“I was going to sell it.”
“What?” Luciana’s head shot around. “This place?”
“At one time, yes.” Sam offered a small smile. “Foolish I know, but I saw sense before it was too late.”
“Things were really bad for you, weren’t they?”
“I'm not sure I've ever felt so broken.” Sam propped her head in her hand. “I didn’t know what to do each morning when I woke up. I'd sit there at the island with breakfast in front of me, and I'd just stare at it.”
“I can't imagine what you went through.”
“Then I got angry.” Sam scoffed. “At Lucia. At myself. Basically, at anyone who dared to even look at me.”
“Anger is natural, babe.”
“How natural?” Sam arched an eyebrow. “We once had an old wooden canoe in that lake. It was more just for decoration but worked perfectly fine.” Sam pointed her wine glass towards the still water. “I set fire to it and now it’s at the bottom.”
“Y-You set fire to it?” Luciana’s eyes widened. “You're not serious.”
“Doused it in petrol and lit the fucker.” Sam drained her wine glass. “I was sick to death of looking at it.”
“You could’ve just got rid of it.”
“I did.” Sam smiled. “With fire.”
“Okay, remind me never to get on the wrong side of you.” Luciana smirked.
“You’re the one who has kept me sane,” Sam said. She may not have been going through a bad time like she once was, but Luciana had really shown her what she was missing. Without knowing it, either of them, Sam’s mindset had dramatically improved.
“I wish I could have been there for you.” Luciana finished her wine and climbed from the seat, tucking the blanket around Sam. “Just as a friend.”
“I was a monster.”
“Still, the thought of you being here alone and hurting, I don’t like it.”
“I survived, baby.” Sam curled her finger, beckoning Luciana to come closer. “I made it and I'm so glad that I did.”
“Me too.” Their lips met softly, a slow, building passion between them. “This is just the beginning and the thought of not having you in my life terrifies me.”
“I’m not going anywhere if you're not,” Sam whispered against soft lips. “I’m enjoying this too much to even think about walking away.”
“Don’t ever walk away.” Luciana’s thumb brushed Sam’s cheek. “I'm getting more wine and then we’re sitting out here until the birds are singing.”
“I thought you weren’t a wine on the terrace kinda person?” Sam quirked an eyebrow.
“Seems you just bring it out of me.” Luciana leaned down behind Sam, kissing her head. “Don’t move.”
Sam sighed, content with her evening so far. “Don’t plan to.”
***
Sam’s eyes bored into the flames dancing in the fire pit, warming her as the air around them cooled. Time had passed by quicker than she would have liked, but their evening showed no signs of ending just yet. Luciana lay beside her on the plush outdoor swing bed, her eyes focused on the stars above them. This silence was just what they both needed given the busy schedule they’d faced in the last month. Sam’s only regret tonight was that she hadn’t brought her girlfriend here sooner. When Janet was around, this could have been the ideal place to recuperate. To forget the world around them existed. To focus fully on one another.
As the night wore on, Sam found herself thinking less about her past here, only good memories forming as Luciana lay in a pair of shorts and a baggy hoodie. Comfort. Contentment. An element of love. That’s exactly what Sam felt in her old home. Her idea of returning here and falling apart had all but faded, the woman beside her the reason for that. Sam didn’t need to dwell on what was. Instead, she chose to focus on what she could control. Her life now. The sense of love she felt whenever Luciana’s arms enveloped her, holding her securely. Nothing and nobody could take that feeling away from her, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be the one to ruin what was blossoming. She’d thought about their relationship running away with itself too quickly, but like Luciana, she truly didn’t care. Whatever happened, however it happened, Sam was ready to take the full force of it head-on. Why hold back when everything in her life felt ideal? Beautiful. Something special.
Her hand trailed Luciana’s stomach beneath her hoodie. “I could lie with you like this forever.”
“Me too, babe.” Luciana turned her head, capturing Sam’s lips. “We should just quit our jobs and stay here.”
