Red Wolf swallowed hard. “I have tried father.” He told him. Dull Knife nodded and touched his arm. “I know son, but it is not enough, it is time you made a choice,” he told him.
Red Wolf looked at his father. He was offering him a choice. Was it not too late for that?
“Father, the council of elders made it clear what they want from Esa. A blood bond.”
“Yes, my son, but that cannot be you, you are already married, and you cannot break that without bringing shame on us and you will never be able to lead.”
Red Wolf hung his head, his father was right. He had failed his father. Elizabeth had asked him to let her go and he had not. He had failed her too. Sky had asked him to be her husband and he had not. He’d failed her as well. His father was now asking him to be the warrior he should be and lead his people, it was time he did what was expected of him. It wasn’t much of a choice after all.
“I understand father.” He told him and went in search of his wife.
He found her sitting beside the stream. He sat down with her. “Do you want me Sky?” he asked her honestly. “After everything, do you still want to be my wife?”
Sky looked at him. Red Wolf knew she had loved him, but since their marriage, he no longer knew.
“I do not know.” She answered truthfully. It was Red Wolf turn to be silent.
Sky had to make this choice he had done enough.
“Do you want me as a wife?” she asked him. Red Wolf knew he could have lied, but there had been enough deception and he would not do it.
“Since I was 14 years old, I have only ever loved one women, I cannot get her out of my blood, I have tried.” He said turning to look at her. “I did try.” He told her earnestly.
She nodded. “I know. I knew before I married you, seeing you together, it never felt like a brother, loving his sister, we make excuses, say it is the difference in blood that bonds you closer and the way she came into our tribe, but a woman who shares that affection knows.” She told him.
“And you still married me?” he asked her.
She smiled at him sadly. “I wanted you to love me like that. Have that passion for me and be the next Chiefs wife. Duty and honour.” She told him. And there is was, duty and honour.
Then, so be it.
They agreed, the would both try, start again. He would stay away from the ranch. Start to lead the people and in time, they both hoped, he would learn to love her.
White Dove brought the news to Elizabeth on a trip out to see her. She arrived at the Double T and asked to stay a while. Elizabeth happily agreed. They sat on the terrace swing and White Dove had held her hand. She explained that Red Wolf had sort her out and explained it all to her.
In doing so, he asked that she go to Elizabeth and tell her what he had done. That he would do what she and their father had wished, he’d let her go.
Elizabeth closed her eyes on hearing it, trying to get passed the lump in her throat. She had been expecting it. And it hurt no less for hearing it now. White Dove held her and let her weep. Elizabeth again found herself grieving for what she had lost.
This time, it was easier. It had come as no big surprise to her that in the end, Red Wolf had chosen duty over love.
***
She got up the next day and went back to work and White Dove was there waiting for her each time she returned. Caroline and Kate came to visit on their usual day, as did Vera on occasion.
Vera had struck a business relationship with Mr. Chan and it was proving to be beneficial all round. Caroline had talked about how close Mr. Chan Jr seemed to be with Vera. Elizabeth was happy for them. The curtains and rugs she’d ordered were now displayed to great effect around the house and the Chans were providing the fabrics for the bride. They had a number of excellent tailors that Vera was using to full effect.
She kept herself busy, went to town each week and met with what was now The Brownsville Town Board. She’d been voted in in her absence as Chair and this time, had accepted it. They’d told her they wouldn’t do it without her.
They discussed the Trelawney loans, the towns businesses and new opportunities. Elizabeth voted Mr. Chan Sr onto the board. Some of the others were not so happy about the nomination. Elizabeth explained that all and any business in the town needed to be present. Only then would they all benefit. She got her way without declaring her interest and an invitation was sent out and accepted. And wherever she went, Black Dog and his braves followed. She was never alone.
Carl came home along with the new beef and sheep stock. He was tired and glad to be back. Elizabeth watched them ride slowly into the yard. She had been waiting for them excitedly having been alerted of their arrival.
“Welcome home stranger.” She called out to him with a big grin as he came up to the house. As he dismounted and came up the steps she hugged him. “It’s good to see you,” she told him and meant it.
“Thanks, what’d I miss?” he asked her. Elizabeth smiled. “Not much, come on, I’ll get you a drink.” And she led him in, she could feel the night’s drawing in and it was getting colder.
Over the next month, Elizabeth worked with getting the new beef and sheep stock, out into the pastures with the new winter shelters. They were stocked with feed and water to last a good three months should the snows be heavy. The men had orders to keep replenishing it daily until the snows arrived. By then she hoped the cows and sheep would be used to finding their food and shelter there and remain until it thawed.
Carl came to dinner most nights. Their free and easy routine back in place. They would talk about their day, the work, hands and stock. Whenever something particularly bothered him, he would contemplate it before discussion it with her.
