by Chloe Carley
“I won’t.” When he gave her a strange look, she just shooed him away. “Don’t make a big deal of it. It is cold in here and I prefer the warmth of the hearth in the house to getting frostbite on my toes and nose.”
“I didn’t say a word. See you later this afternoon when we get back.”
She watched him leave and then picked up one of the kittens and held it right in front of her face. “That man confuses me.”
The kitten tried to swipe her nose with its little paw and Sara Jane chuckled. “Sorry, little one. You’re going to have to get much bigger before you can take on the likes of me. Down you go.”
She made sure the kittens had a fresh bowl of milk and then left the stall, securing the latch behind her. Jace was just heading out and she joined him at the front of the barn. “How is Lily today?”
“She had a rough night. Her back aches something fierce. I stopped by to tell the boys I was going to stay home with her today and then I was going over to see if Tara would come and check on her.”
“I’m heading back to the house. I can give her the message if you like,” she offered.
“Thanks, Sara Jane. I’d appreciate that. If we need to fetch Doc, I’d like to do so before Carl and your brother head out of here.”
Sara Jane nodded and headed directly for the house. She found Ma and Tara in the kitchen and delivered her message.
Tara wiped her hands on a towel and then headed out. Her ma followed her, calling out, “Sara Jane, can you finish up the bread and set it to rise? I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”
Sara Jane looked at the mounds of dough on the table and called back weakly, “Sure.”
She removed her outerwear and then washed her hands. She rolled up the sleeves of her brother’s discarded shirt and eyed the dough from one angle and then another. “So, you’re supposed to be bread.”
Ma had already greased the bread pans and Sara Jane tried very hard to remember how much dough went into each. There were two separate batches of dough, one much larger than the next, and only three bread pans on the table. Deciding to split the dough into three equal parts, she reached for it with her bare hands, only to find them stuck together by the stickiness of the dough.
“Well, I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.” She did her best to scrape the dough off her fingers and then she eyed the sack of flour. She plunged both hands down into the sack to cover them in the white substance. “Let’s try this again.”
She reached for the dough, her hands able to manipulate it easily now, and she began to pull it into two like-sized lumps. She recalled watching others push the dough around a bit and she did so and then plopped the lumps into the bread pans.
Ma always set the bread to rise on the shelf above the hearth, and Sara Jane followed suit, only remembering to cover each pan with a separate towel before she started cleaning up the mess. There was flour on the floor, the table, and a fair amount on the front of her shirt and trousers. It took some time, but eventually she had everything cleaned up, including herself.
Pleased with her accomplishment, she decided to go work on the blanket, already bemoaning the need to make another one before the end of summer for Riley’s child. “Ma’s going to be so thrilled,” she whispered as she climbed the stairs.
She settled on her bed with the blanket and at least an hour went by before she realized she only had one row of stitching left to do. Concerned because she hadn’t heard Ma return, she put aside the blanket and went downstairs to find the house still empty.
The bread had risen and was ready to bake, so she stoked the coals and placed it inside the oven. She would need to stay down here until it was ready to come out or she would risk burning it up so that it wasn’t fit to be eaten by anyone. She moved to the front sitting room and looked out the window, frowning at Jace and Lily’s house.
She was just debating the wisdom of making the journey over there when she heard the back door in the kitchen open and Pa called out, “Sara Jane!”
Chapter 21
“Here, Pa. What’s happening?”
He smiled and but there was concern in his eyes. “Lily is having her babies. Shawn and Carl went to town to bring the doc back. Your ma wanted me to come and check on you. She said she left you to finish up the bread?”
“I just put it in the oven. Maybe I should take it out …”
“No,” her Pa stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Leave it to bake. Your ma sent me over here to get a few things.”
“Will you be going back over there?” Sara Jane inquired, sensing how worried Pa was. He was standing in the center of the room, looking around like he’d lost something, but couldn’t seem to remember exactly what.
“Pa?”
He blinked a few times and then blew out a long breath. “I need to get these things for your ma …”
“Maybe I can help?” she offered.
He listed several things to gather from the kitchen. Sara Jane quickly collected them and then handed them to him.
“Sara Jane, Lily … well, we’re all hoping for the best, but only the Good Lord knows how this is going to end. I’ve never seen your ma quite so worried. Tara’s mighty worried as well.”
“Ma ran out of here pretty quick.”
“The babies are coming too early. They might be fine, but they might also be poorly.” He sighed and then shook his head. “I truly don’t want to even think about what might happen.”
“The babies could … die?” Sara Jane asked quietly, somehow not even wanting to say the word, lest it become a prediction of the future.
James nodded and then gave her a sad smile. “That could be how this ends. Lily’s life is also in danger. Birthing is hard and with two babies … I should get these things back over there.”
