“I have to work tonight.”
“That’s okay.” Janet smiled. “I’ll give you enough time to go home and prepare for work.”
“No, I don’t think you understand.” Luciana sighed. “The agency… I left.”
“I’m aware of that. I looked you up online. No sign.” Janet sipped her coffee. “So, who are you with now? An agency I know of?”
“No, I don’t escort anymore.”
“Since when?” Janet looked at Luciana, shocked.
This woman may have once been a big part of Luciana’s life, but she didn’t even know her real name. Sam…she was different. Luciana wanted to share everything with her. Janet was too controlling. Too demanding. Too self-centred. Luciana recognised that some months into their arrangement, and to this day, had never divulged anything personal. Janet only knew about her profession because she saw her leaving the station one night. Had that never happened, Janet would be none the wiser.
“A few days ago…”
“Because?”
“I’m swamped at the station,” Luciana said. “My career is more important.”
Don’t mention, Sam. She will only fuck it up for you.
“I don’t know why you need that job. The agency pays much better.”
“It’s my life. My profession.”
“Still, you could make double if you took on more clients.”
Luciana had heard this all before. At one time, Janet had begged her to leave the brigade, assuring her that she would send clients her way. It wasn’t the life Luciana saw in her future though. Escorting was simply a way of relaxing once her shifts for the week had ended. It offered her the chance to meet women without any strings. Not many would willingly fall in love with a firefighter, insisting that the demands of the job were too much for them, so she believed escorting on the side was ideal for her. Now, it was no longer required. She’d found the woman she wanted her attention on, and Janet wouldn’t stand in the way of that.
“Call in sick,” Janet stated. “We’ll spend the night together. Catch up.”
“I can't call in sick.” Luciana had never taken a sick day unless absolutely necessary, and she wasn’t about to do that now. “I have commitments.”
“Alexis,” Janet said, her tone warning. “We’ve been through this before.” Janet slid her hand across the table, gripping Luciana’s. “Don’t fuck about with me. I contacted you because I wanted you. You know I’ll get my way.”
“I’m not doing this.” Luciana pulled her hand away as the bell above the door jingled. “I’ll have lunch with you, catch up, but then I have to leave.”
“Bullshit!” Janet gritted her teeth, that familiar anxiety settling in the pit of Luciana’s stomach. Please, don’t ruin this for me. “Call the station.”
“I can't.” Luciana stood firm. “I have duties. A team who rely on me. I haven’t heard from you in what? Four months! You can't just demand my attention. It doesn’t work like that!”
“I know I've neglected you, baby.” Janet shifted in her seat, moving closer to Luciana. “I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” She leaned in, pressing her lips against Luciana’s ear.
“You don’t have to do that.” Luciana shook her head, a shiver rolling down her spine. “I agreed to meet you because I had some things I needed to say to you.”
“What things?”
“This. Us. Whatever the hell this is…it stops. Now.”
“No.”
“Janet, I barely see you. What we had those years ago, it was nice. It was fun. I'm a different person now.” Luciana chose not to speak about the months they spent together before Janet stopped calling. She abhorred that behaviour. The control and demand from the other woman.
“I promise to keep in touch more often. Work has been full-on. I’m sorry.”
“Janet?”
Luciana’s heart stopped, her mouth dry. She recognised that voice. A voice that sounded so beautiful just this morning.
“Sam!” Janet stood, pulling Sam into an embrace. “Good to see you.”
“It’s been what? A year?”
Luciana glanced up to find Sam’s jaw clenched, a look of confusion in her eyes.
“I know I promised to stay in touch. I've been out of the country for months. Before that, I had other projects on.”
“Don’t worry.” Sam waved off the apology, shifting uncomfortably in her spot. She didn’t need this right now. Seeing Luciana with another woman… it hurt more than she thought it would. I'm sure it means nothing. Sam silently prayed.
“I’m sorry, forgive my rudeness.” Janet glanced down at Luciana. “This is Alexis, my girlfriend.”
