Once I shouted out something like, “Mom! There’s a woman in my closet!”
My mother investigated and then replied, “Just shut the closet door!” And that was the end of the conversation.
The following year, my mother moved us from Nevada to her home state of California. The good news is that the woman in the closet did not come with us. I never saw that apparition again. Mother also remarried a man who was an active member of the Latter-day Saints Church (LDS), also known as the Mormon church, and naturally we became an LDS family. Once my mother remarried, life seemed pretty normal for her, my new stepfather and me. I was still highly energetic, now a five-year-old, and I did not think much about it when the following happened.
One day I was playing and doing what normal five-year-olds do, when I heard two men talking somewhere in my house. They were having a full-on conversation with each other, and I went to investigate out of curiosity. I looked all over, but I could not find them. I could still hear the conversation quite clearly, however. No worries; I just went back to my playtime. I never heard these two men converse again, but off and on I would hear voices in or around the house, or feel as though I were being pulled into conversation with someone whom I could not physically see. This would take over my reality from time to time, so much so that my mother ended up taking me to the doctor to have my hearing tested. I had become habitually unresponsive to her when she would try to talk to me or get my attention. She thought I had a hearing problem, but the doctor said I was fine. Some of this was probably my not listening to her. But the other side of it—and it was something I could not explain at that age—involved my strong connection to the spirit world, which did absorb my attention.
At age seven, I was playing with some neighborhood friends in my bedroom. We all attended the LDS church together. I have no idea what prompted me to do this, but I told my friends something like, “Do you want to see me call a ghost into the room?” We all just laughed and squealed, as little girls do. No one said no, so I just called it in. “Come here, ghost! Come here, ghost!”
We all watched as my school papers tacked up on my bedroom wall began to flutter up and down as what seemed like a wind entered the room. Surprisingly, none of us were scared when this happened. The papers stopped fluttering within just a few seconds, and we returned to our playtime as if it were nothing. Only it was not just nothing. I was not playfully inviting Casper the Friendly Ghost to come over for a visit. I was inviting demons into my life in sheer ignorance.
As time progressed, heading into my teen years I was dabbling more intentionally in some occult activities. For example, I had tried to use a Ouija board to obtain information about the future. A Ouija board is typically used in séances and involves a board printed with letters, numbers and other signs, to which a movable planchette points in response to your questions. My use of the Ouija board did turn into a séance when a spirit named itself through the board, pretending to be a long-dead relative of mine. This really was not a long-dead relative, but a familiar spirit, which the Bible describes as a demon (see Leviticus 19:31; 20:6). It was also the last time I did any conjuring through this method, as it had a dark presence attached to it.
On other occasions, my friends and I would attempt various incantations to conjure specific spirits, levitate and induce trances. These incantations were spells many teenagers do as a form of entertainment, such as the traditional “Bloody Mary” spell or the recently popularized “Charlie Charlie” spell. These incantations did work on occasion, which meant we were successfully conjuring spirits to perform magic. In addition, I was venturing out on my own into astrology, ESP, the paranormal and psychic powers. I never considered these activities wrong, because I did not do these things to try to harm anyone.
The heavier stuff came in when I began participating in rituals for the dead at the LDS temple on a regular basis. These rituals are not perverse or scary, but are believed to secure eternal benefits for the deceased as you stand in proxy for specific persons and perform the various rites. These rituals typically invoke the spirits of ten to twenty deceased persons at each temple visit and require that you be baptized in water for each one. Some participants would say they could see the spirits of the dead in the temple facilities, but I never saw such apparitions. The ritual is then complete once the LDS elders lay their hands on you to impart their version of the Holy Spirit upon you. These rituals did carry and release a spiritual presence upon me, but now, on this side of the cross, I can certainly distinguish that it was a false presence.
By the time I turned sixteen I was rebelling at home in reaction to family issues, and I became conscious of a tangible darkness around me. What I mean by this is that I was aware of a canopy or cloud of darkness around my person, and I could not see or feel any hope for my future. For example, I was in honors classes but no longer cared about excelling. I chose unstable friends over stable ones. I also put myself in dangerous situations several times because, at the time, I felt no personal worth. I was also experiencing an increase in dark spiritual encounters, usually at night. I would hear eerie voices outside my bedroom window—the kinds of voices that left an instability in your mind once you heard them. And then my bed would sometimes shake on its own while I slept. This was absolutely terrifying and would jolt me out of sleep. I could also sense the coming and going of dark spirits, and I was bottoming out emotionally. Jesus gave warning not to let darkness overtake us, because those in darkness cannot see where they are going (see John 12:35). He then said, “I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness” (John 12:46 NKJV). The word abide in this passage means to live and dwell in darkness. Darkness, then, is a place and a state of being, not just a metaphor. And darkness, in my situation, had become a perceptible presence.
