I speak over the painful reminder. ‘You know what your brother was like growing up: outgoing, a people-pleaser, a constant beam of optimism?’
She frowns at me, but nods. I know she’s comparing how he was to the man he is now, as she’s just described him to me.
‘He was also hot-headed, excitable—he would always act first, think later, if it meant he could lead the way with whatever had caught his eye.’
I take up my beer for a swig and let the memories in.
‘He definitely did that when it came to women.’ I can almost laugh at that. ‘We had some seriously fun times...and some fallouts. But it was the same in business too, and together we worked. So long as I was there, watching his back, and so long as he listened to me we were okay, the business was okay. He was the go-getter and I was the level-headed one, doing the research and giving final approval.’
‘Yeah, I know. Dad made some sweeping comment not long after it all came crashing down, referring to you both as yin and yang, the perfect system...until you went AWOL.’
‘I didn’t go AWOL.’ It comes through gritted teeth, and I see my anger surprises her. ‘I left after your brother went too far with one of his schemes. He’d been pulled in by a woman he was dating. She’d convinced him this product they were working on was the next big thing—that they just needed enough investment and it would make us all billions.’
I laugh bitterly now, as I remember the conversation, the stupidity of it all.
‘I told him it was a bad investment, that we couldn’t risk it. We still had your father’s money to pay back and we were on track for that. A few months and we could have been clear—well on our way to making a small fortune. Of course, your brother wasn’t one for waiting, but I never thought for a second he would go ahead and do it without me. He lost it all. Bankrupted the company...lost your father’s money...left us with nothing.’
‘But...’ She’s staring at me as if she doesn’t believe a word. ‘I don’t understand. Why did you leave if it was all him?’
‘I was angry. I tried to speak to your father but Nate got there first—claimed I’d been on board, that he might have sourced the deal but I was with him on it.’
‘No, he wouldn’t lie like that.’
She’s shaking her head at me, but her voice is soft, lacking in conviction. Not that I care whether she believes me or not. Her father didn’t—why would she be any different?
‘Wouldn’t he? Nate was always trying to prove himself, to outperform all around him, to prove his worth to your father. Can you imagine what this did to him...? No, you don’t need to imagine—you know.’
‘But to lie...to blame you.’
‘I don’t think he realised at the time just how badly his accusation would land. He was just covering his back, protecting his position with your father.’
‘Fuck that, Lucas! You were kicked out because of this.’
I don’t need her sympathy or her anger. This is old news to me.
‘Your father chose to believe him. I tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen. Ultimately I don’t think he cared. He just wanted to place the blame squarely on me.’ I take another swig of beer, douse the choking heat in my throat. ‘I wasn’t blood.’
‘But, Lucas...’ Her voice is whisper-soft. ‘You could’ve come to me—at least told me, explained...’
‘What good would that have done?’
‘I could’ve spoken to Dad, defended you, made Nate come clean—anything.’
I shake my head at her. It doesn’t change anything. The past is done and dusted. There can be no going back.
‘I was better off out of it. I wasn’t about to plough any more time and money into that company. I couldn’t trust Nate any more—not in business and not personally either. He betrayed me, Eva. He was like my brother, and then he did something as huge as that behind my back and lied about it.’
‘But what about me?’
‘What about you?’
She chews her lip, eyes wide. ‘Didn’t I deserve to know?’
‘You expected me to turn up and say, Hey, Eva, not seen you since you were at your folks with your fiancé, all happy and whatnot, but get this: your brother just screwed me over and bankrupted the company, so I’m off. Sayonara?’
The words come out rapidly and then it hits me. It wasn’t just Nate and her father I ran from. It was her too. Her and her soon-to-be marriage.
Christ. I rake a shaky hand through my hair and evade her eyes.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous!’
I barely hear her. I’m reeling from the realisation that I am screwed. That coming back to her has opened me up, made me defenceless again. Vulnerable.
Her phone starts to ring, her watch vibrates. She flicks her wrist and cuts the call.
‘Who was it?’
‘Nate.’
The pain of the past, the potential future, has me snapping, ‘Tell you what—why don’t you leave so you can call him back?’
Her eyes widen. I can see I’ve hurt her but I can’t hold back. I need to bury this crazed emotion boiling inside me.
‘Don’t push me away.’
‘Your family did that a long time ago.’
‘And I want to fix this.’
‘You want the impossible.’
‘No, I don’t. Nate’s not been the same since you left. It makes so much sense now why he doesn’t trust himself—why he comes to me before Dad, why he’s always looking for a sounding board. He needs you in his life again.’
Screw Nate. All I care about right now is her, and the dawning realisation that I ran from her all those years ago and I don’t want to run any more.
‘And you, Evangeline? Do you need me?’
‘I—’
She breaks off as her phone rings again, and this time she pushes to her feet and strides away, grabbing up her coat from the bar stool and taking her phone out of its pocket.
She lifts it to her ear. ‘Just give me half an hour.’
Her eyes flick to mine as she listens to the person on the other end.
