by Chloe Carley
“No,” Sara Jane argued back. Is Carl in love with me? That can’t possibly be true. Shawn’s mistaken.
“Yes. If you’d stop challenging him and every other male around, you’d see that he not only cares about you, he’d move heaven and earth to make you happy.”
“He hates the way I dress, the way I ride, the way I shoot …”
“No. He dislikes the way you dress when other men stare at you. He dislikes the way you ride recklessly at times because he doesn’t want to see you, or your mount, injured. And he doesn’t hate the way you shoot; he wishes, like most of the men on the ranch, that he could shoot that well. He just doesn’t like how you flaunt your abilities and go out of your way to make him feel less of a man because he doesn’t measure up. Men don’t like being belittled, sis.”
“I don’t do that!” Sara Jane replied angrily. The little voice in her head called her a liar. You do exactly that. You gloat and make a big scene when you best the men. You make sure they all know you are just a girl and you were better, faster, more accurate, and smarter than they were. You could be a little more humble.
Sara Jane set her jaw, ignoring the voice in her head. When Shawn arched a brow, she stared back at him, refusing to acknowledge that he might be correct. Having her faults pointed out to her was another thing she disliked. Her ma always had always said that pride went before a fall and accused Sara Jane of allowing her pride to dictate her actions. Sara Jane didn’t see it like that at all.
*****
It had been a beautiful wedding, even Carl Baker could admit to that. Watching one of the Lazy L Ranch brothers marry a young woman he was obviously in love with had gotten him to thinking that it was about time he settled down and started a family of his own. He already had the gal picked out; she just didn’t seem to be in a cooperative mood where he was concerned. Or where any man was concerned, for that matter. The Good Lord knew she’d had plenty of suitors come calling, but she always managed to run them off.
Carl couldn’t be run off because he made his home on the Lazy L Ranch. In fact, he’d been in love with Sara Jane Lawson since he’d been seventeen and she’d been twelve. Announcing his love for her back then would not have been appreciated.
He could almost imagine how her brothers would have handled such a declaration from him.
Gideon and Shawn, I’d like permission to court your kid sister.
Gideon and Shawn would most likely have looked at me to see whether or not I was being serious and when they discovered I was, whomever was closest to me would have probably planted their fist in my jaw.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d stayed down, or gotten up and tried to defend myself, they would have made sure I knew that my attentions toward their kid sister were inappropriate. Shoot, Uncle Jace would have regretted ever taking me in and I would have found himself homeless and without a family right quick.
But that hadn’t happened. He’d bided his time, watching Sara Jane from afar, teasing her when the opportunities presented themselves, and watching her grow into a lovely young woman full of spirit and courage. Keeping his affections for her a secret had been no easy task where her brothers were concerned; only Sara Jane herself had been able to do that. A more disagreeable female he’d never met. She was headstrong, opinionated, and more apt to act and dress like one of the ranch hands than the only daughter of a large landowner. She could outshoot and outride most of the men on the ranch and none of them hesitated to pit their skills against her own.
Carl could still hear her laughter and see the brightness of her smile on the previous time they had a shootout. She’d beaten everyone, including himself, fair and square and then she’d laughed and danced around in glee. None of the hands had minded, for trying to better their skills to best Sara Jane kept them all on their toes. They had laughed at her antics, none of them taking offense at her celebrations, unlike the men from town who’d come calling once in a while.
They took great offense when she bested them, usually ending their visits with harsh words and a personal escort back to the main trail leading to town.
Carl hadn’t really been jealous of the other men’s attention or intentions toward Sara Jane, confident that he knew how their visits would end. In his heart, he’d always considered Sara Jane was his, he just hadn’t told her, or anyone else for that matter. But with Gideon and Riley getting hitched, Carl had started thinking about his own future. The men from town thought they could change her, and he always felt a little sorry for them as they couldn’t appreciate all that Sara Jane was.
Carl didn’t have that same problem. He teased her from time to time just to see her all riled up, but in truth, he didn’t mind her wearing trousers or being able to outshoot him. Not really. Sara Jane in a dress and baking pies wouldn’t be the young woman he’d fallen in love with.
No, he didn’t have any obstacles standing between him and Sara Jane. The five years difference in their ages had mattered when she was still just out of the schoolroom, but now … well, now it didn’t matter so much to anyone. He was twenty-three and she was eighteen, plenty old enough to be courted and married.
The object of his affection stood across the room with her brother Shawn, in some sort of heated debate by the look on her face and her body language. She currently had her hands on her hips and looked like she was ready to take her brother’s head off at the shoulders. Sara Jane was not what anyone would consider an amenable female. She had an opinion about everything and most of the time she was right on the money. When he saw her face begin to turn red, he knew an explosion was imminent.