“Will you stay there?” she asked.
“I will. Once the bread is finished, you’re welcome to join us. I’ll be keeping Jace company for as long as this takes. I didn’t see Gideon in the barn. Someone said you came to fetch him because Riley is sick?”
Sara Jane nodded. “She was feeling poorly this morning and asked me to go get him from the barn. Someone should tell them what’s happening.”
James nodded and then headed for the stairs. “I’ll check in on them in a bit. These things take time. I don’t think anyone’s going to rest easy until we know the outcome. Good or bad.”
Sara Jane sank down in the rocking chair by the hearth. “God, I know you’re listening so please help Lily right now. I’m scared for her and Jace and those precious babies. So is Ma, and if Ma is worried, it’s gotta be bad. Protect them all and bring healthy babies into our family.”
“Amen,” her pa stated with a wink of his eye as he came back down the stairs. “Thank you for the prayers, Sara Jane. I think we could all use them right now. Come and see us when you can.”
“I will.”
He left just as quickly as he’d arrived and she sat before the hearth, willing the bread to bake faster. She didn’t know that she could be of any help, but she had a strong desire to just be with everyone else. When the bread was finally golden brown on the top, she removed the pans and then slipped the bread from them and set the loaves on the table to cool.
She was just slipping her arms into her heavy duster when the sound of a wagon arriving had her opening the front door. The boys had returned with the doc. They immediately jumped down and headed for Jace and Lily’s.
Not wanting to be left out, she called out to Carl, “Wait for me.”
He waved the other two men on and came back for her. “Are you heading over to Lily’s?”
“I am. Ma asked me to finish the bread she and Tara were making … I baked it and it looks okay, but …”
“I’m sure it’s fine. Give me your hand and we’ll take the shortcut.”
“What about the ropes?” she asked him.
“It’s broad daylight. The sun is shining and there are more tracks going to Jace and Lily’s house than a stampede would leave. I
don’t think we’re going to get lost.”
She gave him her hand, grateful for the support as the snow was over her knees in some places. “Pa was over a bit ago and he said these things can take lots of time.”
Carl nodded. “That’s true. The longer it takes, the more dangerous it becomes.”
Sara Jane didn’t like the sound of that. “I hope for Lily’s sake it doesn’t take very long and that she and the babies are okay.”
“I think everyone is praying that very same thing, Sara Jane. I know everyone is worried, especially the doc.”
As they neared Gideon’s house, Sara Jane stopped and changed directions.
“Where are you going?”
“To check on Riley and let her and Gideon know what’s going on.”
“Good idea.”
Carl followed her up to the house and Riley, looking healthier again, opened the door after the first knock.
“Sara Jane. Carl. What brings you both here?”
Gideon joined her in the doorway and added his own question, “What’s wrong?”
“Lily’s having her babies.”
“We should go over there,” Riley told her husband.
“You haven’t been feeling well, are you sure you’re up to being there right now?” Gideon asked her quietly.
“I’m sure. Help me get my warm clothing on.” Riley told Sara Jane and Carl, “We’ll come over as soon as we can.”
Sara Jane allowed Carl to lead her back through the snow until they were standing on the porch that wrapped itself all the way around Jace and Lily’s house. They stamped the snow from their boots and then removed them at the front door before entering.
Carl helped her remove her duster and then took her gloves and scarf and tucked them into the armhole before hanging it upon one of the numerous pegs by the door. “They’re upstairs.”
“Is Doc with them?” she asked.
“He is,” her Pa said.
Sara Jane thought about that for a moment and then headed for an empty seat at the table. “I’ll just wait until he comes back down.” She clasped her hands in her lap, but she couldn’t seem to quit looking upward, worry etched on her face.
It was too silent. Nobody was talking. They were just sitting there, worrying about what was happening above stairs. It made the situation much worse in Sara Jane’s opinion. She began to worry her hands and rocked back and forth on her chair, resisting the urge to get up and go see what was happening.
It seemed to have gotten to everyone else, for after long minutes, the men started discussing ranch business. Calving. Anything to take their minds off what was happening upstairs. Sara Jane just listened, but didn’t join in. She kept seeing the worry on Ma’s face.
Carl joined her a while later, sitting in the chair beside her. “Sara Jane? Talk to me.”
“About?”
“Anything. It will help,” he assured her. “Tell me what else have you been up to besides finishing your ma’s bread.”
She almost refused, but then she realized that he was right. Sitting here worrying wasn’t helping at all. She looked around to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation.
“I almost finished the second blanket,” she whispered. He was the only person on the ranch whom she’d told about the baby blankets.
