by S King
I closed my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek, “sir, I understand that you are upset about me disobeying your direct order but—”
“No, no,” he turned around, putting down his reports and stared at me. “I’m not upset about the fact that you went against a direct order. Personal feelings are not included in the decision that was made. If they were then you’d be exiled to the loše zemlje until your demotion report went through. Be lucky that you are simply excluded from the decisions regarding your subordinates and don’t push the matter any further.”
“Sir,” I started before his eyes ignited in warning.
“Shaye, I’m going easy on you and right now you’re skating on thin ice. Did you not think I would find out what was going on behind my back when I wasn’t looking? I know about your first trip to Parlan and how you brought items back from the blue sun society for your ward.”
I snapped my mouth shut, not wanting to dig myself in a further hole than I already was. Of course, Fauve found out about my first excursion to the blue sun society and of course, I was going to take the blame for dragging Orrie along.
“Not that you need to know, but,” he rubbed his eyes and sighed, “Orrie is being transferred to Parlan because he will be able to look after your sister as well as track Somsang. In reality, as twisted as it may seem, you should be thanking me for sending someone to look after your sister. Someone that you can trust.”
I nodded, not wanting to admit that he was right; if it weren’t Orrie then I would’ve wanted Emric to go. At the thought of my best friend I chewed on my lip, only halfheartedly wanting to know what was going on with him.
“Sir, may I ask what is going on with Emric?”
“Freyer?” He glanced at me, going back to the reports in front of him.
“Yes sir,” it was hard not to shift my weight or twist my hands or something in order to get rid of the nervous energy that was overflowing in me.
“Freyer will be doing a triple rotation on the frontline for his part in the suicide mission. He will be departing,” Fauve glanced at the timepiece resting on his wrist, “in forty-five sekundi. Anything else?”
I shook my head and saluted to him in respect, “thank you, sir.” I turned to leave when his voice stopped me.
“I’m aware of the position that I’m putting you in, Ostana. But please be mindful of your actions in the future. Being a Major in the military is a big responsibility and by the way that you’re acting is unacceptable. Say your goodbyes and move on with your life.”
The order was easier said than done, still I nodded without turning to face him and left the official offices. I needed to follow Fauve’s advise and just say goodbye to Eikko but with my heart being torn from every which angle I didn’t know how I was going to say goodbye without crying in front of him.
Pushing the thoughts of saying goodbye to Eikko aside, I made my way to training arena and leaned against the observation wall as I watched Emric duck, dodge and stab the holographic Eynos.
“Here to send me off?” He asked with his back to me as the wind within the arena picked up and wiped out all of the Eynos that came toward him.
“It was the least that I could do,” I crossed my arms over my chest, watching every move that he threw in the fight. “When are you coming back?”
“Assuming,” he ran up a side wall camouflaged as a tree and came down on an Eyno with the arson thrower in his hand, “that I come back alive. Hopefully, three tjedan. Granted, that’s with the hopes that the bastards don’t make a comeback within that time and another side war doesn’t happen.”
I dug my nails into my hands and nodded, “I’m sorry, Emric.”
“For what?” He slammed the pause button on the ATP and stared at me with worried sandstone eyes. “You didn’t do anything that, had the tables been reversed, I wouldn’t have done. Besides,” he shrugged and grabbed a towel from the waiting training table, “Parlan is something of a wonderland that we never even dreamed about.”
That was the truth. Everything within the blue sun was new to us and even the people were something to be amazed by.
“Still,” I swallowed down my fear that I had for him and tried to smile, “I didn’t mean for you to be in rotation for so long.”
He blew a raspberry and sat down on the bench, “I’ll come back. I always do,” he patted the spot next to him as he used the towel to wipe the sweat from his neck and face. “On a more serious note,” he glanced at me, “I hear that the Parlan Playboy is going back to his homeland soon.”
“He is.”
“Are you going with him?”
“No,” I shook my head and stared at the floor, “it would just be better if we parted ways now and forgot that all of this even happened.”
Silence floated between us as he stared at the towel in his hand. Once upon a time I knew that Emric had feelings for me and had even thought about presenting a proposal agreement to me, but after Eikko and Somsang showed up things became something of a circus. Even though I had made it clear that I wasn’t interested in Emric in that way, something told me that he wasn’t done with the adventure of winning my heart, or at the very least my hand.
“Have you told him how you felt yet?” He asked offhandedly.
I swallowed hard and shook my head, “there’s no reason to. It would just be better for me to forget about this and move on with my life.”
A bark of laughter left him as he looked at me with a smile on his face, “tell me how you’re going to forget about Eikko.”
I shrugged, “I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah ok, Ostana.”
