Always

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by Jessie Rose Case


  That done he took out some breakfast items. Took some for himself and left some out for Elizabeth to find when she woke. He headed back to the river. They’d fish for their dinner.

  When Elizabeth woke, she found herself alone. She knew he wouldn’t be far. She roused herself and made her bed and found the breakfast things he’d left for her and a pot of coffee still hot. Elizabeth poured her coffee and sat and ate. Walking over to the horses, she saw they were well cared for and rubbed Patches and Carls horse in hello.

  Elizabeth looked around her and saw him in the creek. Carl had caught one fish and was sitting on the bank with his rod in the water teasing for another. She crept up on him and touched his shoulder.

  Carl didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Elizabeth sat down next to him. “Can I help?” she asked.

  “Sure, do you know how to fish?”

  “It’s been awhile, but I think I remember.” She smiled. She looked happier than he’d seen her in days. Carl gave her his rod while he made one up for her. He passed it to her and took his own. They sat for the rest of the morning fishing.

  Although Carl wasn’t really sure you could call what Elizabeth did as fishing. But from time to time he caught something and once, so did she.

  Elizabeth squealed with delight when her rod twitched, a fish on the other end. Carl helped her reel it in and took it off its hook for her.

  Elizabeth was in peals of laughter as the fish jumped about. She clapped and laughed and enjoyed herself for the first time in days.

  The time passed quickly. Before they knew it, it was well passed lunch time and heading towards dinner. Elizabeth started to get hungry but didn’t want to disrupt the good day they were having.

  Carl didn’t want to break the spell. He resolved himself to carry on until she’d had enough. As the sun began to set, he realised he was going to have to call it a day.

  “I think it’s time for dinner.” He told her. “How about fish?” he asked. Lifting their booty smiling.

  “Sounds perfect.” Elizabeth answered and they both got up and headed back to their camp.

  Carl cleaned the fish and Elizabeth went in search of fire wood. When Carl came back with the cleaned fish, Elizabeth was making up the fire. Carl was surprised.

  “I didn’t know you could make a fire Elizabeth?”

  She laughed. “Well don’t look so surprised.” She told him. “I was brought up on a ranch remember and had years as the daughter of a tribe.”

  Carl smiled. “How could I forget.” He said teasingly. He moved to the fire and began to set up a rack to put the fish on. He took some herbs from their saddle bags and other makings and began to cook dinner.

  The smell of fresh cooked fish permeated the air. She was starving. It was killing her, her mouth-watering. Elizabeth made herself busy by making some fresh coffee. As she started to pour two cups, Carl turned to her.

  “It’s ready.”

  “Thank goodness.” she told him. “I was ready to eat it raw, I’m starving.”

  Carl had made some beans and biscuits to go with the fish. He remembered he’d brought some fruit and nuts with them from the village for later and sat down to eat.

  Elizabeth ate the lot and asked for seconds. Carl was eager to give her more and smiled as he watched her enjoy the first, real meal she’d had in days.

  After dinner, Elizabeth again took the dishes and went to clean them up. Carl as before made more coffee and settled back to enjoy it. The evening was warm with its usual cool breeze. The rippling movement of the water just beyond, lulling him. It seemed perfect. He closed his eyes and listened to the world move about him. Carl heard Elizabeth coming back long before he could see her.

  Her foot steps were light and she was humming. Carl smiled. She’d been hurt alright, but she was mending. It was a step in the right direction. Elizabeth put the things away and joined Carl with her coffee.

  “I had a good day today.” She told him.

  “Me too.” Nothing more needed to be said by either of them. They settled down and shortly Elizabeth told him ‘good night.’ And got inside her bed roll. Carl laid awake for some time after and eventually gave in to sleep.

  Unsure after the night before. Carl moved his bed slightly to one side.

  “Where’re you going?” she asked him.

  Elizabeth was clearly not as asleep as Carl had thought. Carl cleared his throat and looked at her.

  “Last night, we became entangled in our sleep, I thought it better to move away a little.” He replied.

  Elizabeth continued to look back at him. “Would that be so bad Carl?” she asked him. Carl looked away from her. Not sure what to say.

  “Not so bad if you were my woman Elizabeth, but you’re not are you?” He answered honestly.

  Elizabeth swallowed hard, she was in pain and just needed to be wanted.

  “I could be,” she whispered. Carl shook his head recognising it for what it was. Want and need. A desperation to feel whole. It was her pain speaking. He’d seen it in himself many times and chose not to hear her.

  “For now, while we are here, sleep by me.” She pleaded. Carl for all his good intentions, was never going to be able to say no. He moved his bed back but not as close. It gave a bit more distance. He couldn’t deal with waking with her in his arms or him in hers. He laid down and let out a long breath. Elizabeth moved across to him laying on her front.

  “Carl,” she asked softly. “If I touch you, would that be ok.”

  Carl swallowed hard. How was he to ignore this woman? Moving his arm aside he encircled her in it. Elizabeth lay across him with her head on his chest and her arm resting on his shoulder. She was asleep in no time.

