by S King
I just couldn’t handle going through the motions of what needed to be done and what I had wanted to do. I didn’t want to train or have a quite meal, I wanted to cry. But thanks to my upbringing and way of life, I would not allow myself to cry or feel sorry for anyone. This was war and casualties were expected, yet the thing that I regretted the most was not being able to fully apologize to Xerminara for how things had ended for us.
Rubbing my forehead, I didn’t even hear Eikko coming into my office and falling into the chair. At least the nakti wasn’t full of regrets, he was there on the battlefield with me and had watched my back when I couldn’t fully defend myself.
“You need to eat something,” he finally said in the silence that circled us.
I opened my eyes, looking at him, “I’m fine, you can have mine if yours isn’t enough.”
Eikko twisted his mouth, “Ostana, this isn’t the time to be stubborn. Just come into the kitchen and eat with me then you can do whatever you want.” He had showered and washed away the blood, soot, and grim from his perfect body and was looking as handsome as ever.
I massaged my temples, not in the mood to argue with him, “fine.”
I pushed out of my chair, clenching my teeth against the pain in my legs. If I couldn’t cry, then I wanted to go to bed. But Eikko was right, I needed to eat something before my body started shutting down on itself.
“When were you going to tell me that Somsang was missing?” He asked as he uncovered my meal and handed it to me.
Stabbing my straw into the protein health drink I closed my eyes. I had completely forgotten about his right-hand going MIA, to the point that I didn’t know where to begin to search for him.
“I forgot,” I said honestly.
I had forgotten about Somsang and I wasn’t sorry about it either. He wasn’t on my top list of priorities and truth be told; I didn’t like the shady man that had been by Eikko’s side to begin with.
He took the seat across from me, “you forgot?”
“Yes, I’ll start working on it in the jutro.”
“The what?”
“Morning,” I finished off my meal, tossing the thing in the recycling compartment.
“Goodnight Ostana,” he stared at his meal, poking it with his fork.
“Night Eikko,” I made my way to my bedroom, letting my mind begin to shut off for the few sati that I was going to be allowed for sleep and collapsed into my bed. Unfortunately, sleep didn’t come easy and the look on Eikko’s face danced around the back of my eyes like an ongoing nightmare.
Forcing myself from my bed, I pressed my communicator and rubbed my eyes.
“Yeah Major?” Orrie was my go-to when I needed information on anything.
I sighed, “please tell me you have something on Somsang's disappearance.”
“The only thing I’ve got right now is he left through the entertainment district.”
“To where?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it? I’ve been combing through footage and leads but nothing is coming up. The better question is, how did he get passed Emric?”
“And why hasn’t he reported it?” I mumbled more to myself.
“That doesn’t sound like Emric does it?”
“Not in the least,” I tapped my chin, trying to figure out where Emric’s mind was. He wasn’t the type to hide anything when it came to his job, but what was different about this case?
Orrie grumbled, “maybe you should go see him and get some answers.”
I closed my eyes, hating that I still wasn’t getting the sleep I desperately needed. Ever since Eikko came into the society, sleep had been something of a novelty.
“Where is he now?” Being exhausted wasn’t an excuse to not get to the bottom of where and why Somsang had disappeared to. So, I grabbed my combat boots from the closet, laced the things up and headed for the front door.
“Training arena, he’s testing out his new weapon that Kendrick put on the back burner. I think he’s hoping to present it to you and the board with your elevated position.”
“He knows that it’s up to the board and I don’t have anything to do with that. Major or otherwise.” I thanked Orrie for his help and started for the training arena.
Thanks to the battle, the patrol officers were few and far between, leaving the domicile unit nearly deserted. Due to the late sati, I was the only one that was out roaming the stairs; when I reached the training arena though, there was a completely different scene before me.
Officers of nearly all ranks were watching Emric use his weapon that he had created specifically to avoid the depletion of our abilities. Maybe it would’ve saved Xerminara. Maybe it would’ve pushed the Eynos back long before the war had gotten to this point. I didn’t know, but what I did need to know was why he was focusing more on the weapon in his hand rather than the Parlan man that he was supposed to be watching.
“Major,” a low-ranking officer turned, causing everyone to spin in surprise and give me a salute of respect.
Emric paused the ATP and looked at me. In his dark eyes, I saw the same pain that he felt for the loss of Xerminara and what we had gone through together.
“I need to speak with Freyer, alone.” I didn’t wait for him or any of the other officers to question the nature of the talk before I walked out of the arena and waited for Emric in the common entrance.
“What’s going on?” It didn’t take him long to pick up the seriousness of the conversation that my tone had set.