“N-Nice to meet you.” A wave of devastation coursed through Sam momentarily. A devastation she knew was mirrored in her eyes. “Sam Philips.” So, this was another client. Sam couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Just this morning, Luciana had been offended when she stopped things from going further, but in this moment, Sam was glad she had.
“I, uh…” Luciana felt bile rising in her throat. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
“Honey.” Janet laughed, squeezing Luciana’s shoulder a little tighter than she would like. “This is Sam. I work with her on the interior design of her developments. Say hello and don’t be so rude.”
“Yeah, great. H-Hi.” Luciana wanted the floor to swallow her up, but this was happening now. Sam’s eyes held an element of hate…but more hurt than anything else. “I’m sure your work is great.”
“Mm, it is.” Sam narrowed her eyes, choosing to be cold rather than upset. She wouldn’t give Luciana or Janet Mason the satisfaction of seeing her hurt. Not today. Not ever. “Anyway, I should go. I was just collecting lunch.”
“Drinks soon?” Janet offered Sam a sad smile. “I should really meet with you more often.”
“I have so much on at the minute, but yes. Drinks soon.” Sam threw a wave over her shoulder as she walked away. She had no intention of meeting with one of her old contacts. Not if she was dating Luciana. Sam couldn’t do that. She couldn’t watch what she thought was hers, in another woman’s arms. “Bye.”
Sinking back down into her seat, Luciana brushed a tear from her jawline. “Why the hell did you introduce me as your girlfriend?”
“Keeping up appearances.” She patted Luciana’s hand. “Sam lost her wife. Terrible story. She’s also competition occasionally, so you know? A little jealousy never hurt anyone…” Janet smirked as she relaxed. “I saw how she looked at you. She was most definitely jealous.”
“You’re a bitch.” Luciana’s chair screeched back, almost toppling over. “Don’t contact me again. Just…fuck off!”
Luciana rushed out of the coffee shop, desperately seeking any signs of Sam.
Nothing. She’d gone.
She pulled her phone out and frantically tapped the screen.
L: That wasn’t what it looked like.
S: Looked self-explanatory to me. Delete my number. I’m too old for games.
L: Babe, please?
S: Don’t. Don’t you dare!
L: She’s nothing to me. She never was.
S: Be safe at work. Goodbye, Alexis!
Luciana leaned back against the sandstone wall behind her, sinking down to the floor. How could something feel so good, so perfect…yet completely shitted up at the same time? This. This was why she didn’t get involved with clients. Because of Janet. That woman, at one time, was close to ruining her. Her career. Her life. When she thought that Janet distancing herself had worked out for her, Luciana seemed to now be in for the shock of her life.
***
Sam sat at her desk, tapping her pen against a stack of papers incessantly. Nothing made sense. Just this morning, Luciana had told her how much she wanted to move forward with whatever they were getting involved in. But now, now she was sitting alone, feeling void deep inside. All that time when she spent her hours thinking about Luciana, she was sleeping wi
th another woman. In a relationship with another woman. It hurt, but Sam would move forward. After all, Lucia was the only one for her. She tried to change her own mind, and she tried to move forward, but her assumptions had been correct all along. Nobody could fill the place of her wife. In all honesty, Sam was beginning to wonder why she ever bothered.
Luciana really was something else. Sam bit back a sob, the unshed tears in her eyes blurring her vision. She couldn’t do this, not at work. She couldn’t cry at her desk, she needed to be alone for that.
“Sam?” Cheryl knocked on her boss’ open door. “Someone is here to see you.”
“Who?”
“The same person you had here last week.” Cheryl shifted uncomfortably. “A-Alexis.”
“I’m busy.” Sam cleared her throat. “Tell her to make an appointment.”
“Right, yeah.” Cheryl nodded. “Sorry to bother you.”
“You’re my assistant.” Sam smiled genuinely. “And I know I've been a bit hit and miss lately, but never apologise for interrupting me.”