Through the fervent prayers of relatives, neighbors and some high-school acquaintances, not only did I survive this period of my life, but I was also introduced to Jesus Christ. I gladly surrendered my life to Jesus as a freshman in college, and the Light of the world truly began to destroy the darkness in my world. The stronghold of Mormonism came off me instantly, I did away with all occult practices, and I learned how to let go of wrong friendships. I was also baptized in the Holy Spirit, which is an infilling of God’s power (see Acts 1:8). I could genuinely feel God’s light working inside me instead of that foul darkness. I had godly hope and could see with clarity for the first time.
As a new Christian, I did undergo a very serious deliverance from spiritual bondage in direct connection to my occult past. It happened innocently enough during a weekly house prayer meeting, after one woman in attendance expressed that she saw a spirit of sorcery standing over me. When she said that, something picked me up and threw me against the wall. Next, I went into a grand mal demonic manifestation, mine being one of the worst in comparison to those I have personally witnessed in all my days of ministry. I wrote about this incident in more detail in my book The Intercessors Handbook (Chosen, 2016).
What happened to me at this prayer meeting was challenging to my pastor and to others in my church. They believed that Christians could not manifest demonically if they truly had the Holy Spirit. (I discuss this very issue in more detail in the appendix that I have included at the end, “Can a Christian Be Demon Possessed?”) I did have the Holy Spirit, but I still manifested demonically since those areas of occultism had to be firmly addressed and dealt with. The good news is, I found my spiritual authority in Christ during that season and learned to walk out my freedom.
After my deliverance, the Holy Spirit gave me a very powerful gift. It is called the gift of discerning of spirits, and you can see it listed with other supernatural gifts in 1 Corinthians 12:8–10. This is a gift that allows you to see and sense the truth about the spiritual realm. It reveals to you what spirit, whether good or evil, is motivating people, opportunities, conflicts, supernatural experiences and a whole lot more. It is a gift that came to me without a set of instructions, bu
t with a clear invitation to listen to the Teacher, the Holy Spirit, day by day and moment by moment in order to experience this gift’s truths and benefits. And it is this gift that I want to introduce to you throughout this book in ways you may have never considered before.
Understand that this gift from the Holy Spirit is intended for “the good of all” (1 Corinthians 12:7 MOUNCE). The word good in this verse is the Greek word sympherō, which means to bring together (as in a symphony) and to be profitable, beneficial and advantageous.1 And it is true. This gift gives you a tremendous advantage as a believer in Christ. It allows you to see what is in the dark so you will not stay in the dark. It supernaturally puts you in the know and gives you the upper hand in difficult circumstances. It gives you the right information so you know how to pray, prophesy and battle intelligently.
Unfortunately, this gift has been highly misunderstood in its operation. Those who have it often do not know they have it, and they have mislabeled themselves as crazy. Others have misused this gift and gone on to harm people instead of building them up. The Holy Spirit wants to open our eyes and shift our understanding. He wants to activate this gift powerfully, but properly, in the Body of Christ. I have written this book to help you understand and operate in this gift. By the time you are finished reading it, you will become aware of and equipped for seeing the supernatural, so that you can effectively sense, discern and battle in the spiritual realm.
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The Gift of Discerning of Spirits
Midway through my second year of college, I was invited to serve on a campus ministry leadership team. I was thrilled to be asked and immediately said yes. A few months had flown by when the campus ministry director called an emergency leadership team meeting at his home to discuss a difficult matter. He said, “We have to pray for Easton (not his real name), and we have to pray now!” He explained that Easton was being tormented by a demon almost every night.
Easton, a leader just like me, went on to describe the hair-raising details of each incident. Incidentally, Easton attended a local congregation and had plans to attend seminary at a popular Christian university. While renting a room at the campus ministry director’s home, he found himself being spiritually attacked in the night. What added to his dilemma was that Easton came from a theological paradigm in which people did not believe in the supernatural, or at least did not experience it personally. Being forced to set his paradigms aside, he was now in a genuine spiritual battle of eerie proportions. In short, he described a giant black snake that would wake him up in the middle of the night and threaten his life over and over.
As Easton shared his story, I began feeling as though I were being pulled to the back of the house. I recognize now that the One pulling me was the Holy Spirit, but back then I only knew it was an unusually strong feeling. I interrupted Easton and asked if I could go look in his room. He agreed, but the campus ministry director wanted to test me in what I was sensing. He said with enthusiasm, “Sure! Go ahead! But I’m not telling you which room is his.”
Without mistake, I walked straight into Easton’s room and then into his closet. I normally would not go into someone’s closet without permission, but in this situation it seemed appropriate, and the outcome proved it was true. As I reached toward the back of his closet, I discovered his personal collection of heavy metal band LPs tucked neatly away under some clothing. I handed the LPs to Easton and said, “I think I found the source of your problem!”
Easton responded by breaking each record into pieces, realizing that he had cohabitated with compromising music that clearly hosted both sexual and occult themes. He repented of his sin, and that spirit never came back.
What took place in Easton’s life that day all began with the gift of discerning of spirits being in operation. Because of this, he was freed from a tormenting demon. I still did not know yet that this gift existed. I did know enough, however, to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and do what Jesus did: “Jesus went around doing good. He healed all who were under the devil’s power” (Acts 10:38 NIRV).
