Bad news from the labels aside, I missed Lace. I kept wanting to call her but wouldn’t. Expecting her to appear, but she didn’t. And it killed me.
“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Ann asked around a huge bite of cake, the last one on her plate.
“None of your business, squirt,” I said without any heat.
“Because he drank too much.” Miriam frowned, and then so did the little one. “Like Dad used to when he was here.”
Miriam was right. I’d woken up a few hours ago in a puddle of my own drool. I still had cotton mouth and a pounding headache that resulted from mixing a shit-ton of booze with the pill cocktail Kyle had served me last night.
Suddenly, I heard shouting, surprised it was Bryan’s mom. She hardly ever raised her voice. Turning in the direction of the yelling, I saw her.
Lace.
She stood only a couple of feet from me, her back pressed against the wall. A moment after our gazes connected, her expression went from surprise to a remote mask. I suspected she’d been trying to slip out the door while my back had been turned.
Wanting her, I reached for her before I remembered she’d defied me. Shown her true colors. So I kept my arms where they were, empty at my sides. The couple of feet separating us might as well have been ten thousand miles.
“What the hell?” I narrowed my gaze. She couldn’t see my eyes behind the sunglasses, but they were full of fire. I was pissed. She did this to us, not me. “What are you doing here?”
“You don’t have a right to ask me anything anymore.” Lace lifted her chin, practically breathing fire. “Why are you here?”
“What right do you have to ask,” I said, throwing her words back at her, and she flinched as if she were the injured party in this scenario.
I hated myself that I had to curl my fingers into fists to keep from reaching for her. I wanted to comfort her, even though I’d been the one to cause her discomfort. It was crazy.
“Right. My bad.” Her beautiful amber eyes bright, she tossed a lock of her hair over her shoulder. “I guess we did say all that needed to be said the other night.”
“Babe, I—”
“Not your babe. Not anything to you, apparently.”
I frowned. “Not true.”
“How’s it not? You cut me down. Made me feel like less than nothing.” Her lip trembled. “In front of everyone.”
“You were the one who drew the blade,” I said. “Knifed me in the back. Opposed me when you should have stood with me, on a night that could have secured our future. You did that.” My brows snapped together. “Not me.”
Holding her arms stiff at her sides, she was upset but defiant and glorious. Her eyes shining. Pink in her cheeks. Rapid breaths lifting her perfectly round tits. Even mad as hell at her, I wanted to fuck her.
“I don’t want to fight with you.” Lace’s shoulders drooped as the anger suddenly seemed to drain out of her. “I mean, what’s the point. You’re right. I’m wrong. You already decided.”
“You have it all messed up.” Frustrated, I shook my head.
Lace was the one who’d duped me into thinking we were on the same page, that my dream for us was her dream. I wasn’t a priority for her. I wasn’t a priority for anyone. Alone to look after myself once again, I had to return to my former harsh reality before I’d detoured with her.
A door popped open in the hall behind me. I knew by Lace’s expression that Bryan had appeared. I hated it, the way her eyes softened whenever she looked at him. He wasn’t the sweet boy she’d once known. That was fairy-tale bullshit.
“War. Fu— I mean, hey,” Bryan said, all overly cool. “I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”
“Yeah, apparently not.” I shifted so I could see both him and Lace.
Unfortunately, his mom was also in my peripheral vision. Trapped in the hall behind him, she seemed upset. I didn’t want her to be upset. She was one of the few adults—including Mr. Garrett and Addy Footit—who didn’t think my existence was a waste of oxygen.
Bryan raked a hand through his hair. “Not trying to hide anything, man.”
“Why’s Lace here then?”
“He invited me to come up,” she said, her eyes flashing fire. “He’s my friend. You broke up with me, War. And you kicked me out of the group without even giving me the courtesy of telling me yourself. So, it’s done between us, like you said. And done means you don’t get to dictate anything in my life anymore. Who I’m friends with, or who I decide to go out with, is my own business.” She glanced at Bryan.
Was she trying to imply they were dating? Oh, hell no.
She refocused on me. “Are we clear?”
Fucking hell. She pissed me off, and yet I admired her for it. This girl never backed down. Not from anyone.
“You’re clear. But now it’s my turn to speak,” I said snidely, “and it’s your turn to listen.”
“I don’t have to—”
“A year ago in front of the Fast Mart, I laid myself out to the bone for you.”
Her eyes widened.
“Never did that for any piece of ass. Never tapped another pussy after that, though I had plenty of opportunities.”
“Warren!”
“Sorry, Mrs. Jackson.” I acknowledged her and noted her horrified expression, but I refocused on Lace. “I gave you all of me, and I told you that my plans for the future were our plans. Do you remember that, babe?”
“Yes,” Lace said, looking shockingly pale.
“You threw that in my face last night like it meant nothing.”
“I—”
“In front of the band and two music reps, you made me look like a pussy.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Fucking grow up, Lacey. Life isn’t fair. In Southside, you make your own rules, or you get shit on.”
“Sure. Okay. You’re right.” Her gaze even brighter than before, she swallowed, then bobbed her head. But she didn’t cry. “Thanks for that explanation. It was lovely to be cut into even smaller pieces than last night.”