‘I’m busy right now... Just busy... Out... Dinner... No, no one you know...’
‘No one you know...’
I flex my hand around the beer bottle, keeping my face expressionless.
Her silence extends and she wets her lips. ‘I get that... No, I know... Yes, I’ll call you... Bye.’
She hangs up and pockets the phone, her eyes coming back to me, shadowed. ‘Thank you for telling me the truth.’
‘So I’m no one you know?’ Anger at her lie heats my words, my body, my blood.
‘What did you expect me to say?’
‘I don’t know.’ I get to my feet. ‘I’m not sure where I fall. Am I the guy you’re fucking, or the guy you’re going into business with?’
She swallows hard. ‘Neither.’
My laugh is harsh. ‘Well, your state of undress places me in the former camp, for sure.’
She tugs at the hem of my tee and her cheeks heat. ‘We were fucking—now I have no idea what we’re doing.’
‘No? Want me to help with that?’
I walk towards her and she backs into the counter. Perhaps a revenge fuck will kill off this insane sea of emotion. Something has to.
‘No. I can’t do this.’ She raises her palm to me even as her nipples bead against the tee. Air rasps from her lungs. ‘I need time to think about what you’ve said. It changes so much and yet changes nothing.’
I stop walking and my smile is tight. ‘Okay, and while you’re thinking it through can I take it that my business proposition meets with your approval?’
She starts moving towards my bedroom, her coat hooked over her arm. ‘We need to talk about that.’
‘Talk?’
I follow her. She’s looking for her clothes, dipping and ben
ding as she collects each item from its place on the floor. If not for the edge to her voice I’d be all over the sight of her bare arse each time my tee lifts.
‘You say we need to talk like it’s a way off?’
She dumps her clothing on the bed and with her back to me pulls my T-shirt over her head. My pulse leaps, heat streaks to my groin and I pocket my fists. She’s not making this easy.
‘I have concerns.’
She steps into her thong and shimmies it up her legs, her hips, over her perfect round arse. Christ.
‘What kind of concerns?’
‘Like how you can do it so cheap.’ She dons her bra, the cups facing me momentarily before she tugs it around to the front and slips her arms in.
Effortless, easy...so sexy even in reverse.
‘I care about my workforce, whether they work for me or my suppliers. I need to know you’re not crossing any human rights lines.’
She bends forward to step into her skirt but all I hear are the last three words. ‘Human rights lines? Who do you think I am?’
She looks at me over her shoulder as she fastens her skirt. ‘Don’t act so defensive. You wouldn’t be the first company to present me with a proposal that takes advantage of child labour and suchlike.’
‘Child labour...’ I choke the words out—is she kidding me?
She’s not looking at me now. She’s thrusting her arms into her blouse and fastening it up, acting as if she has no awareness of how deep her words cut.
‘Anyway, I don’t want to discuss it now.’
She tucks her blouse into her skirt and strides into the bathroom, emerging with her shoes and stockings. She pushes her foot into one shoe and then the other, her eyes anywhere but on me.
‘We can pick it up at work.’
She grabs up her coat and stuffs the delicate nylon strips into its pocket as she heads towards me, past me, back into the foyer, her eyes scanning the lift for a call button. I press it for her and she clears her throat.
‘Thank you. My PA will be in touch to arrange a meeting.’
‘Your PA?’ I raise my brow at her, daring her to meet my eye. ‘Why not you?’
‘My PA and your PA can sort it out. It’s the way of things, is it not?’
‘Normally.’
She still won’t look at me and it’s driving me crazy. I want to reach for her and pull her in. I don’t want her to go with this uncertainty hanging over us. I want to know where I stand.
And deep down I know it’s not the business proposition I care about. It’s her and her opinion of me. Is it so low that she could truly question my business ethics? I don’t want to think it possible, and yet she’s implying just that.
But then I never thought her father would think me a liar either...
And she’s a Beaumont, after all.
The lift doors open and she sweeps inside, turning just quickly enough to offer me a parting look before they close.
And that look swallows me whole.
* * *
‘What is it, Nate?’
My temper is frayed. I feel oddly naked with my stockings stuffed inside my coat pocket. As if every Londoner can tell I’ve just run out on my lover and didn’t have the inclination to dress properly.
Your lover? Really, Eva.
‘What do you mean: what is it?’
I tune in to my brother’s scornful tone and take a breath before replying. It never pays to react in kind—especially with him.
‘If this is about Lucas again, I’m not interested,’ I say.
‘If?’
I weave through the heavy stream of pedestrians, their loaded bags making it more awkward than usual. I really need to start my own Christmas shopping, but it’s been at the back of mind, buried beneath work...and now him.
‘What else would it be about?’ asks Nate.
‘I don’t know—your issue with the wife of Mr Chan and her roaming fingers and the price hike they’re insisting on? Or how about your laundry going astray?’
Okay, so I’m not doing a great job of keeping a lid on my frustration. I blame it on the ice-cold air whipping up my skirt and the thought of the heated body I’d much rather be curled up against and had to bail on to make this call.
