“That’s not what I asked you.”
“I love Logan as much as I love Ruby.”
“Still not what I asked.”
“Of course, I would! I would never ask Ruby for that—never. Not even in twenty years. Logan is Kate’s son. He always will be.”
“Yes, he is,” Leona agreed. “Kate isn’t coming back. If you intend to stay, you had better prepare yourself for what that means to Logan.”
“It’s sacred ground, Mom.”
“You asked me what I thought, and I told you. It’s not my place to tell you or Ruby how to handle your relationship or Logan. I don’t offer my opinion unless you ask me. If you ask me, expect the truth.” Leona gathered her purse and coat and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Mick asked.
“I have a few errands to run. If you want my advice, Mick, take Logan home. Spend the afternoon there until Ruby gets home.”
“And then?”
“Talk to your girlfriend.”
“And say what?” Mick asked.
“Is there anything you feel you can’t say to her?”
“No.”
“Then tell her the truth,” Leona said. “And, don’t come back here tonight—stay home.”
“I am home!”
Leona chuckled. No, Mick, you aren’t.
***
Ruby wondered why Mick had been markedly quiet all evening. She was surprised to get the message that Mick was headed to her house from Leona’s—surprised and grateful. It was only the house next door, but there were days when all Ruby wanted to do after work was to go home. Mick had made dinner without using the microwave—something the doctor had begun to master. Ruby had learned many things about Mick Mulligan. With each discovery, Ruby grew to love Mick more. A month of shared kisses, touches, long talks, and playful laughter seemed more like a lifetime. Sometimes, the pieces of a puzzle fell together easily. The moment you clicked one into place, you were able to see the entire picture easily. Ruby would have thought that she would be inclined to take a new relationship slowly and cautiously. Life didn’t move at a slow pace. It passed second by second. Tick. Tick. Tick. Every breath was a gift. Slow? The concept of slow seemed laughable to Ruby. She hadn’t chosen to love Mick. Love happened. It was her choice to share her life with Mick. She doubted that her desire to change that decision would ever come to pass. For as long as Mick wanted to be here with her, Ruby would hold the door open.
Logan fought her direction to head to the bathroom and brush his teeth. He sat next to Mick on the sofa and pouted. Ruby had tried three times to direct him upstairs calmly. He refused. What is going on with you two?
“Logan,” Ruby tried again. “You need to get some sleep.”
Logan grabbed onto Mick.
“You’ll see Mick tomorrow.”
Logan challenged his mother with a stern gaze.
Ruby had to force herself not to laugh. She’d witnessed the exact expression on both Mick’s and Leona’s faces a few times. Logan idolized Mick. He adored Leona. He sought to emulate both women in countless ways. “Logan,” she warned him gently.
“No,” he said. “Mick will leave.”
Mick remained at a loss for what to say—to Logan or Ruby.
Ruby gauged Mick’s expression thoughtfully. What on earth is going on with you? She took a deep breath. Mick was due to go back to work the following night. It was time to step over another threshold. Based on the faces of the two people she loved most, Ruby decided it was up to her to cross the threshold for all of them. “Mick will be here when you wake up.”
Logan and Mick looked at Ruby. Logan appeared hopeful. Mick seemed to be—what did Ruby see in Mick’s eyes?
“Mick will be here,” she repeated. She looked at Mick and smiled.
“Will you?” Logan asked.
Mick nodded.
“Promise?” Logan asked.
“I promise,” Mick said.
“Now, you need to get ready for bed,” Ruby told her son. “Say goodnight to Mick.”
“Night,” Logan said with a squeeze to his couch-mate. He hugged Ruby and ran up the stairs.
“Do you want to tell me why you look disappointed?” Ruby asked. She wasn’t sure if she felt worried or hurt by Mick’s reaction.
“What are you talking about?”
“You. Did I misread our relationship?” Ruby asked gently. “If you don’t want to stay—”
“I want to stay,” Mick said. “That’s the problem.”
“If I am supposed to understand this, I’m afraid I don’t,” Ruby confessed.
“Logan.”
“What about Logan?” Ruby asked.
“I don’t want to overstep.”
Ruby shook her head, confused by Mick’s statement.
“With Logan.” Mick set out to explain her fears. “Ruby,” Mick paused and tried to collect her thoughts.
“Mick, does having a child in the equation bother you?”
Ruby looked as though someone had struck her. Mick’s heart sank at the sight. “No.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“I love Logan.”
“I know. That’s why I’m confused.”
