by D. K Lake
He laughs darkly. "Wow. I didn't think you'd have it in you."
"I don't want to do that. Don't make me do that."
"Your sister was there that night Vincent was shot. She'd end up in prison for helping to cover up a murder and for lying to the police."
"Right now, my sister isn't my priority. My baby is my only priority now."
"This is bullshit, Paige. You expect me to be okay with this? You want me to walk away and pretend this is fucking okay?"
"You don't have a choice." I pick up my glass and sip my coke.
We don't talk to each other after that. I try to ignore the way he's staring at me with daggers for eyes. The food arrives and we eat quietly.
"You won't report us to the police." he finally speaks. "You might not get along with your sister, but you'd never do anything to risk her going to prison."
"I'm pretty sure that nutjob she's with would come up with some plan to keep her out of prison and get his ass put in there instead, but who will keep your ass out of prison? No one. Don't push me. I don't want this to be difficult."
"Difficult? You're telling me I can't have anything to do with my baby."
"If it's your baby!"
"Why don't you just get the DNA test now? Why wait until the baby is born? Hell, I'll even pay for it myself. That way if it's not mine, you can run off and play happy families with Maverick. And if it is mine, you’ll still run off - taking another piece of my heart with you. But I know you, P. I know you. The guilt would kill you. That's why you don't want the test. You don't want to find out if it's mine because you don't want to do this, not really. We both know this baby is mine." He thumbs his fist on the table and the cutlery bounces. "This is fucked up, Paige, and you know it."
"I'm done," I throw my napkin on the table. "I'm going to use the bathroom, then I want you to take me back to the garage."
"That's it, run away." he says as I climb out of the booth and beeline for the toilet.
Chapter 19
I use the toilet and wash my hands and spend a minute checking my makeup. I don't even know why. I'm not trying to impress Rio. He makes me so mad. I knew he wouldn't like what I intended to do, but it's what needs to be done. I feel so bad for doing this to him, but what choice do I have? I want to go back in there and tell him we can work it out, that he can be in the baby's life, but I know that can't happen. I don't want to hurt him. I care about him too much, that's why this is so hard for me. Ugh. This is so confusing. My feelings for him are all over the place. Maybe it's my hormones.
I leave the bathroom and find a man waiting outside, leaning against the wall looking at his phone. He looks my way and there's something creepy about the smile he gives me. I quickly look away and pretend to be interested in my phone. I hear a snap and look up with a frown and see him pocketing his phone. Did he just take a picture? I ignore him and keep my head down as I walk past and push the door open. I see Dario waiting at the table and hurry over to him.
"Ready to go?" Dario asks as he tucks his wallet back into his pocket, not bothering to look at me.
"Uh-huh," I glance over my shoulder and see the same leery guy coming out of the bathroom. He looks over at me and our eyes connect for a brief moment before he looks away again, walking out the door.
Now I'm being paranoid, thanks to Mitchel.
Dario walks ahead of me and doesn't even hold the door open for me. The drive back to the garage is an icy one.
"I'm sorry. I really am, but you know this is for the best." I say desperately, trying to get him to talk to me. He's ignored me since he climbed in the van. "Say something!" I snap.
"You just want me out of the way so you and Maverick can raise this child without me. Wouldn’t want idiot Boston messing up your perfect life."
"No, you know that's not the reason. I'm trying to do the right thing here."
"This is fucking bullshit. You're not taking my baby." he says angrily, gripping the steering wheel.
"Gawd. It might not even be your baby. I don't even know why I agreed to go to lunch with you, I should have known this would happen."
"Oh, don't pretend you and Maverick haven't been planning to cut me out. I bet he talked you into this and then the pair of you planned this together, you were just waiting for the right moment to spring it on me."
"No, of course not. Maverick didn't talk me into anything. I decided I wanted this all on my own, and Maverick agrees with me."
"Of course he does. He'll agree with anything if it means getting rid of me."