This night he had some concerns the hands had raised with him over the new beef and sheep stock Some felt they would not last out the winter and should be sheltered, fearing they were not tough enough.
Elizabeth had heard the stores of the winters in Scotland and Ireland. It was harsh. They could not be housed each winter. They had to make it on their own. She believed it would work and the mix of both breeds would make a more marketable product come next season. If this came off, the Double T stood to make a lot of money. Elizabeth felt sure, this was the future of the beef industry.
Running Elk with Blue, kept her informed of the horses, they were doing well. They had several breeding possibilities lined up and had already started the stud work. Elizabeth was keen to see how the mix of the Arabians and Spanish Blacks came out. She thought they would be wonderful animals. If highly strung.
When Kate and Caroline came next, it was to welcome news, Kate and Blues house was ready. Kate had spent much of the time she visited, working on how she wanted it. She was very proud of it. Kate announced that they would be married in a month. There was only one problem, her parents wanted a church wedding but Blue being more Indian than white did not and Kate just wanted him.
Elizabeth offered a compromise, her gift to them, to hold the wedding at the Double T. The Preacher, would come out and do it she told them. Kate was stunned at her generosity and thanked her. Holding the wedding at the Double T meant that it could take any form they wished, and it would be the compromise to suit all. Kate was deliriously happy. She exclaimed it was a marvellous idea and made everyone happy.
Elizabeth said her goodbyes to her friends, seeing them off. She felt very tired off of a sudden. White Dove came to say goodnight.
“I wish you could make yourself as happy as you make others.” She told her hugging her. Elizabeth just smiled.
“Sleep well.”
The month passed quickly. The house was taken over by the bride and her family. The preparations took over ranching and the house. It was gradually converted in wedding fever. With a couple of weeks to Christmas. The house took on a magical element. The weather held off for them, just a light scattering of snow on the ground. It added to the magic. The day of the wedding arrived all too soon. The guests arrived by carriage and horse. There were plenty
of them. The whole Town had come out. Mr and Mrs Cane were respected writers.
Dull Knife, Red Wolf, Running Elk and their wives led the Indian wedding party. White Dove welcomed them, and they camped nearby. Elizabeth kept herself busy. When alone, she welcomed her father and spoke of things still to be resolved. She assured him she had not forgotten and wished that he was feeling better.
Dull Knife embraced his daughter. Thanked her and told her how happy she had made Blue.
She’d gone through the motions. Feeling numb. She could find no pleasure in it. She plastered on a fake smile and carried on. She sat with her father for a while until Red Wolf and Running Elk were heading over. Then left him and told him she would see him again soon.
She walked to White Dove who was speaking with Clear Water who was very pregnant, Elizabeth gave her a seat and a pang hit her. She desperately tried to ignore it. Next to her was Sky. Elizabeth offered them the welcome of family but did not stay. It was far too painful for her.
Carl found her in the stables stroking Patches. She was not hard to find. Black Dog was outside.
“Everything ok?” he asked her. Elizabeth ignored the question, it was easier.
“I just wanted to check on the horses.” She told him. Both knew it was not entirely the truth but let it go. After a while he reminded her she couldn’t stay outside for long.
“You can’t hide here for long. Guests will be asking for you.”
“I was hoping to avoid today as much as possible.” She told him feeling stupid.
“I can understand that.”
“You know Carl, I sometimes think you understand too much.” She told him smiling.
He smiled back at her. “Just as well one of us does.”
He led her back and party went on for hours. Elizabeth danced with many of the guests. Nearly everyone from town seemed to be there. Vera enjoyed herself greatly. Carl too asked for a dance, but she declined. Stating she was feeling very tired and Caroline was standing in for her. Elizabeth asked him to do her the honour of dancing with one of her best friends and held out Caroline’s hand.
Carl took it, he liked Caroline and led her to the dance floor. Elizabeth could hear him telling her, as they walked away, how badly he did this and hoped that he would not break any of her toes. Caroline smiled telling him she would happily nurse him better. Elizabeth thought they looked good together.
The Indians continued to celebrate well into the next day. Kate and Blue left in the early hours and retired to their new home. Once Elizabeth had joined with the others to wish the newlyweds well on their way, she too gave her goodbyes. Telling them all to stay as long as they wanted, she went up to the house. Elizabeth stopped at the door, listening to the sounds around her.
The ranch was full and lively. There were some very happy people here this night. Elizabeth smiled, she had done a good thing and instinctively knew Black Dog was behind her.
He had been hovering all night and none too happy with some of her dance partners, she recalled. He would not normally come into the house, but strangers were still here. His job was not done. Elizabeth suddenly felt exhausted, drained and she was sure her eyes showed the strain. Black Dog unusually held out his arm to her. She took it and looked at him.
He missed nothing and understood too much she thought.
