Frank raised his trembling hands to his face, cupping the palms around either cheek and shaking his head like he refused to accept what had happened.
Hannah’s hand, also shaking, gripped Mia’s in response. Their eyes met for an instant, Hannah’s every bit as tear-soaked as those of her niece. She and her mum may have fallen out for a long time, Mia thought, but she clearly still loved her. She’d lost her twin. If anyone could understand her own grief, it was Hannah. And her poor grandad too, of course, who’d lost one of his children.
‘It’s not natural!’ Frank exclaimed, his face crumpling. ‘I … I’m sorry. I thought I could do this, but I can’t …’
His resolve to push on with his speech collapsed. He staggered to one side, breaking down in tears as Mark, Joan and the celebrant all raced forward at once to support and comfort him. The sight was too much for Mia. She also started sobbing uncontrollably and was barely able to register anything else that happened as the proceedings continued with some readings. Then one of her mum’s favourite songs was played: Eva Cassidy’s ‘Over the Rainbow’. This had Mia in bits. She could picture her mum singing along while playing it in the kitchen at home. She could actually hear her voice in her head – and it was like all of her pain and sorrow came billowing out in a huge plume of emotion.
She was way too distraught to lay a wreath on the coffin, as they’d planned, lacking both the physical and mental strength to step out in front of everyone at this moment of intense personal grief.
‘Don’t worry,’ Hannah whispered in a shaky voice, slowly moving her arm away from where she’d placed it around her. ‘I’ll do it.’
‘No!’ Mia cried, louder than she intended, reaching out to her, desperate for her aunt to remain at her side. ‘Please stay here with me.’
‘Of course I will,’ she replied, as Mark leaned in and offered to place the floral tribute instead.
Mia felt a terrible wrench when, soon afterwards, the coffin disappeared behind the curtain to the tune of ‘Lay Me Down’ by Sam Smith. This was another song her mum had loved. Mia remembered her swaying along to it on one particular occasion as she’d driven them to the dentist. ‘He’s got such a wonderful voice,’ Diane had said. ‘Every single note he sings is jam-packed with emotion.’ Mia hadn’t replied. She’d been in a sulk about something unimportant, which she now regretted. If only she’d known then how precious such moments spent together would turn out to be.
Everything felt so final, so raw, it was all Mia could do not to howl her lungs out to express how utterly devastated she felt, like her entire essence had been shattered into a million little pieces.
Later, as her uncle drove them to the reception Frank had arranged at a nearby cricket club, Mia stole a glance at Hannah, sitting next to her in the rear seat of the BMW, and then at Mark, behind the wheel. Neither was speaking at that moment. They both looked tired and anxious; lost in their thoughts, staring out of the car into the distance.
She hadn’t known either of them for long at all, having no memory of the time she’d spent with them as a tot before moving down south. Only a few weeks had passed since her mum had left her with them in Manchester, but they’d already been through so much together, it felt way longer.
Hannah and Mark had both been brilliant at the funeral, watching over her like a pair of bodyguards. They’d been amazing with her generally, as she’d explained to her grandad when he’d taken her aside in her bedroom last night for a private chat.
‘How do you honestly feel about going to live with your aunt and uncle in Manchester?’ he’d asked, sitting next to her on the bed. ‘Yes, it was your mum’s wish for you, but as your grandad – someone who loves you so very much – I need to know you’re definitely happy about it. Manchester is a long way from your home and I realise you’re still getting to know them, so … does it feel right?’
‘Um.’ Mia hadn’t been sure how to answer.
As if reading her mind, Frank had added: ‘For the record, I’m not trying to get you to say you’d rather stay with me, kid. You’re absolutely always welcome, but that’s not what this is about. As much as I’d love to have you come and live with me and Joan, Hannah and Mark are a more sensible choice. They’re much younger, for a start, and it’s obvious how fond of you they are already. I think they’d do a great job of looking after you and you’d want for nothing. But I’m conscious of how fragile you are at the moment and I have to be certain you’re okay with everything.’ He’d leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘Does that make it easier to answer?’
‘A bit,’ she’d replied. ‘The idea of moving – leaving my home, my friends, my school behind – is scary. But I know I can’t stay here and, well, Hannah and Mark have made me feel really welcome. I’ll probably never get my head around why Mum left me like she did. Why she didn’t say a proper goodbye. But the one thing I do kind of understand is that she thought she was doing the best for me, right or wrong. And leaving me with them like she did … that’s the easiest bit for me to grasp. So, yeah, I think I’d like to give it a go. But I hope you’ll visit regularly.’
Frank had pulled her into a tight hug. ‘You just try to keep me away.’
What Mia hadn’t told him was that a part of her also hoped that by being in Manchester she might finally get to meet and, perhaps, start up some kind of relationship with her father. Her mum had always given her the impression he lived somewhere up there. Now he actually knew about her, would he try to contact her? She hoped so, even though she was partly terrified by the idea. What if he didn’t like her? What if she didn’t like him? Gosh, life was complicated these days.
Mia felt like she’d aged ten years since her mum’s death. But as sad and broken as she was, at least she had Mark and Hannah. They were trying so hard, bless them, despite their lack of experience of raising children. And, thank goodness, things between the two of them seemed better now after that blip when Hannah had briefly stayed away. Mia knew how lucky she was to have them, today more than ever.
