by Shannon West
“Damn it, Mike! He doesn’t even drink, normally.” Nick leaned over to look at the contents of a big pan on the stove. It was a muddy brown and gave off a noxious odor.
“Damn it, everybody get out of here! The neighbors have probably called the police by now and I don’t need this shit. Take your damn brew with you and get the hell out!”
Nick felt a hand on his shoulder and turned in surprise to see Carter back up on his feet. “Shhh, Nick, don’t yell so much. Calm down, Nicky. These are my good friends.” Nick looked down into his big blue eyes and cursed under his breath. Why did he have to be so damned beautiful?
Carter seemed to be confident he could calm Nick down. He even patted his arm a few times, smiling at him. “Shhh,” he said again. “It’ll be okay.”
Nick shrugged off his hand. “It’s not going to be okay, damn it! I want everybody out.”
He felt Carter’s hand on his arm again, tapping urgently and started to shrug it off again. He looked down then and saw Carter had a stricken expression on his face. His skin was turning green right before Nick’s eyes. He gripped Nick’s arm with a desperate, inward look.
Nick grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar and turned toward the open balcony door. He made it to the railing with him just in time for Carter to be violently sick onto the lawn below. He leaned over so far Nick had to catch hold of him to pull him back. Otherwise he would have landed on his head.
When he finished vomiting, he turned to Nick. “Oh God, Nick. I don’t feel so good.” Nick pulled him into his arms, unable to resist a second longer, rubbing his back in sympathy.
“You’re okay. You need to go lie down a while, baby. Why don’t you do that and I’ll get rid of all these folks?”
Carter turned and started to walk toward the bedroom, but listed so far to the left Nick had to grab his arm. He put an arm around his waist to support him and took him in the bedroom to lie down. As he turned to go, Carter grabbed his arm. “Nicky, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll yell at you when you’re feeling better.”
“Not just about the party. About losing my nerve.”
“Say that again.”
“I promised you I’d let you make love to me. To see if we could really be together. But then I got scared and I invited all these people so we couldn’t be alone. I…lost my nerve. What am I going to do?”
“It’s okay. We’ll find it again. Now lie here and rest. I’ll be back soon.”
Most of the guests were slowly packing up to leave, except for Mike, who was passed out now on the sofa. Nick managed to get the rest of them out the door.
He came back inside, turning off the music and lights. He threw an afghan over Mike and moved into the bedroom. He stood looking down at Carter, who lay on his back, one hand thrown across his forehead. His face was sick and white. Nick thought he was asleep, but he raised one eyelid and peered at Nick.
“Why is the room spinning around so much, Nicky? Make it stop.”
Nick bent over and pulled off Carter’s shoes. Then he unsnapped his jeans and pulled them down over his hips and legs. Carter groaned a little, but tried to cooperate. “Put one foot on the floor, honey. Sometimes that helps. You’ll feel better after you get some sleep. Close your eyes now and rest.”
Carter nodded and closed his eyes again, trustingly putting out one bare foot and plopping it on the floor. Nick smiled a little and pulled a blanket over him before he turned out the light. He went back into the kitchen for a beer and saw Mike sitting up on the sofa.
“I thought you’d passed out.”
“I think I did for a few minutes. I’m awake now though. Sort of. I’m trying to get it together so I can go home.”
Nick shook his head. “You’ve had too much to drink to drive home, Mike. Just sleep it off on the sofa there, and go home in the morning.”
“Sorry if we interrupted something when we arrived, Nick. I could see something was going on.”
Nick sighed. “It’s okay. Carter and I were having a little discussion, that’s all. He invited everybody over to avoid being alone with me, I think. Not your fault. Hell, maybe it’s nobody’s fault. Maybe some things just aren’t meant to be.”
Mike smiled. “I’m still pretty drunk, but I know a guy in love when I see one and you’ve got it bad, my friend.”
