by C.J. Lanet
Big stuff Mr. McCall, or should I call you President Catcher McCall? You know you’ll win this thing. The major public opinion polls have you a clear winner with a possible 76% popularity and 451 electoral votes out of 538. You can hide under a rock for the next nine months and still walk away with the prize.
"Since I’ve been privileged, lucky, whatever you want to call it, people, just plain ordinary people like what I have to said. My critics said I’m a vaudeville performer, bag of wind with radical ideas.”
“True, they call you ‘dangerous Willy’. Even Obama remarked, ‘What’s next roping a steer like Will Rogers?’… You like my impersonation?”
“Yah, I saw it in print. Anyway, what’s wrong with Will Rogers? His thoughts are mine. He wanted Americans to hold frontier values true like kindness to neighbors and social equality at home and no foreign entanglements. Washington said it too and a lot others.”
“Don’t get hot with me. I’m only saying … Anyway, let’s hear it!”
“My message is simple, quickie version for my favorite sidekick. … We live in a small world that’s getting smaller. With over 7 billion people worldwide, the population will hit 12 billion by 2050. Scientific consensus holds the pressure on resources will threat our ecosystem and cause major part of society to protect their perceived interests at the expense of others who may not be fortunate enough to fight back. If global humanity attempt to match what the citizens of the United States consume, we would need seven more planet Earths by 2050.”
“See, I’m getting sleepy.”
“Nancy, fuck it, go!”
“Come on Catcher, I know the score. You’re testing what to said on me?”
“I’m done, good night.”
In the last two weeks editorials from the center, left and right have questioned each of my proposal, that I’m a danger to society, a menace to the common good, a profiteer, a gangster. Only working class Americans has kept the faith, contributing to the campaign, even more so after the death of my friends. Jessamine still wants to be First Lady and pulls hard on her father to keep the checkbook open.
No public appearances are made since the jet incident, but my face is center stage at every level. The tragedy, profiles of friends lost, the pilots, the FAA investigation, even Honda, the manufacturer of the jet that crashed into our plane has received daily media updates. Public opinion polls still have he as the next president. For the past five weeks, I cry in my beer, so to speak. The guilt is eating me alive and either I got off the trip or let it take me. Deciding to go forward is the only clear direction. Too many people are counting on me, and to stop now would brand me a quitter, a loser with the conscience of a parasite.
“If Bob was here, he would said, ‘God sent you to save America,’ me too. But you hear the back alley talk and the scuttlebutt? They want you dead, plain as that. I’m your friend and don’t want you harmed. Let’s face it; your programs will cause a great deal of consternation. MIC, CIA, National Security Council, I’ve named just a few who have a vested interest to maintain the status quo. You are a danger to their livelihoods, their power, their influence. I too am an old geezer with a limited fuse. I pray that you continue Mr. McCall.”
On and on it went without a clear resolution. The meeting’s discourse fails to address the second part of my concern - Will the American people as a whole sacrifice to bring our national debt to zero with the programs I proposed? Only when Jessamine spoke did I get the true picture of the American psyche.
“Look, I want to enjoy all the privilege of have my ass kissed as First Lady. I make no qualms about it and have already expressed my views to most of you. The average America is an asshole. They watch too much television, expose their lives on the Internet and spend money because the neighbor next door does. You take a dollar from their wallet and they scream bloody murder, but they’ll go out and spend two hundred dollars on something they don’t need or have the cash to buy. American lives on someone else’s money. That’s not going to change. I’m luckier because my father is very rich and he spends a lot of money on me. If he ever stopped I am like this country, I will get it, beg for it, steal for it, borrow for it. Let’s face it; a pernicious government has given us our collective lifestyles. Catcher, make my First Lady and stop of this bullshit.”
In retrospect Teagarden gave the only grounded, cogitative response.
“In America we have an identity crisis. Betrayal, predictability, fear, aggression, absurdity, selfishness, racism all rule the left side of our brains, while the other side is confidence, prudent judgment, cautions, hope, love. The conflict divides us just as the county is unable to decide. Most of the world see us as bullies and are afraid to go against our wishes, while the average citizen embrace our benevolent nature. The truth – we make good choices only when we’re threatened, and bad choice when we experience guilt because of our opulence.
“Only catastrophes motivate people. They cry for change, but will not act to do anything out of fear of losing out. Our society is complacent and talks a good game and that’s it. Catcher, America does not want you, they only think they do. Big everything will stop you by whatever means possible.
“Martin Dorsey, I just meet today, said, ‘We’re rocking the boat and they don’t like it.’ I’m afraid for you. I’m afraid what is happening to our country. I’m afraid to do anything about it.”
What’s your name?”
“Catcher McCall.”
