“How did she know where to look? I thought the location of the Sect was super-secret.”
Holden shot me a flat look. “I’m sure she had help from an Elitist or two who’d been there before and managed to escape.”
I frowned, taking that all in. “So, she gave you the location—what did you give her?”
His lips twisted almost sadistically. “That’s confidential.”
My mind drifted to the plethora of political scandals I’d learned about over the years, and I instantly wondered if he’d exchanged some sort of sexual favor with her. My nose scrunched as I imagined anyone getting close to that bitch. I shivered and pushed the thought away. It was his business what he did with his body or anyone else’s.
When we got to the truck, he paused, taking my hands in his. To avoid meeting his gaze, I watched Lilly and Paxton climb into the back seat as the rest of our group piled into the bed of the truck. Eventually, I sighed and faced him. The look in his eyes went from hopeful, to…sad. It worried me. I didn’t know what I was about to confront. Another round of guilt as I was forced to break Holden’s heart again and again? God, I wished he’d just stop being so hopeful where I was concerned.
“Valerie, I don’t know how to say this…”
I smiled tentatively. “Are you sure it even has to be said?”
I hoped he’d reconsider putting himself out there to be burned. I didn’t want to keep hurting him. He had to know that.
He licked his lips and nodded. “It does.”
“Better just spit it out quickly, then.”
He pulled his lips in and bit them. “All right. Well, it’s been…weeks since you were captured, and a lot has happened. Nicholai leveled Wellsfield to the ground, killing thousands, and worst of all…”
What the hell could be worse than that? That was terrible.
I fought to breathe as my body went numb with fear. Ice splintered out across my skin, causing Holden to gasp and yank his hands away.
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Valerie…I’m so sorry, but…”
Oh god. Someone had died. Someone I loved was gone and I’d never see them again. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to hear this at all. Dad? Sienna? Jay? Please don’t let it be…
“Cade’s dead, Val.”
My heart squeezed. My lungs collapsed. My chest practically caved in on itself. An all-encompassing pain washed through every cell in my body as an overwhelming sadness bloomed in my soul, the petals of which quickly wilted and crumbled into dust.
My legs gave out, and my arms didn’t bother to catch me as I fell. My face smashed into the forest floor, meeting with dirt, twigs, and briars. I felt absolutely nothing.
“Jesus, Val, are you okay?”
Holden’s voice was muffled and distant. I vaguely felt his hands on my arms, tugging me up off the ground…ground Cade had control over. I thrashed out of his grasp, crashing back onto the sodden soil in a desperate attempt to cling to whatever piece of Cade I had left. I dug my fingers into the earth, relishing the feel of the dirt caking under my nails, the blades of grass slipping between my fingers.
I’m here, Cade, I whispered in my head as scalding hot tears burned down the bridge of my nose. Please tell me you’re here, too. Please tell me you’re not really gone…
“It’s okay, Val,” Holden whispered, stroking my hair. “It’ll be okay.”
It was not okay. It would never be okay.
“How did this happen?” I breathed out, barely able to speak through the utter devastation coursing through me.
Holden didn’t answer right away. I almost thought he hadn’t heard me. Then he said, “Nicholai.”
My eyes closed knowingly.
I would kill him.
It wasn’t a vengeful threat; it was a cold and critical promise. I knew it in the marrow of my bones. I believed it with every ounce of my soul. I would stop at nothing in my quest to end his life. He’d pushed too hard for too long, and he’d finally pushed me right over the fucking edge.
“An Elitist found him passed out in the West Woods,” Holden continued.
Because of the poison, I thought, filling in the blanks.
“They turned him in, and as soon as Nicholai got his hands on him…”
He killed him.
Not with his element, because they were both Earths and it would have been physically impossible, but with something more violent and lethal. A gun? A knife? Had he tortured him first? Starved him? Filled his head with lies?
I gritted my teeth hard enough to crack bone.
I will kill him.
I blinked the remaining tears from my eyes and crawled onto my hands and knees. Then, one leg at a time, I rose up to stand. Mud covered the front of my stark white Sect attire and probably my face. I didn’t care.
I suffered the drive home in absolute silence, face plastered to the passenger window. Every once in a while, I’d listen in on Lilly and Holden discussing current politics. Mostly, though, I concentrated on keeping my elements in check, as severe pain and ruthless anger battled at the fringes of my brain.
After what felt like an eternity, Holden dropped us all off at the cathedral in Berwindale.
“I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you,” he said with a gentle smile. “Unless…you want me to stay?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nodded and drove away, probably back to Center Allegheny.
I took a deep breath of misty night air and glanced over my shoulder at the six Elementals who’d followed me from the Sect.
“Welcome to Revolutionist Headquarters,” I said without a trace of a smile. I didn’t have the energy to muster one up. “The whole town is abandoned, except for us. You can stay wherever you want. We’ll meet at the cathedral in the morning to train.”
Without the grace of a proper hostess, I disappeared into my house and left them to fend for themselves.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The next morning, I cracked my tired eyes open, allowing the burn I felt to crawl deeper into my skull. I hadn’t slept more than a few hours, a collection of odd minutes here and there.
