Before, I hadn’t been too upset about it. I liked that she’d moved in. More importantly, I liked that she wasn’t scared to make herself at home.
Now, though? Well, now I resented that she hung up my clothes. I loved when I could just go through a basket and pull them out without first having to take it off a hanger and replace them into a certain spot that she liked.
Zipping the bag a little harder than I intended, I went to the bathroom, gathered my toiletries and my bottle of 3-in-1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash, and shoved everything into a zippered bag. Grabbing it and my duffle, I walked out the door of my bedroom, unsurprised to see Booth, Dillan, and Delanie still standing there. Two of the three still looking pissed.
The whispering stopped when I entered the room, and Booth’s eyes narrowed on my bag.
Delanie’s were blank, not giving away whether she was happy or sad to see my shit packed.
I didn’t have anywhere to go except my camper, so I’d leave, stay at our land and come back once we’d all cooled down. Unlike them, I didn’t want to say anything that I would regret.
Not sparing anyone a glance, I snatched the keys to my truck off the table and whistled to Moses to follow me.
It was only as I got outside that I saw Asa standing there, looking heartbroken.
“I’m sorry, Uncle Bourne,” he said, tears in his eyes.
I touched the top of his head. “Sorry for what, kiddo?”
“That I lied and said I was sick,” he said. “I won’t ever do it again.”
This kid. God, how I loved him.
I dropped down onto my haunches and pressed my lips to Asa’s forehead. “Don’t worry about it, buddy. You didn’t do anything that every adult in this world wishes they could do every once in a while. I promise. Everything will be okay.”
“I don’t want you to go,” he said, tears now spilling over.
“I’m not going far. I’ll still see you at dinner tomorrow, I think,” I informed him. “I might be a little late, though. We’ll see.”
Asa’s tears continued to fall.
“Give me a hug, buddy.”
Asa threw himself into my arms and I wrapped him up in me tight.
It was only when I heard the footfalls that I let him go.
“Gotta go now, bud,” I stood.
I looked behind me to see Dillan standing there.
I was glad.
I didn’t think I had the gumption to talk to my brother or Delanie.
Seriously, I knew better than to do that.
Taking one last look in the door of my open house, I stomped to my truck and didn’t look back.
It was only after waiting a couple of hours for an apology that didn’t come that I realized it wasn’t going to come.
I got a little bit drunk, too.
Oh, and did something incredibly stupid.
Chapter 16
Washing your makeup off is bittersweet. Like, goodbye, fierce, awesome bitch. Hello, bitch that can now rub her eyes.
-Text from Delanie to Dillan
Delanie
I looked at Booth, wondering if what I’d just said to Bourne was the wrong thing to say.
I had a feeling that it was.
But I replayed the call from my father.
Do you know where your child is?
I hadn’t.
I’d immediately left my meeting.
I’d called the school first, and they’d told me that he wasn’t there.
I’d then called Bourne, and he hadn’t answered.
Then I’d walked inside and talked to Booth, who also started calling around, asking.
Then I’d called Dillan, then Nico and Georgia.
None of them had known where he was.
Those sixty minutes since my father’s call where I didn’t know where he was felt like a lifetime.
A police officer had been heading our way, and the dispatch chick had told us to gather a recent photo of him and meet him at our house.
We’d left the meeting with the lawyer hastily, right in the middle of something very important, and headed to Booth’s place where Dillan had met us, looking haggard from her emergency she’d had to attend to at work.
We’d tried Bourne again, only for it to go straight to voicemail.
Then the dispatcher had suggested that we put a ‘be on the lookout’ out on Asa, and she’d asked me what he’d worn to school that day. And I hadn’t been able to answer.
I couldn’t remember what he’d been wearing because I hadn’t taken him to school. Bourne had.
Bourne had also dressed him as well, allowing me to sleep in and be a bit lazy.
Which I’d loved.
Hours later, I hadn’t loved it so much.
What kind of mother did that make me?
Then, as if my world wasn’t ending, Bourne had pulled up laughing with my son in tow.
I’d…lost it.
I couldn’t say that I was super proud of what I’d done.
I couldn’t say that I shouldn’t have handled it differently.
But… honestly, I’d been so scared.
My son, my five-year-old almost six-year-old, the little boy that was my heart and soul, was just fine.
And Bourne had been laughing as if my heart hadn’t been shattered since I’d gotten that call.
As if everything was all okay with the world.
And I’d just snapped.
Watching the door close solidly behind Bourne, I felt something in my stomach sour.
I glanced over to Booth to see him looking torn, as if he wanted to go after Bourne, but couldn’t quite decide whether he was still pissed or not.
I didn’t have the same problem.
I was still very pissed.
And I needed to call the cops to tell them that everything was okay.
I also needed to start calling around to the people that were on the lookout for my son.
Except, before I could do any of those things, the door opened again, and my heart leaped.
It wasn’t Bourne, though.
It was Dillan.
I hadn’t even realized that she’d left.