“Good for you. I can’t wait to see them,” he whispered back.
“Christmas morning.” Please God, let there be babies to give them to.
Carl nodded and then joined the conversations that had started going on around them but stayed by her side and encouraged her to join in once in a while. It seemed like each minute took an hour to pass by as they all waited and worried.
She looked up when she heard the doors open and close, but no one came down the stairs and Sara Jane found herself scared to go up. Riley and Gideon arrived ten minutes later, and Riley seemed just as reluctant to venture upstairs.
Hours passed and Riley finally suggested that she and Sara Jane should fix something simple to eat. Gideon and Carl offered to go to the big house and bring back whatever they needed. Riley gave them a list of things, and Sara Jane reminded Carl to bring the bread back as well.
Riley began moving around the small kitchen and Sara Jane did her best to help, watching her sister-in-law carefully the whole time. She wanted to one day be as comfortable in the kitchen as she was on Shiloh’s back. That meant she needed to practice. Something she now knew she should have been doing all along.
The men returned with their arms full, carrying a large pot between them. “What’s in there?” Sara Jane asked.
“Beans. Ma must have started them last night and intended to cook them up with some salt pork for supper. Figured we shouldn’t let them go to waste.”
“Heavens, no. Set it on the hearth and that’s what we’ll have for supper.” Riley took the other supplies from them and then Carl finally handed over the three loaves of bread. “Oh, this looks wonderful.”
“Thank Sara Jane. She finished it up when Pearl and Tara rushed over her.”
“Sara Jane, well done. It looks perfect. Why don’t you help me get everything else added to the pot? It will need to cook for several hours yet.”
Riley gave instructions and Sara Jane followed them precisely, pleased with the outcome each time. She could feel Carl’s eyes watching her as she moved about the kitchen, and she couldn’t help but sneak glances over at him.
“So, you are Carl are getting along so much better. Has he asked you to marry him yet?”
Sara Jane was stunned and shook her head. “Not really …”
“What does that mean? He either has, or he hasn’t.”
“Well, he keeps telling me I’m going to marry him, but that I’m not quite ready yet.”
Riley frowned and asked, “What does he mean by that?”
“I wish I knew. He’s waiting for something, but I don’t know what it is.”
I really wish I did know. When Carl first told me that he was going to court me and that I was going to marry him one day, I scoffed at the notion. I mean, I grew up pestering him and he was always one of the first to boss me around and tell me what I did wrong. Fighting is what we’ve always done best. Until recently. I thought maybe it was him changing, but I think maybe I’ve been changing too.
I know he still intends to ask me to marry him, but he hasn’t said anything for a while. I can’t bring it up … that would be much too forward, and what if he has changed his mind? I would look like a fool.
But I’m fairly certain he hasn’t changed his mind. I just don’t know what he’s waiting for. Maybe he thinks I might reject him still? Have I done a good job of letting him know that’s not the case? Maybe I need to say something after all? I just don’t know.
I’m fairly certain I want to marry Carl. I just wish he’d hurry up and ask me and make it official. I can be patient. For a while. Still … maybe he’s waiting for me to give him some sort of signal. I just wish I knew what that could be.
Riley murmured, “He watches you all of the time. I’m betting it won’t be long now.”
“I wish we could say that with confidence about Lily and the babies. It’s been hours.”
Riley and Sara Jane looked at the ceiling, listening for a moment and hearing nothing. “Shouldn’t someone have brought us news by now?”
Sara Jane nodded and then took a breath. “Pa said I could go up … I thought to wait until the doctor came down, but maybe he’s not going to do so until after.”
She glanced at Riley, frowning when she noticed her face was turning that peculiar color of green once again. “Are you going to be sick?”
“Maybe …” Riley covered her mouth and rushed for the back door, stepping outside. Only the sounds of her retching could be heard, and Sara Jane immediately went into the other room to find Gideon.
“Your wife is sick again,” she told him. Gideon hurried into the kitchen and a moment later the back door opened and closed. Sara Jane looked at her pa and asked,
“Has no one come down yet?”
“No. It’s been a few hours …”
She glanced up the stairs case and nodded once. “Someone should go and see if everything is okay or if they need anything.” She glanced around the room, realizing that she was the only one who could possibly undertake that mission. Men weren’t normally allowed in the birthing room and with Riley behind the house losing the contents of her stomach, that only left her.
“Okay, I’ll go up.” She placed a hand on the rail and took the stairs one at a time, stepping quietly and carefully. She wanted to see Lily, but she was also fearful of what she might actually see or hear. Ma had said that birthing human babies was much different than cows and Sara Jane hadn’t truly believed her. Until now. The worry in her ma’s eyes was enough to strike fear in everyone below stairs.