Sam almost spat out the wine she had just sipped, her heart stopping dead in her chest.
Alexis laughed. “Not what you expected?” People usually ran a mile when she divulged information about her career. Alexis didn’t know why she’d offered Sam that piece of information; she’d never told a client about her personal life.
“N-No.” Sam shifted uncomfortably. “Not what I expected at all.”
“Well, I'm full of surprises, Sam.” Alexis winked as she took her wine glass between her lips. “Full of them.”
“Yeah.” Sam sighed, her heart hurting in her chest. “I guess you are.”
Just as Sam was beginning to think about enjoying time with this woman sitting in front of her, everything told her not to. She couldn’t. Involving herself with a woman like Alexis was a bad move in Sam’s mind, and one move she wasn’t prepared to make.
“I won't lie, I can pull off a mean fireman’s lift.”
Okay, is she flirting with me? Sam flushed. “How do you do it?”
“A fireman’s lift?” Alexis sat forward, placing her wine glass down. “Stand up and I’ll show you.”
“No, the job.” Sam held up her hand, staring intently at Alexis. “How do you put yourself in that position? Running towards fire?”
“Because I'm the kind of person who wants to help people,” Alexis said. “I know there are other ways of doing that, but since I was a kid…it’s all I wanted to do. Watching London’s Burning on repeat didn’t help. I found my mum’s old tape recordings in a box in the loft. It all went downhill from there.”
“You watched London’s Burning?”
“Not when it aired, obviously.”
“Christ, I think I used to watch it before a night out.” Sam suddenly felt ridiculously old. “Now I'm showing my age.”
“Mm, I did wonder about that.” Alexis licked the wine residue from her lips, her deep blue eyes never leaving Sam’s. “You’re what? Thirty?”
“That’s sweet.” Sam blushed. “But you're a terrible liar.”
“Thirty-one?”
“Try again.” Sam rolled her eyes. “But once I tell you, I won't mind if you choose to leave.”
“Your age makes no difference to me, Sam. It’s my job to come here and give you whatever it is that you want.” Alexis winced. Once again, she had reverted to the cold-hearted escort who didn’t care about people’s feelings. Deep down, she wanted to know everything about Sam, but she saw that flash in her eyes when she told her about her career. That unease. An unease that told her Sam would never want to be caught up in a relationship with someone who worked unsociable hours. The usual look she received.
“I’m thirty-seven,” Sam said. “Thirty-eight in a few weeks.”
“Well, life has treated you very well.”
“Thank you for coming tonight at such short notice.” Sam chose to avoid the comments Alexis was making. As much as she liked hearing it, she couldn’t become attached. It was one thing to get involved with an escort, but to get involved with a firefighter was an entirely different world she couldn’t be a part of.
“You wanted the girlfriend experience, and here I am.” Alexis held out her arms. “At your service.”
“I like your confidence.” Sam narrowed her eyes. “It’s invigorating.”
“You've no idea what the girlfriend experience means, have you?”
“Nope.”
“I thought as much.” Alexis shifted closer, settling her hand on Sam’s that rested on the back of the couch. “You wanted dinner and conversation.”
“I-I do.”
“This, what you've asked for, is not dinner and conversation.” As much as Alexis wanted to provide her client with what she’d booked, she knew Sam had no idea what it truly entailed.
“Alexis…”
“Do you want more?” Alexis asked, praying that the answer would be ‘yes’. “Without asking me, do you want more?”
“I-I can’t.” Sam pulled her hand away. “I just wanted company.”
“Okay.” Alexis backed away a little, noting a fear in Sam’s eyes.
“Your cash…it’s in the envelope on the kitchen counter.”
“This was my night off.” Alexis lifted her wine glass and relaxed back into her previous position.
“And you're here with me?” Sam’s forehead creased. “You should be at home relaxing. Not sitting here with me.”
Like the times before, Alexis found herself unable to control her thoughts…or her words. “Perhaps I want to be sitting here with you.”