"Just stop it!" I cry. "I didn't want to do this, but you've given me no choice. You're not a good person. You lie and take part in criminal activities, and I don't want my child involved in any of that, not if there's a chance she will end up getting hurt."
"She?"
I shake my head. "I don't know why I said that...it just feels like a girl." Or maybe I want a little girl.
"You can't do this."
"I can. I'm sorry, it's already decided."
"You can't just decide something without asking me about it."
"I'm not asking. I'm telling you this is what's happening."
"So that's it? I don't even get a say in this?" he asks, swinging the van into the garage and hitting the brakes a little too hard. I quickly brace myself on the dash.
"No." I say, shooting him a glare before pushing the door open.
I ignore him and start walking back to the truck. I don't get far before he grabs my arm.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asks, spinning me around.
"Back to the dorms, we're done here."
"No, we're not. You can't just say all that shit to me and then run away. You haven't even given me a chance to change your mind."
"I'm not changing my mind," I shrug him off and he releases me. "I'm raising this baby how I want and with who I want, and you don't get a say in it!" I shout.
I turn my back on him again, march over to the truck, unlock the door, and when I reach over to pull the door shut, he’s already there stopping the door.
"No, you don't get to walk away this time."
"Get off the door!"
"That is my baby inside you, and you know it is. I'm not letting you walk away this time. If you think I'm just going to go along and agree with this, then you've got another think coming. I'm not letting you or this baby go."
"You don't get to tell me what to do!" I yell. "You're a fucking drug dealer." I blurt. "I hate you! I hate everything about you! Now, get the fuck off my door!"
His eyes grow dark as he glances down the street to make sure no one heard me. I push him away from the door and he takes a step back.
"You're a cold-hearted fucking bitch," he growls and slams the door on me, and then storms across the street.
I jam the key in the ignition and pull off as quickly as possible and press my foot on the gas to get away from the garage.
I don't even make it to the end of the street before the tears start to fall. I stop at the turning and scrub my eyes with my sleeve to erase the tears. I feel so guilty. I don't hate him. I never hated him, but he can't be a part of this baby's life. I turn the corner with shaky hands and try to focus on driving. If I can just make it back to the dorm before I break down completely.
I hold it together and make it back to the dorm, checking in the rearview mirror, expecting him to come after me and apologize for what he said. But he's right, I am a cold-hearted bitch. But I need to be for the sake of this baby. I grab my tote bag and practically run back to my dorm room. Once I'm inside, I break down in tears and slide to the floor.
I didn't want to do this. I don't want to do this. I don't have a choice. I told Maverick I want this baby to be his, but I don't think that's true. And if I'm being honest, I don't think this is Maverick's baby. I just have this weird feeling. Call it intuition or whatever, but I know it's Dario's.
Everything is so screwed up. Now Dario will hate me forever and I'm going to have to live with the guilt. He's right, th
e guilt will kill me. I hate this. I hate all of it. I hate that he's involved with the Torres brothers, I hate that they ever came to town and got Dario into the drug business.
I mope around my dorm room for the rest of the day. I text Em updates from lunch to let her know how the conversation with Dario went and she tells me he might come around to the idea. I’m not so sure. She then tells me she’s going out for the rest of the night with Spencer and some of his friends. For once, I'm pleased she's not coming back. I need some time alone to think. I drag myself out of bed at seven and steal two of Em's Pop-Tarts and head downstairs to use the microwave. On the way back, my phone starts ringing. I dig it out of my pocket and see Maverick's name on the screen. I hurry inside and place my Pop-Tarts on the desk to cool down. I take off my boots and call Maverick back.
"Hey, babe. Hope I didn't disturb you?" he says, answering the phone.
"Nope. Just getting dinner,"
"What are you eating?"
"Uh...pasta." I lie, chewing on my lip and looking at the Pop-Tarts, knowing they're not healthy but I can't be bothered to trek across campus to the cafeteria.