No, not to make this call—to avoid getting in too deep.
Honesty was supposed to help. Instead it’s opened me up...made me fall.
No. No. No. Not again.
‘You’re not funny, Eva.’
‘Funny?’ This really isn’t what I call ‘funny’. ‘I wasn’t trying to be.’
I look at the entrance to the Underground and decide against it. I can’t face being hemmed in—not like this.
‘Then quit the avoidance and tell me what you’re playing at, still talking to him.’
I pause and a laden pedestrian curses, right on my tail.
‘Sorry.’ I grimace, ducking out of her way.
‘Sorry?’
‘Not you.’ I scan the traffic, looking for a yellow taxi light. ‘I’m talking to him because he could be good for my business. He has everything I need.’
‘Need?’ Nate scoffs down the phone. ‘There are plenty of other suitable firms. What about Rosalie and Janus Industries? She’s flying in next week. I thought you were speaking to her?’
‘I am.’ I spy an available cab and hail it, moving to the edge of the kerb, careful to avoid being run down by either a person or a car. ‘We’re scheduled to meet on Tuesday.’
‘So wait for her.’
I shake my head incredulously. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Nate. I’m doing my research—both Rosalie’s and Lucas’s are among the many companies I’m considering. I’m getting this right.’
The cab pulls up alongside me and I open the door, hopping in. ‘Jermyn Street, please.’
‘Sure thing.’
The driver scans me over his shoulder a second longer than feels necessary. Bare legs, middle of winter, that’s not normal.
I tug my skirt lower.
‘Still staying at Mum and Dad’s, then?’ asks Nate.
‘Until my place is ready—yeah.’
I look out of the window as the taxi pulls away, but I’m not really aware of the passing world or what I’m saying. My head is full of Lucas, of how he felt towards me, of what Nate did. And I don’t want this conversation with my brother over the phone. I know I need to have it, but not now. I’m tired, and he’s thousands of miles away getting a deal signed. It’s not the right time.
‘Don’t do it, Eva’
‘Do what?’ I ask, even though I know.
‘Go into business with him...bring him back into our lives.’
My anger erupts, spurred on by guilt at how we mistreated Lucas. The royal ‘we’—the Beaumonts. And my brother is still sticking the knife in.
Remember, now isn’t the time...
‘I’ll decide what’s best for my product and for my business, Nate.’
‘And what if he’s doing this just to stir things? Have you thought about that?’
Christ, when haven’t I? Isn’t that why I’m terrified, in part...?
‘He could screw you over just as easily as—’
‘Nate.’
I hear his breath, heavy down the phone.
‘Fine. But keep me posted, okay? And keep Dad in the loop? No nasty surprises.’
‘No, no nasty surprises.’
Not like the one I just got, learning how you screwed Lucas over. Not that I was truly surprised.
‘So, how is Hong Kong and the lovely Mrs Chan?’
He laughs down the phone at me and my body eases into the seat. ‘Eva, I’m not kidding. The woman terrifies me...’
For the remainder of the cab journey he fills me in, and then quizzes me on what to buy Mum and Dad for Christmas. The conversati
on turns easy, and it’s the perfect distraction—until I let myself into the apartment, into the kitchen, and in my head I’m naked, with Lucas pressed into my back...
My body tightens on a shiver of heat, of longing, and I reach a hand to the cool surface of the worktop, dragging in a breath.
I’ll never have enough of Lucas. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man who’s truly got under my skin. And now I’ve learned the truth. He’s not the enemy my family painted him as for so long. He’s the one who’s been wronged.
Where does that leave us? Leave me?
Scared.
If I listen to my fear then I’ll take his business off the table and run—because being around him and keeping my heart under wraps is impossible. And if I don’t—if this love has chance to take hold again—what am I risking?
Everything.
There can be no future. Not with the past as it is.
But what if it could be changed? What if the air could be cleared? What if he could be welcomed back?
Was it even possible?
I feel a lightness creep its way in, see the future opening up with possibility...
There has to be a way. Mum and Dad are good people; they’re controlling, overprotective, but good people. And Nate isn’t himself—he hasn’t been since the day he and Lucas went their separate ways. It has to be rooted in guilt, shame for what he’s done, a desire to avoid Lucas and the memory of it all.
But surely if Lucas is willing to forgive, Nate can stop this whole don’t trust him shit. He can take responsibility for what he’s done and stop insisting that Lucas is on a revenge mission. Because I don’t believe it. Not after all Lucas has said.
And he can’t be lying. That photo isn’t a lie. His desire for me can’t be fake. So the rest has to be the truth too...
But what if it’s not?
CHAPTER NINE
DESPITE TELLING LUCAS that our PAs would handle it, I’m still surprised when it comes to Friday and I’ve not heard from him.
I was so convinced he’d call. But then I didn’t exactly leave him on fabulous terms. I gave him my warning that his deal was questionable and then ran off to deal with my family and the mess that is me, my feelings.
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