A Year of Finding Happiness

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A Year of Finding Happiness Page 15

by Lisa Hobman


  ‘Are you okay, Gregory? Your cheeks are flushed. Are you coming down with something, hon?’ Stella asked, concern lacing her voice.

  ‘No… no, I’m not. Look, Stella, I need some time off. Is that okay? Just a few days. I need to clear my head.’

  She crumpled her brow in concern. ‘If you need it, Greg, then take it. But please be back for when Mallory goes, eh?’

  ‘Sure. Of course.’

  She placed a glass with two fingers of amber liquid before me. ‘Looks like you need this.’

  I lifted the glass to my lips and stared into it for a moment. Deciding not to resort to my usual method of escape, and knowing it would limit how soon I could leave, I lowered it again.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  The door to the pub burst open and I heard heavy, stomping footsteps coming towards me. That familiar flowery scent hit me.

  Mallory.

  ‘What the hell happened to you back there?’ she demanded.

  I closed my eyes, unable to look into hers. ‘Mallory, not now, okay?’

  ‘Yes, now. What did I do?’

  With as much venom as I could muster, I snapped back at her, ‘Oh yes, ’cause the world revolves around you, now, doesn’t it, eh?’

  She gasped and I felt like shit. I made the mistake of glancing in her direction and meeting her pain-filled eyes. ‘That’s unfair, Greg. All I want to do is understand. You said I should show you the dress, so I did. Then you went all Weirdsville and beggared off.’

  I couldn’t answer. What could I say?

  ‘Okay, have it your way. I’ll just keep out of your way tonight, okay?’

  I continued to stare into my glass, swirling the liquid around; I still hadn’t touched the whisky. ‘No need. I’ve got the rest of the week off, so I’m leaving for a while.’

  ‘Oh. Right… what am I to do about Ruby, then, for my holiday? Do you know of a boarding kennel?’

  I glared at her as my stomach twisted into knots and my fists clenched. ‘Don’t fuckin’ worry, I’ll be back by Friday. God forbid I should let you down and disappoint you again, eh?’

  She threw up her hands in exasperation. I couldn’t blame her. ‘Oh, whatever, Greg. I can take her somewhere else.’

  I almost growled my next words. ‘I said I’d have her and I will. Bring her to mine at five Friday. I’ll be there.’ And without saying anything further I stood, slammed my glass of untouched single malt down, and walked out.

  *

  I needed to get away and there was no time like the present. When I arrived home, Angus followed me around the house as I grabbed clothes and shoved them into my duffle bag. I had no idea where I would go; the Buckle didn’t feel like the right place. Wherever I ended up, I wanted to be outdoors, so I pulled my tent out of the under-stairs cupboard and carried it and my bag out to the car. After selecting a few CDs to take with me, I called to Angus and we climbed into the Landy.

  There were so many emotions swirling around my head that I didn’t know how to handle them. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as tears stung my eyes. What the hell was I playing at? She was infuriating! And I hated that she affected me this way. I just wanted it to stop. I needed to grieve and then get on with my life. Mallory was a complication I couldn’t cope with. Even though it wasn’t her fault I was falling – had fallen – for her.

  Slipping a CD into the slot, I turned the key in the ignition then cranked up the sound and inhaled a calming breath. The heartbreaking lyrics of ‘3 Libras’ filled the car and I set off. Unsure of where I was going but desperately needing to get there.

  *

  Night fell and after a couple of hours of driving, I was seeing signs for Mallaig. It seemed like as good a place as any. I located a small but crowded campsite on the edge of the town and drove in.

  I was greeted by a pretty woman with bright blue eyes. Her long black hair was streaked with a blue similar to her eyes, and she smiled widely when I stepped inside the reception cabin. It struck me how similar her eyes were to Mallory’s, and I shook my head to dislodge the errant thought. I was here to get away from her, not to compare every woman I saw to her.

  ‘Look, I know it’s late, but I was wondering if you had a small pitch available for a few days. I know it’s short notice.’ I cringed, expecting her to say no, judging by how busy the small site was.

  ‘One sec… I think we had a cancellation earlier on. I heard my dad on the phone, so let me just check the system.’