As the car continued towards the cricket club, Mia tried to steer her thoughts away from everything that had happened at the funeral. She needed a break from the tears and heartache. Instead she considered how similar Hannah looked and sounded to her mum. She’d found it weird when she’d first arrived in Manchester, but now it gave her comfort, like a part of her mum was still with her. As different as they were personality-wise, there were also similarities in their behaviour. Hannah’s facial expressions and the way her nose wrinkled up when she laughed, for instance, were just like her mum’s. They even had the same fastidious way of scrubbing, rinsing and stacking the pots and pans while doing the washing-up. Mia noticed new little things all the time.
‘How are you doing, Mia?’ Mark asked from the driver’s seat, flashing her a reassuring look in the rear-view mirror.
‘I’m okay,’ she replied. ‘A bit nervous about facing everyone at the reception. Do you think there will be a lot of people there?’
‘Don’t worry about that,’ Hannah chipped in. ‘You can talk to as many or as few people as you like. Everyone’s on your side. There are no expectations.’
Her aunt hesitated before reaching into the seat pocket before her and pulling out a small package wrapped in brown paper, which she handed to her niece. ‘I’m honestly not sure if this is the right time,’ she said, ‘but Mark and I thought it might put a smile on your face on a day when you need it.’
‘Oh, thank you,’ she replied. ‘What is it?’
‘You’ll have to open it to find out.’
She tore the paper apart and out fell a book. But not just any book – it was her aunt’s novel.
‘The proof copies arrived the other day,’ Hannah said. ‘That one’s all yours. I hope you like it.’
‘Wow,’ Mia said, grinning for a moment in spite of everything. ‘It looks amazing. So professional. I’m going to start it tonight. It’ll take my mind off things.’
Hannah smiled gently. ‘No rush. W
henever you feel ready.’
‘How does it feel to see your name in print?’ Mia asked.
‘You tell me. Look inside, on the page where I’ve placed a bookmark.’
Mia was confused. She’d already seen her aunt’s name, Hannah Cook, on the cover. What was she talking about? She opened the book regardless, and then she saw it – the dedication. It read:
For Mia. So glad to have you back in my life.
She gulped, feeling herself start to cry again. ‘What? How?’
‘Do you like it?’ Hannah asked.
‘I don’t know what to say. But yes, I love it.’
‘Good. I thought you would. I barely knew you when I wrote the book, more’s the pity. But now – and after everything you’ve been through – well, it seemed perfect. I contacted my editor and luckily I was just in time before they printed it.’
‘What about Mark?’ Mia asked.
‘Oh, you deserve it far more than I do,’ her uncle replied. ‘Besides, I reckon your aunt’s got dozens of other books in her. Plenty of time for me to get a dedication, if I’m lucky.’
‘Thank you so much,’ Mia said. ‘It means a lot.’
‘Good, because you mean an awful lot to us too, Mia,’ a dewy-eyed Hannah said, her voice unsteady. ‘Things have been really tough recently. Today especially. But we’re going to get through this together: first the funeral reception and then everything else.’
‘All for one and one for all, like in The Three Musketeers,’ Mark chipped in.
Hannah gave a sarcastic shake of her head. ‘Sorry about him. He tries his best.’
‘What?’ he shrugged, winking at Mia. ‘That’s a nice literary reference. I thought you’d appreciate it.’
As Mark pulled the BMW into the cricket club car park, Mia found herself short of breath at the prospect of facing everyone. She felt so anxious and fragile – but at least she didn’t have to do it by herself. Her aunt and uncle had her back, as did her grandad, and there was strength to be drawn from that, as well as hope for her future. Her mum was gone. She was never coming back. But at least she’d left Mia in a safe place, with people who truly cared for her and would protect her.
‘Like family?’ the teenager said quietly. ‘We can get through this like family, right?’
Hannah nodded. ‘Exactly.’
‘Yep,’ Mark added. ‘Definitely. That’s the one: like family.’
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thank you to everyone who’s helped me to produce this, my fourth novel, including all my family, friends and readers. It was a tough one to write at times, but I’m delighted with the end result. My editor, Phoebe Morgan, was fantastic as always. Victoria Oundjian was also a huge help, particularly when I was first developing the idea. Hats off to you both plus Sabah, Elke and the rest of the amazing team at Avon.
Big thanks also to:
The best wife, daughter, sister and parents that anyone could ever wish for.
My brilliant literary agent, Pat Lomax, and everyone at BLM.
Jill, Matt, John and Darren, who were all kind enough to help me with various aspects of research. Much appreciated!
How do you leave the person you love the most?
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How far can love carry you?
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True friendship can last a lifetime …
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About the Author
Former journalist S.D. Robertson quit his role as a local newspaper editor to pursue a lifelong ambition of becoming a novelist. His debut novel, Time to Say Goodbye, was published to rave reviews in 2016, and his second book, If Ever I Fall, hit the shelves in 2017. This was followed by Stand By Me in 2018.
An English graduate from the University of Manchester, he’s also worked as a holiday rep, a door-to-door salesman, a train cleaner, a kitchen porter and a mobile phone network engineer.
Over the years, S.D. Robertson has spent time in France, Holland and Australia, but home these days is back in the UK. He lives in a village near Manchester with his wife and daughter. There’s also his cat, Bernard, who likes to distract him from writing – usually by breaking things. My Sister’s Lies is his fourth novel.
Also by S.D. Robertson
Time to Say Goodbye
If Ever I Fall
Stand By Me
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
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Canada
HarperCollins Canada
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India
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New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited
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United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
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London, SE1 9GF
http://www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
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New York, NY 10007
http://www.harpercollins.com
My Sister's Lies Page 28