“We?”
“I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or the next day.” Sam reached behind her neck and flicked the clasp holding her sapphire necklace in place. The necklace she rarely removed in the ten years she’d owned it. “But I know that I want to build something with you.” She took a long velvet box from her bedside table and secured the necklace to the hooks, holding it in place. “It may all go wrong, but it may not.”
“It won’t.”
“Neither of us can be sure of that.” Sam cocked her head and smiled.
“I can.” Luciana folded her arms across her chest.
“While I love your enthusiasm, we can't say that.” Sam closed the box in her hand. “One thing I've learned since I met you is that I have to take a chance. I have to open up to the potential life I could have if I stop closing myself off. I don’t want to live alone. I don’t want to wake up every morning and go through my usual boring work routine.”
“What do you want?” Luciana swallowed hard.
“A future. A life. One that doesn’t revolve around this apartment or every hour God sends at the office.”
“And where do I stand in all of that?” Luciana’s throat dried.
“At the front. Right at the front of all of it.” Sam rounded the bed and set the velvet box down on top of her clothes. “You’ve shown me nothing but complete respect from the moment I met you.” Taking Luciana’s hands, she stepped closer. “I knew there was something about you the moment I met you. I knew I wanted you before you’d even opened your mouth to speak.”
“You have a very good poker face.”
“I didn’t get to where I am without one, baby.” Sam leaned in, smiling into a kiss. “Like you, I don’t care about the opinions of others, their judgement. What I care about is our happiness. I want that with you, Luciana. Happiness.”
Luciana opened her mouth to speak but fell short of any words.
“And I know I’ll lie awake worrying about you at work, that’s natural, but I also know you’re perfectly safe. At least, it’s what I tell myself whenever you leave for a shift.”
“You know I’ll come home to you.” Luciana’s thumb traced Sam’s bottom lip. “You think I’d leave you?”
“I know you wouldn’t.” Sam chose to block out her wife’s death. She’d spent two years playing it over in her mind, and now it was time to put those thoughts to bed. Lucia was gone, but Luciana…she was very much here. Sam couldn’t change her past, but she could guide her future. “I worry that this is moving too quickly, but I'm not sure I care anymore.”
“Everything happens for a reason…”
“I'm a firm believer in that.” Sam nodded in agreement. “It’s been what? A month…”
“The most beautiful month of my life,” Luciana whispered. “Stop fighting it, Sam. If this is what you want, if it feels good, let it.”
“I am.”
“Fuck the timescales and what society believes.” Luciana took a fistful of Sam’s hair and gently tilted her head back. “Because I know exactly how I feel about you. Nobody can take that away from me or tell me it’s wrong.”
“No.” Sam’s eyes closed. “No, they can't.”
“And if I want to spend my time, my days, falling harder for you…then I will do that.” Their lips met fervently. Luciana needed this woman to know exactly how she felt, what she dreamt of. A moan fell from Sam’s mouth as their lips parted, and when her eyes opened, Luciana noted the tears welling. “Don’t cry, beautiful.”
“For once, they’re happy tears.”
Luciana held Sam close, their bodies slowly swaying. “I wasn’t looking to settle down with anyone when you came along,” she said. “I was content with fighting fire and meeting beautiful women.”
“What changed?”
“Everything.” Luciana pressed a kiss to Sam’s hair. “When I walked into that tapas bar and saw you, God… I can't explain it.”
“Try…” Sam said. “For me, try.”
“You know when you get those intense butterflies in the pit of your stomach? I felt them all over my body.” Sam tilted her head and watched the smile form on Luciana’s mouth. “I watched your every move all night. Just the little things. How you held your wine glass. How you people watched. How sad you were…”
“Keep talking.” Sam guided them to the bed and lay down, pulling Luciana down beside her. She curled her body around her girlfriend, nuzzling her face in the crook of her neck. “Please, keep talking.”