The house had been totally empty when I arrived the night before, and if the silence was anything to go by, I assumed it still was.
Had they all died? I doubted it, or Holden would have told me as much. So, where were they? Still in Wellsfield, cleaning up Nicholai’s mess? Chasing him farther north, possibly to New York City? Were they hurt and hospitalized? Was Marge okay? Had she made it to Henrie Landston’s house?
There were so many questions, and no one around to answer them.
I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen. Staring at the empty chairs, it occurred to me that I’d never again eat one of Cade’s all-natural oatmeal breakfasts. It would probably break my heart all over again soon, but for now, I still felt numb. Turning away, I zombied through my morning routine, making a cup of tea and taking it out onto the back patio.
The air was colder than usual. I wasn’t sure if it was because of me or the storms that were blowing through, though for all I knew, those might’ve been because of me, too.
I shuffled over to the cathedral after letting my tea go cold.
Lilly, Paxton, and four others sat on the tall church steps, probably waiting for me. I forced a pathetic excuse for a smile as I approached.
“Morning,” I said when I was close enough to talk without shouting. “I’m going to be training hard for two weeks then I’m going to take Nicholai head on. You can join me if you want, or you can practice at your own pace. Whatever you want to do is fine. If you’ve changed your mind since yesterday, you are, of course, free to go. No hard feelings.”
The four Elementals I didn’t know slowly stood, and three of them dispersed toward the outer edges of town.
The fourth lingered, giving me a halfhearted smile. “We still support you, but we don’t want to fight. We’re already too broken from years of confinement. We just
need to…live a little.”
She smiled again then walked away.
The word ‘live’ stuck in my mind like a nail, driving deeper and deeper into my brain. Cade hadn’t lived, and he never would again. I hoped beyond hope he’d ended up in Euphoria with the gods and I could join him there someday soon. I imagined him playing cards with Nik, Meg, Thor, Isis, and Zeus, or some other combination of various deities. I imagined him watching me on Ida’s map, cheering me on in my quest to finish the war.
I’m coming, Cade, I thought with the first genuine smile of the day. I just have to kill him first, and then I’m coming.
Lilly stood and tugged at her dirty gray uniform, which had probably once been white. “You have any clothes we could borrow?”
“You sure you want to stay?” I asked instead of responding.
She nodded then glanced at Pax. He nodded too, peeking around with a mousey sort of nervousness. He’d been imprisoned for quite some time, and I could tell it had done a number on his emotional health, possibly even his sanity.
“Okay then,” I said, leading them across the street to my house. “I have a ton of clothes for you to choose from—and not just girl stuff. There’s guy stuff, too. Once you’re dressed, meet me back here and we’ll get started.”
They disappeared through the doorway, and before they came back out, Holden pulled up. He parked his silver truck at the curb and hopped out of the driver’s seat, immediately assessing my attire.
“Going for a morning run?” he asked with a grin.
I crossed my arms and pursed my lips. I was going for a smile, but I’d already used up my emotional reserves. I was actually relieved he was sticking around and being a friend when I needed it most. It was more than I deserved from him.
“Training,” I replied, assessing his attire, too: khaki shorts and a polo shirt. “You gonna work out in that?”
He raised his brows. “I’m working out?”
I sniffed. It was supposed to be a chuckle. “Might as well join in if you’re going to be hanging around.”
He grinned and nodded. “Okay, let me check my duffle and see what I can find.”
He walked back over to his truck, where I knew he kept athletic wear for football practice, and returned holding a gray cut-off muscle shirt and black drawstring shorts.
“Mind if I step inside to change?”
I moved out of the way and gestured toward the door. “Be my guest. Pax and Lilly are in there, so don’t just drop trou wherever you please.”
He chuckled and brushed past me as he stepped inside. My skin crawled where it connected with his. I didn’t want anyone touching me but Cade, and considering the circumstances, I supposed that meant I didn’t want anyone touching me ever again.
A few minutes later, we were all dressed and ready to begin the brutal day of training I had planned.
“Let’s start with a run,” I said, following the routine I’d once used when the group was much larger. “I’ll lead since you guys don’t really know your way around. We’ll go for a mile.”
Holden whistled and Pax paled.
I stared at the latter knowingly. “It’s all right. Just do the best you can. You’ll get stronger every day. There’s a river a few streets over you can use to restore some of your energy after.”
He nodded and took a deep breath, clearly not looking forward to the physical activity.
I couldn’t blame him. The Sect had reduced him to skin and bones. It was going to take a hell of a lot of work to get him back into whatever shape he had been in previously.
Lilly still looked strong, sturdy, and filled with fire—though not literal Fire. I had a feeling she might’ve been an Earth, seeing as she was named after a flower. Regardless, she seemed ready to tackle this run and then anything else that stood in her way, namely the Elitists and the Sect. I couldn’t blame her, either.
I turned to Holden, who was certainly fit enough but lacked the passionate drive the other two had for revenge, for proving themselves, and for securing freedom. He was too privileged to fully understand, and though he’d certainly suffered hardships and grief of his own, it hadn’t hardened him into a single-minded instrument of fury.
