I smiled. Bryan and Sager laughed. Even War’s lip twitched.
“And I’m Sager Reed.” He had intense observant eyes and a pleasant voice. I could tell that though he seemed the quiet type, he didn’t miss a single thing that went on around him. I was a little in awe of him knowing that he had been the one to design the modifications to Warren’s tattoo. He held out his hand and I took it. “She’s beautiful,” he decided, gaze on mine briefly before it slid to my man. “You lucky bastard. Always scooping up the cream. I remember on the first stop on the tour…”
“Sager, don’t,” War warned low while shaking his head. I felt the sudden flicker of unease shadow the mood in the room. “That was then,” he looked at me. “Things are different now.”
I nodded. I knew he had a past. I tried to communicate through my expression that I understood, that knowing he could have any woman he wanted but had chosen me made me feel more special than insecure. His eyes seemed to go liquid and glowed with an intensity that made me think he might have mind reading capabilities. He brushed his lips across mine, then lifted his head, his gaze moving across the room. He took a step away from me and cleared his throat. “Ok mortals, I’ve got something I need to get off my chest.” He stopped as a piece of popcorn hit him in the face.
I didn’t see who did it, but by the look on her face my money was on Lace.
War raised a brow. I think he knew, too. “As I was getting ready to say,” he started again but another kernel hit him in the cheek. Bryan pasted on an innocent look and threw his hands up in the air when War glared at him. “Should’ve never rescued you from the green Jell-O incident in middle school, asshole.”
“Oh, c’mon, War. Don’t be that way. It’s only popcorn, man.” Catching my perplexed expression, he explained. “It’s tradition to throw shit at War whenever he gets ready to make a speech. He can be really long winded.”
Lace extended the bowl in my direction.
I shook my head amused by the offer and had to put my hand over my mouth to cover up my grin.
I needn’t have bothered. War wasn’t mad. He was smiling; more evidence that despite everything that had happened between them these people were still his friends. “Anyway as I was saying before I was interrupted, the second time, recent events have made me realize what an ass I was during the tour, and I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry.”
There was stunned silence, easy grins turning to shared looks of disbelief. Obviously they had not been expecting an apology. But I wasn’t surprised by what he’d done.
I reached for him, my fingers tightened around his.
As the silence continued to drag on I was just about to consider jumping on the table to dance or doing something, anything, to deflect the tension when King suddenly threw back his head and the boom of his laughter echoed off the walls. “Never thought I’d live to see this day. Break out the tequila, Lace. Time to get shitfaced. Celebrate for real. Hell just froze over… so we’ve got plenty of ice.”
“You’re such an asshole, King.” War shoved him.
King grinned.
War did, too, but he added in the finger.
EPILOGUE
War
The driver held open the door. Shaina exited the limo first, and I watched her set one of those sparkling sky scraper tall heels onto the red carpet. The slit in her long gown slid open revealing way too much of her sexy leg for my liking, but the woman I loved was an actress. I had learned, for the most part, to suppress the urge to lock her away in a tower to keep her all to myself.
This was her big night.
The premier of the Joplin movie.
I was so proud. The soundtrack for the film was giving my new release some serious competition and there was even some Oscar buzz circulating about her performance in it, but looking as hot as she did tonight all I really could think about was getting her back to our hotel room afterward.
Earlier in the day, I had lounged in a fancy ass velvet chair in the corner of our heavily antiqued hotel suite, a beer bottle dangling from my ringed fingers watching her with hooded intensity. A swarm of people buzzed in and out of the room. It took a team to get her ready, a makeup artist, a stylist, and a representative from Lagos. The process was mind numbingly lengthy, but the results were worth it. The sexy beauty I had made love to just hours before had transformed into a glamorous movie star, shining so brightly I needed my shades on just to behold her.
The last minute visit from her agent had been an endurance test, too. The silver haired zero personality type I had secretly nicknamed Vampira, ’cause that’s what she seemed to do best…suck the fun out of everything, had zero tolerance for what she called my ‘dangerous spontaneity’. She was stuck in work mode twenty-four seven which made her a fantastic agent for Shaina, but her presence always cramped my style. I knew she didn’t like me, but I tolerated her because I believed she had played a key role in taking Shaina’s career to the next level. Though Vampira couldn’t see it, I knew I was as good for Shaina as she was for me. Both of us were committed to each other’s goals. Our happiness was as intertwined and inseparable as we were physically whenever our schedules allowed.
And we had the entire weekend together, here tonight at her gig and tomorrow at the sold out benefit concert for Cassie’s Cause.