“When you’d finished that night…when it was time to leave, I'd never felt so disappointed,” Luciana said. “I wanted more time with you. To know you. To listen to your voice. God, I just didn’t want the night to end.”
“But I booked you again. The next night.”
“You also ran out on me not even an hour into it…”
“The night I’d fought with Lindsay.” Sam nodded. “Remind me to call her in the morning before we leave.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. I want her to arrange coming to visit.”
“That’ll be nice.”
“With my parents.”
“O-Oh.” Luciana’s stomach somersaulted. “W-When I'm working?”
“No, baby. Not when you're working.” Sam’s hand slid beneath Luciana’s tank top. “I want you to meet them all.”
“Phew.”
“Nervous?” Sam sat up on her elbow smirking. “I don’t think I've ever seen you nervous.”
“I’m about to meet the woman of my dreams parents.”
“I’m the woman of your dreams?” Sam laughed. “Seriously?”
“Damn right you are.” Sam suddenly found herself on her back, with Luciana straddling her hips. “We met when we were supposed to. And everything that came after it…it was meant to happen.”
“I beg to differ,” Sam said. “Janet. She didn’t need to happen.”
“Janet was around long before you.” Luciana waved off Sam’s comment. “She is the least of my concerns.”
“Good.” Fisting her hand in Luciana’s tank top, Sam pulled her girlfriend down against her. “How about we go back to you telling me all about how amazing I am?”
“Gladly,” Luciana growled, dipping her head and kissing her way up Sam’s stomach. “But first, there is something I need to do.”
“What’s that?” Sam squealed as her girlfriend nipped at the skin below her breast.
“Touch you.” Sam arched up into Luciana’s touch. “Taste you.” She whimpered as lips enveloped her nipple. “Make you come.”
“Oh, God.” Sam buried her head into the pillow.
“Sound good to you?” Luciana husked, lost in everything that Sam was.
“Do it!”
***
The rain outside the window did nothing to ruin Luciana’s mood. If anything, it only encouraged her to snuggle up with Sam and wish the hours away. After spending the best part of last night tangled up in one another, they’d somehow managed to pack what they needed for their weekend break at Sam’s other place. Now, as her girlfriend finished showering, Luciana had the opportunity to think about the things Sam said to her last night. She was shocked when the suggestion of going to Sam’s original home came into the conversation, but she felt thankful too. Thankful that her girlfriend would want to take her to a home that meant so much to her, and thankful that Sam thought so much of their relationship. Luciana would admit to feeling, at times, unsure about their future, but Sam had put her mind to rest last night during their pre-sex conversation. It felt good, having Sam lay in her arms and discussing life. It was a positive step hearing Sam talk about what she wanted in the future. Wants that included Luciana. She fully understood though. If the tables were turned, Luciana would feel sceptical about a younger woman wanting a relationship with her. It wasn’t necessarily odd these days, but it still didn’t happen as often as it should.
Luciana, in this moment, had never fel
t more certain about the outcome of her relationship. Of course it would be hard at times. Of course people would have comments to make and opinions they felt mattered, but above all that… Luciana just wanted a happy life with Sam. What that life included exactly, neither of them knew, but as each day began, she felt a little more of Sam’s insecurity slip away. With every touch, she felt Sam relax into this exactly how she knew she should. Today would be interesting for them both, but Luciana was fully prepared. Whether she had to take a step back and allow Sam to process being in her old home, or whether Sam chose to take her mind off it in other ways, Luciana was ready and willing to be whatever her girlfriend needed. A shoulder. A lover. A friend. So long as Sam continued to talk about it, they couldn’t go wrong.
“Okay, I think I have everything we need.”
“Great.” Luciana turned in the slouch chair to find Sam dressed comfortably. Jeans and pumps were a change to her usual attire, but Luciana was definitely feeling it. “Looking beautiful, as ever.”
“Stop.” Sam blushed, shaking her head. “Another coffee before we head off?”
“Perfect.”