“Mm, that sounds ideal.” Sam held Luciana closer. “But we still have the small matter of introductions.”
“Introductions?”
“Well, you've already met my mother.” Sam rolled her eyes. “But what about yours?”
“Oh, they’re easy.”
“Have you told them about me?”
“Maybe.” Luciana turned on her side, taking in Sam’s features as the fire flickered and illuminated her deep, dark eyes. “Would you be bothered if I had?”
“Not at all.”
“I may have mentioned it to my mum when I went home a couple of weeks ago.”
“And what exactly did you mention?” Sam asked, her eyes narrowed. “Fill me in.”
“I just told her I was dating.” Luciana tucked Sam’s hair behind her ear. “A gorgeous woman.”
“Who is a lot older than you?”
“Well, I didn’t mention that part.” Luciana laughed. “You know, since it’s irrelevant.”
“Mm, tell that to my mother.” Sam scoffed. “Sorry she was so off with you this morning. I didn’t expect her to react like that at all.”
“She’s your mum. She’s bound to be worried about you.”
“That doesn’t matter. She was rude to you.” Sam lowered her eyes. “She’ll come around, I know she will.”
“She should.” Luciana nodded, not overly concerned about Sam’s parents. “Because she’s pretty much stuck with me.”
“Is that so?” Sam’s eyes darkened, her fingertips trailing Luciana’s skin.
“Mmhmm.”
“Was she always supportive of you? Your mum?”
“Yeah, they knew before I’d even come out.” Luciana delighted in the sensation Sam was creating through her body. Every touch lit up her skin. “Claimed they knew before I did and all the usual stuff.”
“I don’t think I actually ever came out. I just introduced a girlfriend to Mum once and that was that.” Sam laughed. “I don’t think she cared either way, to be honest.”
“We’re lucky really…”
“We are,” Sam agreed, her eyes closing momentarily. “I’m lucky.”
“How so?”
“I’m here with you. Just us. It’s perfect.”
“I’ve had relationships in the past. One or two,” Luciana said. “I’ve had the time of my life with some of them, but you…” She studied Sam’s face, taking in her every feature. “I’ve never felt how I feel when I'm with you.”
“No?” A smile played at the corners of Sam’s mouth.
“Not like this. Not even close.” Luciana’s voice wavered. “Do you believe that everybody has someone out there waiting for them?”
“I do.”
“I think I’ve found my someone.” Luciana’s eyes welled with tears. “And I know you've had your someone, but maybe there is more than one person out there for us.”
“Forget about my past, Luciana.” Sam shifted closer, her voice low. “I don’t want you to ever feel second best.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Still, I want you to do this the way I am.”
“And how’s that?” Luciana’s brows drew together.
“New. Fresh. No past included,” Sam said. “The life I had with my wife was what I wanted, it was beautiful. But you and her, you're different people. Different times.”
“Yeah…”
“I went about this all
completely the wrong way, I'm aware of that, but when I tell you that I want you in my life… I mean it. I’m sure about you, okay?”
“I know you are.” Luciana’s eyes shifted from Sam’s to her lips. “I guess I just hope that one day I can be your everything.”
“And what makes you think that one day that will happen?”
“I mean, it’s okay if you never feel that way about me—”
“If I already feel that way now…”
“Don’t say something you don’t mean, Sam.” Luciana looked pointedly at her girlfriend. “I’m a big girl; I can take your honesty.”
“That was my honesty.” Sam propped herself up on her elbow. “You've brought so much to my life, so much more than I thought anyone could give me.”
“Okay.” Luciana rolled her eyes playfully. “You're going to make me cry if you carry on.”
“So cry.” Sam shrugged. “Because you better believe that the worry and the apprehension stop now. From me. From you. Tonight has been fucking beautiful with you.”
“God, you're killing me.”
“Now, move your arse…” Sam dragged her girlfriend up to her feet. “Because this place needs christening and I'm done waiting.”