  This became the pattern for their trip. They walked or fished in the morning. Rode or hunted in the afternoons. Made dinner together and Elizabeth fell asleep beside him. Carl had to reminded himself every day, it wasn’t real. The trouble was, he was seriously in danger of believing it. He wanted to believe it. That they were the only two people in the world. That she belonged to him.

  But it wasn’t true. And he knew it. The morning of the fourth day Carl woke early. Something felt wrong. Elizabeth was laying entwined with him. There was nothing sexual about it as far as they were concerned. Carl knew it was comfort she sought, but to an outsider, it would look intimate. Carl untangled himself from her. As he had each morning, covered her and made up the fire.

  As he did so, he realised they weren’t alone. Carl reached for his guns. He’d never left them far from his bedroll. He stood and looked about. In the clearing to the left of their camp, was Red Wolf.

  He was mounted and alone. He couldn’t have missed their sleeping arrangements. Part of Carl had expected him. He knew he’d come looking for her sooner or later. He acknowledged him and walked over.

  “Is Elizabeth alright?” Red Wolf asked him.

  “She will be, she’s better.” Carl answered.

  There was silence between them.

  “The two of you?” Red Wolf asked eventually.

  Carl looked at him. “That is something you should ask Elizabeth.”

  Red Wolf nodded. “Our father asks for her.” He rode off.

  Carl walked back to their camp. Made breakfast and waited for Elizabeth to wake. As she did. Carl told her she was wanted by her father. Elizabeth didn’t ask who had told him. He guessed she knew. Their time together was over. The real world had come crashing in and it was time to go back to it.

  They ate, then packed and rode for the village.

  Red Wolf came into village a couple of hours before Carl and Elizabeth would. He went straight to White Dove. And found her in the company of friends and excused her. Once alone, Red Wolf demanded answers.

  “Are Carl and Elizabeth together?”

  White Dove would not be bullied by her younger cousin. “They were not when they left, his job is to protect her,” she told him sharply.

  “Does that include sleeping with her.” He spat in anger.
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  White Dove looked at him.

  “You dishonour her and yourself with your jealousy.” She walked away from him. Red Wolf thought he would go mad. The thought of Elizabeth with another man. It had driven him crazy on the entire journey home. He would not be able to see them together. He would go to his father and ask to leave and prepare for the Harvest.

  Red Wolf reported that Elizabeth was better and on her way home. Then asked for permission to leave the village and prepare for Harvest. His father although surprised, agreed.

  Red Wolf made ready to leave. He was gone by the time Elizabeth rode back into the village. She went straight to her father as was expected.

  “Child, you are better?” he asked her. “Yes thank you father.”

  “I asked for your return as I wanted to discuss Running Elks wedding and the Harvest. You have a role to pay in those things and it’s important that you are here.” He spoke eagerly to her.

  “Yes father. What would you like me to do?” She listened to all he told her and agreed on how she could help him. Elizabeth thanked her father and went about the work he had for her, looking for those to help.

  Red Wolf had said his goodbyes to his brother before leaving. Running Elk understood why. White Dove wasn’t the only one concerned for both of them.

  She ran into him on her way to seeing White Dove. Calling to her he spoke.

  “Sister, how are you feeling?” Elizabeth hugged him on catching up with him.

  “I am well brother.”

  “Good, I am happy to hear it. My family seem to be coming and going. You have only returned and now Red Wolf has gone to make ready for the Harvest. He will be back in a few days.” He told her.

  Elizabeth expressed a real sense of relief. She wasn’t ready to see him yet. “So, she asked him. “Your wedding. Father has asked me to help. What can I do.” Together they made their way to White Dove and all three worked on their plans for the wedding.

  By the time White Dove and Elizabeth got back to the tepee, Carl had stowed away their belongings from the trip and was seeing to the horses. Black Dog came looking for him.

  “Tomorrow we hunt, you come.” He told him.

  Carl was glad to see him.

  “Thank you, I’d like that.” Black Dog slapped him on the back and returned the way he’d come. Carl finished with the horses and went looking for Elizabeth.

  He entered their home to find White Dove, Elizabeth and Running Elk in deep conversation. They acknowledged his arrival and continued with their business. Carl listened with interest. It was going to be a huge wedding. Both White Dove and Elizabeth would have lead roles in it as part of Running Elks family.

  Carl was rather relieved he would not be involved. He was beginning to feel that his involvement in Dull Knifes family was already enough.

  As night drew in Running Elk made his excuses and left. White Dove prepared dinner with Elizabeth’s help and before long, they were all sitting down to eat. Conversation was light. Mainly about the wedding and Carl felt unconnected to it.

  He thanked them for the food and announced that he was going for a walk. Carl strolled around the edge of the village and was gone for several hours. He felt he needed some time to understand what was going on with him and Elizabeth.

  Being near her only made matters worse, he cared for her but he wasn’t sure if it was more. He found it impossible to think clearly around her and needed some space and time.