***
Alexis washed her hands in the huge sink basin, her eyes focused on herself through the infinity mirror attached to the wall in front of her. She’d been at Sam’s place for near on two hours and the longer she spent with her, the less she could figure her out. While this was simply an arrangement, Alexis got the impression that Sam had no idea what she wanted. Sitting beside her, watching her and sharing her space, Alexis was also unsure of her own needs. This line of work was so far from what she did professionally, but it was a welcome break from the smoke and fire. Being alone in a beautiful apartment with a beautiful woman was worlds apart from sitting at the station with the lads. The men. As she had anticipated, Alexis was the only woman at their watch, but it didn’t concern her. Fighting fire wasn't for the weak or for those who just wanted a nine-to-five job. It required grit and determination, and she had that in bucket loads.
Why do I feel my determination lacking when I'm around Sam? Alexis questioned herself, the answers nowhere to be found. She wanted to go back out into the living space Sam was residing in and ask her out on a date. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. No, she shouldn’t. She didn’t know Sam. She didn’t know her situation. Yes, she knew she had a wife, but where was she? Working away? Had they separated? Alexis wanted to know the answers to all of the questions and thoughts running through her mind, but what right did she have? Sam was no different to any other client she chose to spend the evening with.
Except she is. She’s different in every way imaginable.
Sam didn’t look at Alexis like a piece of meat. She didn’t spend their time together wondering how long it would be before she stripped her naked. Sam…she was kind and sophisticated. She was a newness in Alexis’ life. But this wasn't real life, and this wasn't Alexis. At least, not the true her. How could she build a relationship with a woman that to most is based on secrets and lies? Affairs? Anything other than genuine attention?
Drying her hands on the small towel hanging from the rail, Alexis fixed her blouse on her shoulders and straightened herself out. She knew the evening would be coming to an end soon, so the less time she spent in the bathroom avoiding her client, the better. She’s not my client tonight. Alexis had already made the decision to decline Sam’s cash payment for her being here, but she wasn't sure how Sam would take it. While Sam likely didn’t feel anything for her, Alexis had lain awake for the entire night thinking about her. It was hard not to when Sam gazed at you from across the table, that gaze representing respect rather than lust, but Alexis had something she needed to say to her client, and she believed that tonight was the night when she should. She wanted nothing more than to continue this arrangement, but it wouldn’t work. She needed more.
Alexis gripped the door handle and pulled it open, stepping out into the small corridor. The walls were adorned by some beautiful artwork, but that wasn't Alexis’ forte. She didn’t know the first thing about paintings or what they represented, so she chose not to mention them for fear of sounding like a complete idiot if Sam questioned her opinion on them.
Barefoot, Alexis slowly entered the open space. The silence at times tonight had been deafening, but peaceful too. Sam sat with her back to the corridor entrance, her silky dark hair pulled up into a bun, her caramel highlights weaving through it perfectly. Alexis admired Sam’s neck, exposed for the first time since they’d met. She didn’t make it a habit to check out her clients,
but with Sam, she struggled. She struggled more than she would ever care to admit. Her dark eyes held a trust Alexis hadn’t expected, but they also told her to be wary. Of what, she didn’t know, but she wouldn’t press Sam. It wasn't her place to do so.
“Your bathroom is bigger than my entire flat.”
Sam jumped a little, unaware that Alexis was behind her. “Sorry, what?”
“Your bathroom…it’s huge.”
“Yes, quite ridiculous really.” Sam half-smiled. “I thought you’d snuck out for a moment.”
“On you?” Alexis arched an eyebrow. “Not likely.”
“Do you have plans tomorrow?” Sam asked, her eyes never leaving Alexis’ body as she rounded the couch and returned to her seat.
“I have a client.” Alexis offered Sam a small smile. She hated admitting to seeing other people, but it was her job, and Sam didn’t care anyway. “It’s my last booking before I have to be at the station all weekend.”
