I followed behind him much more slowly, taking everything in from the gold trim around the doors, to the chandelier that was hanging in the hallway.
But nothing could’ve prepared me for the room that we were walking into.
“Holy shit,” I breathed as I saw it.
It was… completely open.
We had the entire top floor of the hotel to ourselves. The back wall was nothing but windows, and every single drape was open, allowing you to see the Austin city skyline.
Everything was lit up, and it made me gasp in surprise at how cool it looked.
I’d never seen anything so beautiful before in my life.
“Wow,” I breathed. “This is amazing.”
Bourne’s big shoulders entered my vision for a short moment, momentarily drawing my attention to the shower that was in the back of the room.
The shower that was all glass. All clear glass.
The shower that, if I was inside, Bourne would be able to see every single little detail.
The only thing that didn’t have a clear view of everything was a small door that must’ve been a toilet.
Thank God for small favors.
My eyes drifted back to the thing that I’d been avoiding looking at—the bed.
It was in the middle of the room. A four-poster bed that was so big I wasn’t even sure that it could be classified as a king-sized.
“Wow,” I breathed, mostly to myself.
Bourne grunted, seeing where my eyes were directed. “Fancy.”
Fancy wasn’t even the right word.
Though, it was fancy.
But when I looked at that bed, I thought of sex. Hard. Soft. Slow. Easy. Fast. Every single way that one could have sex.
It could happen in that bed.
I walked up to it and dropped my ass onto it, looking up into the gauzy canopy above my head and seeing the glittering blackness of sky.
“There’s a hole in the roof,” I murmured.
Was that awe in my voice? Because holy shit, I wanted to lie down there, with Bourne on top of me, and stare through the gauzy curtains while he pounded…
“There is,” Bourne murmured. “This fuckin’ place is fancy.”
“You already said that,” I pointed out. “You’re not very original.”
He shot me a roll of his eyes.
“I don’t know what else to call it,” he admitted. “I mean… it’s fancy. That’s what it is. I’m scared to walk across the white rug in fear that I’ll get it dirty with my shoes.”
I looked at him pointedly. “They gave away our rooms. And they didn’t want to even give us this place. I don’t care if your dirty work boots get their fancy ass rug dirty.”
Bourne’s lips twitched as he walked toward the shower.
He peeked inside and then glanced over at me.
I looked away, studying my ripped holey jeans and my scuffed red Converse.
I needed new ones.
I just hadn’t really had the time or the inclination to go to the mall to get them.
When I wasn’t working, I had Asa. And Asa didn’t do the mall.
Apparently, it was ingrained in the Y chromosomes that they didn’t mall. Especially when it involved shoe shopping with your mom.
When Asa was with Booth, the last thing I wanted to do was brave the mall and pass the Cookie Factory.
“What’s on your agenda for tomorrow?” Bourne asked as he walked farther into the room.
I swallowed hard and ran my hand over the softest down comforter I’d ever felt.
“I have meetings until four in the afternoon. What about you?” I asked.
Looking up, I found him kicking his shoes off and launching them to the side of the room so we didn’t chance tripping over them.
“I have to go get some equipment for the SWAT team tomorrow around nine. Then, at eleven thirty, I have an appointment with my tattoo artist to get started on my new tattoo.”
I was curious, so I didn’t bother to hide my curiosity.
“What are you getting?” I asked.
He plopped down in the chair nearest the bed. A deep red velvet chair that came up high over his head in a spectacular flair. His arms were propped on the chair’s massive arms, and he was staring at me as if something I was doing was interesting to him.
I looked down and realized I was ripping a hole in my jeans. Or, more accurately, a bigger hole.
I was pulling on the strands of frayed denim, pulling it further and further apart without even realizing it.
“Why are you doing that?” he asked, his voice deceptively quiet.
I licked my lips and shrugged. “I’m nervous.”
“Why?” he asked.
Why?
He’d ignored me for weeks now, and he was going to ask why?
“We were together. We scratched some itches. And then you treated me like I had the plague and you didn’t want to catch whatever I had.” I paused. “Even when you came over to get Asa last week. You hardly spoke a word. I’m just… it’s… I’m nervous. I’m nervous to be in here with you. I don’t know how to proceed.”
“You proceed like we’ve always proceeded. You just treat me like I’m your baby daddy’s brother, and that’s all,” he said.
And for some reason, that made me extremely mad.
That’s how he wanted me to treat him?
Well, fine.
That’s exactly what I would do.
“Okay,” I said, shrugging. “I’ll just do that then.”
He watched me with raised eyebrows as I got up and started to walk to the hall table where he’d placed our cards.
Grabbing one out of the envelope, I shoved it into my back pocket before going back to my purse and gathering my wallet and phone.
“Where are you going?” he asked, not bothering to move or even turn toward me.
Instead of answering him, I walked out the door and didn’t look back.
