by C. Larsen
"Emerson," my dad begins. "There are things in the past, things you don't know about. Things your mother didn't want you to know."
"You mean like how you're not my real dad?" Even as I ask it, I wince at the harshness of my words.
His face pales, his mouth opening then shutting as if he can't find the words. "Emerson," he finally croaks out. "I know we've had our problems, especially after your mom... But I am your father. I've been here for you your entire life. I have cared for you, loved you, raised you. Whatever Madelyn may have said, I am your real father."
"But not biologically," I say, needing to hear him say it. Needing proof that he knew and never told me.
His brown eyes watch me, sadness and regret looking out. "No," he says in little more than a whisper. "Not biologically."
I don't move, don't speak. An emotion I can't quite identify takes over my body, oddly familiar though I can't think of the word right now. I can't think beyond the fact that he knew; he knew I was fathered by someone else and he never said a word. "You lied to me. My entire life. You lied to me."
Then the word comes to me: betrayal. That's what this feeling is.
"Were you lying about Boston too?" I can't help asking. "The weekend mom died. Were you lying about the work conference?"
His face pales even more, completely drained of color.
"Were you with Victoria Price that weekend? Were you cheating on mom?" My voice pleads with him to deny it, to tell me that I'm crazy, that the rumors are ridiculous, but he just stares at me, eyes full of guilt.
Oh my god. Detective Nickels was right. He was cheating on mom. He betrayed her, just like he betrayed me. He was sleeping with Landon's mother. Does Landon know? Does Richard? Richard, the man in my coven—ex-coven—who's the leader of the anti-were' faction. The one who personally spear-headed the initiative to kick me out. The one who, even now, may be attempting to incite the coven against me, against the “were’-loving traitor”.
I can't deal with this right now. I leap up, fury roaring through my chest. Abruptly, I'm terrified of what I might do. "I can't stay here. I have to go." I dart around him towards the door.
"Emerson, wait!" He reaches for my arm, but I jerk away before he can touch me. "Where are you going?" His voice cracks, but I don't care right now. All I know is I need to get out of here, away from him, before I end up hurting yet another person.
"Madelyn's," I shout over my shoulder as I tear down the lawn and throw myself into the passenger seat. Gray takes in my face, then starts the Hummer without a word. As we pull away, I catch a glimpse of my dad frozen in the doorway, eyes full of pain and regret.
Drumming my fingers on my jean clad thighs, I stare blindly out the window watching, the world blur behind the glass, mirroring my thoughts. It's just one big smear of colors and shapes, all jumbled up. I can't grasp onto any one thing long enough to make sense of it.
A warm hand envelops mine, halting my tapping. Gray's free hand lays relaxed on the wheel as he deftly steers us down the windy, forest lined roads leading into Ashwood Creek.
It's a good thing we're in Gray's Hummer, I think I as grab onto the handhold above my seat for the umpteenth time. I clench my teeth to keep them from rattling out of my skull. I forgot how bumpy the dirt roads are back here. I last time I drove out here I was afraid these roads were going to tear the undercarriage right out from my poor BMW.
A pang of loss zings through me at the thought of leaving my beautiful new car behind. But as quickly as the pang comes, it evaporates. Good riddance to that car. It was just another bribe Jack gave me to make up for never actually being home. Is that the real reason he worked so much? I'm not his real daughter, so he couldn't be bothered to spend any time with me?
"It's gonna be fine, Em." Gray says, giving my hand a little squeeze. These are the first words he's spoken since we left Haven Hollow a few hours ago. I'm glad he hasn't asked about what happened with my dad. I can't talk about that just yet. I need time to process, time to work my way through all the lies and deceit before I can even attempt to discuss it with anyone else. The quiet of the car has helped calm the worst of my anger, but it's still there, still simmering, white hot and potentially deadly, like a banked coal, needing only a little oxygen to burst back into flames and consume me.
Gray must sense this, because he decides to focus the conversation on where we're headed rather than what we left behind.
