by Bella Abbott
I stopped at the cafeteria and sprang for a cup of coffee and a bran muffin – a small concession to a healthy diet after bingeing on pizza and lasagna over the last few days. The dining area was buzzing with activity as other students wolfed down hasty breakfasts, chatting with one another good-naturedly in a way I’ve never been able to manage.
I walked with a throng of others to the lecture hall, and when I got to my psych class, there were instructions for the groups to go to various classrooms. Mine was nearby, and I saw Kate talking to Robert as I approached, twisting a strand of hair and beaming a smile at him, laughing at something he’d said.
“There she is,” Kate said, as though she hadn’t seen me twenty minutes earlier in the room.
“Morning,” I said.
“How’s the movie business?” Robert asked.
“It’s okay, I guess. Not really my thing,” I said.
More students arrived, and we entered the classroom and took our seats as Robert walked to the podium and organized his notes. When everyone was there, he opened the textbook and launched into an explanation of a chapter I’d already read. My mind wandered and I tuned him out. For some reason, Jared in soaked jeans and a black silk dress shirt from the night before was more on my mind. He’d seemed so concerned when it had been just the two of us, and then Christina had appeared… Well, you didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why. The film was clearly a vehicle to capitalize on his growing popularity and make him a movie star. If Christina was producing it, she had to be close to him. The question is, just how close?
Kate, sitting beside me, gave me a jab with her elbow. “What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Oh. Nothing.”
“You see Jared last night?” she whispered.
I cursed silently. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.”
“Hey, just asking how things are going.”
I glanced at Robert, who hadn’t noticed our hushed exchange. “There aren’t any things to be going. I’ve told you guys that a dozen times.”
“Hmm.”
I made a show out of taking notes about something Robert was saying, frowning like it took some enormous amount of brain power and concentration to write down crucial information like “So as we can see, there is still a need for further research,” and Kate went back to either listening to the lecture or not listening – I couldn’t tell. I kept my head down for the remainder of the class and was relieved when it was over. I hurried to get to the door ahead of Kate, which turned out not to be hard – mainly because she was beelining toward Robert. You go, Kate. Robert was good-looking and charming enough, I guess, but not my type at all.
And what was my type? Apparently devastatingly handsome rock stars. Which was beyond hopeless.
Alex was loitering outside the English classroom and greeted me with a country-boy grin.
“Hey, Lacey. You doing anything after classes today?”
I bit back a harsh reply. He was just being sweet, and had no idea how ugly my mood was. No need to take it out on him.
“I don’t know yet, Alex. Why?”
“I was thinking of heading into town to see a movie later.”
There was nothing I wanted to do less, but I also needed something to distract me from obsessing over Jared. A movie sounded harmless, and Alex was a nice enough guy.
“What’s playing?”
He named a film that had just come out.
I tried a smile, and to my surprise, I did feel a little better for it.
“Let’s talk after class,” I said, putting off the decision till later.
“Sure. I can come by the dorm.”
When I got back to the dorm after classes were over, all three of my roommates were standing around the circular table, looking at something. They spun around when they heard me enter, and their expressions stopped me in my tracks.
“What?” I asked.
Sarah stepped aside so I could see the table. On it stood a vase with a dozen white roses and a card.
“Who got flowers?” I asked. Probably Sarah.
“Um…you did,” said Kate.
“Me? Are you sure? Who are they from?” I asked with a frown. Flowers didn’t really seem like my stepmom’s kind of thing. Plus who celebrates the middle of the first week of school?
“It doesn’t say,” Sarah answered. “A secret admirer! I love that kind of thing.”
I approached the table and they pressed around me, making me instantly claustrophobic. I kept my breathing even, as I’d learned from videos on the internet, and picked up the card. My name was typed on the front, but there was nothing else. I turned it over to see what florist had delivered it, but it was blank.
“Anyone see who delivered them?” I asked.
“Nope. They were outside the door when I got here,” Serena said.
“They’re gorgeous,” Kate said.
“How romantic.” Sarah sighed. “Old-fashioned. I’d prefer a diamond, but flowers are nice.”
Kate’s eyes narrowed. “You’d settle for a twelve-pack.”
Sarah smiled. “Don’t be a hater.” She lifted a rose from the vase and sniffed it before setting it back. “Someone’s trying to say they like Lacey,” she teased.
A knock at the door startled us. “Yeah?” Sarah called.
Alex’s head poked through the gap. “Hey, Lacey.” He looked over at the flowers and smiled. “Nice roses.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “Did you…?”
“Did I what?” he asked innocently as he stepped into the room. “A gentleman never tells.” His smile broadened. “You up for that movie?”
Sarah and Kate shared a glance, and Kate looked at Alex. “You like white roses?” she asked.
“Who doesn’t?” he replied playfully.
“What time’s the movie start?” I asked.
“In about forty-five minutes. Don’t worry, I’ve got a car.”
Serena caught my eye, one eyebrow raised.
I kept my voice even. “Sure. Why not?”
Alex’s face lit up. “Cool.”