  She tip-tapped on the computer in front of her and smiled again. ‘You’re in luck! Just one spot. It’s a large pitch in the quiet area, if that’s okay? At least that means you can set up right in the middle and have some privacy, eh?’

  ‘Oh, that’s great. Thank you…’ I glanced at her name badge. ‘Thank you, Trina.’

  ‘No problem. The thing is, it’s a bit late to be hammering in pegs just now so you’ll have to keep the noise down.’ It was her turn to cringe now.

  ‘Would it be easier if I maybe slept in the car tonight and set up tomorrow? So I don’t upset the neighbours?’ I asked with a smile.

  ‘Well, that’s entirely up to you.’

  I’d slept in the Landy before so it was no big deal. ‘Yeah, sure. No worries.’

  ‘Great. Can I get you to fill in a registration form, please?’ She handed me the form and a pen and then stepped around the counter. ‘Aww, who’s this handsome chap?’ she asked.

  Feeling playful, I didn’t look up, but instead I answered, ‘Oh, my name’s Greg, nice to meet you.’ I glanced up and I smiled.

  She laughed at me. ‘I think you know I meant the dog, Greg.’

  ‘A fella can try though, eh? He’s Angus and he’s a lot more trouble than I am.’ I winked at her. What the hell was I doing? Bloody moron.

  She bent and scratched Angus’s head before straightening up and fiddling with her blue-streaked locks and biting her lip. ‘So, what brings you to Mallaig, Greg?’

  ‘Ah, just needed a wee break. You know how it is.’

  ‘I do, yes. What are your plans while you’re here?’

  ‘No idea. I thought I might do the local pubs tomorrow, you know, sample the local beer. Although it’ll be a bit like a busman’s holiday, considering I work in a pub myself.’

  She looked thoughtful. ‘Have you eaten? There’s a great burger place up the road if you fancy it. They’re open late.’

  Fuck me, she’s not backwards at coming forward… reminds me of someone I’d rather forget. Oh, well, in for a penny, as they say. ‘That’d be great, Trina. I could eat a horse.’

  She giggled. ‘Will a beef burger do?’

  I shrugged and chuckled. ‘I suppose. Are you heading up that way now?’

  ‘I am. I just need to lock up. You can leave your car out front.’

  She went about closing up the place and removed her name badge, placing it on the counter. We stepped out of the building and locked the door.

  ‘Are you sure you want to escort me for a burger? You don’t exactly know me,’ I said, suddenly wondering if this was a mistake.

  She stopped and put her hands on my shoulders. ‘Okay, Greg. I’m a black belt in karate and I teach self-defence at a women’s centre. So don’t try anything funny and you’ll be fine.’

  I widened my eyes. ‘Shit, maybe it’s me that should be worried. Don’t take advantage of me, will you?’ I joked in a feminine tone. She slapped my arm playfully and we set off.

  It was strangely comfortable walking along the road with Trina. She seemed sweet and had a sexy figure, so it was no hardship chatting to her.

  We arrived at the burger joint and I ordered food for both of us and a couple of patties without bread for Angus, who was waiting patiently outside. I was pretty sure I shouldn’t have done that, but as soon as we’d got near the place and he smelled food, he was drooling and staring at me with his big brown eyes so I couldn’t resist.

  After handing over the money we stepped outside and walked over to a wooden bench to eat.


  ‘So, what did you need a break from back at home?’ she asked as we sat there.

  ‘Long story,’ I replied through a mouthful of burger.

  She nudged me. ‘I don’t have to be anywhere. I’m a bit old for a curfew.’

  I heaved out a long breath. ‘I needed some space from… someone. A woman. Mallory. We’re friends but… well, things have been a bit tricky recently.’

  ‘Ah. I see. Friendships between men and women can be difficult. I hope you get it sorted when you get back.’

  ‘Me too. Anyway, I don’t really feel like talking about her.’

  ‘Look, I don’t normally do this… but… I live on the site in a caravan. My folks own the place and I run it most of the time, although today was my last day for a few, so… Look, what I’m trying to say is, do you want to come back to my caravan for a drink or something?’

  ‘Or something?’

  ‘You know… a drink, and we’ll see where things go?’

  ‘Trina, I’ve known you for an hour. You don’t know me from Adam. This isn’t exactly a safe situation for you to be in.’