"You'll like everyone. You've already met Vasily. He's good people. Quiet, but a good guy. It's a shame Derek isn't here anymore." He sighs, sounding forlorn for a moment. "You would have liked him."
"What happened to Derek?" I ask, more out of habit than curiosity.
"Derek left," he says, a slight hesitation to his voice.
"Left?"
"Left the pack." He pauses, and I have the feeling there's a lot he's not saying. I don't care enough to press him, so I let it drop.
"Did you tell Madelyn we're coming?"
"Yeah, she'll be at the banquet tonight, along with the rest of her coven."
I nod, turning back toward the window. I wonder if she'll continue my witch training while I'm here. Judging by the fear in her eyes this morning, I'm guessing not. Besides, there’s no reason for her to waste time training me if the pack is just going to have to put me down. But maybe Gray is right; maybe I'll be able to control the werewolf half of me the same way I've learned to control my witch abilities. There's a chance, small though it is.
And if not, then at least I know that if I lose control the pack will take care of me before I hurt anyone. Though that thought scares the hell out of me, it beats the alternative.
"Pretty much the entire town will be at tonight's dinner, all vying for your attention."
"A whole town? Really." My words are flat. I can't muster up any kind of excitement or curiosity. "I can't imagine why they'd all be so anxious to meet me."
"Are you kidding? Elizabeth's long-lost daughter? They'll be lining up in the streets," he says, chuckling.
"Right."
"Come on, Ems. Cheer up. I know it sucks, leaving everyone behind, but it's not forever. Just until you can learn to control your shifts. And who knows, if Caiden can get over his disgust for me and the pack, maybe he'll even come out to visit you."
Rather than cheering me, his words freeze my blood. "Oh my God, Caiden..." I stare in horror. "He doesn't know what I am. He doesn't know I'm a werewolf. What’s he going to say?"
"He loves you. I heard him say so. He'll be fine."
"No. No, he won't. He'll be horrified. You didn't hear him yesterday, the things he said. He hates werewolves. Really hates them. He already blames me for Lydia's death. When he finds out what I am, he's going to hate me. Even more so than he already does," I add bitterly.
Gray’s silent, but a dark feeling begins filling the space between us. A harsh, charred scent, like burnt toast, permeates the air.
"If he really blames you for what happened to that girl, then he's a fucking idiot. And if he does hate werewolves that much, then screw him. You can't change what you are, and you shouldn't want to. You're amazing. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're less than you are."
I gape at him, stunned. There's no trace of sarcasm in his voice, no arrogant smirk on his lips. He’s not flirting or joking. He actually means it.
His words have a warming effect on my hollow insides. Even though the thought of telling Caiden what I am makes me visibly cringe, knowing that there's at least one person who isn't afraid of me or disgusted by me makes me feel marginally better. Gray's large hand still covers mine. I give it a small squeeze, smiling slightly.
“Finally, a smile!”
“What?” I ask blankly
“Just relieved to see you show some kind of emotion. That whole ice-queen act you pulled earlier was pretty creepy, Ems.”
“Ice-queen?” I ask, pretty sure I was just insulted.
“Yeah. What is that? Your whole face goes blank and even your scent doesn’t g
ive away your emotions. It’s like you completely shut down. I thought you were going catatonic on me.” He shudders dramatically. “It’s not natural.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s a trick Caiden taught me. When I first came into my powers, I lost control of my temper a lot and ended up breaking things, like lights and windows and stuff. So, he taught me a trick to shut them off.”
“Shut them off?”
“Yeah, shut off my emotions.”
“Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that he would be the one to teach you that.”
“What does that mean?”
He smirks, but doesn’t answer my question. “All I’m saying is, it’s nice to have you back in the world of the living.”
I shake my head, about to let the conversation drop, but then something he said registers. “Wait, what did you mean ‘even my scent’ didn’t give away my feelings? Are you saying you can smell emotions?”
"They say dogs can smell fear, right?" he answers. "And we are so much more than dogs."
I eye him up and down. "I wouldn't be too sure about that..."