“You think so?” Nick took his beer over to the sofa to sit beside Mike. “Sometimes I think I don’t even like him much, Mike. I still have so many negative feelings for him even after all this time. But then again, I love him so much I can hardly stand it. You know, we go back a long way, even though I swore our friendship was over for good.”
“Just can’t quite make yourself believe it though, huh?”
“Hell no. I’m crazy about him, damn it. But if I can’t get a handle on these feelings, I’m afraid I’ll ruin it between us. He thinks he wants a real relationship with me.”
Mike raised his eyebrows. “Wow. I thought he was supposed to be straight.”
“Supposed to be. Or he always said he was. That’s the thing. He says he can’t get me off his mind. Says he wants to be with me.”
“Damn, that’s pretty major. So what’s holding you back?”
“You mean besides the fact he might change his mind and decide he’s straight after all? I’ve been hurt by his rejection in the past. I can’t go through that again.”
“What’s the alternative? Not taking a chance and always wondering what would have happened?”
“He said something like that earlier.”
“It’s worth thinking about. Or do you just want to punish him?”
Nick sighed. “No, not really. But I don’t want to go through life waiting for the other shoe to drop…for him to decide he made a mistake. I think it would kill me to lose him again. Hell, I guess I do want to punish him a little. Earlier tonight I even had a dream about whipping his ass with a cane.”
“A cane?” Mike laughed. “Well, maybe. Whatever it takes.”
Nick punched him on the arm and got up, stretching. “I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to know he’s going to stay.” He got to his feet and sighed. “Thanks, Mike. Try to get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Walking back into the bedroom, he smiled gently at the sight of Carter lying curled up on his side, his arms clutching Nick’s pillow. “So, you’re a pillow hog too, huh?”
He took off his clothes and lay down beside him, pulling his pillow gently away. As he did, Carter turned over and snuggled his ass right up against Nick’s crotch with a little sigh. Nick raised his eyes heavenward and gently pushed him away.
The situation suddenly seemed very familiar and he thought back to his dream of a few nights before, when he dreamed Carter was in his bed and he was loving him and kissing him. It had been damn vivid—or had it been? Nick raised up on one elbow and looked down at Carter suspiciously. Dream, huh?
The more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed. His dreams about Carter had always been good ones, but nothing like that. Carter had slept with him that night and they had made love. Those kisses had been real too. And the cuddling all night long. The little shit had let him think it wasn’t real.
Smiling, he reached out and pulled Carter closer to him again, snuggling his cock right up against his ass. God, he loved this man so much. Nick buried his nose in his hair and breathed deeply. He had to find a way to make this work. He couldn’t let him go again. Not ever.
Chapter Five
Carter knew it was coming. He knew Nick was biding his time before he made him face up to his promise, but still, when the time finally came, it took him off guard. Nick waited a whole week before he carried out his plan.
Their parents had come for a few days, staying in a hotel in town and bringing lots of gifts. Carter's folks had plans for a Christmas cruise, so they stopped in south Georgia on their way down. They were thrilled that Nick and Carter were not only friends again, but roommates, though Nick's mother, when she c
ame, gave Carter a significant look when she heard about it. She obviously knew how long Nick had carried a torch for Carter and seemed happy so long as Nick was.
The days drifted toward Christmas, and the time passed in an uneasy truce between them. Neither of them talked about what happened the night of the party before the guests arrived. They kept busy during the day, slept in the same big bed at night, but never touched, never spoke once they said good night.
Carter had managed to work every day, doing “lesson plans for next semester.” He didn’t have any real work to do—he went in to his office a time or two. In fact, there were only custodians around most days. But he was embarrassed about the party, felt unready to have the conversation he was afraid Nick wanted to have. On that particular afternoon, he could find no excuse to stay at his office, and the custodians wanted to go home. So when he came in that evening, on the night before Christmas Eve, Nick was waiting for him. It was close to six o’clock.
As Carter opened the door and saw Nick sitting on the sofa, he hesitated a fraction of a second before coming inside. Oh God, this was it.