“I do not wish to see anyone.” She told him, he nodded understanding her clearly. He opened the door and led her through and up the stairs. Then sat down outside her door. She looked down on him and walked through into her room.
She woke sometime later to voices, Indian voices, they were both quiet, both insistent. It did not last long and seemed to be over as quickly as it had started. She had not been disturbed and drifted back to sleep. She slept for more than twelve hours before finally waking. She struggled to pull herself from her sleep and it was quite an effort to come down. Black Dog had gone as had her guests. The house was quiet. It was Sunday. There would be no visitors today. And she was glad of it.
She found White Dove out by the horses.
“Good morning,” she called to her. White Dove turned to her.
“Esa, are you ill?” she asked her with concern looking her over.
“No, I’m fine.” She told her.
“I was getting worried but Black Dog said you were well. You slept long.”
“I was tired that’s all.” She told her. “Our guests have left?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Elizabeth brightened. “I’m starving let’s go in, its cold and have some lunch.” Elizabeth linked arms with White Dove and led her in.
They got their own meal and took it to the table. Elizabeth went back to the kitchen and poured milk for them both.
She ate hungrily. White Dove was first to break the silence.
“Black Dog tells me you had a visitor last night.” Elizabeth frowned, they had had lots of visitors last night. Then realised her mistake.
“I had already told him I did not wish to see anyone.” White Dove nodded. Elizabeth did not need to know who the visitor was.
Elizabeth put her food down, suddenly no longer hungry and pushed her plate away. She took a deep breath. A fleeting feeling of sickness hit her. She paused and breathed deep. To speak the words only brought them to life and made it harder but she did so anyway.
“I wake, every morning waiting for the pain, the realisation, that my life is not what it should be. Some days I get as far as coming down for breakfast, other times it hits me before I’m fully awake, those are the bad days. The days it’s hard to get up and get out of bed but I do, I keep getting up and carrying on as normal. Like, I’m normal, but inside….” She looked at White Dove with tears in her eyes. “Part of me is dying.” White Dove reached across and took her hand.
If anyone knew how she felt it was her.
“You loved him.” White Dove told her simply. Elizabeth closed her eyes.
“Always.”
***
Carl popped his head in at that moment. “Sorry ladies. I need you Elizabeth, do you have a moment?” he asked her. Elizabeth returned White Dove’s caress and went after him.
“Problem?” she asked him.
“No, not really, I’d like some time off, can you do without me for a few days?”
“Sure, anything I can help with?” she asked him.
“Thanks but no, I just need to do something, its personal.”
“When do you want to go?”
“Tomorrow if that’s ok I’ll ask Buddy to double up and some of the boys will be happy to help.”
She nodded. If he wanted to tell her he would. “Have a safe trip.” She told him and held out her hand. He took it and held it.
“I’ll see you when you get back.” She told him more calmly than she thought and watched him leave.
Christmas was a week away and Elizabeth was beginning to think that she might be ill after all. She was sleeping longer, tired earlier, she felt ravenous at times and then not hungry at all and nauseous. She felt strange and not herself. Her body ached, and her chest was sensitive. At times she felt drained for no reason. She tried hard to keep this to herself.
There was no point in worrying anyone un-necessarily. She was sure it was nothing serious and would pass. There were plans to make and work to be done. It was traditionally a time of great celebration at the ranch. Her parents had started it. Bringing all the staff together for a party on Christmas Eve and she was determined to continue it.
A large shopping list awaited her. There would be plenty to eat and drink and a present for every person who worked for them. There would also be gifts for the tribe. Elizabeth spent a lot of time making arrangements for these things to be delivered or picked up.
It was only once they started to arrive, she knew Christmas was here. Two of the men had been out and found her a tree. She sent several men to town to secure the supplies and items on her list, she didn’t feel up to going herself and invited Vera to join her.
Vera shut up shop a
nd came back with the wagons and declared that if she wanted her, she could stay till after New Year. Elizabeth was so happy to see her. It was a lovely surprise and there would be plenty to do.
The day before Christmas Eve, Carl came home. He came in at dinner and was asked to join them. They spoke of the coming festival and of the party tomorrow. Dinner was light and entertaining. Vera was full of stories. Elizabeth left the table feeling better than she and for some time.
Carl joined them for a drink after dinner. White Dove declined the drink as was her way.
“You had a good trip?” Elizabeth asked him passing him his drink.
“Yes and no.” He told her.
Elizabeth turned in surprise, she waited for him to continue. He swallowed his drink, “My father was ill.” He told them, Elizabeth sat down. “A letter was brought out by Mr. Jenkins at the wedding. He, died shortly after I arrived home.”
Each of them offered their condolences. “I’ve brought my brother with me.” He told them and turning to Elizabeth. “I hope that’s ok.”
“Of course, he can stay.” She told him. “We always need good hands.”
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