“All right, let’s begin. In a few minutes the medication will be completely out of your system. We have taken certain precautions, which will not hinder your cognitive powers. You are without clothing to prevent any unauthorized monitoring. What is said between us remains in this room. I am not here to influence you, just explaining our future course of action if certain events do not occur.”
“Isn’t that a threat,” I challenge?
“Your interpretation means nothing to me. Commonsense is a better indicator of knowledge.”
“Power, not truth, is what’s at stake between us.”
“You intent to be the next president of the United States is a major risk to the status quo and forces democracy to take sides. From the outset, our country was founded on liberty, not democracy. The economic and social changes you propose shaft responsibility and the management of power. Transfer of power to the poor from the rich on the simple premise that majority is supreme has never worked. History has records thousands of failures. Choosing wisely is the true safeguard of democracy. A poor democratic country, which has not monetary wealth to distribute to its people is not democratic but autocratic.”
“Can I speak?”
“Most certainly. Mr. McCall.”
“My entire policy in all its facets is to reduce the deficit and balance the yearly budget. It’s not my intent to transfer power to the poor, or anybody. Sound fiscal responsibility is the agenda. Our country is obligated under current law to mandatory payments for Medicare, Medicaid Social Security and other social programs. The present value of these deficits and unfunded obligations is $46 trillion. By my calculations these programs will significantly exceed tax revenues over the next 25 years. How do we pay for this? Don’t said foreign borrowing.”
“Your argument has merit, and government must address a sound monetary path, but not now. We cannot change the economic dynamics of the country. Foreigners own 51% of our debt, with China, Japan and Brazil major holders. The exposure to financial or political risk is great if foreign banks stop buying Treasury securities. Your program, though well founded, will cause immediate financial and political confusion. This cannot happen. … You will withdraw you candidacy and retired from politics.”
“That if I don’t?”
“You will win the election and become president. That fact is a given less a catastrophe or withdrawal. No further attempts on your life will happen before the election. Voltaire said, ‘the ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.’ You will be assassinated in public view on January 2
0th, the date of your inauguration.”
I laugh. “That’s absurd! You are going to kill me in plain view?”
“John F. Kennedy was killed on national television. The first day of trading on New York Stock Exchange after his death the market went up. Within three months everything was back to normal. Johnson reversed all of his crazy ideas, and the rest is history. There’s no such thing as public opinion, only public perception. So, what will it be, Mr. McCall?”
“My policies will survive …”
Wavy Black Hair waves his hand as if shooing an invisible fly and said, “Nothing will get out of committee.”
“The public wants me to …”
“Stop! Everything dies with you, except the memory. Kennedy is remember today as a great president; nothing during his tenure confirms that, but being assassinated in office.”
Before I can respond, the tall broad with the dart gun is at the glass with a hand signal.
“Excuse me, Mr. McCall. Something important must have occurred.”
My thousands go into overdrive.
He makes a viable argument. Change whether better or worse comes with limitations and stresses. What I propose will immediately show itself with a balanced budget. Debit holders will see this as a positive sign and continue to support our obligations, while our economy adjusts to the new reality. As for the America people, they will sacrifice for the better good. My popularity, my will to do the right thing …
He returns and said, “Philbert Forbes had a accident. He slipped in the bathtub and fractured his hip. He’s at Southwest Medical Center complaining about being pushed. Odd though, he claims being alone while witnesses confirmed otherwise. Poor old man must be hallucinating. His daughter is there, crying and make a fuss.”
“Accident, right?”
“I’m afraid not, Mr. McCall. Nothing we do is an accident.”
On route we address the unresolved issue of the withdrawal speech and the timing of the address. He opens the envelope as if it contains the secret recipe for Coca-Cola.
“You read it as is.”
I snap the paper from his hand.
“If not?”
“You do as agreed!”
“Eighty fuckin’ words, that’s it?”
“There’s nothing more to said.”
“What’s the outside date?”
“Immediately would be preferable with the outside date three weeks before the Republican Convention.”
“August 27, 2010 Tampa Bay Times Forum.”
“You have it.”
"Look, McCall, you’re on borrowed time. If you become complicated, you’re dead. It’s my word what happens.”
“Maybe killing me right here is my best option?”
“For you it’s dangerous to be right. Look, I’m only the expeditor. All of this has been agreed. You cannot changes the rules. We’ll be landing shortly, what will it be?”
I look out the window as the jet makes its final approach on the single runway. My thoughts lack conviction. What are my options? Death for me is merely a formality. But to commit other peoples’ lives because I believe that right must prevail is a fool’s errand.
“So, we land here?”
I said nothing. To snow it means ‘step aside Catcher McCall, you are irrelevant.’