Either Carl didn’t trust Black Dog or the other hands with her horse, which would seem impossible or he welcomed the chance to do this for her himself. Elizabeth stared at him. He was a good man and although she knew very little about him. Elizabeth felt him to be honest and a kind man. Even Black Dog seemed to respect him. Elizabeth’s frown deepened. He hadn’t been here long. Was he trying to take over?
Carl had the feeling he was being watched, he turned and looked straight at her. She was sitting on the porch in the glow from the house. It was obvious she had been watching him for some time. A little embarrassed to be found out, he finished up and walked over to her.
“Mam.” He said donning his hat. “Can I get you something?”
Elizabeth stared. “It would seem Carl, that you are doing enough for me already.” Elizabeth said without a smile. “My pony is Black Dog’s job. Will he not be annoyed with you?” She asked.
Carl cleared his throat. “Err actually mam, I offered some time ago and he kinda left me to it.” Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to be surprised.
“Really, did he now.” She asked thoughtfully.
“If you don’t mind me saying, it’s nice to see you up and in good spirits, it’s been awhile.” Carl continued. Elizabeth looked at him and saw the twinkle in his eye, he was baiting her.
“Carl it is unwise to upset the boss.”
“Oh I know that mam, she’s deadly with the bullwhip.” He teased.
Elizabeth burst out laughing and slapped her thighs. For the first time in months she felt alive. At the same time the breakfast call rang out.
“Come join us.” She waved at him and he followed her in.
Ben watched as Elizabeth came in with Carl. But said nothing. He’d heard her laughter and part of him hoped she’d turned a corner. She needed a good man and Carl could be it.
Breakfast continued as it had on every other occasion. It was loud. Before leaving Carl checked with Ben for the day’s activities and went outside. For the first-time Elizabeth noticed that the braves acknowledged Carl and his words and only the Foreman sort confirmation from either Ben or her. That knowledge was more unsettling.
That would have been Red Wolf’s role. The realisation hit her hard. What was he doing? Agitated beyond reason, without waiting, she mounted and rode out with her braves. Carl was not with her, he had not been ready. Too busy being the big man, Elizabeth told herself angrily.
They worked the pasture as she tried to ignore her annoyance from earlier. The last thing she wanted to do was confront her poor behaviour. She couldn’t stand the thought of someone taking Red Wolf’s place. In reality, Carl hadn’t done anything wrong. She knew that. Elizabeth sighed. What was wrong with her? Her emotions were unstable. That had been rude and uncalled for. Not ready to face the music she gave instructions that they would camp out.
Black Dog sent a brave on ahead to let Ben know what was going on. When the brave came back, it was dark, food was cooking, and the camp laid out. With him came Carl, with enough food and water for another day. She could see he wasn’t happy. He dismounted and walked straight over to her. And dropped his gear in an obvious gesture of anger and stood waiting for her to explain.
She tried to ignore him, but he stood his ground. She turned and looked up at him, his anger all too clear, as was her poor behaviour.
Shamefaced she spoke to him. “I should have waited, I apologise.” Carl stared at her and nodded, walked away and made his own bed for the night on the other side of the fire. Black Dog passed her her food. It was hot and good and the conversation was light and mainly Indian.
Elizabeth loved the night sky. When it was like this, clear and bright. Some didn’t like it because it would mean a cold night ahead. But she didn’t see it like that. She felt it was worth it for the view. You could see for miles and the heavens before them. Black Dog arranged the braves who took turns in guarding her. Carl was not asked. And Elizabeth found slept easy.
Carl could guess what yesterday was about. He knew himself that he was taking more and more of Red Wolfs work. Elizabeth hadn’t liked it and once she’d realised, she’d made her protest. He understood. But going off half cocked, placed her in danger and he couldn’t have that. He was responsible to Ben. He woke her with coffee the next morning and a plate of bacon. biscuits and beans.
He’d cooked. She looked at the plate he held out to her and looked at the others. The braves were eating it too. Taking it she thanked him and sat up.
Elizabeth looked sleepy and adorable. Her hair had come loose of its plait and strands had stuck to her face. As Carl bent down to give her her food, he instinctively reached out and removed the strands away from her face.
It was an intimacy neither of them expected. She looked at him, a little confused.
“Umm thank you.” She told him taking the plate. “For the food.” She finished.
Carl grinned. “No problem mam. I am not trying to take anyone’s place, just doing my job.” And went back to dishing up for himself and Black Dog.
Elizabeth watched from her bedroll and tucked into her meal. Carl got on well with the braves and that was another surprise to her. He had also learnt some sign language. Elizabeth frowned. She’d heard what he’d said but his actions kept telling her he WAS taking his place. What was he trying to prove? Elizabeth ate briskly. Washed up and got ready for the day. As she was saddling Patches, Carl came to her.
“Elizabeth, Ben asked if we could follow the herd down the northern boundary and check for loses.”
“Ok, sounds good.” Elizabeth called to Black Dog and explained the orders. They mounted and started to move out.