I threw my hands up, “how am I supposed to forget someone that set fire to my world and didn’t even bother to give me a fair warning about getting burned?”
“He wasn’t supposed to warn you,” he grabbed a health drink from the ice drone, “that’s the beauty of being alive and human.” He smirked at me, “you get to learn how to dance in the flames and cherish the ashes of a lost love.”
I closed my eyes, “the irony of the situation is disgusting.”
He bumped my shoulder with his, “isn’t it though?” Wrapping an arm around me, he kissed the side of my head, “we all have to let go of someone that we thought were meant for us, Ana. You’ll be ok.”
“When?” Again, the tears from earlier came prickling at the back of my eyes.
“Time heals all things,” he stood up and tossed the towel in the incinerator, “you just need time.” Emric went back to the ATP and nodded to the door, “time won’t heal the loss of not getting closure. So, I’d suggest that you go say your feelings and goodbyes before it’s too late. I’ll be back to pick up the pieces before you can even say pleasant skies.”
With a wink, he allowed the ATP to begin projecting Eynos again and focused all of his attention on the holographic adversaries that seemed to rule our lives.
Taking the hint, I went back to the domicile district, but I didn’t go back to my home where Eikko was surely waiting. No, instead I cleared the three flights of stairs and hung a right to arrive at my grandmother’s. I hadn’t seen her since the fiasco of crossing into the red sun and I was in need of some one-on-one time with the woman that was more of a mother to me than anyone else.
“Welcome home, Major Shaye,” the holographic Parlan woman appeared in the entrance of the domicile and smiled blindly at me as I kicked off my shoes. Thanks to the directors of the domicile district, my grandmother’s home was considered mine as well and allowed me the access to come and go as I pleased.
“Ostana?” My grandmother came out of the kitchen with a towel in between her hands.
I sighed, trying to hold my composure together, “can I talk to you for a minute?”
A look of knowing sympathy passed over her face as she stepped to the side and motioned for me to sit down in the kitchen. “Did you already eat?”
“No, I'm fine. I just…” trailing off I buried my face in my hands, “why did I fall fo
r someone that I can never be with?”
She sighed, tucking a piece of silver-white hair behind her ear, “I don’t know, but it’s good to finally have you admit that you did.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I looked at her through my fingers.
“It means that it was obvious from the first time that I saw you two together.”
“How?” I frowned, dropping my hands to rest on my crossed arms and wondered where she was coming from. Even I didn’t know that I had feelings for Eikko until recently and with them not going away anytime soon, it was hard to pinpoint the exact time that they started.
She smirked and looked out the window, “your parents were the same way. I mean,” she held her hand up to stop my questioning, “they weren’t from two different societies, but they were from two different districts. Your mother was in the fashion district before getting an approval to transfer into the military. Your dad was something of a battle hero that wouldn’t get denied anything, no matter how big the request. So,” she sighed happily, remembering something that I had no knowledge of, “when he saw her in the fashion district one dana, everything became all about her. Of course, your mother being the way that she was, she wouldn’t let him out of her sight for anything. When they finally realized that they wanted, or rather needed, to be together your father was called to the front line of the battlefield. In turn,” she raised a brow for a moment and adjusted the towel in her hand, “your mother requested to join the military on the basis of wanting to protect the society. Of course, if anyone said that to the officials at the time, they were going to allow anyone to transfer into a uniform. As they say,” she glanced at me.
“The rest is history,” I mumbled closing my eyes as I remembered the last time, I saw my parents.
“So, it would seem,” she tilted her head as she looked at me, “why did you really go to Parlan if it weren’t for Eikko?”
I wiped my eyes of the tears and shook my head, “I don’t know why I did it. I mean, I say it was for Theodora and to ensure that she was safe, but I can’t say that it was the entire reason.” I pushed my hair away from my face, “all of us would face bigger consequences if I told the whole truth and the real reason why I went. I guess, in a sad pathetic way, I went to Parlan because I wanted to prove to Eikko that I could be by him in his society and still remain true to myself. But looking back at it, I know I made the wrong decision. Now Orrie is being transferred there and Emric is going on an extended rotation thanks to my harebrained plan.”
My grandmother looked at me with sympathetic eyes, “Ostana,” she took my hands in hers, “you can doubt everything in this world. From the color of the sky to the orders being handed down by the officials but promise me one thing.”
I looked into her lighter garnet eyes, “what’s that?”
“Never doubt yourself again. You made the right decision for the time being and you did it with the same grace as your mother would’ve done. Now,” she wiped the tears away from my cheeks and smirked, “I want you to go back to your domicile and I want you to tell him how you feel.”