If he wanted me to treat him like someone that I hadn’t slept with, then I would.
Taking the elevator all the way down to the ground level, I bypassed the hotel’s bar and instead walked out onto the street.
Once there, I looked up and down the road, finally spotting a large yellow sign that said ‘Keith’s Tavern’ on it.
Walking in that direction, I came to a stop about halfway there when I spotted a small diner instead.
Thinking that was for the best, I went inside and smiled at the woman manning the front area.
“One?” the old woman asked.
I nodded. “Just one.”
“You want to sit at the bar?” she asked.
I looked at the bar and shook my head. “Actually, if you have a quiet corner, that would be best. I would like to read.”
The lady pointed toward the back where it looked like they’d already cleaned and blocked off for the night.
“If you want to sit over there, that’s perfectly fine. You just have to promise not to make a mess so I don’t have to clean it twice tonight.”
I grinned. “Deal.”
“Would you like to place your order now?” she asked. “There aren’t any waitresses manning that section. I’ll bring you over your food when it’s ready.”
I picked up a menu and made my selection.
Then for the next hour of my life, I sat there and drank coffee, ate pancakes, and had chocolate cake for dessert.
It was about ten minutes in that I got the first message.
Then ten after that.
And five after that.
By the end of the first hour, I had eight texts, all from Bourne, asking where I was at.
I ignored them all and didn’t open a single one.
Instead, I read my book and ignored the world around me until my eyes were so heavy that I couldn’t seem to hold them open anymore.
“As much as I’d like to keep you, doll, it’s time to go. The diner’s closing,”
Deb, the old waitress, said.
I grinned and gathered up my trash.
Taking it all to her, I smiled and paid my check.
Minutes after that, I was once again in the lobby of the hotel.
I knew the second that I got into the lobby that Bourne was in a dark corner booth nursing a beer.
Obviously waiting for me to get back by keeping an eye on the door.
I ignored him and took the elevator up to the room.
When I got into the room, I gathered my clothes that I would be sleeping in and headed to the bathroom.
Grinning a tad bit evilly, I stripped naked and turned on the shower.
Then I proceeded to take a shower, a long one where I didn’t once get interrupted by a small child asking me to open a Go-Gurt pack or a cheese stick. It was luxurious.
I knew the second he got into the room.
But I didn’t attempt to cover myself up. I just finished my shower.
Chapter 5
Everything tastes better with dog hair in it.
-Coffee Cup
Bourne
I was pissed.
And I didn’t have anybody to blame but myself.
I’d told her that we should act like we’d always acted. And that, unfortunately, meant that she didn’t have to tell me where she was going or what she was doing.
Which also meant I’d spent the last two hours of the night wondering where the hell she was, and if she was okay.
The moment I saw her enter the lobby at half-past ten, I tossed a twenty-dollar bill onto the top of the table and shoved my wallet back into my pocket.
Heading to the bank of elevators, I was about halfway there when a group of bikers entered the lobby in front of me, all heading in the direction of the elevators as well. They effectively cut me off from Delanie and I watched as she stepped into the first available car and the doors closed.
Gritting my teeth at the inconvenience, I waited patiently in line behind the bikers as they split up into two groups.
I entered with the second group, which was a full five minutes after Delanie had taken hers.
Finally arriving at the penthouse, I walked out into the gaudy foyer and made my way to the main living area.
The moment I entered, I heard the shower running, and I felt my balls tighten and my dick harden in an instant.
I knew what I’d see the moment that I turned the corner, but my mind didn’t do the view that greeted me justice.
There was a fuckin’ spotlight on the bathroom, mainly shining straight down on the shower.
With everything else dark in the suite but that, I could see damn near everything.
I could see the soap suds that she was using sluicing down the length of her body. The way her short hair stuck to her neck as the water hit it. The way her thighs were slightly parted as she worked the soap between her legs and down her shapely thighs.
I groaned under my breath, my eyes closing momentarily as I tried to regain control.
It was useless. When it came to Delanie Davidsdottir, I didn’t have any. Not at all.
Which was why, instead of acting on my instincts which were urging me to get into the shower with her, I instead walked to the bed. Once there, I stripped out of my smelly bar clothes, plugged my phone into the charger that they had built into the lamp beside the bed, and sat on it while I waited.
And thought.
I was kidding myself.
I was doing something that I never should’ve done…yet I’d still done it.
I’d already crossed the line, and there would be no going back.
Not anymore.
I had to find a way to fix this. I had to make this right.
And… I had to have her.
I couldn’t do this without taking that step.
I’d always regretted the few times that I’d not done something.
Like going into the military.
I’d wanted that, badly.
But when Booth and I had signed up to go, I’d broken my foot. Severely. And to this day, I still had problems with it.