“Why didn’t you report that Somsang was missing?”
“When?” At my raised brow he exhaled and looked past my shoulder, “with everything going on. You and Xerminara were fighting, you had disappeared with Orrie and then you went head to head with Kendrick. When was I supposed to report it Ostana?”
“If I’m not available you go to Kendrick. You had ample opportunity to handle this before it became too much of a liability.”
He leveled his sandstone eyes on me, “you got Xerminara out of the way and now you’re gunning for me? Is that how this works?”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve had your head in the clouds ever since Parlan showed up, Shaye. How I see it, one down and one to go is nothing in comparison to the battles we’re already facing.”
“We took an oath, Freyer, and that hasn’t changed. I’ve kept an eye on my ward and you have failed. How could you lose a full-grown man?”
“I don’t care about Parlan! Or anyone from there! Why should I have to play babysitter to someone that crashed into us?”
“Because it’s your job!” I snapped, “you have thirty-six sati to find him before this gets to Kendrick and I’ll tell you right now.” I stepped up to him, “I’m not going to cover for you when you fail.”
“The same way you didn’t cover Xerminara as she was getting murdered on the battlefield?”
Before I knew what, I was doing, I slapped him across the face with a fire angel. He fell to the ground extinguishing the flames with his force of wind and shot dangerous eyes up at me.
Squatting so we were eye level I dropped my voice, “you ever say anything like that again and your face won’t be the only thing on fire.”
As I walked away from him still laying on the ground, I had to stop myself from shedding the tears that had been threatening to spill down my cheeks since Xerminara had died in Claud's arms.
I couldn’t believe that Emric was so callous. Then again, I might’ve been the same way had the roles been reversed. Still, blaming me for Xerminara's death was…the truth, I realized as I collapsed onto the stairs leading to the domicile unit.
Emric had a point for blaming me for Xerminara and I just didn’t want to face it. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the railing replaying everything. From Eikko and Somsang crashing into my Citlail to now. Over and over again, I replayed all of the events like a broken record and each time that I played it, the worse it got.
This was my new normal and I just had to realize it, I told myself
. Getting up from the stairs, I headed back to my unit, hoping that Eikko would be asleep and maybe I could get some sleep too.
Chapter 11 You Can Rest Now
“Ostana?” Eikko whispered in my ear.
I rolled away from his voice, not wanting to let go of the peaceful blackness that sleep had wrapped me in.
His hand came down on my shoulder, “Ana, you need to eat dinner. You’ve been sleeping for two days now and Claud came by. Xerminara’s funeral is happening early in the morning.”
I covered my closed eyes with my hand and sighed. Only understanding half of what he was saying, I had to piece together what my mind couldn’t. Sleeping. I had been sleeping for…how long is two days? Morning…I’ve heard that word before. But out of all of it, I had no fucking clue to what a funeral was.
Finally, I rolled over to face him and cracked open an eye, “repeat that last part.”
“Xerminara. Her funeral is in the morning.”
I frowned, “what is a funeral?”
“Where you say goodbye to the dead?”
“A pogreb,” I gave him the thumbs up.
“A what?”
Waving him away I turned my back to him again, “same difference I’m sure.” Letting my mind shut off again, I slowly began to drift back into the abyss of sleep.
“Ana, get up.”
I grunted, ducking further under the blankets. “I’ll be up in time for the pogreb, just let me sleep.”
A sharp sting across my ass and the muffled sound of a pop filled the air and sent me bolting upright.
“Ow!” Unconsciously, I had a dancing fire angel in my hand and aimed it at the Parlan jerk that thought he could get away with slapping my ass like we were enamorats.
He glanced at me over his should flicking his wrist, sending a water warrior into my hand and extinguished my fire angel.
“I said get up. If I have to come and get you again, you’ll get more than a butt pop.”
I made a face, “butt pop,” the term sounded so childish and parental coming out of his mouth.
He pointed at me, grabbing my attention from his not so idle threat, “get. Up.” Leaving me to shake my hand of the rose scented droplets and become fully awake, I rolled my eyes at his retreating back.
“Butt pop,” I grumbled, pushing back the covers, and rubbing my face. What was I going to do with him? If that was a pop, I didn’t want to know what a slap was. Deciding against testing his patience, for once, I got out of bed and grabbed my jutro covering and walked out of the room to the kitchen.
He sat at the table, picking away at his chicken, rice, and kale; given the low lighting from the drone light, I saw the smooth planes of his bone structure and the way his eyelashes fanned over his sharp cheekbones. Eikko was beautiful and even though he irritated me with the way that he swatted my ass. I knew that anything he asked of me, I would find a way to make it happen.