“Lace.” Sounding all empathetic, Bryan took a step toward her, but I blocked that step.
“I’m taking off,” Lace said. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
“No. Wait.” Bryan shouldered me out of his way, but he only got that play because I was off guard, watching her fall apart.
“No.” She waved him off. “I’ll call Chad. He’ll come get me, my one friend outside the band. You called it, Bry—Bryan. I didn’t see it then, but I see it now. I see it all clearly.” She cranked up her chin. “It was nice to see you again, Mrs. Jackson. I meant what I said. You made a big difference in my life. Thanks again for that. Miriam and Ann, I wish you well.”
Lace paused her gaze on each of them while avoiding looking directly at Bryan or me. Then she turned away from everyone without another word. The hem of her short dress whirled around her toned upper thighs, her spine as inflexible as her sewing shears.
She was giving me the cut, just like I’d given her last night. Bryan too, apparently.
But I didn’t notice how he took it. Watching her leave for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, I bled out all over Mrs. Jackson’s pristine floor. Not him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Lace
I leaned into the consignment shop counter, flipping page after glossy page of an Alluring fashion magazine that I’d thumbed through hundreds of times. But boredom wasn’t why the details that usually interested me blurred before my eyes.
War.
Bry.
Me.
Round and round, my thoughts went, like a merry-go-round with no OFF switch.
I glanced at the two-inch-thick secondhand SAT study book beside the magazine. Lack of sleep and the reasons for it aside, I should be memorizing math formulas, not wasting any more headspace on the impossible variables in my life.
The shop bell rang as if to underscore my thought.
“Welcome to Janet’s Design,” I said, glanc
ing up, and my greeting stalled.
It was Bryan.
Just seeing him, I felt my heart flutter. His brown hair wind-mussed, he was wearing his leather jacket (he and my brother rocked that look better than any other guy did) with his standard black T-shirt and jeans.
But today it wasn’t his handsome face or the way his clothing clung to his chiseled body that made me react the way I did. It was the warmth in his gorgeous eyes. It was like no time had passed, and I had my childhood best friend back. Only not really, because he wasn’t a boy anymore, and I wasn’t a little girl.
“Hi, Bryan,” I said, keeping my tone neutral, since the past was gone and now was now. The current situation between us was clear in a way it never had been, thanks to his mom. We couldn’t go backward, but I also realized now that we couldn’t go forward either. Not even just as friends. “What can I do for you?”
“Not here to shop. Here to check on you.” He scanned the interior as he approached. “Nice place. Cool displays.”
“Thanks.” I kept the racks of clothes in order and arranged the colorful end-cap displays.
“Quiet.”
“Yeah, it’s been a slow day.” I’d only had three customers my entire shift.
“Are you okay?” He stopped on the other side of the checkout counter from me.
“I’m hanging in there.” Averting my gaze, I closed my magazine.
“That doesn’t sound like a yes.”
“It is what it is.” I shrugged and looked back up.
“I wish you would have let me walk you home last night.” The concern in his eyes captivated me.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” I said. That would have been the match to War’s ready-to-ignite fuse. “We both know why.”
“What do you mean?” Bryan’s gaze narrowed.
“We can’t be friends.” I spelled it out, though to me, the explanation seemed unnecessary after last night. “We can’t hang out, and I can’t visit you at your place anymore.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Your friendship with War. Your position in the group. Your future. Being friends with me could jeopardize all that for you.”
“Because War’s not over you,” he said flatly. “Is that it?”
“Oh, he’s over me, all right.” My brow creased. “Did you not hear what he said to me last night?”
“With War, sometimes the level of his emotional response speaks louder truth than his words do.”
“Well, the loud truth I heard was that I blew it.” I pointed to myself. “He feels betrayed by me. And you know how he is as well as I do. When someone’s out with him, they’re out. I’m the enemy now. I don’t want you to get judged guilty by association with me. It’s better to say good-bye right now. Go our separate ways.”
There would never be an our anything for Bryan and me except the wall we shared with us on opposite sides. Only now I understood better the reasons it had to always be there.
His jaw flexing, he said, “I don’t agree.”
“Bryan, please. Don’t be stubborn. This is already difficult enough. Having you back without worrying about War, even for just a little while, was wonderful. But we both know it was only temporary.”
“Lace, listen.” He raked a hand through his hair, pulling the silky strands away from his creased brow, but they just slid right back where they’d been before. Like my feelings for him would if we didn’t have that wall of separation. “I did a lot of thinking last night. I’d like to talk to you about it.”
“Did this thinking occur before or after War laid into you for me being at your place.”
He winced. “After.”
“I’m sure that was an incredibly tense situation for you. For your mom. For everyone. So, you know I’m right.”
“Can you hold off making all these unilateral decisions until after you hear what I have to say?”
“Okay.” I spread my arms wide. “Speak. I’m all ears.”
“Not here. Just you and me. Privately. No potential interruptions.”