Not like it had me.
Cade was gone, and the only thing keeping me from falling apart was my all-consuming need to destroy Nicholai Prett. For a few weeks, I could suppress the pain of loss and embrace the pure hatred for the man who had caused it. I could channel that fury into a lightning-hot arrow of justice and destruction. I could use it to kill that son of a bitch once and for all.
Then I’d throw his head into the circle of my power, rip open the seam between worlds, and demand that the gods let me live with them and Cade in Euphoria. After all, once Nicholai was dead and the balance of power was restored, I’d have no other reason for being here. It wasn’t that I wanted to give up my life or that I felt it had no meaning now; it was just that I wanted to live that life somewhere else. Death was not the end. The afterlife was just another brick in the solid gold road of eternity.
“Let’s go.”
I led the group into a gentle jog, allowing us all to get a feel for the motion before I upped the pace. It didn’t take long for my legs and lungs to start burning, but I loved it. The sensation had become familiar over these last few months. I knew the burn was only temporary, just another obstacle I needed to overcome, and once I pushed past it, I could run for miles.
My legs propelled me across the pavement with the fluid grace one would expect from a Water—something I’d never really possessed before, even though I was a Water as my base. It was an interesting contrast to the fire in my muscles and a surprising skill to develop considering my Elemental jewelry had all been shattered…or stolen.
I squeezed my fists, only barely remembering the weight of the engagement ring on my finger. I hadn’t worn it for nearly long enough to become fully familiar with it, but I already missed it. I missed Cade, more than I could ever express.
Sadness burned through my chest like acid, but I quickly decided to funnel that energy into fuel for my training. I pushed harder, launching my body into a sprint as I focused on becoming as fast as possible. Nicholai was fast. I had to be faster.
Gasping for breath, I made it back to the cathedral lawn in record time—or at least it felt like it. I wasn’t exactly timing myself, but I was definitely far ahead of everyone else. I sort of felt bad for leaving them in the dust, but I needed to stay focused. They could train to join the Revolutionists if they wanted or simply train to fight the Elitists, but it was my responsibility to train in order to defeat Nicholai. As such, I couldn’t let anything stop me from working myself as hard as physically possible.
I launched right into parkour, thankful I’d practiced while trapped in the Sect. My movements were now smoother and more sinuous. No matter what was in my way, I used it as a means to continue moving. A wall? Just run sideways for a few steps. A hurdle? Just leap over it. A level change? Just dive, roll, get up, and keep running.
By the time the other three caught up, I was moving on to the next station: weapons.
I threw knives, axes, and stars. I fired handguns, rifles, and machine guns. I danced with swords, spears, and whips. I created ice spikes and fireballs, launching them all at various targets spread out across the yard.
Once I’d practiced every single one, I moved on to weights. Nicholai was strong; I had to be stronger. I worked my arms, legs, abs, and back, concentrating on adding reps and weights as needed.
When I was thoroughly exhausted, I shouted for Pax. I needed a dip in the river, and I had no doubt he did too. Hell, even Holden and Lilly would probably enjoy a quick soak. The summer days were long and sweltering, and with all the sweating we were doing, the swimming break would be a welcome respite for all of us. So, I shouted for them too.
“Let’s take a quick dip in the river,” I said, smiling at their relieved expressions. “After that, I’m going on another run.”
Everyone gro
aned, and it almost made me chuckle. Almost.
“You don’t have to,” I added in response to their whimpering. “I’m just saying I’m going to.”
When we got to the river, I dove in right away and took a deep breath of the heavy liquid, allowing it to flood my lungs and infiltrate my system. It wasn’t long ago I’d feared accidentally drowning in the stuff. Now it was almost second nature, a blessed reprieve from having to breathe harsh air all the time.
When I resurfaced, Pax was just diving in, and Holden and Lilly were carefully creeping down the bank, trying not to slip in the mud. There were a few old oak trees lining the street side of the river, giving us some glorious shade, and on the other side, a wide expanse of field swayed in a light breeze. Some years, it had corn growing in it; this year it must’ve been left fallow.
I felt every single one of them as they entered my domain. Okay, it wasn’t just my domain, but still. I couldn’t deny I felt an even deeper connection to the Water than I had before. It seemed to be working with me now, not against me.
It was like…my pet, almost. Like an unruly puppy, all it needed was a little obedience training—the aquamarine crystals—and some time to grow up and mature, and now it was a faithful companion, like a dog that would never leave my side.
I wondered if the Fire and I would ever get to that point, or if we already had. It certainly hadn’t snuck out and burned anyone lately. Maybe my time with the fire opal necklace and bracelet really had “trained” it into “obedience” of some sort.
Or maybe it was simply my attitude shift. I no longer thought of things the way I once had. I understood now that some things, like life and fate, are bigger than I ever realized, and other things, like worries, wants, and desires, are smaller than I’d imagined. When I realized how vast and complex eternity really is, I was able to understand how powerful I was—not necessarily my Elemental power, but the power of my mind. I could change my entire reality by altering the way I thought about it.
The Essential Elements: Boxed Set Page 75