“Just give me maybe ten minutes to get ready, okay? I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Sure thing.”
He left, and Sarah laughed. “Looks like we found your mystery admirer. Lacey’s gonna bag her some country lovin’!”
I refused to allow annoyance to show. “It’s a movie, not an orgy, Sarah.”
“They aren’t mutually exclusive,” she fired back.
Kate couldn’t resist. “Take it from Sarah. She speaks from experience.”
I disappeared into the bathroom, more amused by them than I let on. Alex was a pleasant-looking guy and was nice enough. But he’s no Jared.
Which stopped me in front of the mirror. I stared at my reflection for a long beat and then whispered to myself, “There is no Jared. Get over it already.”
Pathetic. How could I hope to convince my roommates when I couldn’t even convince myself? I opted for a quick shower and was dressed and ready downstairs in under the promised ten minutes.
The theater was only half full, and I picked the seats while Alex got the popcorn and sodas. He found me just as the ads came on screen. When the movie started, I was instantly drawn in – I’m a sucker for sci-fi, and this was the continuation of a series I’d fallen in love with back in high school in Pennsylvania.
When the movie ended, Alex’s arm was on the back of my seat, halfway between being around me and just resting there. I didn’t protest, but was relieved he didn’t try one of the clumsy kisses I’d fended off for years from boys back home. We exited the theater and made small talk about the movie, and he suggested we go up the street for ice cream.
“How can I say no to that?” I asked.
“No reason to,” he said.
We walked slowly to an old-fashioned ice cream parlor that could have stepped out of the 1950s. We ordered a couple of vanilla cones and sat eating them on red vinyl stools.
“What’s your story, Lacey?
I don’t know that much about you other than you’re in my class,” he said.
I shrugged. “Not a lot to tell. Small-town girl goes away to better herself. You can probably fill in the blanks.”
“How come you didn’t just go to a regular college? You’re smart enough. I can tell.”
I shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really know it was an option. When I was in high school, all I really wanted was to not be in high school. I took the bare minimum classes required, did OK in them but nothing spectacular, and then…I guess I just figured I’d get a job when I graduated.”
“And there were no jobs?”
“Oh, there were. Sort of. If I hadn’t worked in a restaurant, I probably could have worked at the gas station. Or maybe the convenience store. And then it occurred to me I should have spent the last few years actually learning something. All the colleges I looked at had entrance requirements I couldn’t make – two years of a foreign language, two more years of math, stuff like that.”
“You never had a guidance counselor or anyone tell you what classes to take?”
I laughed, picturing Mr. Wainwright. “Our guidance counselor was busy with kids skipping classes or smoking pot. Nobody was planning on college.”
“So how did you find this place?”
“My stepmom went here, ages ago. Kind of a similar story, actually – bright enough, but never did much in high school, and then needed a bridge program to help her take the next step. Which, in the end, she never did. She married my dad instead, and less than a year later, he died. Cancer.”
“Oh, wow. That must have been tough. Is your mother… I mean, your…”
He was probably struggling not to say real mother. I put him out of his misery. “My actual mother died giving birth to me. So we never met. My stepmom… I like her, she’s good people, but we’re not super close. My final years of high school, when my dad was gone, we were more like roommates. But she did find me this place.”
“Did you…is there anyone back home waiting for you?”
The question was so carefully worded I had to laugh. The expression on his face told me I shouldn’t have. I grew serious and took another bite of my cone. “Just my stepmom. Although I’m not sure she’s really waiting.”
“Nobody else?”
I locked eyes with him. “You mean a boyfriend? Or girlfriend?”
He looked down. “Something like that.”
I sighed. “No. How about you?”
“I haven’t seen anyone I’m really interested in. I mean, well, you know.”
A doubt suddenly occurred to me. I debated how to frame the question I wanted to ask, and then just blurted it out. “Did you send the flowers, Alex?”
His eyes widened. “I told you, a gentleman never–”
“Cut the crap,” I warned, an edge to my voice. “Did you, or didn’t you?”
He exhaled and averted his gaze again. “No. I…I don’t know why I sort of gave the impression…I…”
“You didn’t give the impression,” I snapped. “You basically took credit for it.”
“I never outright claimed I sent them,” he tried, but it sounded lame. “Okay. Look, haven’t you ever done something on an impulse and immediately wished you could take it back? That’s what happened. All I can say is I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to trick you or anything.”
My temper subsided almost as quickly as it had risen. Alex sounded genuinely contrite, and I’d also done my share of things I wished I could undo. Going off with Luke came to mind, and with it, a vision of Jared’s face. Which was the last thing I wanted to think about, having successfully forgotten about him for a few hours.
I stood and tossed the remainder of my cone in the trash. “I should probably be getting back.”
“Lacey…”
“Alex, it’s been a tiring day. I had a good time at the movie, and I enjoyed the ice cream, but…I want to go home.”
We walked to the car and drove back to Ridley in uncomfortable silence. When I climbed from the passenger seat, I’d calmed myself, and I turned to him before closing the door. “Alex, I don’t like what you did with the flowers, but you were honest in the end, and that counts for a lot.”