Luciana watched Sam move around the kitchen, her skinny jeans moulding to her slender body. While Sam may be significantly older than her, Luciana was in awe of how in shape she was. It didn’t matter to her either way, but damn…her girlfriend looked like a masterpiece this morning.
“For you.” Sam handed a coffee over. “Can I join you there or is that now your seat?”
“Depends.” Luciana narrowed her eyes. “In order to sit in this seat, a kiss from a beautiful woman is required.”
“Well then, I guess I should take the couch.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “Enjoy.”
“Hey!” Luciana suddenly gripped her wrist, careful of the coffee in her other hand. “In my lap, NOW!”
“Yes, sweetheart.” Sam smiled sarcastically as she carefully climbed into her girlfriend’s lap. “Are you looking forward to today?”
“Honestly, yes.”
“Me too.”
“You know, if at any point it becomes too much for you…just say.”
“Planning to take my mind off it?” Sam’s eyebrow rose, her flirtatious nature beginning to come through more as the days passed. “Anything in particular you can think of?”
“I need to see what I have to work with first.” Luciana held up a hand, sipping her coffee. “You know, the layout and furniture.”
“Mm.” Sam’s eyes crinkled at the corners as her smile beamed. “I’ll leave that to you.”
Though it would be a sad day for her girlfriend, Luciana didn’t want to dwell on that fact too much. If she could keep Sam’s mind occupied before they arrived, she was less likely to back out of their visit as they approached the house. “You really have a fire pit?”
“I do.”
“Amazing.”
“Really?” Sam scoffed. “It’s just a pit.”
“Which makes fire.” Luciana wiggled her eyebrows. “You know I love me some fire.”
“I wish you wouldn’t joke like that.” Sam swatted her girlfriend’s shoulder. “It’s not funny.”
“Sorry, babe.”
“Don’t be. I'm joking.” A light knock on the door pulled Sam from her conversation, her brow furrowed when she looked at the clock. “Who the hell is that?”
“Um…” Luciana pressed her index finger to her temple and closed her eyes. “Give me a moment.”
Sam stared.
“Nope. Can't see through the door.”
“You’re a real joker this morning, aren’t you?” Sam rolled her eyes playfully. “Maybe if we’re quiet, they’ll go away.”
“Maybe if you kiss me, I won't care who it is.” Luciana gripped Sam’s jaw gently and brought her into a kiss. “Mm, perfect.”
Before they had time to pull apart completely, the sound of a key in the lock sent Sam’s heart rate through the roof. “Um…” The door opened, and in walked her mother. “Mum?”
“Sam, good morning.” Susan’s eyes landed on Sam before switching to Luciana. “And you are?”
“Oh, uh…” Luciana set her coffee cup down and lifted Sam out of her lap. “Mrs…”
“Priestly,” Susan said, her eyes landing on her daughter. “What’s going on, Sam?”
“Pretty self-explanatory, Mum.” Sam laughed. “This is Luciana. My girlfriend. Coffee?”
“Why am I only just hearing about this?” Susan’s eyes darted between them both. “How long has this been going on?”
“Babe, did you want me to go and busy myself?” Luciana lowered her voice as Sam approached her. “I don’t mind.”
“Oh, no. You're staying here.” Sam gripped her hand. “Mum, Luciana. Luciana, my mum, Susan.”
“Lovely to meet you.” Luciana stepped forward and held out her hand. “Wonderful daughter.” She threw her thumb over her shoulder, her nerves settling in too quickly for her liking. “Can we get you some coffee?”
“We?” Susan’s eyebrows rose as she dismissed the hand being offered to her. “We, Sam?”
“Yes, we.” Sam furrowed her brow. “What the hell is wrong with you, Mum?”
“Can I speak to you for a moment?” Susan disappeared into Sam’s bedroom. “Sam? Now!”
“Mum, that was really rude.” Sam closed her bedroom door. “Why are you behaving like this?”
“This is why you've been avoiding me?” Susan scoffed. “Because you have a child in your home?”
“Excuse me?”
