"I need to show you something.” I disentangled myself from him and walked naked across the room. Picking up my jeans where they'd been tossed into the corner, I pulled the letter out and returned to the bed, holding it out. “From my father."
Emmanuel unfolded and read.
When his gaze returned to mine, his eyes were warm but troubled. "I don't know, Darling. The idea that you can save the universe…from what?"
"Zombies." I sat on the bed next to him, my naked feet dangling above the floor.
He shook his head. "That just doesn't make any sense."
"Not with the things that you believe, but Emmanuel—" I paused, pulling my lip between my teeth, staring down at my feet. "What if your beliefs are wrong?"
He stiffened. "That is not something you should say to the son of a god, Darling." His voice held a dangerous edge.
I looked up at him, eyes sharp. "You say you want to spend forever with me. Must I share all of your beliefs?"
"Why wouldn't you?" He looked genuinely confused. “It is God's will." He laid his hand on my bare thigh, stroking my skin.
"But then why do I exist?"
"So that we can be happy together. So that I won't be alone anymore."
So it’s all about him, I guess.
"I can't just be happy with you." I touched the letter. "I need to investigate this.”
“Come on, Darling.” He slid his arm around my waist. "We have an incredible chance at happiness. Don't turn away from that.”
"If we have forever then why can't I go back and see if there are more letters from my father? If Tyronios knows more about my family. About how I might help?" I said.
Emmanuel sighed and brushed a kiss across my hair. "I want you to be happy. I want you to realize you are mine.”
I cupped his cheek. “Help me learn to travel between the dimensions. Let me go back and explore this."
"You know how the warlocks feel about me?" he said.
"They don't know you."
"You will weaken without me."
"I will have Dimitri."
"You say that to me like it's a good thing." His jaw tightened.
"I will be safe."
He broadened the distance between us but covered my hand with his.
“I don’t want you gaining power from anyone but me.” Energy sparked around us. What would happen if I ever made him truly angry?
I dropped my gaze to his throat. “I don't think I'm meant for just one being."
"You are meant for me," he said. "The will of a god is not something to play with, Darling."
"But you'll help me." I forced my eyes up. If this relationship had a chance, I couldn’t be afraid of him.
His eyes softened. “I can refuse you nothing."
I let out a slow sigh. “Thank you.”
“You will come back to me,” Emmanuel warned. “And you will realize you are mine. And mine alone.”
Or else what?
Chapter Six
We started practicing dimension hopping the next day. The horses were tacked up and waiting for us. "It will be easiest for you to learn where you've passed through before,” Emmanuel said as he patted Diamond’s neck. The horse nickered and wrapped his head around Emmanuel in a horsey hug. It was adorable. “Once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll be able to travel anywhere.”
“Anywhere?” I wore another one of Emmanuel’s shirts tucked into my jeans.
Emmanuel’s eyes met mine, his expression turning serious. “To a degree, yes. You can go to almost any world.”
“What do you mean?” I stepped closer.
Emmanuel shook his head. “One thing at a time. Let’s head to the stream—where we entered this world.” He helped me mount Walamito. She snorted with anticipation. "You can guide her with your thoughts," Emmanuel said. "It will be good practice for you. The key—" he paused in his teachings as he mounted Diamond, and I was distracted by his movements.
He looked good on a horse. His long legs wrapped around the gelding—shoulders back, one hand relaxed on the reins, the other resting on his muscled thigh. Emmanuel’s dark hair fluttered in the wind, and his white shirt’s open collar exposed the cleft between his collarbones. I wanted to lick that spot.
But did I love him?
"The key is control of your chi."
“Huh?” I forced my eyes to focus on his—he smiled, and raised one brow.
“Your chi,” he said again, slowly, teasing me. He knows I was thinking about licking him. But he doesn’t know I’m not sure if I love him.
How can he know his love for me is real? We hardly know each other.
“The vampires call it their influence.” Emmanuel dropped his voice, making it sound all serious, and then grinned. “They like that kind of grandiose talk."