But, when Booth had first seen Asa, he’d shouldered me with a request. One that I could never deny my twin brother. To forgo going into the military so that I could be here for Asa and Delanie if they ever needed anything.
And I had.
But I’d always felt like something was missing.
Though I’d been here for Asa, I’d always been on the outside, because I knew that one day, Booth would be home. And he’d resent me if I had a better relationship with Asa than he did.
So, though I’d been there, I hadn’t been there.
It was a fine line to walk, and one that I was rather proud of when Booth finally made it home.
I was the doting, cool uncle. And nothing else.
I’d waited to join the SWAT team until Booth could do it with me.
Which had given me five years to go to school and get a degree that I was never going to utilize—another regret, because I really did love emergency medicine. I loved the adrenaline of helping save someone’s life in the field.
Then there was the one thing that I’d been denying myself that I should’ve never ignored.
Delanie.
I’d thought that she was something off limits.
That, because Booth had a child with her, I should always stay away.
Except… I was tired of thinking about Booth.
Everything always centered around Booth, and it was time to allow things to center around me.
I heard the shower turn off, and I laid myself back against the bed, swinging my feet up and onto the plush down comforter that covered the top of the bed.
I heard the swish of fabric as I stared up at the canopy of stars through the gauzy curtains that covered the bed and wondered if this was what hell felt like.
Having feelings for someone that you knew you should stay away from.
But then I got to questioning… why should I stay away from her?
For Asa? He wouldn’t care that his mom and I were together.
For Delanie? What was it helping her that I was staying away? Honestly, it was only hurting her—at least, that’s what I could feel rolling off of her each time I pushed her away.
For Dillan? For Booth? The time to make other people happy was over. It was time to make me happy.
Wasn’t it?
The bed dipped as Delanie eased onto it, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking in her direction.
Her hair was wet, and her face was lit up by her phone. She was smiling as she quickly typed something into her phone.
“Who was that?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
Though we were in the bed together, it felt like we were a thousand miles apart, and I didn’t like the feeling. Not at all.
“Dillan,” she replied softly. “She showed me a picture of her, Booth, and Asa.”
I swallowed hard, not bothering to ask to see the photo.
I could picture it in my mind.
Booth had done a lot of smiling lately since he’d finally gotten his head out of his ass when it came to Dillan.
Me? Not so much.
And that was going to change. Starting now.
“I never thought that you slept with Booth on purpose,” I found myself saying into the darkness.
There was a long silence and then, “I’m glad.”
“I think Kerrie needs to rot in hell for what my gut is telling me he did,” I said.
A couple of days ago, I’d been over at Delanie’s house cleaning out her dogs’ kennels when I’d kind of just… snapped.
I’d told Dillan to look at the bigger picture. To ask herself the question of why.
The night that Asa was conceived, I remembered very clearly that Booth had been half in love with Dillan. Delanie didn’t even register in his eyes. So it made zero sense to me that Booth and Delanie would sleep together. Especially knowing the
way my brother felt when it came to Dillan.
I just knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that something more had happened that night than just a case of ‘she was there and I needed it’ kind of thing.
I knew, without a doubt, that Kerrie, Dillan and Delanie’s friend, had something to do with it.
I hadn’t ever been able to prove it, but it’d been a hunch ever since things had gone down.
“He will,” she said softly. “I just… Kilgore is such a gossip town. With my new business, and Dillan’s business, and both you and Booth being on the police force… I just don’t think now is the time to press those charges.”
I didn’t like that answer.
Honestly, I wanted her to go up to the police department and file a report.
It wouldn’t go anywhere… but at least there would be a file. And if Kerrie ever stepped out of line…
“Why would your dad arrange a marriage for you?” I asked into the darkness.
The night that it’d happened, I’d learned from Booth that Delanie’s father had arranged a marriage between Kerrie and Delanie. Thinking back now, her drinking made sense. That would be something I would want to avoid at all costs, too.
But I didn’t think that she’d sabotage her life, and definitely not with her twin and Booth obviously in love with each other, quite like that. And, if she was going to do that, she definitely wouldn’t have done it with Booth. Neither one of them had ever been able to hide their feelings for each other.
“We came from a long line of arranged marriages,” she said. “Political, really. If you want to run for office, you need to have someone in your corner that is just as distinguished as you are. I was, apparently, it for Kerrie. I’m not going to say that it ever made sense to my young brain, and even to my now older brain, it still doesn’t make sense. But, Asa saved me. That’d never been my intention, but he did. I’ll never have to worry about it again.”
“I thought you didn’t talk to your father,” I said. “He would never be able to do that to you again.”
Thank God.
I really didn’t like David Gunnarson. He was a manipulative asshole who didn’t deserve Delanie. Not at all.
“I don’t,” she agreed. “I haven’t spoken to him in years.”
Something in the way she said that made me hone in on her words.
Join the Club (SWAT Generation 2.0 Book 7) Page 8