“Sleep good?”
As if on cue, I yawned, “not enough.” But I had to admit that I was hungry and happier than I cared to admit, that he had woken me up.
My communicator beeped in my ear, adding to my irritation that had only just started dimming. Pressing the thing, I continued to shove my face full.
“Major Shaye,” Kendrick had his official tone on which told me that either I had done something really bad or problems were steadily rising.
“Yes sir?” Eikko glanced at me, only rolling his eyes when I motioned to my ear.
“A meeting is being held within the sati at the official’s office.”
I washed down my meal with my protein drink, “and my presence is being requested right?” I rubbed my eyes after looking at the time piece. I had time to shower and get to the military officials’ offices.
“Correct. It’s regarding Sif’s pogreb.”
The meal that I had just finished eating was threatening to come right back up at the thought of Xerminara’s funeral. I didn’t want to think about my best friend’s send off nor about the way that we had ended things before the battlefield. Unfortunately, it was staring me right in the face and there wasn’t anything I could do to avoid it.
I had a feeling that the officials wanted to vote on sending her off with full military honors at her prior rank and not the disgraced position she had right before the battle. I already knew what I would vote when asked and the answer was simple. Xerminara needed to be sent off at a higher rank than before our fallout. It was the least I could’ve done, and I’d make damn sure she got it.
“I’ll be there,” I pushed away from the table as I disconnected the communication and headed for my bathroom.
As I slipped under the hot shower head and closed my eyes, I heard the faint squeak of the floorboards before Eikko’s floated in the room.
“Something tells me that you’re going to go on a binge again.”
My eyes snapped open, staring at the black glass door I made a face, “don’t worry about it. Now get out.”
“I take it nothing has been reported for Somsang?” He questioned, ignoring my demand for privacy.
“No, Emric is working on it.” He better be or him and I were going to have problems beyond his temper, I thought as I washed my face.
“Tell me something, fire angel, how is it that the brooding Emric was unable to keep an eye on such a feeble man as Somsang?”
Fire angel? We were giving each other nicknames now? Did I miss something? Shaking my head, I snatched the biodegradable soap and started washing my body.
“He’s had some more important things to handle. The better question is, why did he go missing in the first place?” My communicator beeped again, this time with Orrie’s connection. “Hold on Eikko,” pressing my communicator, I started washing my legs, “what?”
“You’re not going to fucking believe this,” Orrie had foregone the formalities and was sounding like he’d just cracked the reason why earth was destroyed.
“Well what is it?” I lightly ran a hand up my leg before snatching the britva and started removing the short hair.
When Orrie opened his mouth and told me what he found out, the ten-blade device fell from my hand as I stared at the gun metal grey tile.
“What?” This wasn’t right. It couldn’t be.
“I shit you not, Major. I couldn’t believe it myself, by the way, are you in the shower?” An after thought question that had no bearing now. What he had just told me, I was still trying to comprehend.
“Make sure, Orrie. I’m not buying what you’re selling right now. So, please just…” I shook my head, knowing that Eikko was going to want an explanation when I faced him. “Just make sure that your information is right. Ok?”
“But Major—”
“Just do it…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and clenched my teeth against the scalding water at my back, “please.”
Orrie paused for a moment before agreeing and disconnecting the communication. I refused to believe what he was telling me and there was no way I was going to repeat it to Eikko until I was at least two hundred percent sure everything was accurate.
Checking my timepiece, I internally groaned. I shut off the shower and snatched the towel from the rack and dried off before wrapping the thing around my body and stepped out.
“Everything ok?” Eikko had fallen silent while I was talking to Orrie but the way he was looking at me right now told me that I was going to have one hell of a time lying to him.
I nodded motioning to the door, “I need to get dressed.”
A devious brow raised as he took an appraising look at me from head to toe. A look like that said that he was thinking of fifty different ways from dusk to dawn how to have his way with me. Finally, he relented. Leaving me to my thoughts and a pair of clean clothes.
Eikko’s brother and stepmother were the ones to hire someone to take down the aircraft with him and Somsang on it. To my understanding he had cut them off from spending his money on lavish vacations, whatever those were, and expensive vehicles. Not only that,
but they were burning through his currency every time he got a new contract.
How in the fuck was I going to tell him that his family were, essentially, the ones behind the wreck?
After getting dressed I braced my hands on the counter and allowed him to come back into the bathroom.
“Ostana?”
I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes as I grabbed for the headache medicine and a vitamin for extra support. This wasn’t the time to let my exhaustion plague me nor did I need a roaring headache to add to the confusion.