Not wanting her to embarrass herself or cause a scene that would ruin Gideon and Riley’s special day, he started across the room, intending to intercept her and suggest a walk outside. As he approached, he overheard her conversation with Shawn and realized why she was looking so upset.
“Yes, Sara Jane. You do. You walk around, daring any man to best you, when all they want to do is walk alongside of you and enjoy life.”
“No man wants to do that.” At least, the men who have come calling lately don’t fit into that category. They want me to be some weak, simpering female who is content to cook, clean, and have babies. No thank you!
“You’re not looking with the right eyes. Or in the right direction.” Shawn took her shoulders and spun her around. There, standing a few feet away, was Carl. He watched her carefully as Shawn slipped away, leaving him alone with the woman he couldn’t seem to live without. He’d tried to find some interest within himself for the women in town, but he always found himself comparing them to Sara Jane. And they always paled greatly in comparison. Sarah Jane possessed the things that mattered most to Carl. Loyalty. Honesty. Strength. Determination. Perseverance. She had them all in ample supply.
“He’s right, you know,” Carl told her. He closed the distance between them, pleased when she held her ground.
Sara Jane swallowed and then shook her head. “No. I don’t know.”
“Then give me a chance to show you. Come and dance with me.” Carl extended his hand. The members of the community wasted no opportunity to celebrate and a live band was now playing. For a few hours, everyone seemed content to abandon their chores and just relax and celebrate the goodness and mercy God had shown them this last year.
Sara Jane looked at his hand and then down at the dress she was wearing. She’d stood up with Riley as her maid of honor and the deep blue dress made her strawberry blonde hair shine. Her complexion was like cream and Carl had to resist the urge to reach out and see if it truly was as smooth as it looked.
Sara Jane spent as much time outdoors as he did, and she had a nice sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks to attest to that. Carl didn’t mind; in fact, he thought they were cute, but he wouldn’t tell her that for anything. He knew she’d tried to hide them with face powder for a short time, but the powder couldn’t hide them all and so she’d given up.
“Dance?”
“Yes, and I know full well
that you know how to.”
She nodded. Carl had been her willing dance partner on more than one occasion as they were growing up, being as he was the closest to her age. Now, their sizes were definitely mismatched, but that didn’t bother Carl at all. He liked being taller than her as it gave him a sense of strength. He stood well over six feet tall and Sara Jane’s head barely reached the top of his shoulder, putting her around five foot seven inches without her boots on.
When it became obvious that Sara Jane wasn’t going to readily agree to his request, he decided for her. He took her hand and pulled her out onto the area where other couples were twirling in a circle. The song was lively and he wrapped one arm around her waist and danced with her, being careful not to step on her toes or her skirt. It wasn’t long before Sara Jane gave herself up to the moment and she was soon smiling and laughing.
Carl wished he could figure out how to put that happy look upon her face all the time. As the band switched to a slower waltz, he pulled her closer and murmured, “I love it when you smile and laugh.”
In a flash, her smile faded away and she told him, “You shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Why not, if they’re true?” Carl asked.
Sara Jane looked around and said, “Because someone might overhear you and get the wrong impression.”
“What impression would that be?” he asked, watching her carefully. They’d had a version of this conversation several times and he disliked that she continued to act as if she didn’t know that he had feelings for her. He’d never spelled them out plainly, and it seemed that he needed to correct that error. Now. Sara Jane needed to know how he truly felt about her.
“Well … that you and I … that you might …”
“Want to spend more time with you? Want to court you? Think that you are the one for me?” Carl asked, holding her gaze.
Sara Jane could only stare up at him. “What? You can’t say things like that.”
“Why not? They’re true, you know. I do believe you’re the one for me. I do want to court you. I’ve prayed about it and after all of these months …”
“Months?” Sara Jane asked incredulously. “We’ve done nothing but fight these last few months.”
Carl inclined his head. “I know, and for that, I’m truly sorry. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Then why do you?” she asked, a note in her voice he couldn’t quite place. It sounded almost hopeful, but there was an undertone of hurt. Carl tugged her gently off the dance floor so that they could talk more easily with each other in the lantern light.
“Sara Jane … sometimes, the way you talk to me or the others, well … it makes us men feel inferior. We enjoy your abilities, don’t get me wrong. I like knowing that you can outshoot me. But, Sara Jane, you have to admit that in a situation where you needed to protect yourself, you wouldn’t stand a chance in a physical fight. Not up against a grown man, but with your shooting ability… you wouldn’t need to.”
Sara Jane’s face relaxed as he continued to list her attributes and she urged him, “Go on.”
Carl smiled and scanned her face. “You ride better than half of the ranch hands. Partly because you’ve been on the back of a horse since you could walk, but also because you trust your mount and communicate with her like nothing I’ve ever seen. That’s special and I would never want to rid you of that.”