  She laughed. ‘The fact that you’re saying that tells me you’re not dangerous. And like I said, I’m a martial artist who knows how to take a man down. And who says a woman can’t be forward these days? I’m all for equality.’

  I sat there listening to her, thinking that this was crazy. But then again, I was single. I had no ties. And I was looking for a total break for a while. She seemed nice and I didn’t have to have sex with the woman unless I wanted to.

  ‘If you’re sure. That’d be great. Warmer than going straight back to the car, that’s for sure, thanks.’

  ‘Come on, then.’ She held out her hand and pulled me up to my feet.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Back at Trina’s home, she opened the door and flicked on the light. It wasn’t like any caravan I’d ever seen. It was far more luxurious, rather like a small apartment. The décor was neutral and she had pretty much everything she would’ve had in a one-bedroom flat.

  ‘What can I get you to drink?’ she asked as I glanced around my new surroundings.

  ‘Whatever you’ve got.’

  ‘A glass of single malt?’

  ‘Really? I wouldn’t have taken you for a whisky drinker.’

  She smiled and bit her lip again. ‘It’s my dad’s, actually. I’m not keen. I think I’ll have a glass of red wine.’

  ‘Oh, right.’ I suddenly felt old. ‘Wine will be fine for me too.’

  She poured two glasses of Shiraz and handed one to me. We both sat in silence on the coffee-coloured sofa at one end of the caravan. I felt out of place.

  ‘Can I ask… how old are you, Trina?’

  She laughed at my question. ‘Don’t fret. I’m thirty. I just look young, which can be a blessing and a curse really. Can you believe I still have to show my driving licence before I can buy wine? It makes me laugh.’

  I relaxed a little. ‘So what are you doing on your days off? Any big plans?’

  ‘Well… there’s this guy who’s new to the area and I thought… maybe he might like a tour guide?’ She stared at me expectantly.

  ‘Oh, right. Right.’

  ‘I mean, I don’t have to, obviously—’

  ‘Oh, no, that’s fine. That’d be nice, thanks.’ I glanced at the clock and it was already heading for one in the morning. ‘Look, I should go really. I’ve a date with ma hairy friend Angus, a sleeping bag and a car seat.’ I chuckled.

  ‘Look, sleep on the couch. Set up your tent tomorrow morning when you’ve had a decent night’s sleep, eh? I’m sure Angus will appreciate the carpet too.’

  I scrunched my brow. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Positive. It’s fine. I’ve taken pity on you. Not all women are trying to drive you mad, you see?’

  I laughed and shook my head as she went into what I presumed to be her bedroom and returned with a fleece blanket and a pillow.

  She held them out towards me. ‘Here you go, Greg. Bathroom is through there and if you need anything in the night my room is through here. Help yourself to tea and coffee and anything you fancy to eat.’

  I cringed. ‘Trina, this just doesn’t—’

  ‘I’ve said it’s fine. Don’t worry. Goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight. And thanks again.’

  I lay awake for quite a while, knowing that being in the home of some woman I’d only just met was not the best idea I’d ever had. But eventually I drifted off.

  *

  My eyes fluttered open and I was surrounded by an expanse of white. Completely disorientated, I sat up and peered at my surroundings until my eyes finally settled on a red figure in the distance. Scrambling to my feet, I squinted at the figure, trying my best to focus on it. It was then that I heard her screaming my name. Horror washed over me and I began to run towards her as quick as I could, but my legs felt weighted down, making it difficult to move. Cold seeped into my bones and when I glanced down, I realised I was shirtless and wearing only my boxers. Why was I outside in the snow in only my underwear? Confusion took over for a moment until the screaming stopped.

  When I returned my focus to the girl again, she’d gone and panic rose within me. Who was it and why was she screaming? I’d let her down. She was gone and it was my fault for losing concentration. My eyes darted around me as my heart pounded at the inside of my ribcage. I could hear her calling my name again, over and over, but I couldn’t see her. My breathing had become erratic and I suddenly couldn’t move my feet at all. I flailed my arms madly, trying to make myself move, but I was cemented to the spot in the freezing white landscape.

  ‘Greg… Greg… wake up.’ Someone was shaking me lightly as I opened my eyes.