"I know what you're like, you'll stay in the dorm if I'm not there to encourage you outside." He chuckles, and I hear voices in the background.
"Where are you? Don't you have a game tonight?"
"Yeah, I'm in the changing room right now. I just thought I'd ring you to check in and see how you're doing."
I fall onto my bed and don't say anything.
"Paige?"
"I..." I let out a loud sigh. "I went to see Dario today," I admit.
"I thought we were going to wait and go together?"
"I know, but I thought it would be better if I went to see him on my own."
There’s a long pause before he finally speaks.
"Okay, but I'm not happy that you went to see him on your own. Are you okay?"
"Not really."
"How did he take it?"
"Um...not great. He called me a cold-hearted bitch."
"Ouch. Did you explain your reasons why?"
"Yes. I told him exactly what we discussed but he wasn't having any of it."
"What did he say?"
"That he's not going to let this go."
"Then he's being selfish. He's not thinking about what's best for the baby. What else did he say?"
"Not much," I lie. I don't want to tell him what Dario had said about me leaving Maverick and letting him take care of me. It would not go down well. "He's convinced this baby is his." I say and stare off out the window at the sunset.
"Of course he is. Any excuse to hold onto you."
I hear someone calling his name in the background.
"Yeah, okay, one sec!" Maverick calls. "Paige?"
"Hmm."
"I'm sorry things didn't go well."
"No, it's okay, it's not your fault."
"Just give him some time to think about it. He might surprise you and come around to the idea."
"If it was you, would you come around to the idea of letting another man raise your baby?"
"I don't think you want to hear that answer."
"Exactly. I don't know what I thought was going to happen when I told him."
"Alright, alright! Babe, I have to go. I'll text you later. I love you,"
"Love you too."
We say goodbye and I sit on my bed feeling sorry for myself, eating Pop-Tarts. It feels cold in the dorm for some reason, so I decide to go take a shower to warm up, and after, I crawl back into bed and set up Em's laptop and browse Netflix. I end up watching some Italian drama called Baby. I get so into it that I can't stop watching, and by midnight I have already watched four episodes.
I glance at the clock. There are only two more episodes left. Eeeek.
I grab my bathrobe and hurry down the hallway to use the bathroom, and then jump back into the bed.
I can catch up on sleep tomorrow, I think, pressing play on the next episode.
Not five minutes have gone by when there’s a thud outside the door.
I ignore it, thinking it might be someone getting back late, but then I hear another thud and it sounds as though it's coming from the other side of my door. I slide the laptop onto the nightstand and pad across the room and press my ear up against the door.
"She's probably asleep," I hear someone hiss.
Sounds familiar.
"Come on, this is a bad idea," someone says, and I recognize it as Spencer's voice. "Em's gonna kill me if she knows I brought you here in this state."
"Just…go." Dario tells him.
I press my hands flat against the door. I should ignore them and put my earbuds in, pretend I never heard them. I rest my forehead on the door, trying to talk myself out of this. I look down at my bare legs. I'm not even dressed properly, wearing a pair of panties and a baggy t-shirt.
"Boston, come on. Get up." Spencer urges and it sounds as though he’s trying to pull Dario off the floor, and another thud hits my door.
I close my eyes and take a moment to breathe before tugging the door open. The light spills into the room from the hallway and Dario lands at my feet on his back from having been sitting with his back against the door. I flash Spencer an annoyed look. He should know better than to bring Dario here. Em will have his nuts.
"Hey, can you keep the noise down, please? Some of us are trying to sleep." some girl three doors down calls.
I look down at Dario laying by my feet with a bottle of vodka in his hand.
"Hey, P." he says, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes.
I put my hand on my hip and scowl at him.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper-shout.
"I missed you," is all he says.
I look back at Spencer.
"I'm sorry. He said if I didn't drive him over here, then he would drive himself, and he's completely wasted." Spencer explains.