I watched as Dillan walked by with a crying Asa, and I realized he’d heard me yell at Bourne.
Shit.
Just as fast, Dillan was back sans Asa, and she had anger written all over her face.
She had her hands on her hips, and she was staring at the two of us like we were bothersome children instead of the adults we were.
“He’s right.”
Booth crossed his arms over his chest.
“No offense.” She looked at the man she was going to marry. “But Booth, Bourne’s been here for a lot. Out of all of us? He’s been the one who was here, the most consistently, since Asa was born. Think about it? You and me, Delanie? We have new, fledgling businesses. Booth? You were gone in the military. But Bourne? He’s always been here. He was the first one to see Asa walk, for God’s sake. And now you’re going to degrade his position in Asa’s life by this? You’re a hypocrite. You can’t have it both ways.”
Booth didn’t say anything.
I didn’t either.
“He’s taken Asa to the doctor more than you have.”
Booth’s jaw tightened.
“He’s gotten Asa from school more than you have.”
Booth looked down at his feet.
“He’s put Asa to bed more than you have.”
Booth’s fingers clenched into fists.
“Granted, he’s had more time with him unlike you,” Dillan conceded. “But he’s been here. He deserves to do what he did today, and y’all yelled at him for it.”
I felt my belly pitch.
“The last couple of hours were scary,” she said. “But Bourne was right. None of us tried to call him. Whatever cursory call you did wasn’t enough. We should’ve continued to try to call him. It’s the only thing that made sense. We c
ouldn’t find Asa, and we couldn’t find Bourne. It made sense that they were together.”
It did.
“I tried to call him. It went straight to voicemail,” Booth grunted.
“And I realize that you’re pissed that happened,” Dillan agreed. “But you know just as well as I do that he had no control of that. The movie theater and the doctor’s office have shitty reception. They always have. That’s no fault of Bourne’s. Jesus, y’all just yelled at him. Reamed him. Practically called him a shitty uncle, and then threw the fact that he wasn’t Asa’s father in his face. But, just sayin’, me and Bourne have done our parts in raising that kid. He may not be our flesh and blood son, but we love him like he’s our own. He is our nephew. And you can’t throw it in our faces that he’s not actually ours when it suits you.”
Dillan was pissed now, too. I could tell.
And the words I’d said to Bourne not too long ago came back and burned as I thought about what I’d said.
“Trust me,” Dillan said. “It’s more than obvious that he’s not ours. We know it. Everyone in town knows it. It fucking burns. Y’all will never know how it feels, either. You won’t know how it feels to have the person that you love having a child with someone else. But Bourne and me, specifically me? We know how it feels.”
With that, Dillan picked up her bag and left.
I sat down and pressed my hands against my face.
“I was fucking scared,” I sniffled.
Booth sighed. “I was, too.”
That wasn’t a good enough reason, either.
“I didn’t handle that well,” I admitted.
“No, we didn’t,” he agreed.
“You didn’t say anything bad,” I pointed out.
“No.” He paused. “But I sure didn’t speak up, either. And that speaks louder than words when it comes to my brother.”
I scrubbed at my eyes, the feeling of a migraine coming on fast.
“I asked him to put his dream on pause.”
I looked over at Booth in confusion.
“What?” I said.
“I asked him not to enlist,” he said. “After he hurt his foot. I asked him to stay here. To always be here for you if you needed it. And then I stayed where I was and lived my dream, while my brother did the stuff that I should’ve done.”
I thought about how, no matter what, Bourne was always there.
Every single time I’d needed him, he’d come.
Every single time there was a bump in the road or a problem I couldn’t solve alone, Bourne was not far behind me, willing to always offer me a helping hand.
For instance, when my father decided that he was going to meddle in my life again. He’d moved me out of my house. He’d moved me into his. He’d given me a place to stay.
And how had I repaid him?
I’d told him that he wasn’t Asa’s father. That he couldn’t make those decisions without me. I told him he couldn’t pick Asa up anymore. Which then caused him to get pissed and leave his own freakin’ house!
I’d fucked up.
I knew it as soon as the words were out of my mouth. But then Dillan and Booth had rubbed that fact in.
“Shoot,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I was terrified, Booth.”
“I was, too,” Booth repeated again as he patted my shoulder awkwardly.
“I need to call him,” I murmured softly.
Except, before I could, the police arrived.
An hour after that, I was still calling people and assuring that all was well.
What I didn’t do was call Bourne.
Not until well into the night after I’d calmed down enough to get my shit together.
Only, he didn’t answer.
Not once.
***
The next day, I was nervous as hell for dinner.
Family dinner at the Pena household was an affair.
Everyone would always meet at Georgia and Nico’s house.
Everyone showed.
Booth and Dillan. Asa and me. Priscilla, Bell, Heath and even Daniella, if she was available.
Who did not show was Bourne.
Not until well into dinner.
“Where’s Bourne?” Booth asked as he walked into his mother’s house with Dillan in tow.