“Oh.”
Alexis sensed a disappointment in Sam’s tone which surprised her. Given half the chance, she would happily cancel her plans and take this gorgeous woman to dinner instead.
“Well, we should probably call it a night.” Sam sat forward, arching her back as she stretched. “I have to be at the office earlier tomorrow. Conference call.”
“Sounds exciting.”
“It would be, but I like my sleep and I’ll be getting less of it tonight.”
If only you were getting less sleep for other reasons. Alexis’ mind wandered.
“Tonight has been great, Sam.” Alexis slipped her heels on and lifted her bag from the floor beside her. “Enjoy your weekend, okay?”
“You’ll be careful?” A fear flashed in Sam’s eyes. One Alexis didn’t expect or understand.
“Careful?”
“At work. At the weekend…”
Oh, she’s concerned about my safety. Alexis was surprised by Sam’s worry, but understood at the same time. Sam was a woman that clearly cared and respected people.
“Always.” Alexis cocked her head, her heart bursting. “Are you okay?”
“Me? Yes.” Sam climbed to her feet and approached the kitchen counter, taking the white envelope from beside the coffee machine. “For you.”
“No, I don't want it.” Alexis held up her hand. “I told you, tonight was my night off from the agency.”
“I contacted you. You came.”
“Because I wanted to, not because I had to.” Alexis pushed the envelope back towards Sam, her hand settling on the older woman’s wrist. “Please, don't offer it to me again.”
Alexis couldn’t do this. She couldn’t take money from a woman who she didn’t see as a client. The moment she checked her out, the moment she found herself wanting to kiss Sam, she’d crossed the boundary. As she looked into those deep brown eyes, she realised she also couldn’t be here any longer. She couldn’t see Sam anymore.
“Please?”
“I had something I needed to tell you.” Alexis cleared her throat. “The afternoon you contacted me… I’d promised myself that this would be my last month as an escort.”
“O-Okay…”
“I was dwindling down my clients. Work is a little more full-on with the government cutbacks, and I don't really have the time for anything else.”
“But you accepted my request to join me for dinner.”
“Because you're gorgeous.” Alexis’ fingertips ghosted over Sam’s hand.
Sam blushed, it not going unnoticed by Alexis. “Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity to know you.” Sam’s eyes lowered. “I guess it was fun while it lasted.”
God, this woman is devastating. All it would take was a simple kiss, but Alexis couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She leaned in, her lips pressing against Sam’s cheek. “I want to know more of you, but I know you’re involved.” She stepped back. “You have a wife, and this… I can't be here anymore.”
“I-I…”
“Sam, I don't know the first thing about you. I don't know who you are, but I know that I want to kiss you…so I have to leave. I have to go and become invisible to you.”
“It was just dinner and conversation.” Sam spoke barely above a whisper. “How can you feel this way when it was just dinner and conversation?”
Alexis got the impression that Sam was asking herself that question, however ridiculous it may seem. This woman could never be attracted to Alexis, she knew that, but the idea that it was a possibility still sat firmly in her mind. Alexis decided to be bold, regardless of the fact that it was a waste of time.
“To me, it was so much more.”
Alexis stepped around Sam, heading straight for her apartment door. Without looking back, she slipped out into the corridor, holding back the emotion she could feel churning inside of her. She knew everything she had just said would only complicate things, but she wouldn’t have an affair with a married woman. Whether she was an escort or not, Sam was married…and she would be partaking in the relationship for all the wrong reasons. She was used to meeting women who wanted sex and nothing more, but if Alexis continued this, and things did go further, emotions would be involved and everyone would get hurt. Alexis. Sam. And her wife.