  I glanced around, trying to get my bearings. ‘Oh… h-hi. I’m… sorry… I…’

  ‘It’s okay. That was some nightmare. Are you okay?’ she asked, pushing my hair out of my eyes. She had switched on a lamp and was sitting beside me on the sofa, concern etched on her face.

  I pulled myself up to a sitting position. ‘Yeah. I’m fine. Did I wake you?’

  She shrugged and smiled. ‘Yes, but it’s fine.’ She cupped my cheek and ran her thumb over my bottom lip.

  I stared into her blue eyes and was suddenly transported somewhere else entirely. Without thinking, I slipped my hand into the black and blue strands of her silky hair and pulled her towards me with urgency, crushing my mouth into hers. She gasped as my tongue slid past her lips and then moaned as she smoothed her hands up my bare chest. Her hands travelled up again and fisted in my hair as the kiss gained fervour. My heart pounded and our heavy breaths sounded loud in the silence of the room. Our tongues tangled and I hardened in my boxers. With her mouth still on mine, she moved so that she straddled my waist and ground her pelvis into me.

  God, I needed this. I needed to feel; to be connected to someone physically again; to let passion and adrenaline course through my veins and to just lose myself in a woman once more. But the heated exchange felt wrong and the only person in my mind was… Mallory.

  I pulled away. My chest was heaving and I ran my hands through my hair just so that I had an excuse to take them from her body. ‘Shit… sorry, T-Trina. I… I can’t do this.’ I closed my eyes as guilt and self-loathing took over. Opening them again, I was met by the understanding gaze of the stranger I’d tried to pretend was Mallory only moments before. But she didn’t come close to Mallory in any way, and I hated myself for almost getting carried away with her.

  She stroked her fingers down my face. ‘Hey, it’s okay. We can get to know each other first. I’m not really that kind of girl anyway. But… I find you very attractive and I really like you… so I would’ve slept with you. Just so you know.’

  I caught her smiling at me, her plumps lips swollen and red. She was very pretty. But she wasn’t Mallory… or Mairi for that matter. Climbing off me, she pulled down the hem of her vest top and adjusted her sleep shorts where they had got twisted in our body
collision.

  ‘Do you fancy a coffee and a bacon sandwich maybe?’ she asked as she walked towards the kitchen area.

  ‘Just coffee, thanks. It’s getting light out and I should go and get my tent set up.’

  ‘Okay. But… well, you’d be welcome to stay here if you’d like?’

  ‘Na’, it’s okay. I like camping. And besides, you need your personal space, so…’

  She nodded sadly and went to turn on the kettle. ‘You can use the shower if you’d like.’

  ‘I’ll grab one after I’ve put the tent up. I’ll use the shower block though. I don’t want to put you out any more than I have.’

  ‘Well, you haven’t, so don’t worry.’

  I went into the bathroom to get dressed, but first I stood before the mirror to examine my reflection. Who the hell was I kidding? There was no way someone like Mallory would be in the slightest bit interested in someone like me. Trina, on the other hand… She was different. And she was available. She was definitely attracted to me; the incident earlier had proved that. And for a split second I’d really wanted her. Maybe moving on with Trina was the right thing to do? Maybe I should’ve just given in to my baser desires and done the deed. Moving away from whatever the hell I was feeling for the Yorkshire lass was what was needed. And Trina was sexy in a blue-haired, quirky kind of way. Okay, so she didn’t have Mallory’s curves and her smile didn’t make my insides flip-flop, but her personality was… was… nice. But Mallory had the ability to turn me to mush with just a look or a baggy sweater.

  Ugh! I was doing myself no good at all. I dressed quickly and went back out to the living area, where Trina handed me a coffee. We drank in silence and, once we were done, I went out to the Landy, climbed in, and drove round to my pitch. She wasn’t wrong when she said it was a large plot. It was screened on three sides by trees, and there was a little picnic bench to one end. My tent was usually a doddle to set up, but the rocky ground meant a bit of elbow grease and heavy hammering was necessary. I took out my pent-up sexual and emotional frustration on the poor tent pegs, bending some in the process, and I realised it was a good thing I hadn’t attempted this the night before.

 

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