  Running Elk left them soon after too. Finally alone, White Dove took the opportunity to talk to Elizabeth.

  “I saw Red Wolf before he left.” White Dove told her.

  “He said something strange, he mentioned that he had seen you with Carl.” Elizabeth smiled.

  “I think everyone knew that.” She replied innocently.

  “No.” White Dove continued. “That is not what he meant Esa. Red Wolf felt you were Carls woman. Have you any idea why, he would think that?” White Dove asked her.

  Elizabeth went a little pale, frowning.

  “I’m not sure, but I expect he saw us together and thought it was more than it was. Carl was good to me while we were away. I needed to be with someone. Needed to be close, I asked him to do that for me. No demands, no expectations, just company. I don’t think I could have got through the last few days without him.” Elizabeth answered her.

  White Dove looked at her niece.

  “Esa, is there anything that your uncle or father should be concerned about.” Elizabeth felt like laughing, she shook her head. She’d allowed Red Wolf to lick and suckle at one of her most intimate of places, he’d had his hand in side her, bringing her unimaginable pleasure and she‘d stood openly naked before him, willing him, asking him, begging him to take her, and White Dove was asking about Carl? It was truly laughable.

  “No, White Dove, Carl and I are friends, he comforted me that’s is all. There was nothing intimate about it.” Elizabeth had conveniently dismissed her own naked episode with Carl and her reactions to it. White Dove accepted her answer and dropped the subject much to Elizabeth’s relief.

  As they finished the dinner things, White Dove announced that she was going to see friends and would be back later. Elizabeth asked her to say hello for her and wished her good night. Then Elizabeth was alone, nothing to stop her thoughts running through her mind.

  All the things that had happened since she’d come home. Elizabeth recalled the moment she had first seen Red Wolf again outside the stage post. The sight of him, had taken her breath away. It had felt so right, so natural him coming for her. And it seemed she’d been waiting all her life for him, just for that moment.

  Suddenly her tears over came her and that’s how Carl found her. Slumped in a corner with tears running down her face.

  Carl rushed over to her.

  “Elizabeth don’t.” Without knowing or asking why she was crying, it didn’t matter to him, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. It broke him to see her like this.

  When White Dove came back it was late. She entered the tepee quietly. Carl and Elizabeth were asleep. He was still holding her. It raised more questions about their relationship, but White Dove let it go. Tomorrow would be soon enough.

  Carl woke early as usual. Elizabeth was lying next to him. He got up quietly and went outside. White Dove was working at the fire. Black Dog approached him.

  “We go hunt, come.” Carl, touched White Doves shoulder.

  “She still sleeps, I don’t know what upset her last night, but I came back and she was crying.” He told her.

  White Dove looked at him. “I will see to her today.” Carl smiled gratefully at her and he was gone.

  Carl followed Black Dog across the compound to their horses. Part of him was grateful that he wouldn’t have to think too much about last night or the days he’d spent with her. Their party was made up of the men he knew. Black Dogs braves. They had makings for two days they told him. Carl suddenly realised that he would be gone for a couple of days. He filled his water bottles and mounted. He hoped Black Dog had told White Dove, but knew instinctively that she would know anyway.

  Elizabeth woke sometime later. And realised it was late and she was alone. She made quick work of straightening up inside. Then went out looking for everyone. White Dove was sitting by the fire talking to friends.

  Elizabeth said good morning to them. Some she knew very well. They exchanged pleasantries and news and soon left the two of them alone.

  Elizabeth could see White Dove had something on her mind.

  “Is there something wrong White Dove.” She asked.

  “Esa, I came back last night, and Carl was physically comforting you, you were asleep together.” She told her gently.

  Elizabeth was sure she looked as embarrassed as she felt.

  “I did not intend for it to happen, I became distressed after you left, Carl found me crying and held me. Nothing more,” she told her.

  White Dove frowned. “Nothing more as far as you are concerned Esa, maybe, for C
arl, he has feelings for you.” Elizabeth looked shocked. Carl had feelings for her? When did that happen. He had spent all their time keeping his distance. Trying to give her space. Was that why she wondered?

  “Is it fair to him, if your love is elsewhere.” She asked her.

  “My love?” Elizabeth repeated her anger catching her.

  “I have no love, White Dove, he belongs to someone else.”

  Before White Dove could respond, Elizabeth got up and walked away. She spent the day seeing old friends, playing with their children and talking with Running Elk, Clear Water and Dull Knife about the wedding and tribal life. No one mentioned Red Wolf and his rejection of Grey Owls daughter.

  For the villagers, it was a family thing and the family, choose to ignore it, each for different reasons.

  As she made dinner White Dove let Elizabeth know it would just be the two of them for a couple of days. Black Dog having taken Carl hunting. Elizabeth was happy for him.

  They ate in silence and the evening passed in quiet female company. Elizabeth turned in early and found to her surprise, she missed Carl. Elizabeth didn’t know what to think about that, any more than she did about Red Wolf.

 

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