“Many men don’t like it,” Sara Jane told him, a note of sadness in her voice he wished he could erase.
“That’s true. There are lots of men in this world who believe a woman should be at a stove, barefoot, with three or four babies around her ankles and another on the way. She should spend her days cooking, cleaning, laundering, mending, and whatever other chores he doesn’t feel like doing. You know me well enough to know I’m not like that. I like having you working side-by-side with me in the barn and out on the range. All of the men from the ranch do.”
He paused for a minute while the waltz ended, and she digested his words. She finally nodded in agreement and he smiled. “Good. For a minute there I thought maybe you hadn’t been paying attention all of these years.”
She ignored that comment and cocked her head to the side as she asked, “So, you’re trying to tell me that there’s not one thing you don’t like about me? You seem to find enough things to complain about. Daily.”
Carl chuckled. “Oh, there are plenty of things I’d like to change. Your tendency to rush into dangerous situations without considering the consequences is one of them. You have a very nice brain that God gave you and you need to use it, not just some of the time. All of the time.”
His response was honest, and Sara Jane obviously didn’t appreciate his candor. He could see the anger rising within her as he finished speaking. “I don’t rush into situations.”
Carl steeled himself for the upcoming battle and nodded “Yes, you do. Case in point is when we went out to find the injured cat. Your father told you. I told you. Shawn told you to stay on the rock ledge and not to come down where you wouldn’t have any way of escape if she doubled back. You had a clean view of the entire pond from up there.”
Sara Jane blushed, knowing he was right, and she’d messed up, but in true Sara Jane form, she wasn’t going to readily admit she’d made a mistake. “Everything worked out okay.”
“Only because Shawn and I saw her tracks turn around and head back to where you were. Or where you should have been. I lost ten years off my life when we stepped into the clearing and saw you swimming in the middle of the pond and the cat starting to get into the water to come after you.” Carl had been dealing with nightmares since that eventful day, unable to ignore the potentially lethal outcome had he and Shawn not gotten there when they did.
Sara Jane tried to explain her actions, but they did nothing to assuage Carl’s fear on her behalf. “I got into the pond when she startled me. I didn’t think she’d try to follow me. I thought big cats didn’t like water?”
“Well, you were wrong. It seems they like water just as much as we do. Anyway, if Shawn and I hadn’t seen what was happening and shot her, you would have been at her mercy. You didn’t even take your rifle with you.”
“I didn’t want to get it wet if I slipped on the rocks. They were covered with moss and I knew they would be slick.”
“If you had stayed up on the ledge, slipping on the rocks wouldn’t have been a concern.”
“Well, I didn’t slip. When I saw the cat coming toward me, I backed up into the water. I was going to swim to the opposite shore and climb up on the rocks. I was hoping she wouldn’t be able to get up because the rocks were too slippery. My rifle was lying up there.”
“And you were going to handle that challenge how?” Carl argued.
“I don’t know. It didn’t happen because you killed that cat and I got out the same way I got in.”
“But that’s the point I’m trying to make. There was no reason why you should have felt like you had to retreat.”
“I didn’t intentionally …”
Carl nodded and quietly replied, “But you did intentionally put yourself in danger when you got off those rocks. Do you know how I would have felt? How your brothers or Pa would have felt if that cat had gotten to you? We would have all blamed ourselves for allowing you to come along.”
When she started to speak, he raised a hand and stopped her. “Sara Jane, I admire your gumption and there’s no question that you are talented in so many areas. But while I love knowing that you can ride with me anywhere I might want to go, I also will always want to protect you. As will any man on this ranch or worth his salt. It’s how God made us.”
“But I don’t need you to protect me, don’t you understand?” Sara Jane’s voice was petulant, and he could tell from her body posture that she was now on the defensive.
Carl nodded sadly and then sighed. “I do and that’s the problem. Sara Jane, you know I like you. A lot. I always have. Even when you pushed me out of the hayloft on accident and I broke my arm
…”
“I didn’t push you, you fell,” Sara Jane corrected his statement.
“It doesn’t really matter now, that was a long time ago. I still only had eyes for you. I had to hide how I felt about you because you were still so young.”
“We’re only five years apart,” Sara Jane reminded him as the fiddlers started playing a new dance tune.
“Yes, but when you were twelve and I was seventeen … well, let’s just say that both Gideon and Shawn threatened to beat me up and then hide the body if I ever went near you.” Thankfully, they had changed their tune and both men were of the opinion that Carl was the perfect man to rein their sister in. If anyone can get her to settle down, it’s you. Go after her with our blessings.
“They still want you to stay away from me?” Sara Jane asked.
“Not hardly. They are both confused as to the reason we aren’t already married and having our own little family.”