I started shaking my head, the anxiety of telling Eikko how I felt was becoming almost suffocating. I wasn’t capable of telling him how I felt when he was about to leave. It would cause too many problems and knowing him the way that I did, I knew that he would fight tooth and nail with me to go with him.
“Listen to me,” she pointed a finger in my face, “this man, whatever his origin or where he’s from, he saved you from the Eyno attack and took the shots from Somsang's weapon for you. If you don’t tell him now, when? You’re not going to get clearance from air command to go to Parlan whenever you feel like it and if it weren’t for me, Fauve and Kendrick going to bat for you, you wouldn’t even be in uniform right now, let alone alive enough to tell him.”
“Grandmother,” I started, shaking my head again.
“As your commanding officer in the military, I am ordering you to go tell Eikko the truth. Do you understand?”
I smiled, “yes ma’am.” I kissed her temple, rushing from her domicile to my own only to skid to a halt at the sound of the invasion alarm roaring through the military base.
Cursing under my breath, I changed directions from my domicile to the military base and forced my legs to carry me toward the danger that lay ahead.
When I arrived at the debriefing base all of the ground warriors were already preparing to go to the front line and none of them looked like they were going to wait around long enough to receive the orders from the commanding officers.
“Orrie!” I found him in the mass of warriors strapping on their wind slicing blades and checking their arson throwers.
“Major?” He nodded at something that a mechanic said before pushing through the warriors and coming to stand in front of me, “what’re you doing here?”
I motioned to the alarms still blaring through the military district, “what’s going on?”
“We’re being sent out,” Emric appeared from behind me and snatched a handheld from a lowly ranking officer before turning his attention back to me. “While we’re out, you’re going to send Eikko back,” he shook his head, “I know that he isn’t supposed to leave until sutra but we’re going to need all hands-on deck. I guess our little adventure pissed off the seven eyed bastards enough to get them riled up to the breaking point. Fauve ordered me to go ahead and lead the others out to the battlefield while you’re sending him off. When you’re done, you’re expected to be on the battlefield with your own squadron.”
“Move out!” Another captain ordered from behind us.
Emric tapped on his handheld and handed it back to Orrie before looking at me, “I’ll see you out there, and,” he scratched the back of his neck as he walked backward, “tell Eikko goodbye for us.”
I didn’t get the chance to say anything because Emric whistled through his teeth at the other warriors before taking off at a dead run toward the front line.
“Orrie, let’s go!” Kendrick ordered from a Citlail that was beginning to rise from the ground.
He nodded, turning back to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, “I’ll take care of Theodora, Major. Don’t worry and I’ll make sure to bring Somsang back for his execution.”
“Be careful,” I grabbed his wrist as I searched his eyes, “just…be careful. I have an uneasy feeling that won’t go away, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
A shy smirk lifted the corner of his mouth as he nodded, “don’t worry. I’ll be back in my office looking at reports and maps before you even get comfortable with me being gone.” He winked at me as Kendrick barked another order for him to get a move on, “see you on the other side of the sun, Major Shaye.”
God knew that I didn’t want to rush out of the debriefing base until I knew that the Citlail that Kendrick and Orrie were on cleared the territory line and airstrike zone, but I had to attend to the duty that was set on my shoulders and that meant that I needed to go back to my domicile and get Eikko.
My communicator beeped once before Fauve’s smooth voice came through the device implanted in my ear.
“Major Shaye, the departure for Mr. Kangho to return to Parlan has been moved to now.”
“Yes sir,” I swallowed the bile in my throat as I forced the tears down. I was not going to cry in front of Fauve and damn sure not Eikko.
“I’ll see to it that everything is prepared before you two arrive.”
“Thank you, sir,” I nodded to the few remaining officers that were patrolling the walkway of the domicile units and disconnected the communication as I reached my front door.
Taking a deep breath, I said a final hoorah before going through my front door.
“Welcome home Major Shaye,” the holographic woman, similar to the one in Othala’s domicile, appeared in front of me with the same carefree, blind smile on her face. But I couldn’t think about how easy the actual woman’s life was in Parlan. Did she have to suffer through battle wounds, heartaches, and all
-around losses in Parlan? I wouldn’t know.
“Ana?” Eikko’s voice pulled my scrutinizing thoughts away from the fading holograph and reminded me why I was standing in my hallway feeling like utter shit.
“You’re leaving now,” I spit out more harshly than I intended to.
He raised a brow at me, “excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, I meant that the Magdolonian is ready for your departure so,” I motioned toward his room and avoided his burning iris gaze, “if you want to go ahead and get your things we can send you back home.”
“Wha…what do you mean I’m leaving now?” He stayed rooted to where he stood in the hall and kept twisting until he could look into my eyes, “you said that we had one more day.”