I planned to make every single moment count.
With that thought in mind, I followed my woman out of the limo, camera and cell flashes going off all around us.
“Shaina Bentley,” voices called out in rapid succession.
I straightened the tie on my tux as Shaina stopped to sign autographs and pose for photographs, pushing the mirrored sunglasses back up my nose so I could watch her sexy ass move in that tight gown Lace had designed for her, a Double LL Couture original.
I didn’t know much about women’s fashion, but did know she was totally captivating in the thing. The crimson red fabric clung to every curve in a sensual way that left very little to the imagination and made me uncomfortable for all the world to see it. But the days of pink and pigtails were gone. She’d escaped the typecasting of the teen realm, emerging as a seductive big screen goddess that chicks wanted to be and other guys just wanted. Too bad for them. She was all mine.
Once we were inside the theatre, we were escorted to a private room off to the side. There were only three chairs in the room, but it was a tight fit because of all the lights and camera equipment. Carter Besille, the infamous celebrity talk show host took Shaina’s hands. His eyes widened slightly then narrowed, the dazzle of the twenty-five carats in her Harry Winston bracelets reflecting in his calculating gaze. When offered one piece from his New York Collection to borrow tonight, she’d smiled at me and then asked if she could have five instead, stacking them on her arm the way I did my silver and leather, though with hers you could probably buy a nice house.
He kissed the air on either side of Shaina’s face in that fake Hollywood way I hated. “Thank you for agreeing to the interview.” He smiled blindingly white teeth contrasting an overly tanned face.
“It’s my pleasure,” she demurred peering at him through her long lashes in a way I’d seen her practice with Vampira.
Besille’s gaze slid to me. “Jinkins,” he acknowledged offhandedly.
I dipped my chin. I wanted to deck the smarmy bastard. I’d seen him try to look down the front of Shaina’s dress as she’d taken her seat. One good thing about the design, the top was a halter giving that wanker only a hint of what my baby had up top, keeping those delicious creamy curves of hers hidden.
Thank you, Lacey.
The back was a problem. She was completely exposed. I laid my hand on her nape, touching the warm skin and fingering the one curl that wasn’t piled high on top of her head. I traced the seductive strand then followed her spine all the way down to the slope of her ass.
My dick liked the sensation. My imagination rapidly flipped through a couple of interesting things I wanted to try…now.
I realized Besille an
d Shaina were both watching me.
I lifted my sunglasses, resting them on top of my head. “Did I miss something?” I put more than a little Southside ’tude into the question.
“Yes,” Besille replied, though I noticed he flinched beneath the slam of my disdainful gaze.
Good. Clue in and stop salivating over my woman. I’m sitting right here, douche.
“I asked if you thought Shaina getting this part had anything to do with her relationship with you?”
“Not really, motherfucker.” My hand fisted on her lower back. I felt her tension, too. I reigned in my temper, but only for her. “She got the role because she’s a fuckin’ great actress, and a helluva a singer. Two things even someone as oblivious as you should be able to appreciate.”
Besille sucked in a sharp breath, but I talked over it. “Enjoy the film, dickweed. This interview’s over.” I stood and took her hand. “C’mon darlin’.”
“Wait, Shaina. One more question.” The douche pickle didn’t know when to quit. He touched her hand and I admit it, I growled.
Hey, I am who I am. This being a supportive boyfriend when your girlfriend’s a sexy movie star has a very steep learning curve.
“Don’t you want to address the rumors that say Jinkins is just hanging on and using you to further his career?”
“Warren and I are a team.” Her pretty eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. “I love him. He loves me. We help each other. That’s the way love works, but then again I guess that concept would probably baffle a narcissistic aggrandizing psyche like yours.” I didn’t know what the hell all that meant, but I grinned as her chin lifted, her regal bearing saying as effectively as her big words that he was beneath her and had been dismissed.
Never should have underestimated her. My Sweetness had one sharp bite.
Besille’s cheeks flushed registering the burn.
The look on his face was that priceless. I had to laugh, but held it in.
I fuckin’ loved her.
“People needed to know that depression was real. It was nothing to be ashamed of. The shame would be in not doing anything about it. The shame would be in not turning around what we’d endured and using our experience to help others like Cass.”
–Shaina Bentley
If you are feeling sad or blue, talk to someone. You are not alone. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You matter. Open your heart. Talk to a friend. Share your story. Don’t keep it bottled up inside.
FROM THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH:
What Is Depression?
Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad. But these feelings are usually short-lived and pass within a couple of days. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you. Depression is a common but serious illness.