Mick didn’t know what to say. Her brain had been warring with itself for hours. She hated leaving Ruby and Logan and sleeping at home. When she examined how she felt, Mick had been forced to admit to herself that she wasn’t sure where home was anymore. She still struggled to cope w.ith the memories of the past that Leona's house sometimes conjured. Ruby’s house beckoned images of a future she hoped to create. Both offered a measure of comfort. It was here with Ruby that Mick felt hopeful. She thought about life more than death. She felt alive. She felt everything. All of her self-imposed barriers crumbled with Ruby.
“Mick, please tell me what you’re thinking. I need to know where I stand.”
Mick directed Ruby to sit beside her. “I want you.”
Ruby remained perplexed.
“Ruby, Logan is your son.” Mick saw Ruby ready to interject and stopped her. “Let me finish. He’s yours and Kate’s.”
Ruby smiled.
“And, I know what that meant to you. I can imagine what it meant to her—I can. He has two moms even if one of them isn’t here.” Mick sucked in a nervous breath. “I don’t know how I would have felt if my mom had decided to bring someone new into my life. I think some part of me would’ve felt like I was betraying my father—to let that person be my father.”
“Mick.” Ruby took hold of both of Mick’s hands. “Loving someone new, letting someone in never takes away from the love you’ve felt before. I know that you know that. You need to accept that. I loved Kate. I still love Kate. I’ve thought about this a lot lately. If you love a person, I think you always love that person no matter if, when or how they leave—no matter if you choose to leave. If you don’t, it was never really love that you felt. Things change. Life changes, and people grow. Sometimes, they grow together and sometimes they grow apart—sometimes people are torn apart against their will. I didn’t expect to lose Kate. I thought she’d be the one telling Logan to brush his teeth and helping him with his spelling words. I expected us to do those things together.”
Mick looked at the hands holding hers and sniffled back a few tears.
“Look at me,” Ruby said. “Look at me. Listen to me. Kate will always be part of Logan. He wouldn’t exist without her. That’s the truth. But, Mick, she can’t be here for him—she can’t be here for me—not the way we’d planned. She made me promise her that when love came along, I would be open to it. I hated her for asking me that. I did. At that moment, I wanted to scream. How dare she ask me to love someone else—ever. She knew that one day I would. And, she hoped that one day someone would love Logan as much as she did. That person is you. At least, I think it is.”
Mick’s tears began to fall.
Ruby wiped the tears from Mick’s cheeks. “Logan loves you. I love you. I see you. I know you. I want you. Logan want
s you in our lives. You can never take Kate away from me or Logan. She’s here.” Ruby pointed to her heart and then her head. “But, you—Mick, you are here. You are every bit as much in my heart and my head as Kate ever was or could hope to be. You are here. I’m here. You aren’t overstepping. You aren’t replacing anyone. You are adding something wonderful to my life, and I hope to Logan’s.”
“I don’t want to be without either of you,” Mick said. “I want to give you both everything.”
Ruby smiled. Mick was continually looking for ways to show her love and affection. “Be here,” Ruby said. “Just be here. Be here when it’s great and when it’s a mess. That is everything. I’m not pushing you to make any kind of commitment—not to move in here or promise me—”
“Ruby, if you told me when I moved home that I would be sitting here about to say this, I would have told you to see a psychiatrist. I’m not in a hurry to push you into anything at all. I don’t want to fall asleep without you. Not when I don’t have to. I don’t want to be here just for the good stuff. I don’t. I want to be here for all of it, even if I do walk across the driveway once in a while for a day. Someday, I’d like to think maybe we could share the driveway—although, having Mom’s is a bonus.”
Ruby laughed. “Built-in parking and babysitting, huh?”
“I’m open to that too.”
“I love you, Mick. I know better than to try to predict the future. To be clear, I want you to be part of whatever that future holds.”
“Me too.”
“Good. Start by following me upstairs, kissing Logan goodnight, and crawling into bed beside me.”
“And, tomorrow?”
“Well, now that you’ve discovered the joy of using pans, you can make breakfast.”
Mick laughed. “I can nuke a mean egg.”
“Meaning it will be green?”
Mick laughed harder. “No.” She sobered. “Logan will know that we are—”
“Logan knows we’re together. He may be six, he isn’t that clueless. That’s partly why he wants you here when he wakes up. He sees how happy I am when you are here. We’ll talk to him this weekend—together.”
“Are you sure?”
“Are you sure you want to try to make this work for the long haul? Because there are days it’ll feel like a very long haul.”
“Positive.”
“Then I’m sure.”
“Ruby?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
Ruby smiled and placed a reverent kiss on Mick’s lips. “I hope you thank me tomorrow.”
Mick accepted Ruby’s hand and followed her up the stairs. I hope there are a lot more tomorrows.
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