Pushing away my questions about our relationship and future, I focused on his words. “I think I know what you’re talking about. I've been thinking of it as my power, or my center."
"Yes." He clucked his tongue, moving Diamond forward. My horse followed, and we rode side by side. "But what you’re missing with that definition is the connection to the rest of the world. It is not your power alone—it is the power of the universe, and how much you can harness. When we make love—when I'm inside you—” A shiver ran over me at his words, and just like that, my mind was back in the bedroom. Pay attention! “You pull chi from me. And I pull it from the world around us."
"Can I learn to do that? Take power from the world?” Wouldn’t that make life easier… and less fun.
He shook his head. "No, you'll never be able to take from the trees. You need sex, Darling, for the transfer. At minimum a kiss. You can manipulate the chi under your control. Matter never disappears; it just changes shape, right?"
"We all learn that in science class."
Emmanuel chuckled, a deep masculine sound. "I never had science class.” His gaze caught mine. He is not a man. Not just a man. “Chi is universal. Who controls it depends on a lot of factors. But it is always there. I can draw it from anywhere, and you can draw it from anyone you have physical contact with. Practice connecting with Walamito."
I relaxed my mind and felt the edges of my “chi”—of the energy around me. It throbbed with leashed power. “That’s it,” Emmanuel said, his voice low. “Now, look for Walamito’s.”
The mare’s energy moved in time with her, each hoof fall making it undulate. How did I communicate? It wasn't like a man or woman, where I could just lock onto her eyes and my instincts would take over.
I felt around the edges. “Imagine you’re petting her,” Emmanuel said. I stroked the horse’s energy with my own, and she whinnied—as if I’d shown her a sugar cube. It was a yes please sound. An invitation.
I shifted my chi, concentrating it on my left side, and Walamito moved with it. I focused back to a center line next to Diamond, and she fell into place. Excitement welled in me at my success, and Walamito picked up her pace, mistaking my triumph with a command for speed.
Diamond felt the energy as well and broke into a trot. "You want to run?" Emmanuel asked. Walamito snorted, and I felt that she did. And because she did, I also wanted it. Her chi affected me too. "Grab some mane.”
I wrapped my fingers into the hair at Walamito's withers. Diamond took off, and we followed. The horse's hooves pounded against the soft ground. I leaned forward, my chi following the horse’s rhythm.
She exuded pure joy. The rich scent of decaying leaves, of delicious grasses and sunshine, filled my senses. Life was beautiful.
Diamond slowed, and Walamito trotted up next to him. I patted her neck. "What a good girl.” She shook her head, steam pluming from her nose. Sweat stained the mare’s neck. My cheeks hurt from smiling.
Emmanuel laughed. "You've never galloped before." I shook my head. "Well, you're a natural."
I rubbed Walamito again. "She showed me how.”
We reached the stream, and the horses drank before we released them into the clearing. "Come.” Emmanuel too
k my hand. "We must prepare you for your first dimensional jump. You'll need a lot of power."
I squeezed his hand and looked over at the tree we'd spent almost an entire day making love against. It still bore my finger marks.
"After last night, you must be feeling pretty strong," Emmanuel said.
"Yes," I agreed.
"So, perhaps just a couple of kisses," he said as he pulled me against him.
I frowned. He laughed. "Always so hungry, Darling."
I shrugged and smiled up at him. "I thought you liked that about me."
"Oh, I do." He cupped my face and gently kissed me. I reached up onto my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling his strong shoulders, his broad chest, the slight stubble around his lips.
Behind my closed eyelids, colors danced, the energy he pulled from the forest a kaleidoscope of shapes swirling into him and passing to me. It was stunning. I sighed against him, pressing my body into his, reveling in the feel of him. Was I crazy for walking away? For letting him out of my sight for even one moment? Was this love or infatuation?
His hands roamed down, cupping my ass and pulling me tight against him. I felt his hard length behind his jeans. "Oh, Darling," he breathed against my mouth. "I can't resist you."
