by Leddy Harper
“We sincerely apologize, which is why we’re leaving.” Luckily, Finn had calmed down enough to handle the situation. Lord knew I was too humiliated to attempt a response. “We clearly aren’t cut out for yoga, but if we were, we would’ve enjoyed your class immensely. You’re a fantastic instructor.”
I stood and glared at Finn, wondering if he was always this big of a suck-up.
“You’re a very confusing individual,” I said to him once we made it outside the studio, where we could speak freely without being scolded. “You come across as this angry person most of the time. Granted, you do laugh and smile, which completely contradicts your badass persona. And then you go and kiss that woman’s ass when she’s asking you to leave her class. Really, Finn…who are you?”
I followed him down the sidewalk, not once questioning where we were going considering we were moving away from our cars. But then he stopped and opened a door, waiting for me to enter the establishment first. It was then that I realized he’d led me to a café.
Holding the door open with an easy smile on his face, all he said was, “The same could be said about you.”
It took me a moment to understand what he meant; I’d gotten too distracted trying to figure out where he was taking me to remember what we were even talking about. So I walked inside ahead of him to gather my thoughts enough to continue our conversation.
“You can’t say the same about me. No one has ever accused me of looking like an angry person.” I slid into the booth that he’d directed me to, and I began to wonder how often he came here. He seemed to be quite familiar with the place. “And I most certainly didn’t suck up to Tasha.”
“No, but you post pictures of yourself every day for the whole world to see, yet you won’t walk in front of a few women to ask for something.”
I groaned to myself, annoyed that he hadn’t forgotten about that.
“Care to share your irrational fear with me now?”
I opened the menu, not to pick something to eat, but to keep him from staring at me. “I already told you; it doesn’t make any sense. I’m well aware of that. So there’s not much of a point to explain it, since you wouldn’t understand anyway.”
He hooked his fingers over the top of the menu and pushed it down, making eye contact with me. “Try me.” The blatant acceptance that shone in his gaze settled my nerves and made breathing a little easier.
“I’m fully aware that people look at my photos online, but I can’t see them looking at me. In real life, I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, and it makes me uncomfortable. They can say what they want about my posts from behind their computer or phone screens, because I don’t hear or see it. But in person, I can’t ignore it.”
“What is it you think they’re judging you for?”
I shrugged and dropped my gaze to the menu, hoping he didn’t yank it away to keep me from focusing on something other than him. “Anything. Everything. The way I look, the way I walk, the way I dress.”
“But you don’t care if they do that online?” It was obvious he didn’t get it.
I met his stare and sighed. “A picture is a single snapshot. And normally, there are several taken that I get to go through before choosing the best one. Not to mention, there are filters and apps to blend and smooth any imperfections. Those don’t exist in real life. I can’t pick and choose what they see when they look at me, and I can’t wave a magic wand to tighten and lift shit like I can with an image. And no, I don’t care what’s said online because I never read the comments.”
He nodded, but rather than continue to question me, he grabbed a menu and dropped the subject. Normally, I would’ve appreciated that, but for some reason, it made me a little self-conscious this time, as if I’d turned him off by admitting my fears.
Then again, why did I care? It wasn’t like I wanted to turn him on or anything.
Thankfully, the waitress stopped at our table, saving me from my thoughts and giving us the perfect excuse to truly change the subject. Not wanting her to rush off so soon, I asked about the specials and placed my lunch order. Apparently, Finn had been here before—at least once—because he knew exactly what he wanted to eat after barely peeking at the menu.
“So, are we bonding enough? Or should I expect you to drag me to a spin class next?”
I rolled my eyes and fought against the smile that tugged at my lips. “No, this is good. You don’t have to worry about me forcing you into any more activities, especially those that involve exercising.”
His gaze fell to the table, and I wondered what I’d said to make his demeanor change so quickly. But he didn’t give me a chance to question it before he asked, “Is your sister still taking your photos this weekend for the bathing suit promo?”
“Yeah. Actually, thanks for bringing that up. I have a phone conference tomorrow morning with the designer and her team, and I was hoping you could be there to listen in and take notes. I’m horrible at remembering all the details, and I’m not much of a multitasker. I can’t figure out how to jot down the info while listening to what they’re saying and thinking of questions to ask all at the same time.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” The bewilderment in his tone matched his expression, the creases between his brows letting me know just how confused he was. “I didn’t see that on the calendar. Why didn’t you add it?”
“I’m still trying to figure all that stuff out.”
He nodded, but it didn’t seem like he’d bought my excuse. “Okay, well after the call, maybe we can go over the shared doc and calendar so you can understand it better. It’s hard to know what you have going on if you don’t communicate the details with me.”
“I just did.” I waggled my brows and smiled, hoping he’d loosen up a little.
It must’ve worked, because he offered a small grin. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to prove that I’d gotten through to him, even if only a little bit. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you using the shared tools in no time. And before you know it, you’ll be a pro. In the meantime, tell me everything I need to know. Where do I need to be and when?”