Dillan who still wouldn’t look me in the eye.
She wasn’t holding onto Booth, either, so I could tell that there was something still wrong with them as well.
Hell.
“Not here yet,” Daniella murmured, her eyes going from me to Booth and back. “One would think y’all would know seeing as one of you lives with him, and the other of you lives next to him.”
Daniella had arrived here all smiles and giggles, happy that she’d gotten off bedrest. She’d been spewing sunshine and butterflies ever since.
She was annoying the hell out of me with her good mood.
I gritted my teeth.
“We pissed him off yesterday,” Booth murmured softly. “Said some things in the heat of the moment, and he left.”
Georgia sighed.
“What did you say?” Nico asked, arms crossing over his chest.
Neither Booth nor I said a word.
Dillan, however, didn’t have the same problem.
And neither, it turns out, did Asa.
Asa let it all hang out, telling them everything that he’d heard, and when Asa didn’t say it, Dillan filled in the blanks, explaining it all.
By the time she was done, I felt even sicker than I’d felt before.
Even worse, I wanted to call Bourne again and beg him to forgive me.
After a full night’s sleep, I’d realized rather quickly that I needed to make it up to Bourne.
I needed to say a lot of things, and I needed to apologize for being a complete and utter douchebag. I’d already called the school and fixed my blunder about Asa being able to be picked up by him.
But still, I needed to explain.
Except, I had to get him to answer my calls first.
“So let me get this straight,” Nico said as he listened to it all. “When you couldn’t find your son, you freaked out. When you found him okay and healthy and happy, you freaked out. At your brother, the one man that does fucking anything for you without flinching. Without a single hesitation. The man that’s literally been at your side every step of the way. The man that’s put his whole fucking life up for yours, time and time again?”
Booth didn’t say anything, but I could tell that he felt two feet tall. Because that was how I felt.
Nico’s eyes turned to me.
“I remember a time when you were broken down in the middle of fucking nowhere,” he said. “You called Bourne to help you. Change a tire, I believe? Did you remember that Bourne was running a one hundred-and four-degree fever at the time? But since nobody else could come help you, he’d driven to you? Helped you change the tire? And then he’d had to go to the hospital after passing out when he got home. Because I do.”
I felt sick.
I remembered that.
Well, actually, I hadn’t realized at the time that he was sick.
I also hadn’t even called to thank him the next day because I’d been too busy trying to figure out how to get my car fixed to realize that something was even wrong.
It wasn’t until a week later, after I’d finally pulled my head out, that I realized that he’d had to go to the stinkin’ hospital for pneumonia.
“This is ridiculous,” Booth grumbled. “It’s not a big deal. I was an ass. I know it. He knows it. I just need to apologize for it. But he’s not here, and he’s not answering my phone calls. It was my fuckin’ kid, okay? I overreacted.”
Georgia rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that your brother thinks it’s ‘not a big deal.’”
No, she was right.
It was a big deal.
I was sick to my stomach with how I’d reacted. How I’d tr
eated him.
“I know he’s done a lot for me,” I admitted softly. “And I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole,” Booth muttered.
Bell, of course, had to go and burst my bubble.
“Actually, you both kind of are,” she butted in. “And, just sayin’, but I hope he does end up joining the military like he talked to me about last night. It would serve you all right. He’s on the way, though. He texted me to say that he was running a bit late.”
There was a moment of silence before Nico turned to his first-born daughter and said, “What did you say?”
Before she could answer, though, we heard the telltale sound of Bourne’s truck pulling up outside.
Moments later, we heard the slam of his truck’s door, followed by the soft pound of his determined feet as they made their way up the length of the walkway and onto the porch.
The front door opened and slammed shut moments later, and then we heard his footfalls heading our way.
He came into the dining room and my face must’ve showed the desolation I was feeling because Dillan kept tossing me sympathetic looks. My son hadn’t stopped glaring at me since the night before when I’d yelled at Bourne.
He’d, of course, been just as naïve as Bourne as to why I was mad. But where Bourne had gotten it explained to him, thoroughly, we’d sent Asa out of the room.
He didn’t know that his grandfather was looking to spend time with him and would do so by any means possible.
My heart started to pound as everyone waited for Bourne to arrive.
When he did, my heart skipped a beat.
He’d shaved his head.
All of his beautiful black hair was gone.
Just… gone.
Not to say that his head wasn’t sexy as hell with no hair—and that seemed almost impossible for someone to do because a shaved head didn’t appear sexy to me—but it was a shock to see it all gone.
What would I hold on to when…
I viciously cut that thought process off, knowing that I seriously didn’t need to go down that path with my thoughts.
“So how did it go today?” Bell asked, bouncing on her toes a little.
Everyone at the table just stopped.
One second, we’d been eating, and the next, Bourne was giving Bell a very serious look.
What the hell was going on?
“What the hell is going on?” Nico barked, echoing my thoughts.
Join the Club (SWAT Generation 2.0 Book 7) Page 18