“Did you want to talk about it?” Cheryl lowered her voice, wanting to be a friend to her boss. “Something is going on…”
“No, I’ll be fine.” Sam glanced up at her assistant. “Tell Alexis I'm busy.”
“Okay.” Cheryl’s shoulders slumped. “She’s nice, you know…”
“She’s also involved.” Sam laughed. “Anything comes in for me, let me know. Other than that, this conversation is over.”
Sam sat back in her seat as Cheryl disappeared, releasing a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. Yes, Luciana did appear to be nice, honest and genuine, but Sam was quickly learning that she couldn’t just trust anyone. Life wasn’t that simple, whether she perceived it to be or not.
Sam’s phone pinged on her desk.
L: I’m not leaving until you speak to me.
S: Then you will be waiting a long time.
L: Fine by me. I’ll wait in reception.
S: Didn’t I tell you to delete my number? Do it or I’ll block yours myself.
L: At least come out and talk to me before you do that…
S: I’m a businesswoman who has enough going on. I don’t need someone like you upending everything for me. Please, leave my building.
L: Someone like me?
Sam pinched the bridge of her nose as she clenched her jaw.
S: Someone young who doesn’t know what they want in life.
She regretted the message as soon as it popped up as delivered but she couldn’t take it back. It was out there and whether Luciana was hurt or not, Sam was angry with her.
L: You meant more to me than what you believe, Sam. I’m sorry I'm too young and indecisive for you, but really… I think you're the one who needs to take a look at yourself.
Sam set her phone to silent and placed it back down on the desk. She wouldn’t allow someone to come into her business and create a mess. The last thing she needed was to be known as the woman who was having an affair with Janet Mason’s girlfriend. As much as she wished Luciana would choose her over Janet, Sam was done talking to her. She was done entertaining her. Luciana wasn’t hers.
***
Sam found herself lying on the couch, a glass of wine sitting untouched on the coffee table in front of her. She’d spent the day working harder than she had in a long time, and now she felt alone again. I have to stop this. She was just a thing. IT was just a thing. Her bottom lip trembled as she thought back to this morning when Luciana pranced around her kitchen in very little. How she kissed her neck while she made coffee. She may have chosen to stop things there, but that moment was breathtaking for Sam. Everything she hadn’t known she needed. How was it that she found herself lying here like this? How was it that Luciana was already taken?
If someone had told her some two weeks ago that she would meet an escort who meant more to her than anyone had since her wife, Sam would have laughed. She would have told them they were out of their mind. Though she felt awful for saying what she did earlier about Luciana and her age, she couldn’t get the thought out of her head that she’d been well and truly played. Did Luciana want a fling with a successful businesswoman? Had she seen the vulnerability in Sam…sinking her teeth into it while she had the chance? Sam didn’t believe that was the woman she knew, but Janet Mason had referred to Luciana as her girlfriend, so whatever she believed she knew no longer mattered. She also called her Alexis. Sam knew that it was just an escort/client arrangement, but it didn’t matter. She couldn’t be with someone who still had a job sleeping with women. It may work for some, but not for Sam. She wanted Luciana to herself. Just hers.
She sat up, swinging her legs over the couch, and took her phone from the coffee table. I’ll call Lindsay. She’ll tell me what to do. Sam didn’t particularly want to vent to her sister, but she was going out of her mind worrying about the day she’d just had. Why, she didn’t know, but Sam didn’t know why her mind worked how it did at times.
Startled when a knock on the door reverberated through her apartment, Sam furrowed her brow and smiled. Lindsay always did have some kind of sixth sense when she needed help, and it seemed now, once again, her sister was about to come through for her. She sighed as she stood up, crossing the short distance to the front door.
She opened it and her heart plummeted.
“What do you want?” Sam spat. “And how the hell did you get into my building?”
“T-The door was open,” Luciana cried out. “The door, it was open.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be.” Sam folded her arms across her chest. “I have nothing to say to you. Leave.” Sam attempted to close the door, but Luciana shoved her foot in the gap. “Don’t!”