He throws his head back, laughing, eyes crinkling in the corners. Now that I'm watching for it, I notice a slight shift in his scent. Usually a woodsy musk, when he laughs the scent lightens, like a warm spring breeze wafting through his normal scent.
"This is really weird..." I shake my head, overwhelmed.
"Wait until your increased hearing and night vision fully kick in. You're going to be able to do a lot more than read emotions with your new wolfy senses. And boy, is it going to be fun to teach you."
We pass through a wrought iron gate with the words ‘Silver Ridge Manor’ engraved at the top before stopping in front of a large stone building, closer to a mansion than a house. In the center of a small crowd stands an older version of Gray, his piercing silver eyes just the same as they were in my dream.
Nikolay. Gray's father and leader of the pack. The Alpha that refused to let my mom marry Roman. The man who forced her to flee.
I'm glad to have Gray next to me as I climb out to greet him.
Coming around to my side of the car, Gray wraps his long arm around my shoulders in a territorial sort of way. I've been around enough males to recognize when one is a staking a claim. Human, animal, or werewolf, all men seem to have the same need to mark territory.
Gray walks up to Nikolay and inclines his head to him. I keep my chin up, refusing to give even this small sign of respect to a man that caused my mother such pain.
But as his eyes bore into mine, I’m unable to hold his gaze. I feel my chin shift downward. As hard as I want to fight it, I can't. It's like a compulsion. Like the wolf inside me recognizes and acknowledges a more dominant animal.
"Emerson, welcome."
My eyes stay locked on the ground below. I try to look up, and after a considerable struggle, I manage to lift my eyes as far as Nikolay's chest.
The air around me warms with the spring-like smell of fresh cut grass.
Amusement, whispers my wolf. The unwelcome intrusion stiffens my spine. The idea that I'm sharing my body with another entity, an animal that can take control of my body and force me to do atrocious things is horrifying. I shove her down as far as I can.
Nikolay steps back, and my body is my own again. I stand up straight and look around at the gathering pack. My brain is overloaded with the scents of everyone gathered; it's too much for me to separate each one and match them to their owners. I recognize Gray's woodsy musk, but everything else is a confusing jumble.
"Gray, take her inside and show her to her room. You can introduce her to everyone tonight at dinner," Nikolay says, his voice less than welcoming.
"Yes Sir," Gray answers. I have to glance behind me to see if he's being sarcastic, but there's no hint of humor on his face.
Nikolay's gaze sweeps up my body, coolly assessing. "And make sure she has something appropriate to wear."
Without another word, Nikolay turns and walks away.
I glance down at my cream-colored sweater and denim jeans. Something appropriate? What the hell does that mean?
Up by the front door of Gray's mansion, an older man with short cropped hair and a crooked nose leans against the wall, arms crossed over his barrel chest. The look in his eyes sends shivers down my spine and has me dropping my gaze before I even think about it. Instinctively, I know this man is much stronger than Nikolay. Why isn't he the Alpha? He looks older, but still powerful, his muscles apparent even from this distance.
I'll have to remember to ask Gray about him. For now, I allow Gray to steer me up the walkway and into the looming mansion.
Chapter 13
With my luggage in hand, Gray leads me through an impressive foyer, a crystal chandelier hanging high above an imposing staircase. I can't help thinking how out of place this opulence looks out here in the middle of dirt roads and dark woods. I had expected a log cabin, something rustic, not this elegantly furnished mansion. And to think I thought Gray's family couldn't even afford a couch for the old Victorian he's been staying at. No wonder he laughed. I can't even imagine how much money his family must have to afford a place like this.
Trying not to gape too much at my surroundings, I follow Gray up the grand staircase and down a series of corridors before he finally opens a door to a spacious bedroom, furnished in rich shades of burgundy and cream.
"Here's where you'll be staying," he says, setting my bags down next to the bed. "Why don't you get unpacked and cleaned up while I hunt you down something to wear tonight."
"I did bring my own clothes, or didn't you notice the two-hundred pound bags you've been lugging around?"
Gray grins at my tart tone. "Actually, I did notice. What the hell do you have in them, rocks?"
