by Erin Trejo
“Are you really going to give me the it’s not me, it’s you speech?” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
I sigh. What the hell does she want me to do here?
“You don’t know me, Tay. When I fuck, I fuck hard. When I’m done, I toss your ass to the side and move the fuck on.” I wait for it to register with her. I’m a piece of shit that she doesn’t need to be mixed up with.
“That means nothings,” she whispers, a determined glint in her eyes.
She steps toward me, her hand running the length of my chest. My heart rate spikes. This isn’t going to end well for either of us.
“Stop, Tay,” I warn her. Her hands keep moving though. I grip the beer bottle in my hand tighter. This is so fucking wrong I can’t seem to make my mind and my hands work together. I should stop her, stop this, but I can’t.
“Tay!” I snap. She looks into my eyes, taking a step away from me. The tears well up before they spill over. I move to stand next to her, throwing the bottle against the wall. I watch it shatter and crumble to the floor. Tay jolted, but she didn’t move. I run my hand through my hair wondering what the hell I’m doing here. She’s just too perfect to be messed up by someone like me. So why do I want to turn around and hold her? Why do I want to claim her as mine?
Walking over to where the glass shattered, I kneel down and pick up the pieces. My chest is tight. My mind is reeling. I don’t even notice that I’m squeezing the glass in my palm until I hear her.
“Mayhem! You’re bleeding.”
There are spots in front of my eyes. I’m losing myself. This is how it felt when I lost Becca. The ache in my chest worsens.
“Mayhem?” Her voice is closer, but I can’t see her. My vision’s blurred. My breathing is sporadic.
Chapter 14
Taylor
I contemplate calling 9-1-1. His eyes are wild, and he doesn’t seem to be here in this moment. He’s gone. I’m not sure where his mind has gone. I reach for his hand, the one squeezing the glass. Blood drips to the floor. I cradle his hand in mine, unfurling his fingers to pick out pieces of glass.
“Are you ok?” I ask softly, looking up to meet his eyes. The way they shimmer in the light. The way they darken. It’s all too much. His free hand comes to rest on my cheek. I lean into his touch.
“I’m bad, Tay. Nothin’ good ever comes from bein’ near me,” he warns me softly, but I don’t care. There is something good in him, I can feel it.
“We need to clean your hand.” I slowly stand, never letting go of his bleeding hand as I lead him into the bathroom. I direct him to sit on the edge of the tub. Reluctantly I let him go to grab the first aid kit. I grab the supplies I need as he watches me. His head cocks to the side. His eyes burn my skin. There’s so much longing in those beautiful eyes. My gentleness mixed with his harshness is such a sweet friction. I want more of it.
“Where did you go?” I finally ask as I sit on my knees in front of him. His eyes are sheltered. He holds more secrets than I thought inside of him.
“I don’t know. It happens sometimes. Hey, look, I’m fine.” He tries to pull his hand away from me, but I don’t let him.
“Humor me.”
Mayhem drops his hand back onto his leg, palm up. I get to work cleaning it and making sure I got all the slivers of glass out of it.
“I don’t think it needs stitches,” I tell him once the bleeding slows. I place some bandages over it before wrapping it with gauze. When I’m done, he moves his wrapped hand to my cheek. Looking up into his eyes, I’m lost. As lost as he is.
“Why are you tryin’ so hard, Tay? Why is it so important that you feel wanted? Who made you feel like you weren’t?” His voice has softened to almost a whisper. It tugs at my heart.
“My dad sent me away when my mom died. He always told me it was my fault. He didn’t want me around,” I say softly. “I was young, and I believed him. He’s my father after all.” I don’t know why I feel comfortable enough to tell him this. What the hell is wrong with me?
“How old were you? When she died?” he asks as though he’s interested.
“I was seven when she died. Dad said it was my fault. He sent me away when I was eight. I’ve only seen him maybe twelve times since then.”
His mouth gapes open. His eyes widen. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”
I shake my head and shrug. I stand from the floor and take a step back realizing just how fucking desperate I look. “It doesn’t matter now.”