"Hello? Can you please leave?" the same girl snaps, standing in her doorway.
"In a fucking minute! Go chill out and play with your vibrator." Spencer says to her.
"Asshole," she mutters and slams her door.
"Get up," I crouch down and help Dario to sit up.
"I'll take him," Spencer crouches down to help me.
"No." Dario slurs as we manage to pull him to his feet.
"You can't stay here," Spencer reminds.
"Fuck off." Dario barks and stumbles over to my bed.
"It's okay, I'll deal with him." I say.
"Are you sure? He's pretty wrecked."
"Yes, we'll be fine. Why is he in such a state?"
Spencer gives me this look.
"He told you?"
"Yeah, he did. He's been drinking all day. I can't do anything with him."
"I'll take care of him, but you'll have to come back and pick him up tomorrow before Maverick gets back."
"He can message me." Spencer nods his head at Dario. "Okay, well, good luck. I better go and find Em, she's probably wondering where I disappeared to." he says and walks off down the hallway.
With a sigh, I slowly close the door.
"Paige," Dario says, his voice breaking.
"What?" I turn around and fold my arms.
"Will you sit with me?" he asks, setting the vodka bottle on the nightstand.
I let out a long breath and stroll over to him as he kicks off his boots.
"You shouldn't be here," I remind, watching as he lays down on the bed and leaves some space for me.
"Don't be mad," he mumbles.
I shake my head and crawl over him and slide into the space between him and the wall. I cross my arms and stare at the ceiling, ignoring him.
"Can I...Fuck. Can I hold you?" he asks hesitantly.
"No." I deadpan.
"Please?"
"Fine." I ground out, giving in.
He moves closer and hooks an arm around my waist and buries his face in my hair.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I didn't mean what I said before."
; "I know. I'm sorry too..."
"No. You were right about what you said before, I was just too stubborn to accept it. I know this baby will be safer with you, and you need to keep her far, far away from me and all my shit."
"Do you mean it?"
He nods and inhales my hair. I don't say anything. His hand slides under my t-shirt and stays there, I don't move it away. I reach under my t-shirt and place my hand over his.
"I love you," he whispers into my hair.
"I love you too." I whisper back into the darkness.
"And I love this baby. Even if it turns out not to be mine, I'll still feel this way because of how I feel about you...but I know it's mine." he adds.
I smile to myself but don't say anything.
He nuzzles up to me again and we lay quietly, soon his breathing changes and he’s asleep.
I reach over and close the laptop and the room darkens. I pull the covers over us and, knowing it's wrong, I still snuggle up next to him. It won't help either of us, but what can I do when he shows up here in this state?
I press my face into his hoodie and breathe him in. He wraps an arm around me in his sleepy state and holds onto me tightly, and I soon fall asleep cocooned in his embrace.
Chapter 20
The door slams and startles me awake.
"Shit. Sorry." Dario apologizes.
"What are you doing?" I rub my eyes, squinting as he crosses the room.
"Just went for a piss." he tells me, stopping at the edge of the bed and sitting down with his back to me.
It's dark and I can't see much, so I reach up and switch on the flower lights.
"What are you doing?" I ask, leaning over to grab my water bottle and gulping down a few mouthfuls, peeking over his shoulder to see him scrolling through this phone.
"Nothing important," he says and drops his cell on the nightstand.
I put my bottle back and he quickly snatches it up and drains most of it. I check the nightstand clock: 2:27 am. Ugh. Too early.
I lay back on the bed and kick the covers down a little because I'm overheated. Dario looks over his shoulder at me and his eyes drift down my body to my bare legs, lingering a little longer on my panties. I shift the covers and pull them over my lower half to stop his wandering eyes, but it doesn’t stop him. His eyes stay on me and drift toward my face and lock with mine. I can see the change in his eyes as they darken, desire swirling in them. I know this isn’t good. I should have known this would happen. I could have said no. I could have told Spencer to get rid of him, but I didn't.