Apparently, we didn’t need to bond.
We only needed to have a conversation.
“Thank God you’re here!” I flung open my front door and left Finn to walk in by himself. “They’re going to call any minute, and I was worried you wouldn’t show up in time.”
He closed the door behind him and then caught up with me at the kitchen table. Checking his watch, he said, “It’s not even nine. You told me the call was set for nine forty-five. We have plenty of time. What are you freaking out about?”
“I got it mixed up. They’re supposed to call at nine fifteen. I just found out a few minutes ago when Gia called to make sure I had everything I needed for the conference. I don’t know how I did that. I must’ve checked that email a dozen times.” I was so angry with myself that I couldn’t stand still, let alone look at him.
It seemed I was more out of it than I thought, because I didn’t even realize how close he was until he stood in front of me with his hands on my shoulders. “Mads, calm down. It’s okay. We still have time, and I’m here now, so it’s all good. Got it?”
Finn had a way of calming me unlike any other, and I doubted he was even aware of it. The first time was outside the club when he swooped in to save me from Roger. Then a couple of days later when we’d met up to discuss what I needed from him as my assistant—seriously, I’d felt like such an idiot not knowing what I needed done. Still, he made me feel comfortable as we went through everything he could help me with. And now, in the span of a few seconds, he’d managed to wipe away the apprehension that had suffocated me for the last ten minutes.
I nodded, taking a seat at the table when he offered it.
He lowered himself into the chair next to mine but faced me. “Have you gotten the bathing suit yet? Weren’t you supposed to get it yesterday?”
“No, it hasn’t come yet.” Just saying that out loud made my heart rate spike again.
Finn must�
�ve noticed, because he covered my hand with his and gently stroked it with his thumb in soft, slow swipes. “I’m sure you’ll get it today. And if not, then it’s okay. Don’t worry, we’ll get this all squared away when they call. Just focus on me; I’ll get you through it.”
“I can’t thank you enough, Finn. I don’t even want to know what I’d do if you weren’t here.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t have to find out, isn’t it?” He patted the top of my hand and then reached for his laptop bag. But instead of pulling out his computer, he grabbed a notebook and pen.
And in an instant, my anxiety returned.
6
Finn
Rather than interject myself into Mady’s meeting, I sat next to her and took notes while listening to their conversation. If I had a question that I needed her to ask, or simply needed to tell her something without making my presence known, I wrote it down and turned the notepad so she could read it.
However, that seemed to only make matters worse.
She truly couldn’t multitask. Anytime I wrote something for her, she became flustered and visibly upset. So finally, I stopped writing my comments and questions and just voiced my thoughts as quietly as I could. Either the people on the other end of the phone couldn’t hear me, or they figured she had help and ignored it.
One thing was certain—she relaxed considerably as soon as she ended the call.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked while flipping through my notes, making sure I had everything I needed in case I had to refer back to any of them. I planned to transfer them all to the shared document I’d created for her once I got home, which would make it easier for her to access the information as well.
“Only because you were here. You knew exactly what to ask and had all the answers ready to go before they even finished their questions.” Absolute gratitude shone back at me in her eyes, which sparkled like a pool of gold as the morning sun highlighted them through the kitchen window.
As much as I appreciated seeing it—and as much as I would love to spend all day staring into her eyes—I got up and headed for the front door. Someone had knocked while she was on the phone, and I wasn’t about to get up and leave her alone to find out who it was.
“I’ve got something that should make you feel even better.” I returned to the kitchen table and set the box in front of her. “I’m willing to bet this is your bathing suit, my dear.”
Her face lit up with excitement as she grabbed the package, practically jumping out of her chair.
“Since I won’t be around tomorrow when Gia takes the photos, you should go try it on so I can at least see you in it before the rest of the world does.” I resumed my seat at the table and smiled as she squealed and ran off to her bedroom, the box clutched against her chest.
Every day with Mady brought something new—usually a new feeling toward her. I could honestly say I hadn’t expected that to happen. The first time we’d met, I’d made a snap judgment based on her looks and assumed the appeal would run skin deep.
Unfortunately, I’d assumed wrong.
One of the biggest things was her age. Most of my clients were in their mid-twenties, so I had—albeit, foolishly—expected Mady to be much of the same. But rather than be annoyed by the natural immaturity level of a twenty-five-year-old, I found myself enjoying the easy humor that seemed to come so effortlessly from her.
It also didn’t help that I had her pegged wrong from the beginning. At first glance, it was easy to assume she was the type who would strut into a room, fully aware that she held everyone’s attention. But after what she’d told me yesterday about her fear of being judged, I couldn’t help but start to see her in a completely different light. Although, to be fair, I’d already begun to see her differently before that conversation. That just happened to be the time that confirmed to me just how wrong I’d been.
Then again, I still didn’t have a clue who she was. One minute, she was a confident, beautiful woman who knew exactly what she wanted and possessed the determination to get it. And then the next, she turned into this shy girl who worried too much about what other people thought of her and seemed riddled with anxiety. And because of that, I had a hard time figuring out how to act around her.