“Did I ever tell you how much I love this demanding side?”
“Tell me when your legs are wrapped around my head!” Sam pulled Luciana’s body against her, swaying as they collided. “Upstairs, now!”
Twenty-One
Silence. Peace. A sense of belonging. Luciana, in this moment, felt exactly that. The sun beat down on her face, aviator sunglasses covering her eyes. Sam milled about somewhere inside, preparing lunch, but she found herself unable to move. Luciana couldn’t bring herself to head inside, not when the view she was offered was so ideal for a Saturday morning. Sam hadn’t said much since they woke up, but Luciana assumed she was processing being here. It was one thing to come back to your old home, but to wake the following morning in a bed you once shared with your wife? It had to sting. It had to bring back a mountain of memories, and some not necessarily good ones.
She glanced back. Sam was preparing a salad, her white tank top covering her body. Luciana struggled to remain composed around her girlfriend regardless of her choice of dress, but something about a relaxed and comfortable Sam made her smile harder. Longer. Wider. Returning to the view of the lake in front of her, Luciana’s heart fluttered. Not for a reason in particular, but it fluttered, and she felt it intensely. This view and the silence that came with it allowed her to think. To breathe. To just be. Her life was always so fast-paced that she hadn’t ever truly stopped and thought about where she was headed. Now that she had the opportunity to do that, it was overwhelming. It gave her a reason to sit and evaluate everything she’d been through…and everything she could potentially have. Luciana didn’t make a habit of fucking up in life, and she knew she had to continue that if she had any hopes of truly keeping hold of Sam. It’s all she wanted. As she sat here, her feet tucked away underneath her on the swing bed, it was all she saw in her future. Take away the worries, the past, their age…and life was as close to perfect as it could ever be.
Nothing about this suggested pressure or uncertainty. The only thing Luciana felt this morning was happiness. Complete, earth-shattering happiness. Did Sam feel the same? She didn’t know. Life had been incredibly hard for her girlfriend in recent years, but Luciana hoped that Sam felt just an ounce of what she did. It didn’t matter how long it took for this to all fall into place; she wasn’t going anywhere.
The sound of tyres on gravel caused her to look away from the lake, her forehead creasing. “Um, babe?”
“Yeah?” Sam called back, tossing the salad in a homemade vinaigrette. “Everything okay?”
“Someone’s here to see you.”
“Unlikely. Nobody knows I'm here.”
“Well, somebody does.” Luciana stood up and moved to the edge of the decking. “Red Volvo? Ring any bells?”
“Yeah.” Sam sighed, wiping her hands on a towel. “It’s the family.”
“Your parents?” Luciana’s eyes widened. “Shit! I’m not dressed for meeting parents.”
“I wouldn’t worry.” Sam appeared behind her girlfriend, placing her hand on the small of her back. “They show up unannounced. They’ll get what they’re given.”
“Still…” Luciana backed up. “I should change.”
“You look beautiful.” Sam tugged her wrist, pulling their bodies closer together. “And you've caught the sun.” Their lips met, softly. “Mm, I could do this all day.”
“Well, you’d better remove that thought.” Luciana cleared her throat. “Your mum looks like she’s about to strangle me.”
“Are you ready for this?” Sam asked. “For whatever may happen?”
“Will I still have you at the end of it?”
Sam nodded, her lips upturned. “You know you will.”
“Then I'm ready.” Luciana pushed out her chest, laughing. “Hit me with ‘em.”
“Sam, love!” Susan waved as she took the steps to the decking. “We thought we’d find you here.”
“Yeah. Since I told you I’d be here,” Sam mumbled, rolling her eyes. “Hi, Mum.”
“Sam, it’s about time you came home.” Sam’s dad, Bill, cradled a bouquet of flowers. “It’s good to see you, love.”
“You too, Dad.” Sam pulled her father into an embrace. “And you, Linds.”
“Hi.” Lindsay held back, her hands shoved in the pockets of her jeans. “Happy birthday.”