Many people with a depressive illness never seek treatment. But the majority, even those with the most severe depression, can get better with treatment. Medications, psychotherapies, and other methods can effectively treat people with depression.
There are several forms of depressive disorders.
Major depression—severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes.
Persistent depressive disorder—depressed mood that lasts for at least 2 years. A person diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder may have episodes of major depression along with periods of less severe symptoms, but symptoms must last for 2 years.
Some forms of depression are slightly different, or they may develop under unique circumstances. They include:
Psychotic depression, which occurs when a person has severe depression plus some form of psychosis, such as having disturbing false beliefs or a break with reality (delusions), or hearing or seeing upsetting things that others cannot hear or see (hallucinations).
Postpartum depression, which is much more serious than the “baby blues” that many women experience after giving birth, when hormonal and physical changes and the new responsibility of caring for a newborn can be overwhelming. It is estimated that 10 to 15 percent of women experience postpartum depression after giving birth.
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is characterized by the onset of depression during the winter months, when there is less natural sunlight. The depression generally lifts during spring and summer. SAD may be effectively treated with light therapy, but nearly half of those with SAD do not get better with light therapy alone. Antidepressant medication and psychotherapy can reduce SAD symptoms, either alone or in combination with light therapy.
Bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness, is not as common as major depression or persistent depressive disorder. Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes—from extreme highs (e.g., mania) to extreme lows (e.g., depression).
Causes
Most likely, depression is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.
Depressive illnesses are disorders of the brain. Brain-imaging technologies, such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), have shown that the brains of people who have depression look different than those of people without depression. The parts of the brain involved in mood, thinking, sleep, appetite, and behavior appear different. But these images do not reveal why the depression has occurred. They also cannot be used to diagnose depression.
Some types of depression tend to run in families. However, depression can occur in people without family histories of depression too. Scientists are studying certain genes that may make some people more prone to depression. Some genetics research indicates that risk for depression results from the influence of several genes acting together with environmental or other factors. In addition, trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, or any stressful situation may trigger a depressive episode. Other depressive episodes may occur with or without an obvious trigger.
Signs & Symptoms
“It was really hard to get out of bed in the morning. I just wanted to hide under the covers and not talk to anyone. I didn’t feel much like eating and I lost a lot of weight. Nothing seemed fun anymore. I was tired all the time, and I wasn’t sleeping well at night. But I knew I had to keep going because I’ve got kids and a job. It just felt so impossible, like nothing was going to change or get better.”
People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. The severity, frequency, and duration of symptoms vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness.
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS INCLUDE:
– Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
– Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
– Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
– Irritability, restlessness
– Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
– Fatigue and decreased energy
– Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
– Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
– Overeating, or appetite loss
– Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
– Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.
Who Is At Risk?
Major depressive disorder is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States. Each year about 6.7% of U.S adults experience major depressive disorder. Women are 70 % more likely than men to experience depression during their lifetime. Non-Hispanic blacks are 40% less likely than non-Hispanic whites to experience depression during their lifetime. The average age of onset is 32 years old. Additionally, 3.3% of 13 to 18 year olds have experienced a seriously debilitating depressive disorder.
Diagnosis
“I started missing days from work, and a friend noticed that something wasn’t right. She talked to me about
the time she had been really depressed and had gotten help from her doctor.”
Depression, even the most severe cases, can be effectively treated. The earlier that treatment can begin, the more effective it is.
The first step to getting appropriate treatment is to visit a doctor or mental health specialist. Certain medications, and some medical conditions such as viruses or a thyroid disorder, can cause the same symptoms as depression. A doctor can rule out these possibilities by doing a physical exam, interview, and lab tests. If the doctor can find no medical condition that may be causing the depression, the next step is a psychological evaluation.
The doctor may refer you to a mental health professional, who should discuss with you any family history of depression or other mental disorder, and get a complete history of your symptoms. You should discuss when your symptoms started, how long they have lasted, how severe they are, and whether they have occurred before and if so, how they were treated. The mental health professional may also ask if you are using alcohol or drugs, and if you are thinking about death or suicide.
Other illnesses may come on before depression, cause it, or be a consequence of it. But depression and other illnesses interact differently in different people. In any case, co-occurring illnesses need to be diagnosed and treated.
Anxiety disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder, often accompany depression. PTSD can occur after a person experiences a terrifying event or ordeal, such as a violent assault, a natural disaster, an accident, terrorism or military combat. People experiencing PTSD are especially prone to having co-existing depression.
The Complete Tempest World Box Set Page 102