"Don't," I begged.
He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, our lips still locked, our tongues tangled, power pouring between us as he lowered me to the ground. The earth beneath me was still cool from the night. The scent of moist soil mingled with the smell of honey that always surrounded Emmanuel.
He didn't toy with me this time. We rocked together, his back arched, knees in the dirt, my legs wrapped around him. The forest swayed, following our motion.
I didn't ever want it to stop—for our connection to break. The idea of leaving him brought tears to my eyes. Emmanuel raised his gaze, his eyes hooded and dark. He leaned forward and his lips covered mine as the pace increased, pushing my bare back into the dirt. Twigs pinched at my skin, but the pain just heightened the pleasure. His hands held my head, twined into my hair, warm against my scalp.
There was nowhere for the energy to go; it built inside, and he held me steady and kept going, pushing more into me, filling me with his chi. He gave me everything before finally releasing himself and collapsing forward, his breath in my ear, his heart mine.
I kissed his cheek, his neck, holding him tighter, afraid to ever let him go, but knowing I had to. I’ll be back. I swear, I’ll come back.
I rolled up my pant legs before following Emmanuel into the swiftly moving stream. My feet became almost instantly numb and goosebumps rushed over my skin. "Brr," I shivered.
“Warm yourself,” Emmanuel said.
"What do you mean?"
He stopped in the middle of the stream and turned to me. He’d rolled his jeans to mid-calf and put his shirt back on…unfortunately. Could I convince him to always be naked? "You can use your chi." To keep you always naked? No, that’s not what we’re talking about. My frozen feet. Right, make myself warm. But how?
Dimitri warmed me in the cold shower—he'd used his influence to create heat. A pang of regret tightened my chest. Dimitri.
I cleared my throat, pushing the errant thoughts away. “Teach me how to warm myself.”
Emmanuel smiled, his fingers dipping into the waistband of my jeans and pulling me close. He leaned down, his mouth at my ear. Heat infused me. He did that masculine chuckle again, and my toes curled. “Close your eyes.” I did as he asked. “See your chi?” I nodded, his lips brushing my temple, making it hard to concentrate. But I could see the illumination of my energy, burning brighter than it ever had before. Being with Emmanuel was good for me.
“Now.” His fingers trailed up my bare arm, catching my breath. “Imagine making your feet hot.”
“You’re making me hot,” I whispered then bit my lip. I did not mean to say that out loud.
He smiled against my neck, a hand at my low back pressing me close. I took a deep breath. “Move your chi,” he said against my skin. I visualized the energy surrounding my feet thickening and turning red with heat. Heat, heat, heat, heat…
The numbness receded, replaced by warmth, as if I’d stepped into a bath rather than a rushing mountain stream. “Well done.” Emmanuel nipped my neck before stepping back.
"You can see my chi? I mean, you can tell what I’m doing with it?” I asked.
"Yeah." Emmanuel gave me a half smile, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "I'm the son of a god, Darling. I can see a lot more than chi."
"Like what?" I asked.
He shook his head. “We can talk about my incredible abilities later.” He gave me a teasing smile. “First, let’s get you hopping between dimensions."
This was all so freaking crazy.
He took my hands. “Close your eyes again.”
With my eyes closed it was easier to see the energy fields all around us. "Watch me.” His voice was low and intimate. Emmanuel’s chi, a swirl of color—like the rainbow on an oil slick—began to form into a point.
It spun around itself, turning into a thin blade, flashing silver. I could feel it gathering, as if I was being pulled toward it. Some of my own chi—velvet red mist—whirled up with it. "I'm going to take you to one of my favorite places."
At the tip of the blade, a whirlpool formed—the colors behind my closed lids swirling—we were being pulled into it. The whirlpool speed increased, its circumference spreading. “How are you doing that?” I asked.
"I just am. The same way you just warmed your feet."
The same way I just stopped that man and his zombie child back in Crescent City.