“She must be what? Eighteen?”
“Twenty-five, actually.” Sam crossed her arms, her anger rising. “And how dare you! I’m not sure what the hell is going on, but how dare you come here and accuse me of such a thing!”
“She’s virtually a child compared to you!”
“Get out!” Sam swung the door open. “I’m not listening to this. You wonder why I don’t call. Why I don’t visit. This is the reason.”
“Sam, love.” Susan sighed. “Just give me a moment.”
“No, I'm not standing here listening to you bash my relationship.” Sam threw her hands up. “I can't win with you. One minute you tell me I'm lonely, the next you accuse me of being a predator.”
“Don’t you think she’s a little young for you, love?” Susan smiled softly. “I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but we both know why she’s here, don’t we?”
“I know why she’s here, yes. I’m not sure you even know what day it is.”
“Close the door, Samantha.”
“This is ridiculous.” Sam slammed the door shut, startling her mum. “There is nothing you can say to me which will forgive what you’ve just said.”
“Lindsay is worried about you.”
“Lindsay?” Sam deadpanned.
“She came to me last night. Worried she hadn’t seen you in over two weeks. You don’t answer her calls. You arrange to meet her and don’t show. What does this woman have on you, Samantha?”
“What woman?” Sam asked, confused. It was one thing for her mum to react how she did, but to know this was Lindsay’s doing…it hurt.
“The woman in your living room!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sam burst into a fit of laughter. “She doesn’t have anything on me.”
“Then you will ask her to leave and come home with me.”
“And you really have lost your mind. I’m thirty-seven, Mum. You don’t really have the option of telling me what to do. Back off!”
“If my daughter is being hurt, emotionally or physically, I have every right!”
Sam froze. Did her mum and sister honestly believe Luciana was here, hurting her? Surely not. Lindsay knew Luciana. Lindsay encouraged this to happen. Sam didn’t understand how it had come to this, but she wanted answers from her sister, and she wanted them now.
“Where is she? At home?”
“She’s downstairs,” Susan said. “The poor girl is terrified to come
up here.”
She’s doing drugs again. She has to be.
“Go and get her,” Sam demanded. “I want her here now!”
“No, love. Ask your friend to leave and we will all discuss this like a family. Calmly.”
“Because you came in here calmly before, didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Samantha.” Her mum approached her. “But I won’t watch someone hurt you. I can’t. Lucia would never forgive me.”
“Nobody is hurting me and in case you forgot, Lucia is dead.” Sam dropped down onto the edge of her bed, her head falling to her hands. “I don’t believe this. I really don’t.”
“I know, love. Some people only want one thing, though.” Sam’s eyes found her mum’s. As she studied them, she realised her mum really did believe that something was wrong here. In her home. With the woman she was falling in love with. “Should I ask her to leave myself?”
“No, Mum.” Sam smiled weakly. “No, I don’t want you to do anything.”
Sam stood up and calmed herself. There was no use being angry with anyone. Lindsay had some explaining to do, but she knew they were only worried about her. Completely unnecessary, and she would make sure they knew that, but she loved her family for who they were. Most of the time. Rather than arguing with her mother, Sam chose to remain silent. As she left her bedroom, her heart settled knowing Luciana would be waiting for her. Also probably worried, but still waiting for her.
When Sam reached the open space, she sighed. Luciana was nowhere to be seen, or her bag which had sat by the door since last night. Great. She’s gone. Sam turned around to find her mum behind her, a stone look on her face.
“I think you should leave, Mum.” As she ran her fingers through her hair, Sam bit back a sob. “I have things to do.”
“Where is your friend?”
“She wasn’t my friend.” Sam lowered her eyes. “She was my girlfriend.”
“Well, whatever she was…she’s not here.”
“And I have you to thank for that.” Sam moved into the kitchen and made a fresh coffee for herself. “Tell Lindsay I’m fine. It was nice seeing you. Bye, Mum.”
“Samantha...”
The Arrangement Page 21