I reach for the shirt hanging on the hook by the door. I need to get out of this bathroom. I need to get away from him. I feel like he’s ripping my walls apart piece by piece, and I don’t like the vulnerable feeling it leaves me with. I turn and start to pull my shirt on when it’s ripped from my hands. His breath is so close, his warmth skating over my skin. Mayhem slides his hand around my waist, pulling me into his hard body. His lips are mere inches from my neck.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Tay. He’s a bastard to make you feel like that.” His lips touch my neck, and heat floods my body.
“You deserve so much more, Tay.” His tongue slides down my neck, across my shoulder blade. He nips at my skin, pulling my bra strap. My body trembles.
“I want you, Mayhem.” The words fall from my lips before I can rethink them.
“You don’t know what you’re askin’ for.”
For a minute, I think he’s going to pull away. I’m almost certain he’s going to reject me again. His body goes still, but his heat overwhelms me as his rock-hard chest presses against my back. I’d give anything to see the look in his eyes right now. To try and get a read on him.
“Go in your room. Take everything off and wait for me.” He nips at my shoulder once more before giving me a little shove.
Why I follow his directions is beyond me. Maybe it’s the pull he has over me. Maybe it’s the way his voice is demanding yet gentle with me. I do it though like an obedient little girl. I walk from the bathroom and straight to my room. In a daze, I pull my panties and bra off, tossing them to the floor. I climb on the bed and wait. My heart is stammering inside of me. I saw the size of him. Is it going to hurt? Is he going to be easy with me since it’s my first time? So many thoughts rush me at once that I didn’t notice him step into the room. He stands there, pure muscle and perfection, watching me.
“Touch yourself.” My eyes jerk to his. He’s serious.
“I’ve never…” I stumble over my own words. I’ve never really touched myself. Sure, the thought was there, but I never acted on it. Another one of my sad realities.
Mayhem cocks his head to the side. “Never?”
I shake my head slowly. A grin crosses his face. He walks to the edge of the bed, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. My mouth goes dry. He’s body is perfect. Covered in colorful tattoos and designs. Mayhem kneels on the bed, watching me intently.
“Slide your finger into your pussy,” he demands.
My body vibrates with need. His commanding voice setting off all kinds of feelings inside of me. I’ve never had a man command me with the power Mayhem does. It’s like it wasn’t even a choice to follow his commands.
I slowly lower my hand and find myself soaking wet for him. I run my finger through the wetness and moan as I watch him. His eyes blaze with fire, holding me hostage.
Chapter 15
Mayhem
I watch her intently. The way her body responds to my commands. She loves it. I fucking love it more.
“That’s it. Keep goin’,” I say my voice growing husky. She closes her eyes, enjoying the feelings rolling through her. I pull my remaining clothes and boots off quickly, grabbing a condom out of my back pocket. I slide it on quickly, tossing the wrapper to the floor. Licking my lips, I watch her please herself. It’s a fucking gorgeous sight to see. The fact that she’s never done this before and now I’m the first one to see it only makes me want to be inside of her that much more. She’s tossing all her doubts to the wind an
d pleasing herself.
“You like that, love?” I ask, climbing up from my kneeling position at the end of the bed and settle in between her legs. I reach down and slide a finger inside of her as she arches into my touch. The moans that fall from her lips make my dick twitch.
“I know you are so fuckin’ close, I can feel you clenchin’, but you aren’t havin’ it yet.” I pull my finger out of her and grab her wrist, halting her actions. Her eyes snap open. She looks down at me with lust in those beautiful blue eyes.
“You need to be sure, Tay,” I tell her. I don’t want her to regret this shit later. Why I even care is what’s bothering me the most. I never care, but for some reason with her, I do.
“Yes,” she says breathlessly.
I slide up her body, kissing her stomach as I go. I reach between us and grab my dick. Twirling the head around her clit, she moans. I love it. I love that sound that she keeps making.
“I shouldn’t do this, but you’re fuckin’ with my head, Tay.” I touch her entrance, and she stiffens.
“Tell me to stop,” I say. I need her to say it. I need her to say no. I almost beg her to stop me.
“Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop,” she begs.