The sucking sensation prickled over my body. "Let me take you," Emmanuel whispered. I relaxed, allowing my energy to follow his… the velvet warmth combined with the rainbow brilliance and that song—the vibration of the universe played through me, turning me into nothing and everything all at once.
A vacuum—a deafening silence—and then my body was back. Emmanuel squeezed my hands. I blinked my eyes open. We were standing in a stream, but there was no forest.
Yellow green grasses waved across pasture under a deep blue sky. Three cows stood in the shade of a large tree, chewing and watching us. Their tails flicked rhythmically at flies. "Amazing," I breathed out.
"Think you can get us back?"
My eyes jumped to Emmanuel’s. “How do you know where you're going?"
Emmanuel grinned, one of his hands releasing mine to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear then linger on my jaw. His aura shimmered around him. “You just do, Darling.” His smile softened. “I won't let you take us somewhere we don't want to go." I nodded. Trusting him. “Close your eyes.” I did as he asked, taking in a deep breath. "Now feel for that space."
"The vacuum."
"Yes, the silence.” He laced our fingers again. I tried to feel with my chi—I could see the other sources of energy, sense the texture of the water’s power, the strength of Emmanuel’s. “Form your chi into a point.”
I shifted my energy, the way I moved it around my feet, only now I sharpened it, twisting it from an amorphous blob into a sharp object. “Good, good.” Emmanuel’s thumb stroked my hand. “Put all your awareness into the point.” My brow furrowed with concentration as I tried to do as he asked. “Breathe,” Emmanuel reminded me. I huffed out a laugh.
“This is hard,” I said, shaking out my shoulders, trying to relax.
“You’re doing great.”
I took a few breaths and refocused on my point of chi, letting it sway and bob, getting a sense of what different areas felt like. The world was full of energies I couldn't see but sensed. A tickle of that sensation—that nothingness—but then it was gone. I moved the point back, just a little at a time, until I found it again. "I think I’ve got it,” I said, excitement building, disturbing my energy.
“Breathe,” Emmanuel reminded me again. “Keep your concentration.”
I took another deep breath and released it sl
owly, just sitting with that empty sensation. Running my energy back and forth against it, getting used to the feel of it. "Good, now begin to drill into it. Use the emptiness as an anchor."
Suuurrreee…then I’ll use my toes as wings.
I imagined my energy spinning, saw it in my mind, felt it in my bones. "Slow down," Emmanuel said. "Once we get into the void, you'll have to pick your destination."
"How?" I asked, the spinning pulling us through now, the song rising up.
"Feel for it. Our energy is all over that spot. Follow the residue of our chi."
Then we were in the vacuum.
Bodiless, mindless—an all knowing, unknowable thing. I moved without trying, without conscious thought. Snapping back into my body, I fell forward. Emmanuel caught me, my face pressing against his chest. "You did it," he said.
My lungs struggled for a moment—my mind tripped over itself. What the what in the what?
My hunger was all I knew. My body pulsed with desire. "I need you,” I croaked. Emmanuel’s lips found mine. His chi poured into me, refilling me. "More," I begged.
He picked me up and carried me out of the water. "You must build up strength before you try that again," he said.
I tried to use my energy to move him faster, to sate my need at my pace. "You are weakened and trying that," he said with a roll of his eyes, laying me on the soft earth. "Will you ever learn?"
"Please," I begged.
“Hmmm,” he hummed against my neck. “I love it when you beg.”
I brought a hand to his hair, pulling his mouth to mine. He kissed me, leaving me dizzy and starving. “You'll get what you need,” he promised, hovering above me, his weight on his elbows, hair falling around his face. “When I'm ready to give it to you.” He dipped his head to my neck. “Let me enjoy this, would you?” I could feel him smiling against my skin as he pushed up my shirt. "Feeding you is quickly becoming the most favorite part of my whole existence. And since you plan on leaving me soon, I'm going to enjoy it while I can."
And enjoy it he did.
Dark Secret Page 6