“Please, I need to speak to you,” Luciana begged, tears falling freely down her face. “This. It’s not what you think.”
“Please don’t insult me, Luciana.” Sam shook her head. “And don’t come here with tears, expecting me to give you a second of my time.”
“When I kissed you…” Luciana’s dull blue eyes found Sam’s. “…when I kissed you, you can't say you didn’t feel it too.”
“It doesn’t matter what I felt.” Sam laughed. “Everything that happened between us was a lie.”
“No. No, it wasn’t.” Luciana wrapped her arms around her body, her shoulders shaking. “Nothing I've had with you was a lie. Why don’t you believe that?”
“Because I watched you share a table with Janet Mason today.” Sam tilted her head. “I watched you cosy up to a woman I've worked with for a long time…after you’d spent the morning with me.”
“S-She, I—”
“I’m not interested in you and her.” Sam held up a hand, scoffing. “I’m really not.”
“Five minutes. That’s all I want.” Luciana stepped closer to Sam. “Please, Sam.”
“You should go.” She glanced at the clock in the kitchen. “You have a shift in an hour.”
“I called in sick,” Luciana said. “I’ve never let the brigade down. Never. But for you, I had to.”
“Then I'm sorry, but you wasted your time.” Sam’s shoulders slumped. “You don’t need to be here, you don’t need to worry about me. I'm just happy I found it out before I was in too deep.”
“We had a thing…it started two years ago.” Luciana’s eyes closed. “It was stop-start, but it was always her way.”
“Luciana…”
“Please, if you're going to cut me from your life, at least hear me out first.”
Sam looked at the woman in front of her, broken and hurting. Opening the door wider, she motioned for Luciana to come inside and closed the door.
“I woke up to a message from her this morning. She wanted to meet me. I hadn’t seen her in a long time.”
“Just…” Sam sighed, unable to form any words. “Go on.”
“She was one of my first clients when I joined the agency. She seemed really nice. Sweet. We had dinner a lot. Befor
e I knew it, I was staying over at her place. Waking at her place most mornings. There was always a wad of cash left for me on the bedside table, but I felt like there was something more between us.”
“Clearly, since she introduced you as her girlfriend.”
“That shouldn’t have happened.” Luciana shook her head. “Before today, I hadn’t heard from her in at least four months. She disappeared. I was thankful for that.”
“Mm.”
“I was.” Luciana looked pointedly at Sam. “I know you have no reason to believe a word I say, and I don’t really give a crap about Janet while I'm here with you, but I mean it, Sam. You…it’s you, okay?”
“It’s not me.” Sam offered a sympathetic smile. “I was just a thing too, wasn’t I?”
“You? A thing?” Luciana arched a brow. “Not in a million years.”
Luciana approached Sam, holding out her hand.
“She tries to control me. Dominate me. I told her today that I'd left the agency and she told me to cancel my shift.” Luciana held back tears. “She always threatened to expose me to the fire service, and I couldn’t risk it, so I appeased her.” Luciana placed her hand against the side of Sam’s face. “But after meeting you, being here with you, I was done with caring.”
“She threatened you?” Sam couldn’t believe she was listening to this. She didn’t fully believe Luciana, but Janet Mason was a force. A force she’d encountered on more than one occasion. “Why?”
“Because she didn’t want to let me go.”
I can see why… Sam studied Luciana’s face, genuine hurt radiated from her tired eyes.
Sam remained silent, willing to hear Luciana out.
“Things became too much. I avoided her calls. Turned down her requests.”
“And then?”
“She disappeared.”
“But now she’s back?” Sam asked. “Here. For you?”
“I don’t believe she is. I think she’s just chancing her luck.”
“I know Janet and I know she doesn’t chance anything she doesn’t want.” Sam sighed, her eyes closing as Luciana caressed her face. “Why did she call you her girlfriend?”
The Arrangement Page 14