This story also presents us with several questions, namely, “How could secular LPs sitting in a closet be the cause of a demonic attack?” And, “Is this something that could happen to me?” This is where we need to expand our paradigms to include and not exclude the spiritual. We do not live in just a natural realm; we also live in and are affected by the spiritual realm. Spiritual laws that the Bible defines for us govern both realms. Honoring God’s Word creates conditions in which we experience natural and spiritual blessings. On the other hand, violating God’s Word nullifies His promises to us, including His promise to protect us from harm and torment (see Deuteronomy 28; Romans 2:6–8).
Easton had violated God’s clear word about sexual impurity and false religion through his choices in music. The apostle Paul commands us, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,” and he tells us to “flee from idolatry” (Ephesians 5:3; 1 Corinthians 10:14). Ignorance or dismissiveness about the spiritual does not absolve us of consequences, either. When we violate God’s holiness, it is like leaving the front door to your house unlocked. A thief might not discover it immediately, but eventually the thief comes to your neighborhood, looking for opportunity. And when he finds an unlocked door, he will enter in and try to steal, kill or destroy (see John 10:10). Fortunately for Easton, his situation was short-lived because the gift of discerning of spirits was in operation.
The Gift Explained
A common description for the gift of discerning of spirits is that it is a supernatural ability from the Holy Spirit to distinguish between spirits—divine, demonic and human. It also enables us to discern the hidden motives of the heart. Since this gift embraces the “hard to explain” and the “intangibles” of the spiritual realm, it has historically been difficult to teach since we have lacked adequate language to explain it properly.
The apostle Paul shared a similar struggle in discussing visions from the Lord, specifically visions of the third heaven and paradise. He referred to both places as “inexpressible” (see 2 Corinthians 12:1–4). I believe this was the apostle John’s challenge, too, as he attempted to detail the visions and revelation of the end times in the book of Revelation. If John had been able to use clearer terms with which to express the ideas, we probably would understand this book more fully, rather than having continual arguments over what in heaven and on earth he was pointing to. This is the same challenge we face in describing the workings of the gift of discerning of spirits. We are still engineering vocabulary to explain the formerly “inexpressible” aspects of the spiritual realm. I humbly pray and believe that this book will be a forerunner in this regard by giving words to your experiences, thus enabling you to walk out the fullness of this gift.
There are numerous examples of the gift of discerning of spirits in both the Old and New Testaments. Remember, this gift sees past the natural realm to reveal the spiritual realm, causing us to know what is really behind our circumstances and how to respond. For example, the prophet Elisha prayed an unusual prayer for his servant during a time of battle: “O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see” (2 Kings 6:17 ESV). Elisha was not referring to his servant’s physical eyes, but actually to his spiritual ones. Elisha and his servant had been targeted for certain death by an enemy army. The servant had become terrified with that strangling fear that manifests when you know the worst is about to happen. Elisha could see into the spiritual realm, which is the gift of discerning of spirits in operation, and he saw the true spiritual conditions of the matter. The truth was that a fierce army of warlike angels had jam-packed the spiritual horizons, ready to fight on their behalf. Their physical enemies were completely outnumbered, which dispelled all thoughts of death and execution. This is what Elisha wanted his servant to see, and God answered the prophet’s prayer.
We also see how this gift operated in other lives in the Old Testament. We see it in the life of Lot, when he encountered the two angels God sent to rescu
e him. We see it in the life of Samuel, when he heard the audible voice of God—something that was rare in those days. It operated in the lives of Saul’s attendants, who saw the evil spirit that was tormenting him (see Genesis 19; 1 Samuel 3:1, 4; 16:15).
In the New Testament, Jesus not only cast demon spirits out of their helpless victims; He also could identify them by their kind—unclean spirits, spirits of infirmity, deaf and mute spirits, etc. This, too, was the gift of discerning of spirits in operation. You cannot identify a spirit unless the Holy Spirit reveals it to you. Later, the apostle Paul did the same thing by identifying a spirit of divination that had possessed a young female fortune-teller in Ephesus, more specifically a python spirit.1 He cast the spirit out of her, which caused the entire city to go into an uproar (see Acts 16:16–22). Finally, the apostle Peter knew by the gift of discerning of spirits that a husband and wife by the names of Ananias and Sapphira had brought him a deceptive offering. They had pretended to sell their land at a certain price, but had secretly held back a portion of the proceeds for themselves. He addressed their sin openly, but unfortunately, their actions brought the judgment of the Lord upon their lives and they both died for it (see Acts 5:1–10).
These examples exhibit the gift of discerning of spirits in operation, but they don’t explain how this gift operates or how to distinguish one spirit from another. We see the end point, but not the process. And it is the process of discerning that is often misunderstood, ignored or rejected. The reason is that this gift is a sensory process before it is an intellectual one. And in our Greek-thinking culture that elevates logic and reason above emotions and the spiritual, we have inadvertently shut down the internal mechanism by which this gift flows.
Seeing the Supernatural Page 2