He swept his gaze over me. His eyes darkened as if he appreciated my flippy hair style, and the pink plaid sixties dress that skimmed my curves and revealed a long length of my legs. Janet allowed me to wear whatever I liked from the inventory while working. Customers liked my outfits so much that they often purchased them on the spot, or if it wasn’t their size, asked me to put together a similar one for them.
“Can I walk you home after you get off?”
“Sure,” I said. Just because I knew the way it had to be with us, didn’t mean I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Plus, him walking me home would save Dizzy the trip. “It’s closing time now. Diz was going to pick me up. He usually walks me home when it’s dark, but if you call him and let him know there’s been a change in plans, I’ll shut everything down, and we can leave sooner.”
Nodding, Bryan slid his cell out of his pocket. “All right.”
As I counted the cash, I sneaked peeks at him. He was so sexy with his hair in his eyes. I imagined him giving me a flirty look through those thick lashes of his, and let out a longing sigh without thinking.
“You okay?” he asked, looking up from his phone.
“Yeah, just daydreaming.”
“About what?”
“Impossible things. Typical dream stuff.” I jotted down the cash total and locked the register drawer.
A few moments later, I grabbed my wool coat off the hook on the wall and switched off the lights. With Bryan beside me, I flipped the sign to CLOSED, then locked the front door after we stepped through it.
Outside, we turned together and walked side by side beneath faded awnings and mostly closed shops. Lost in my own thoughts, I twirled the looped end of a long string of beads. He plunged his hands in his jacket pockets, his wide shoulders hunched. Whether from the chill in the air or worry inside his head, I wasn’t sure. In a pool of light from a streetlight at the end of the block, we stopped to wait for the crosswalk signal to change.
Finally, he spoke. “I’m not willing to give up being friends, and I don’t see why I should when you and War aren’t even dating anymore.”
“The band, it’s your ticket out of all of this.” I gestured widely at the dilapidated squalor surrounding us. Homeless people hunkered inside cardboard houses. Sirens. Gunshots. Shouting between two angry, rough-looking guys on the other side of the street.
“Yeah, there’s that,” he said as the signal changed. Placing his hand on my lower back, he guided me across the street. The angry shouting faded as we hurried along. “Not to be too arrogant about it, but do you really think War’s gonna get rid of me, the best guitarist he has, just because I’m friends with his ex?”
“Yes, I do.” I raised a brow. “This is War we’re talking about.”
“I disagree. I think we can be friends if we’re not in his face about it.”
“But last night—”
“Last night, I wasn’t thinking straight. We just have to avoid situations where he might misconstrue things.”
I gave that some consideration, wanting to believe Bryan was right.
“Or is that not the real issue for you?” he asked, giving me a long look as we turned onto the street that led to my uncle’s place.
“Of course it is.” I didn’t want Bryan to jeopardize his future for me. “What other reason could there be?”
“Maybe you’re afraid being friends with me would interfere with you getting War back.”
Shocked, I stopped, and Bryan stopped with me, his gaze shadowed since we were between streetlights. “War isn’t taking me back.” That would involve apologies and forgiveness on both sides. I couldn’t even fathom a situation with that occurring.
“That’s not my question.” Stepping closer, Bryan gently lifted my chin.
“No,” I whispered, my skin tingling where he touched me. “I’m not afraid of that.”
What I truly feared was losing Bryan for good.
“So, you don’t hav
e any plans to try to get War back?” Bryan was so close, his breath misted my lips, and his seductive scent swirled around me.
“No, I don’t.” I didn’t have any plans except to bask in the warm glow of him right now.
The heat rolling off Bryan was insane. I imagined getting closer to that fire. Placing my hands on his chest, I’d go up on my toes and tilt my head back while he lowered his.
“Okay, then it’s decided.” His grip tightened on my arms, and he drew me a little closer. “During the week, I don’t see any reason why I can’t continue walking you home from school. Same as before, but better without War dictating everything.”
Numb, I nodded, and he continued talking about what we could and couldn’t do while I watched his lips move and imagined them moving together with mine.
I was screwed.
I was so into Bryan, a guy I could never have except on a limited and most likely temporary basis.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
War
I was totally fucked.
In the garage, sitting on an amp, waiting on the guys to show up for band practice, I replayed the events of the weekend in my head. Sunday had begun just like Saturday, with me recovering from booze and drugs, and I didn’t even get laid. Not because I didn’t have offers, but because I refused them. I didn’t want just any pussy. I wanted one. I wanted only Lace.
When had this happened?
When had she gotten so deeply embedded under my skin that other chicks seemed almost unappealing?
“Hey.” Sager made eye contact with me as he ambled up the driveaway, surprisingly without his best friend. “You’re here early.”
“So are you.” I shrugged. “Had nothing better to do.”
“Me either. King’s at counseling. Should be here shortly.”
Sager set his bass case down near me, chose one of the assortment of lawn chairs hanging on pegs on the wall, and brought it back to where I was. Unfolding it, he took a seat.
“What’s up with you?” he asked.
“Not a whole lot,” I said, not studying him as closely as he studied me. I was too busy alternating between looking at the back door to the house while also watching the driveway.
The Complete Tempest World Box Set Page 18