"Shoes."
"Well, that's one hell of a shoe collection," he says, pretending to rub his arm. "But tonight's dinner is a bit more formal than you probably packed for. Go ahead and shower and I'll get you some clothes." He turns to leave, then stops, that arrogant grin of his spreading across his face. "Unless, of course, you want me to stay and help you with the shower?"
"Get out," I say, rolling my eyes and shoving him toward the door.
"Alright, alright. Just checking."
I shut the door in his cocky face, but I can still hear his low chuckle through the wood.
After Gray's footsteps disappear down the hall, I wander around the room, checking out the expensive furniture. The dresser and four-poster bed are made from a dark, heavy wood. I trail my finger along the intricate carvings of trees, vines and leaves, feeling the smooth, polished wood grain. Besides the bed and dresser, there's also a section to the left, near the windows, that's set up like a sitting area, complete with a sofa, window seat, and a low wooden coffee table with a couple of matching chairs. There's even a large bookcase set into the wall behind the sofa, filled with leather-bound titles.
This bedroom is huge, bigger than my living room and kitchen combined. Are all the rooms this large? The halls Gray led me down all had numerous closed doors. I wonder if they’re all bedrooms. How many people live here apart from Gray and Nikolay? It's certainly large enough to house several families, at least.
Just as I begin unpacking my makeup, hair brush and shower stuff, my cell phone begins chiming.
"Hey, Olivia," I say, trying to keep my voice casual. How am I supposed to tell my best friend that I just found out I'm a werewolf?
"Oh my god!" she squeals, practically shouting. "Josh just told me that you went to stay in Ashwood! Em, I can't believe this. You're really half werewolf?"
Well, I guess I don't have to worry—it looks like Josh has already told her. But how did he know?
"This is crazy. So amazing! You are going to love it. Just you wait. It's incredible." Her enthusiasm makes me smile. At least someone’s excited about this turn of events. "But how come you went all the way to Vermont?" she continues, clearly disappointed. "Why didn't you come to me? You know James would have accepted you into
our pack. He told me so himself. Wanted me to tell you that his offer still stands, whatever that means."
Well, I guess that explains it. James found out somehow and told Josh and the others. Should I have taken him up on it? Could I have trusted him? He was right about Madelyn keeping secrets from me. But then I remember Jack.
No, I had to leave town. It would have been too dangerous to stay; there are too many humans in Haven Hollow who could get hurt. At least here, the entire town is comprised of witches and other werewolves. They'll be able to protect themselves from me.
Oblivious to these black thoughts, Olivia continues, a hint of real hurt in her voice. "I can't believe you left without telling me!"
"It just happened," I say. "I didn't have much time to process. I shifted last night, and I went a little crazy. Thank god my dad was out of town..."
"You shifted by yourself? Alone? Oh my god! You must have been terrified!"
"Yeah..." I say, remembering. "It was bad. But then Gray showed up and it got a little better. Since then, everything just happened so quickly. When Madelyn mentioned the possibility of me going feral, I knew I couldn't stick around to see if she was right."
"She WHAT? That bitch! I can't believe she'd stoop so low! Using that kind of scare tactic to get you to Ashwood!"
"It wasn't a scare tactic, Liv. You didn't see what I did to my house. Seriously, it was bad. I tore the place apart."
"Of course you did! You had just shifted for the first time without a dominant wolf to help you! Anyone would have gone a little crazy. That doesn't make you feral! Madelyn doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. What does she know about werewolves? I don’t care how much time she spends around the Silver Ridge Pack, she's not were'. She doesn't know anything about us."
"She told me that most witches born of mixed blood aren't able to shift, and the ones that can turn feral. Maybe she's wrong. God, I hope she is. But even if she is wrong, I had to leave; just in case. I couldn't put anyone else at risk."
"Boo. You realize how much this sucks? You finally know about me, about Seb, and you actually find out you have were' blood yourself! And then you go and move a hundred and fifty miles away! Do you know how much fun we could have had running around together?"