I thrust forward slightly, letting her adjust to me as I go. Her mouth opens, her eyes squeeze shut. I push a little further and groan. She’s so fucking tight. My body aches to take her hard and rough. I’ve never been this fucking gentle in my life.
Tay’s hands grip my arms, her nails digging into my skin. “Please, Mayhem,” she begs.
What is she begging for? More? “You gotta tell me what to do here, Tay. I want to fuck you into this goddamn mattress.” I growl. I’m trying here. My resolve is starting to fade quickly though.
“Do it. I want to feel it, Mayhem. Feel you.”
I don’t have to be told twice. She may be a virgin but not after this thrust.
I plow through her barrier. Tay screams, but I can’t stop now. She said to go and I’m going. I spread her wide as I plunge into her. She grips my arms in a death grip. I don’t see anything though. I’m lost in her body, in the pleasure that flows through me. I lean down and kiss her roughly, tugging her bottom lip into my mouth. I suck it hard, fucking her harder. The whole time something is telling me this is wrong. It’s a nagging fucking voice, too. I try to shut it up but the fucker screams in full force.
“Oh, God!”
My eyes snap open as I look down that the pure pleasure on Tay’s face. As wrong as this is, it feels too damn good. Thrust after thrust, I claim her body. I own it. I please it. And I fucking ruin it for anyone who may come after me. Why does that last part piss me off? Why does anyone else touching her make me want to strangle someone?
“You’re so close, Tay.” I grumble as I take her hard. Her pussy clenches around me. My eyes roll into the back of my head. I’ve never felt anything like this before.
Not even with Becca.
Tay’s heels dig into my ass as my hips thrust unrelentingly until I feel her explode. Tay comes, screaming and spasming. Her eyes stay tightly closed.
I lose all my senses. My thrusting becomes uneven right before I fill this fucking condom full. Tay gasps for air as I rest my body over hers, making sure not to smother her but letting my face stay buried in her neck.
“You’re gonna be sore,” I tell her. She giggles and nods. She fucking giggles after I’ve fucked her senseless.
I pull out of her and climb off the bed. I head into the bathroom to clean up and dispose of the evidence of what I’ve just done. Wetting a cloth, I walk back into the room and climb back on the bed. I reach down and wipe the mess I’ve made of Tay’s body. Her eyes jerk to mine, and they are the softest I’ve ever seen them.
“You have a sweet side?” she asks with her eyes wide.
I chuckle before I say, “Don’t get it fucked up, love. I’m not sweet.” Her smile fades, and I know I’ve fucked up again. There’s no surprise there.
“Why do you say love?” she asks seemingly interested.
I toss the rag to the floor and lie down next to her, propping myself up on my arm.
“My mom. She was born in the United Kingdom. Her mom always said it. She always said it. I guess it stuck.” I shrug. Tay rolls onto her side, her hand caressing my cheek. I close my eyes and let her warmth rocket through me.
It’s all wrong. I know it is but I can’t stop myself from feeling. And with Tay, I do feel things. I didn’t set out looking for anything. Hell, I know I don’t deserve it, but for this moment in time, I’m taking it.
She just feels so damn right.
Chapter 16
Taylor
Mayhem didn’t lie. My pussy ached for a week. Probably because he fucked me three more times that night. But he’s been preoccupied the last few days. He doesn’t say much and hasn’t touched me again, which hurts in a way. I’ve tried to get him to fuck me again, but he won’t. He keeps his distance aside from today. He’s always in his own head. I’d love to get in there and see what runs rampant when he’s so silent. I watch him. At times, he looks peaceful. At others, he looks so lost. I hate that look.
“Are you listening to me, Taylor?” my dad snaps. I pull my gaze from where Mayhem is talking with some of my dad’s guys.
“I heard you! Who the hell is after you anyway? Why can’t I go out alone?” I’m so aggravated with all of this. I don’t know what his shit has to do with me. From what I knew, no one is aware I am even his kid! How could they when I’ve been in Rome for the last twelve years?