Seven
Sam found herself tossing and turning again. For seven nights, she’d lay awake thinking about the moment Alexis effectively cancelled their arrangement. For seven days, she wandered around the office aimlessly, her own emotions bubbling to the surface as each day passed. She hadn’t expected those words from her escort. She hadn’t expected someone so young or beautiful to even acknowledge her existence. Alexis had though, and it only complicated Sam’s life. She needed someone to talk to, but she didn’t know where to turn. Her friends were all mere acquaintances through business, and her assistant had been giving Sam a wide berth since she mentioned the fact that she’d seen her boss out in town. A week later, nothing made sense.
Lindsay continued to call her repeatedly, demanding answers and details about her original night out with Alexis, but Sam couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. Not only did she feel embarrassed for ever contacting the escort agency, she felt worse knowing her escort had kicked her to the kerb. I must really be the life and soul of the party if an escort doesn’t want to stick around. Sam climbed from her bed, tears welling in her eyes as she thought about how lonely the last week had been. She hadn’t realised how much Alexis’ company had impacted her life in those few short days but being without her was really beginning to take its toll on Sam and her everyday life.
She knew she needed to take back her life, whatever that meant, but she didn’t know where to start. Lindsay had invited her to a bar this evening but Sam wasn't sure it was a good idea. Once she’d taken her first sip of wine, she would bare all…leaving Lindsay with her head in a spin. She knew the outcome of their conversation wouldn’t make things any easier, so Sam avoided contact with her sister. In her mind, it was the best option. It was the coward’s way out, but since Lucia’s death, Sam had made it a habit to become cowardly in her personal life.
She tied her ivory silk robe around her body and moved barefoot down the corridor to her kitchen.
“Thought you’d never rise!”
“Fucking hell.” Sam placed her hand over her chest. “You really are intent on killing me!”
“Calm down.” Lindsay laughed, perched on a kitchen stool. “I made you some coffee.”
“Thank you, but you're still not in my good books.”
“Ooh, the horror.” Lindsay wiggled her eyebrows. “You’re not working today…”
“Ten points for your observation.” Sam sighed, taking a coffee cup from the counter. “Is that why you're here? Playing the concerned sister?”
“What do you mean…playing?” Lindsay asked, hurt by her sister’s nonchalance. “I am concerned.”
“You have no reason to be. I'm entitled to take a day off like everyone else.”
“Of course you are,” Lindsay agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you usually do take a day off.”
“I don't feel very well.” Sam shrugged, moving into the living room and dropping down on the couch. “You should leave; I could be contagious.”
“Hilarious.”
“Linds, please,” Sam whined. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Tonight, you and I are going out,” Lindsay stated. “Like originally planned.”
“I just told you I'm sick!”
“Wrong.” Lindsay held up her hand as she climbed down from her stool. “You lied to me, and I saw through it. There is nothing wrong with you, Sam. At least, nothing health related.”
“Don't you have somewhere else to be? Like, pissing somebody else off…”
“You never told me if you met up with the escort again...”
“Because it’s not your concern.”
“Her name was Alexis, right?” Lindsay snuggled up beside her sister on the couch. “Cheryl says she’s great.”
“Cheryl?” Sam’s heart sunk as her eyes landed on her sister. “How would Cheryl know?”
“Well, I’ll give you one little tiny guess…”
“She’s been to dinner with her.” Sam’s admission was hard to say, her voice wavering. “Should have known.”
“Oh, dinner was first on the agenda.” Lindsay winked. “I think you know how their night ended.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Sam’s eyes closed, her head resting back. “I don't need to know the personal lives of my staff.”
Sam aimed to be as blasé as she possibly could, but her voice was determined to betray her. If Lindsay continued to talk, tears would fall. It was inevitable.
“I just wanted you to know that Cheryl thought she was great.”
“Yeah, well Cheryl is welcome to her.” Sam climbed to her feet, approaching the window. “We haven’t had contact in the last week.”
“Why?”
“Because, the twenty-five-year-old escort doesn’t want me around anymore.”
“Fucking hell, Sam.” Lindsay scoffed. “How the hell did you manage to push the escort away? It’s her job, for the love of God.”
The Arrangement Page 7