What? Luciana’s heart sunk. How could Sam keep this from me? “Um, come again?” She faced her girlfriend fully, her eyebrow raised. “It’s your birthday?”
“It is.” Sam nodded. “And it’s not a big deal. I don’t celebrate.”
“Sure you do.” Bill approached his daughter, pushing the flowers towards her. “Happy birthday, love.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Sam smiled sheepishly at Luciana. “Dad, this is my girlfriend, Luciana. Luciana, this is my dad, Bill.”
“Lovely to meet you.” Bill held out his hand. “Susan tells me you're the one who encouraged our Sam to come home…”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Luciana lowered her eyes as she took Sam’s father’s hand. “But I'm happy she chose to come back.”
“You’re doing something right.” He winked. “She’s not been here in years.”
“I believe so.” Luciana wore a crooked smile, still reeling that Sam had chosen to hide the fact it was her birthday. She didn’t have a thing here. Not a card or a gift. Nothing. Now, she felt like a shitty girlfriend. “Hi, Susan.” Luciana smiled. “Lindsay.”
“Hi,” they both said in unison, Susan a little less enthusiastic.
“Can you excuse me a minute?” she asked Sam. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Of course.” Sam leaned in, kissing Luciana’s cheek. She suspected her girlfriend was unimpressed by the news she had just received, but Sam had no intentions of celebrating her birthday. It wasn’t important. “Are you okay?”
“Fucking great,” Luciana muttered under her breath. “Won't be long.”
Sam watched as her girlfriend’s shoulders slumped, feeling marginally cruel for not disclosing this day to her. It hadn’t been intentional, but all the days rolled into one as far as Sam was concerned. Her only hope was that Luciana wouldn’t worry about it all day. She had a heart of gold but being here was good enough. In Sam’s eyes, being in her life was the greatest gift she could ever receive.
“How is it being back?” Susan asked, catching her daughter’s attention.
“Great, yeah.” Sam’s fingers trailed her hair as she turned around and went inside. “Can I make anyone coffee?”
“I’d love one,” Bill said, propping himself up against the kitchen counter. “It’s great seeing you here, Sam. Isn’t it, Sue?”
“Yes, it is.” Susan’s smile widened as she approached Sam. “About yeste
rday… I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to discuss it right now, Mum. Maybe later, yeah?”
“If that’s what you want, okay.”
“I just want everyone to be okay with this.” Sam placed the bouquet down at the side of the sink and braced herself against the unit. “I don’t want her to feel out of place here, so if that’s what you've come here to do, I'd rather not hear it.”
“That’s not why we’re here.” Susan shook her head.
“What’s going on?” Bill asked. “What have you said, Sue?”
“Nothing, Dad.” Sam turned around, smiling. “Wires just got crossed, is all.” Sam’s eyes found her mother’s. “Isn’t that right?”
“Perfectly right,” Susan agreed. “Why don’t I make that coffee while you check on your girlfriend? I think she’s a little angry with you.”
“Yeah, I have a feeling you could be right.” Sam excused herself from the room and took the staircase. She found Luciana perched on the end of the bed, her phone in her hands. “Baby?”
“I don’t know what’s available around here.” Her shoulders sagged. “No florists. Nothing like that.”
“For what?”
“A shitty gift which will be seen as an afterthought.” Luciana scoffed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not important.”
“It is to me.” Luciana’s brows drew together. “These things matter to me.”
“I’m sorry.” Sam crouched down, taking her girlfriend’s hand. “I am, I'm sorry.”
“It’s a bit late now.”
“Having you here…this time we've spent alone…is more than I could have asked for this weekend.” Sam cupped her face, stroking her thumb across Luciana’s bottom lip. “I don’t need gifts to know that you care. I just need you.”
“This really isn’t okay.” Luciana closed her eyes, a tear slipping from them. “Not by any stretch.”
“But?”
“Your parents and Lindsay are downstairs so we should go back down.”
The Arrangement Page 23