I’d never had a problem interacting with women, and in all actuality, I didn’t have a hard time with Mady, either. While I wasn’t sure about this job at the beginning of the week, I’d really started to enjoy it over the last five days—namely the last two. So I didn’t exactly want to get fired for being too flirtatious, nor did I care to run the risk of either of us developing inappropriate feelings, which would also put my new job in jeopardy. However, the more I got to know her, the more I wanted to know her, which made keeping her at arm’s length a little tricky.
Yet nothing made it more difficult than seeing Mady Russo walk out in that tiny bikini.
“Holy shit,” I muttered beneath my breath, hoping she hadn’t heard me. I worked to close my mouth, but it refused to listen. My body became frozen in time, and my mind reeled with possibilities.
After a few seconds of staring, I finally met her gaze and noticed the sheer panic that shone back at me in the form of tears. “I can’t wear this, Finn. I can’t post pictures of me in this thing. I can’t even call it a bathing suit! It’s basically dental floss with a few bits of fabric to keep anyone who wears it from being arrested for public nudity!”
I literally had to adjust myself in my seat to keep her from seeing just how much I liked it. And once I’d gotten myself situated, I had to clear my throat so that my voice wouldn’t give me away. Damn, she looked hot.
“But you’ve posted pictures in bathing suits before?”
She gawked at me, like she couldn’t fathom my confusion. In my defense, my blood had vacated my brain and settled between my legs; otherwise, I might’ve understood her concern a lot sooner, and with a lot less explanation. But as it stood, I couldn’t think of anything beyond the way her perfect breasts filled out that top, and the way the ties over her hips enhanced her sexy hourglass shape.
I closed my eyes, scrubbed my hands over my face, and took a deep, cleansing breath before trying again. God, I needed a cold shower. “Help me understand, Mady. I’m new to this, remember? Didn’t you know what it looked like before you agreed to promote the designer?”
“I’ve worn their suits before, ones I picked out and bought for myself, but they were way more modest than this one.” She dropped her chin to look at her body and then met my stare once more. “This literally leaves nothing to the imagination. I can’t wear it. I can’t post pictures of me in this.”
Utter fear darkened her eyes, which finally managed to snap me out of the fantasies that consumed my every thought. I tugged at the longer hairs on my chin and ran through every scenario I could think of. “Give me a minute. Let me look over your contract again and see what our options are.”
Mady turned on her heel to head back to her room, most likely to change. And I took full advantage of the opportunity to take in the sight of her backside. She wasn’t kidding. That bikini didn’t hide much. If anything, it made me want to see what little it did conceal even more.
After a minute or two, my blood returned to my brain, which allowed me to focus on the contract between Mady and Beach Babes. I’d read over it once before, but that was basically to get an idea of what was expected of her so I could ensure there wouldn’t be any surprise legal issues in the future. At no point did I ever look over it with the intention of finding a way to amicably back out of it. After all, this was supposed to be her big break. Giving this up could very well leave me back on my couch, doing nothing but submitting applications and dealing with clients again.
That was quite a depressing thought.
By the time Mady made her way back to the kitchen table, I’d found what I was looking for. “Nowhere in here does it state that you have to promote them. It only goes over what’s expected of you and the terms of your compensation,
which is solely dependent on the success of your part. I’ll give them a call just to be safe, but based on the verbiage, it doesn’t sound like you’re obligated to do anything, it’s more of a request for you to post and what you’ll gain in return.”
“So you don’t think I’ll get in trouble if I back out?”
I reached across the table and grabbed her hand, giving it a light squeeze of reassurance. “No, nothing like that. I promise, Mads…I’d get it taken care of. You won’t have to post any pictures of you wearing that swimsuit.”
“Thanks, Finn. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
The way she regarded me as if I were her hero, or like I’d just saved her life, made it difficult to pull my hand away from hers, and even harder to break eye contact. Once again, this was a new side of Mady Russo I hadn’t seen before. Not the shy girl, and definitely not the confident beauty queen. In this moment, she reminded me of a terrified puppy, shivering in the corner during a thunderstorm. And as surprising as it was, all I wanted to do was scoop her up and calm her fears.
However, that would be beyond inappropriate, so instead, I packed up my things and left.
“So you still don’t know why she’s refusing to do the bathing suit deal?” Kyle stood in his kitchen, stirring something on the stove, while I sat at the breakfast bar keeping him company.
This was our Saturday night.
We’d grown up to be such badasses—Kyle, acting all domesticated, cooked dinner while we casually discussed my boss’s teeny tiny bikini and her decision not to wear it. Really, everyone should be jealous of us.
“Nope. Not a clue other than it’s too revealing.”
“Since when is that an issue? Whatever happened to that old saying, if you got it flaunt it?” He ducked down to check the pan he had in the oven and then popped back up to continue stirring the sauce on the stovetop. “I thought women her age—especially ones who look like her—gravitated to that kind of thing. The skimpier the better, am I right?”