“Hey. Have you had dinner yet?”
“No. I was waiting for you,” Nick said quietly.
Carter fidgeted with his keys for a moment and then turned toward the bedroom. “Well, I’m pretty beat. Guess I’ll just grab a sandwich.”
“I wanted to talk to you, Carter.”
“Oh. Of course. Or would you like to go out? I could change…”
Nick leaned forward and grabbed his hand. “Wait a minute. I’ve got something to say to you.”
Carter wet his lips nervously. “Can it wait? ‘Cause I’m pretty beat.”
“Yeah, you already said that. What’s the matter, Carter? Why so nervous?”
“I’m not nervous.”
Nick smiled. “Oh, I think you are.” He pulled him closer and down into his lap. Carter’s face flushed and he swallowed hard.
“What...what are you going to do?”
“Something I should have done years ago. I’m going to take you in the bedroom and make love to you all night long. Sweetheart, I staked my claim on you when you were four years old. You’ll always be mine. Are we clear?”
Carter’s breath was coming hard and fast. He made one last attempt to get away. Nick held him tightly in his arms. “Baby, why are you fighting me? You didn’t fight me that first night you slept with me after we played cards.”
“You remembered?” Carter’s voice was shocked and breathless.
Nick moved his hand up to Carter’s throat, caressing it gently. “Of course, I did. It took me a few days, admittedly, but too many memories kept coming back. I guess I wasn’t as drunk as I thought. I want to make love to you, baby. Really make love. I know you’re scared. But it’s the way we’re finally going to connect completely, or if you hate it and decide you don’t want to experiment any more after all, it may tear us apart forever. We have to find out for sure. And I don’t want to wait any longer. A few years ago, I would have carried you into the bedroom like I want to, but that’s not going to be a problem, is it? We can walk in there together, can’t we?”
Carter stared up at him and slowly nodded.
“Good. Let’s go, baby. If you want this—hell, even if you don’t, I’m going to make love to you until you scream my name. I’ll probably scream yours. I don’t think I can show you any mercy.” He laughed softly. “I’ve waited so long for this moment.”
Carter bit his lip and nodded. Nick reached down to caress his cock through the fabric of the thin dress pants he wore to work. Carter knew it would be hard against his hand. Smiling, Nick released him. Carter turned, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder. He moved slowly toward the bedroom.
Nick came up behind him, wrapped his arms around him and fell onto the bed with Carter still wrapped in his arms. He tried to bounce back up, but Nick, as good as his word, showed him no mercy. “Don’t fight me, baby. Just let this happen.” He unfastened Carter’s pants and pulled them, along with his underwear, down over his hips and off his legs. He helped Carter take off his shirt, and once he had him naked on the bed, he sat up beside him.
“Don’t move, babe. I want to look at you.” His gaze raked up and down Carter’s body. Nick rubbed his hand gently up and down over Carter’s stomach and chest. He dipped his head, his mouth settling over Carter’s. Carter’s breath caught in the back of his throat as Nick’s firm lips nudged his own apart. A dizzying rush of need swept over him and he wanted Nick inside him. He wanted Nick to own him, to never let him go.
Nick stood up and slowly undressed, his eyes never leaving Carter’s, then he pulled open the drawer of the bedside table and removed the tube of lubricant. He spread some on his fingers and lay down again beside Carter on the bed. “Roll on your side, sweetheart.”
All these endearments made Carter nervous and he knew something big was about to happen. He felt something cold and wet against the sensitive skin of his hole. He tried to move nervously away, but Nick held him gently. He began to massage around and around the rim of Carter’s entrance, murmuring soft encouragement to him. He took his time, as if there were all the time in the world, until Carter finally relaxed.
He eased a well-lubed finger up side him, and then another. It burned a bit, and felt a little uncomfortable, but Carter took a deep breath and tried to relax. “That’s it, baby, push out against my finger. Just like that.” Carter looked back over his shoulder at Nick and he smiled at him. “You’re so beautiful.”