“Can we just forget the whole thing? I’m really sorry, and if I could take it back…” His voice trailed off like he’d run out of air.
I closed my eyes for a second and nodded. “It’s forgotten. It isn’t a big deal.”
“I…I’m sorry I pissed you off.”
That drew a harsh laugh from me. “Oh, Alex. Trust me. You’d know if you’d really pissed me off. This is nothing.”
I could feel his eyes following me as I walked to the dorm entrance. Angry as I’d been, that was a small example of the rages that could overtake me. My stepmom had compared them to severe summer storms that came out of nowhere – one minute the sky was clear, and the next it was lightning and thunder and roads washing out. I’d learned to control them as I’d grown older, but they were always with me, lingering in the background, waiting to force their way to the forefront when something triggered them.
Poor Alex had no idea the bullet he’d dodged when I left him sitting in the parking lot with the engine running, probably wishing he’d never gotten out of bed that morning.
The bullet we both dodged.
Chapter 13
The mystery of who sent the roses dominated my thoughts, and I found it hard to concentrate on class as I ran scenarios.
I spent lunch with Kate and Sarah in the cafeteria debating the possibilities, in spite of my instinct to avoid their flights of fancy. We chose a table in a quiet corner and ate enchiladas that tasted like cardboard tubes slathered with tomato paste and plastic cheese.
“I hope it’s that Robert, from your psych class,” Sarah declared. “He’s rich and eligible, but would want to keep any moves on an academy girl on the down low.”
“Except he’s not my admirer, secret or not,” I fired back. “You got the wrong roommate. He’s interested in Kate, from what I can see.”
Kate blushed. “He has been really friendly lately.”
Although he’s had plenty of encouragement, too.
“So who do you think it is?” Sarah asked.
“I don’t know.” A thought hit me with blinding clarity. “You know, we’re assuming this is about romance. But what if it’s more of an ‘I’m sorry’ thing? Or a ‘get well’ gesture?”
“Are you dying or something we don’t know about?”
I sighed. “Remember Luke? What if he felt bad about what he did?” If the roses are from him, I’m throwing them out.
“Pigs like that never feel anything,” Sarah snapped.
“So do you have a secret illness?” Kate giggled.
I took a drink of my diet cola and eyed them both. “You have to swear you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
“Oh, my God! You’re actually sick?” Sarah exclaimed.
“No. But swear,” I insisted.
“Fine,” Kate said. “Now spill.”
Sarah nodded.
I shook my head at her. “Say it.”
She rolled her eyes. “I swear.”
I looked out over the cafeteria. “OK, well, the night before last, I had an accident at the set. Long story short, I managed to fall into the river and nearly kill myself while I was running an errand. They had the doctor look me over after and gave me the week off work. But I’m thinking that the company sent the flowers as kind of an apology or something. Like for someone who got hurt at your store or restaurant, even if it wasn’t your fault.”
The light went out of Sarah’s eyes, and Kate nodded. “That’s probably it, then, isn’t it?”
“Not nearly as romantic, though,” Sarah agreed.
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner,” I said. “Straightest line between two points. I klutz out; they send flowers so I don’t sue.”
“Total buzzkill though.” Sarah sighed. “I like the mystery-man theory better.”
“Only there’s nobody who fits the bill,” Kate said.
“Let’s talk Alex, then,” Sarah said. “You weren’t very forthcoming after your date. What happened?”
“I tore him a new one for pretending to have sent the flowers,” I admitted. “It wasn’t pretty.”
Sarah pouted. “Poor Alex. Here he was thinking he was gonna get lucky, and you just shut him down.” She forked more enchilada into her mouth. “But he’s still in the game, right?”
I pushed my plate away. “There’s no game. None. I’m not looking to find a boyfriend. I’m absolutely fine being single. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. What’s the rush?”
Sarah smirked. “Still got the hots for Jared, huh? It’s that stupid poster. And you should throw that jacket away. Or better yet, give it to someone else.” She waved her hand over her head. “Oh, I know! I’ll take it!”
I laughed and carried my tray to one of the racks, feeling relief at having solved the puzzle of the flowers. The girls lived in a world where dark strangers pursued them at every turn, but not me. I preferred facts and logic every time. If only life were as simple as coding. If A, then B. With no wrong turns.
I was still congratulating myself on having figured out the flowers when I finished my last class of the day and climbed the stairs to the dorm room. Serena was sitting at her table with a white package in front of her. She gazed up at me with a mystified expression when I entered.
“This is for you,” she said. “It was outside the door. Just like the flowers.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. I just got here two minutes ago.” She paused. “Open it.”
My hands were trembling as I set down my backpack and sat across from Serena. The box was a foot long by maybe eight inches wide. It was wrapped in some sort of shimmering white paper held together by a series of silver foil stickers along the seam on the bottom.
I was tearing at the outer layer when Sarah and Kate burst through the door, laughing. They quieted when they saw the expression on Serena’s face.