’ve been? Not just this time, but always?
Not that we hooked up or any of that before, but after every breakup, we always spend more time together. Each time I wondered if it would be the time that something might happen between us. I tried not to acknowledge the thoughts, but they were there.
Now that it’s happened, I have to wonder, am I Tanner’s fall back girl? Would we have ever gotten together if we hadn’t been alone together at the lake?
I know that he would never use me like that on purpose, and if I voiced my worries, he’d probably have something reassuring to say to ease my mind, but I don’t want to ruin what’s left of his time here at the lake. He already has a lot on his plate he’s trying to avoid. Two more weeks of his last carefree summer. I’d have to be a monster to wreck that.
And maybe I want to enjoy these last carefree moments with him without risking it blowing up in my face.
“Let’s go up on the boat.” I glide my hands over his abs and wriggle against his crotch.
“Don’t have to ask me twice.” He swims with me attached to his front. I let go when we reach the ladder and hurry up. Tanner’s right behind me and swoops me up. He sits on the bench in the back of the boat with me on his lap.
Goose bumps pop up along my arms and legs from the chill of the night air on my wet skin. Tanner runs his calloused palms up my back. He cradles my neck with one hand and the other travels down to my hip and slides under the fabric of my bikini bottoms.
His mouth takes mine and his tongue demands entrance immediately. The warmth of his mouth and the friction of our bodies pressed together chases the chill.
The gentle sway of the boat does a lot of the work for us, brushing my center against his. Tanner’s lips move down my face to my neck and then my chest. He kisses my exposed flesh and then his hot suction covers my nipple through the spandex material.
With a little maneuvering, I untie his trunks and push my hand inside. His dick is deliciously hard, and he lifts his hips allowing me better access. I wrap my fingers around him and stroke gently until he groans.
“Babe, I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on the pill…” I stop. “But that’s okay, we don’t have to have sex. I can be creative.”
I have every intention of getting to my knees, but he pumps into my hand.
“Thank fuck. I didn’t want to ask, but I’ve been thinking about being inside of you without a condom. I’ve never slept bare with anyone.”
I’ve seen his stash of condoms back at Valley, so I believe him.
His thumb circles my clit and then one long finger slides under the material and pushes it to the side. I shift and he guides his dick into me slowly. At this angle he fills me so completely. I hadn’t expected it to feel different for me without a condom, but it does. I close my eyes and enjoy every sensation before slowly moving.
“So good,” he says as he nips at my neck and collarbone. “You feel incredible. Hot, wet, fucking amazing.”
His hands roam all over my body and settle on the curve of my waist. He lets me set the pace even though I can tell he wants me to move faster. I’m enjoying it too much. I don’t want to rush it. Just us on the boat, nothing around, nothing between us—it’s perfect and I want to hold on to this perfection before I go back to worrying about all the stupid things trying to make me forget why it’s worth the risk.
The next two days, Tara and Corinne go out on their own more than they hang with us, which honestly is fine by me. It feels like good fortune to escape with Tanner back into our little bubble.
My good luck runs out on the day Emily is set to arrive. A downpour of rain that starts in the early morning continues on and off into the afternoon.
Tanner and I are snuggled up on the couch while Tara and Corinne are in the kitchen baking cookies that smell amazing but are probably laced with her disapproval and contempt for me.
I’m looking forward to Emily getting here so that I’ll have someone to talk to. If Tanner has noticed the lingering weirdness between me and Tara, he hasn’t mentioned it., and I haven’t brought it up again. How do you tell your boyfriend that his sister called you his fuck buddy anyway? And even if I told him, what could he do? He might talk to her and then she’d just dislike me even more. I think I’m going to have to accept that Tanner’s sister may never like me. I hope he’s okay with that. I get an awful feeling when I try to picture holidays together or meeting his parents. Can we really make a relationship work when someone so close to him dislikes me?
“What time is Emily getting here?” Tanner asks. “Going out on the boat is probably out but we could take her to The Cove.”
A knock at the door gets all our attention.
“Guess that answers that.” He stands. “I’m going to jump in the shower while you two catch up.”
I hurry to the door and fling it open with a big smile, but come up short when it isn’t my best friend on the other side, but Tanner’s ex.
“Amelia?”
“Sydney?” She glances around as if she might be at the wrong house. “Is Tanner here?”
“Yeah, of course, come in.” I manage to be polite despite my shock.
Amelia gives a small, awkward wave when she sees Tara and Corinne. “Hey.”
“Oh my gosh, you came!” Tara comes forward and hugs her like they’re long lost best friends.
My eyes prick with tears. “I’ll get Tanner for you.”
I keep my head down as I walk through the living room and toward the bedroom. Tanner’s pulling his T-shirt over his head and starts to smile, but then pauses.
“What’s wrong?”
“Amelia is here.” My voice sounds weak even to my own ears.
“Amelia?” he asks as he goes to the door and looks out. His brows pull together. “Be right
back.”
Sitting on the bed, I let out a shaky breath. I can’t make out exactly what they say, but I can tell from their tone and exchange that Tanner’s as surprised that she’s here as I am. I have a choice. I can sit in here and hide until she’s gone, or I can go out there and sit beside my man.
As I step out, Tanner is pulling back from an awkward hug. “What are you doing here?”
Amelia glances over to where Tara stands nearby in her apron. “Tara invited me, but I was hoping we could talk?”
Tanner’s jaw flexes as he looks to his sister. “Of course, come on. Let’s go outside it looks like the rain’s let up.”
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until the sliding door shuts Tanner and Amelia on the other side. White hot anger and frustration bubbles to the surface.
“You invited Amelia?” Crossing my arms, I face off with Tara.
“I called to tell her that I thought she and Tanner should sit down and really talk about their breakup. It isn’t what either of them really wanted, but they were both being stubborn.” She goes back to the kitchen. “She was supposed to come down this week anyway.”
“That was before they broke up.”
She shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
“Do you really not see how fucked-up this is?”
“If it’s really over between them than what does it matter? She’ll get closure and Tanner will come crawling back to you like he always does.”
“That is not… he doesn’t…” I stop. “I don’t owe you any explanation.” I turn on my heel to go wait for Tanner in the bedroom before I say something I regret.
“If you care about him, like you claim to, then you’ll give him a chance to be happy,” Tara says to my back.
I face her prepared to tell her to go to hell, but I can’t do that. She’s Tanner’s sister, and even if I want to punch her, I won’t do anything to hurt Tanner.
“Do you really think that’s ever going to be possible with the two of you carrying on?” she asks. “No girl is ever going to accept your relationship with him. I’ve watched helplessly over the past two years while he blew it with every girl that he met.” She walks toward me. “He’d call and tell me about some new girl he was dating, and then slowly he’d ruin each one. They’d get jealous of the time he spent with you and then figure out he was cheating on them with you. And all it took was the slightest hint of conflict and Tanner was all too eager to bail. Why have a girlfriend that makes you work for it when you have a best friend that’s always around? You’ve ruined every relationship he’s had since he met you.”
The Pass (Smart Jocks Book 5) Page 15