Again, Carl had used her given name. That too unsettled her. It seemed ….too personal. Elizabeth decided then and there that it was going to be all business from now on. She mounted and they rode hard reaching the herd early. The morning was spent checking and herding the stock and by lunch, Carl was offering biscuits and fruit to eat.
He just kept doing it, her brain wanted to scream. It bothered her, she couldn’t help it. Signalling Black Dog, he approached, and she signed for the push for home. He nodded his agreement and turned to inform the braves.
Carl watched from his horse. It was clear what was happening, but no one told him. At the last moment, Black Dog realised that Elizabeth was not going to talk to Carl and they would need his help. Riding over, Black Dog signed for Carl. He nodded and turned to ride.
Elizabeth knew Black Dog to not be a particularly patient man. So when he came riding at her fast, she knew she was in trouble.
“Carl.” He indicated with his chin. “Good man.”
“Yes.” said Elizabeth.
“We need him. You work with him or No more.” Black Dog threw out his arm in a disgusted gesture.
Elizabeth felt three years old again being told off for being stupid around the stock. And he was right. She was but couldn’t seem to stop. She looked at her old friend.
“You are right. I apologise. I do not like that he takes my brothers place. My behaviour has been poor towards him. I will fix it.” Black Dog huffed.
She could he wasn’t sure she would, but he turned and rode out. The day passed in hard work. They reached the ranch stockade by dinner. Elizabeth felt exhausted. She signed to Black Dog to secure the animals and she went straight towards the house.
As she passed Carl she called out to him.
“Good night Carl, thanks for your help today.”
“That’s it?” He called after her, this time Elizabeth stopped, she was tired, and he annoyed the hell out of her with that tone.
“Mam, you’ve not spoken to me all day and failed to give me instruction, in fact, you ignored me for most of the day and in this business, that’s dangerous.” Elizabeth stared at him. He had told her about the same as Black Dog had earlier. For a moment she felt like shouting and screaming and asking him what business it was of his. That he should leave and never come back. But common sense prevailed. He was right. They both were. A
nd she knew she had once again acted badly.
Exhausted, Elizabeth just let go.
“Carl, I don’t mind telling you, lately I find you….” She thought for a moment of how to say it. “Unsettling. I am glad that you fit in well here and that you have found a place at the Double T. You’re a good worker, I think a good man but the role you have taken on, seems more and more Red Wolfs. I’m finding that hard to come to terms with. Nothing personal.”
She said it looking at him hoping he heard the sincerity in it. Carl smiled at her. Elizabeth couldn’t believe he found this amusing. She had to admit, he did look handsome with mischief in that moment. It was kind of …….cute.
“Nothing personal mam?” He challenged. “That’s exactly what it is.” He smiled broadly now. Elizabeth frowned. She was confused. Carl tipped his hat to her, turned his horse and headed for the choral whistling. Elizabeth realised a little late, that she might have said more than she’d intended.
Elizabeth sighed. Would she never get this right? She turned Patches and rode over to the house. Dismounting, Joe took her horse from her. She thanked him warily walking up the step into White Dove’s welcomed. Elizabeth gave her a hug and asked about a bath. White Dove smiled.
She knew Elizabeth by now and informed her that it was waiting for her. Elizabeth gave her a squeeze and headed upstairs for her things. She undressed in the bathroom and sank into the hot water and preceded to wash away the last couple of days. She wished that all of her problems could be so easily removed.
Not until that moment did she realise how much she ached and how much she needed the hot water to revive her. Its soothing and calming effects soon made her feel drowsy. Finding herself in danger of falling asleep, Elizabeth finished washing quickly and got out of the water drying herself roughly.
Wrapping her hair up. She stepped into her robe and headed for her room. It was warm night with another welcoming cool breeze from the window. Elizabeth laid down and covered herself with the bedspread. She fell instantly asleep.
***
She woke well past the dinner hour. They must have let her sleep, she thought. By the darkness of the room and the quietness of the house, it was late. She lay there on the bed, the moonlight showering her room.
Elizabeth felt hot and threw off the bedspread. Her robe had opened in her sleep and she laid there semi naked, her robe held loosely by the waist tie. It barely covered anything any longer. Elizabeth thought she heard an intake of breath. Was someone in the room? She moved to cover herself and light the lamp.
“Don’t.” she heard. There was no mistaking his voice. She turned to face it. Slowly she became aware of his outline as he moved out of the shadow. Elizabeth suddenly had the distinct feeling this was not the first time he’d been in her room during the night and that knowledge both filled her with excitement and anxiety.
Elizabeth was half sitting up. Both legs were clear of her robe and it was only held loosely at her waist. Her breasts were only partially covered and her arousal at his presence was evident through the light silk. Elizabeth felt embarrassed.
Elizabeth was completely unaware that she was fully illuminated by the moonlight from the window. Virtually naked and open to him. Her body glistened, the silk rustled, and he could almost taste her scent. He dare not move.
“Will you not come to me.” She whispered innocently. “I have missed you.” She stretched out her hand to him.