“You are as stubborn as always! You don’t listen! That’s why you were sent away to begin with! Maybe that should be considered again,” he barks and I flinch. He wouldn’t send me away again. How could he? I’m an adult now! Granted I don’t have a job and he pays for everything, but I’m still a legal adult. Shit! Why didn’t I go to work at Leggs like I planned?
My eyes find Mayhem again. That’s why. He wouldn’t allow me to work there. But who the hell is he anyway? He’s said it more than once. We fucked and that’s it. We aren’t anything. I need to take charge of my own life.
“You are the most self-centered person I’ve ever met in my life. You know, if you don’t like what I’m doing, you could always get a job.”
Tears prickle my eyes. I don’t want to cry in front of him. I won’t. So, I sniff back the tears. I watch my dad storm away. He stops over near Mayhem and the other guys. They all look at him, but Mayhem doesn’t seem to pay any attention to him. Wiping my eyes quickly, I suck it up. I refuse to let him see me cry anymore. I watch Mayhem walk toward me. The way he saunters is like he has no cares in the world.
“You ok with ridin’ tonight? I need to talk to my Pop,” he says. I nod slowly not wanting him to see the hurt in my eyes. That doesn’t work to my advantage either.
“What’s wrong?” he asks cocking his head to the side, no doubt seeing the hurt in my eyes.
I shake my head and start back inside when he grabs me.
“If this is about the other night, I told you. I’m not any good for you, Tay.”
Why is that all he thinks about? Why does my life have to revolve around him? It doesn’t!
“It isn’t you! Why the hell do you assume it’s you? Do you think that you are the center of my world?” I snap. Mayhem watches me but doesn’t say anything. When he releases his grip on my arm, I turn quickly and head to my room to grab my jacket and get Minnie set up for the night.
I’m thankful that he doesn’t follow me. I don’t know that I can handle it anymore. Steeling myself with a fortifying breath, I head into the living room and find Mayhem leaning against the wall looking as sexy as ever. His long legs are crossed over each other at the ankle. His long blonde hair hanging around his shoulders. Jesus! He is gorgeous.
“Stop eye fuckin’ me,” he says without looking up. I huff and head toward the door. His arm comes out to stop me. The palm of his hand rests on my stomach. The warmth swallows me whole. He gently pushes me back so that I’m
standing next to him. He leans in close to me. My heart spikes.
“You smell good,” he says as he inhales. Shit, he’s turning me on. “Like wet pussy that is beggin’ to be fucked.” His words send chills over my skin.
“Where are we going?” I try to change the subject. I can’t handle the way my pussy aches for him when he’s this close to me.
“Told you, got shit to handle. You gotta ride.” His fingers skim the flesh under the hem of my shirt. My body erupts in bumps. Why do I let him work me up like this? Mayhem quickly pulls his hand away and heads toward the door. I follow behind him like the good girl. Like always. We make it to the bike, and he passes me a helmet.
“You got an issue with stayin’ at the clubhouse tonight? Will the dog be ok? My meetin’ might be awhile.”
I climb on behind him before I say, “Minnie will be fine. Maybe one of those guys will fuck me since you don’t want to.” His body tenses. It’s true! That’s the first time he’s touched me since that night and I’m finding myself way too heated.
“You got a death wish?” he glances over his shoulder, his eyes dangerously dark.
“No, I have a sex drive,” I counter. His eyes blaze, and I know I’m pushing him, but he has no claim over my body or what I do with it.
“Watch your goddamn mouth, Tay. I promise none of them will touch you once I say the words.”
That smirk on his face pisses me off. I want to slap him. He wouldn’t do that, would he?
“You wouldn’t,” I state.
“You don’t think so? No one else is gonna touch you. I’ll fuck you when I’m damn good and ready.”
He turns around, and my body ignites. Why is he torturing me?
Chapter 17
Mayhem
I’m going to kill her or spank her. Spanking sounds a lot better to me. Mouthy little shit. Did she really think that threatening me with fucking one of my boys was going to work? Nice fucking try on her part. That won’t happen. I’ll make sure none of them even look her way. Wait…what the hell am I thinking? I’m completely fucked up in the head. I shouldn’t care who she’s with but I do.