Nick bent down and kissed him until they were both breathless. He kissed him until Carter began a little whimpering sound he couldn’t control. Carter turned back over and clung to Nick, breathing hard against his lips. His erection pressed against Nick’s stomach, hard, hot and demanding.
Nick bent his head and kissed the head of Carter’s dick, licking it and teasing gently with his teeth. He pushed his nose into Carter’s blond thatch of pubic hair and sucked in a deep breath.
“Tell me you love me. Say it, baby.”
Carter trembled, senses whirling as Nick rooted through the springy curls to tongue the base of his cock. Carter groaned in wanton lust as Nick worked his way slowly up his cock. Carter grabbed the sheets in his fists and held on. “I do love you, Nicky.”
If Nick doesn’t wrap his lips around me soon, I’ll lose my mind. Carter moaned and rocked his hips. He tried to move his hand down to touch himself too, but Nick pushed his hand away.
“This is mine, isn’t it baby? Say it.”
“ Yes , yours .”
“No more running for you, Carter. Never again. No more avoiding me and making us both miserable. This is mine, baby.” His tongue lapped his dick from the base to the head.
Sweet Jesus . “Yours,” Carter whispered hoarsely. “Yours!”
“Damn right it is. Do you love me, Carter?”
“Yes, Nick. God, I love you so much.”
Nick licked his cock again and Carter looked at him in wonder. Nick smiled wickedly and swallowed him in one move, making Carter’s hips buck up off the bed.
His head bobbed up and down on Carter’s dick and Carter felt a finger go up inside him again. He screamed out Nick’s name, not caring anymore about pride. Nick was scrambling Carter’s brains, and oh my God, it felt good.
“Turn back over, baby.”
Now that the moment was here, Carter was scared, but remembered then that Nick had always taken care of him and he always would. Nick bent down to kiss each tear as they fell. “What are you crying for, baby? You’re okay. I got this.”
“I-I’m scared, Nicky.”
“Oh baby, don’t be scared. You know I would never really hurt you, don’t you? I love you so much. If it hurts too bad, then tell me to stop.”
Carter nodded and turned over obediently, looking back over his shoulder. He was still frightened. Nick reached into the bedside again and pulled out a condom. Smoothing it on, he took the lube out and used it on his erection before reapplying some to
his finger and gently inserting it inside Carter again, twisting and stretching. Carter groaned and shivered violently, trying to get away. “Please, Nick. Please.”
Nick held him down with the flat of his hand. “Shhh. Hush. I’m making it better for you.”
“Okay.”
Nick made his moves gentle and soft, not hurrying. He moved his finger slowly in and out, letting Carter get used to the idea of something entering him there.
Finally, Carter began to feel calmer and felt Nick’s hand checking his erection to make sure he was as hard and rigid as ever. He inserted another finger, stretching again. Carter moaned and cried out. “I’ve changed my mind. Please, Nick!”
Nick rolled him over on his back and bent down to place an almost chaste kiss on the tip of his penis and handle his balls gently. “Are you sure, baby?” he asked softly. He bent down to kiss the head of his cock again, using his tongue in a gentle swirling motion. “Sure you want me to stop?”
Carter thrashed his head on the pillow. “I don’t...I don’t know. It feels so...” He threw his arms around Nick’s neck and held on. “I’m scared,” he whispered. “I’m scared to death.”
“Scared of what, baby? It’s me and you, honey, like it’s always been. I want to give you pleasure, not hurt you. I’ll never hurt you, baby. You’re just tight, so it might be a little painful at first, but relax. Let me love you.”
Carter clung to him for another minute and then lay back down, gazing up at him. “It’s not the pain I’m worried about. Not really. It’s—this is a big step, Nick. I never thought of myself as being gay. I love you , Nick. Only you. I want to be close to you . I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else like this.”
“I feel the same way about you, honey. I won’t go on if you want me to stop, no matter what I said earlier. Say the word, and this is over.”
“No. I don’t want it to be over. I want you.”