He moved slowly forward. “I did not mean to wake you,” he told her. “I should not stay.” He spoke as he neared her bed unable to stop himself from gazing on all that beauty.
“But you are here now, stay,” she pleaded. Not understanding the sudden need in her to hold him. He came within inches of her outstretched hand.
Red Wolf was reminded of how much her body had changed over the past few months. “Will you not take my hand brother?” She pleaded.
Red Wolf stood quietly for a longest time and the space between them seemed like an eternity. Finally, he found his voice and spoke.
“Esa, if I touch you, it would not be as your brother and I may not be able to stop.” Elizabeth held her breath.
Confusion raked her. She desperately wanted to touch him and have him touch her. She was so close to asking him, that it scared her beyond measure. She was not stupid. Having him touch her would lead to other things. He’d just said as much. Things, she was not sure she was ready for. She body was on fire. She was hot. An aching sensation bombarded her lower body. She felt wet in places she did not want to think about. Her emotions crossed her face.
Red Wolf could see she was struggling with her decision, it was clear on her face. It had been months and she still could not decide. So he made it for her. He turned and headed for the window he had entered several hours before. Elizabeth realised he was leaving.
“No please.” She called after him as he reached the window. He turned to face her. His own emotions on edge. His need of her evident in his eyes.
“It is yes or it is no, Esa, it cannot be both.” He waited for a moment longer then left her room. As he did so, he heard her call out in despair.
“No, don’t leave me. I need you.” He did not turn back, he knew he could not. She had to make the choice for herself. She had to be sure. No doubts. No questions. She needed to be determined in her decision. She would need that to fight for them. They both would. And he knew, he would not wait forever.
***
She woke next morning to find Red Wolf at the breakfast table. If she thought about it. It was not unexpected and there was no hint of the night before and he did not acknowledge her. Great, she thought, back to the not talking. He was talking to Ben and White Dove.
“Good morning.” Elizabeth called to them as she came down the stairs to join them. They turned to greet her. Elizabeth came to the table kissed Ben and White Dove and joined them.
“Red Wolf, has come with an invitation to visit your father, he has requested that you come to him instead of the journey here.” Ben told her.
Elizabeth frowned. “Is he not well?” She asked Red Wolf.
“He is not as strong as he once was.” Elizabeth was shocked. Her Indian father was always in good health and a strong man.
“Then I must go, Ben could we arrange for the summer gifts and take them with us.”
“I cannot go Elizabeth.” Ben answered her. “I have stock to get to market and the trail must start soon, you will have to go. White Dove can go with you.” He reminded her.
“Ok, the sooner the better, we can stay for the harvest.” She said smiling aloud.
“You can stay for the weeks we are away, the boys can look after the house.” Ben told her.
“Sounds great.” Elizabeth said enthusiastically. “We can make plans after breakfast.” She rubbed her hands together. “I’m starving let’s eat.” She smiled happily. She hadn’t felt this good in months.
Throughout breakfast ideas and packing needs were discussed. Elizabeth could not help but think that she would see more of Red Wolf at the village. Senior hands came into the house for breakfast and instructions as plans were made. Carl was asked to come in. When Carl walked in he was not surprised to see Red Wolf at the table.
Ben talked directly to him. “Carl, I’m to start the trail in the next few days and Elizabeth is to go to see her father, she will be under his protection, so will not need you in that role.” At this Red Wolf looked directly at him. Ben continued.
“I would welcome you staying here and keeping an eye on the place in our absence, could you do that?“
“Yes sir, happy to do it.”
“Good lad.” Ben replied, as White Dove remembered something. “Ben, Esa has no clan if you do not go. If Jake and the older hands are to stay, who will go with Esa, she cannot go alone, it is tradition.”
“Shoot.” Thought Ben rubbing his face. “I forgot that, its different if your father comes here Esa, but to go there, you remember how it must be.” Elizabeth nodded.
White Dove looked
directly at Carl and remembered that he had spent most of the summer with Elizabeth and her men. They respected him, and he was not one for taking her orders without question. If she could not go with the older hands as they were needed, and Jake was not up to the journey. It’s possible that Carl could do it she reasoned. Carl became a little uncomfortable under her gaze.
Ben picked up on the look White Dove was firing at Carl and understood.
“Carl, change of plan, Elizabeth needs an escort to the Indian village, she will need someone to stay with her while there, share her space and act as her guardian. It’s an honorary role. You won’t need to do anything but be with her.”
Elizabeth jumped to her feet. “You have got to be joking Ben. I don’t need a guardian and I will not take Carl.” They all stared at her. Her outburst was unreasonable and not warranted. And knew that the moment she did it.
“Esa, our options are limited and if Carl is willing to do it, I will be indebted to him.” Ben answered her. Red Wolf rose from the table.
Esa was acting strange over the male Carl. She protested way too much over Carls presence, in what was nothing more than a ritual. He didn’t like it. They would have to spend a lot of time together in close company in the village. He wasn’t particularly happy about the amount of time they’d spent together in the last four months either. To his credit, Carl stood his ground as he approached.
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