“I like the idea. It’s new, and it sounds fun,” Preeti chimed in.
“I’m sure, with the talent on this team, you guys can figure out a way to make it happen,” Emma said. “I’ll think of some of the Easter eggs we could plant if you figure out how to do it in the code.”
Kaushik sighed, shot her a look, then shot one at Rishi that said traitor and made a big production of getting up. The most painful team meeting in history.
Emma leaned back in her seat, almost ready to get up, but then she stared at the space above her. Her lips gathered together like she was ready to kiss something, her auburn eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. And then her smile widened, and she wrote something on her notepad. Envisioning the bonus content? Picturing how a student would use the app? Planning an attack on Kaushik?
Briefly, just briefly, he pictured her with that same daring, told-you-so grin as her hair fanned around her, a riot of red and purple against the white sheets of a bed.
He grabbed his laptop and ran to the door. Wherever that thought had come from, he needed it to recede into the dark corners of his mind and never return.
CHAPTER 18
Kaushik was such an asshole. Let us handle it. Who did he think he was? They were all programmers. Maybe Emma didn’t know app development like they did, but she knew what made up good design. She’d partnered with the UX team so many times she could practically do their job too. At least she had Preeti and Rishi, who could see her vision. They were her only two allies in this new world.
And Rishi . . . well, with Rishi it was complicated. The photos of the two women were lodged in her subconscious to the point of hallucination. She’d passed a woman in the mall the other day and was convinced she was Radhika. At the grocery store, the cashier had Lakshmi’s eyes and shampoo-model hair. Emma had to do the math to figure that the chance she’d casually run into either one of them in a city of twelve million people was less than .0001 percent.
How had Rishi not found someone yet? Those gray eyes, strong shoulders, and full lips. Surely there was a young, beautiful woman who just wanted a good-looking guy with a decent job.
Although that good-looking, smart guy came from a family with money issues. Something she’d never expected.
She couldn’t tell him that she felt guilty, but, thinking back to her conversation with Maria about the job, if she hadn’t made the argument for leading the app development, Rishi would probably have this position. Emma would have moved on to something else. While she couldn’t have kept the job in the US, and it wasn’t her fault exactly, a hollowness crept out from her torso into her limbs. Like a chill. But this chill wasn’t cold. It was more like an emptiness.
Guilt and sadness and what? She shook her head.
She had to wonder. Had Rishi looked at the two women’s profiles and deemed one of them the ideal match?
She shouldn’t have cared. But there was something about finding someone for him that made her feel like taking a wrecking ball to one of her office walls. If only she had the strength to knock it down.
She turned her attention back to her monitor. Back to the code.
Emma’s eyes were inches away from the screen when an instant message window popped up in the corner.
Tousled auburn hair, the frame of the glasses she had helped select last December, and a clear, sagacious look at the camera. Something fell inside her, barreling down with a low moan of sentimentality and irritation. When Emma had taken that picture, she had felt Jeremy was looking deep inside her.
He was making contact. Like an alien life-form she’d dreamed about from a galaxy far, far away, he had returned. A little burn in her chest, like some ghost embers of their relationship remained. She’d thought of him on and off, but she hadn’t reached out. He hadn’t made contact. And even though what had happened was only months in the past, it felt like it had happened in another world. Another era.
She clicked on his picture to accept the conversation. He probably just had some kind of logistical question.
Hi there, Jeremy typed. How is life in India?
Emma looked at the time. It was almost three in the afternoon, which meant it was after 2:00 a.m. in Seattle.
Hi, how are you? she asked. She’d wondered about him from time to time, thinking about how broken he’d looked the last time they’d talked. How broken he must have been to act like she was a ghost in the room with him.
It’s afternoon here in sunny India, why are you up so late?
I couldn’t sleep.
Did you need something? What else could she say? He was notorious for waking up in the middle of the night, doing something for an hour, and then going back to sleep.
A few moments later, Jeremy’s photo appeared again in the corner. She couldn’t help but click it.
I was thinking about you . . .
Emma sat back, the familiar twisting that had faded over the past few months taking hold again. Her fingers ran through her hair and tugged. Like she could pull him out of her mind. Like she needed to get him out from under her skin. The guilt. The hurt. Just when Jeremy had stopped slinking under it like an angry itch, he was there again, bringing all the confusion with him.
How could she not be confused when she’d given herself over to the relationship for a year, only to have it implode in one moment? One second.
She waited for the little dots to change into the rest of the message, forgetting about the code she had to review. Her body was almost pulsating in anticipation as she stared at the chat window.
We went for dinner at our favorite place down the street tonight, and I was lamenting the last time you and I went there.
Lamenting? So melodramatic. There must be an emptying bottle of Woodford Reserve beside him.
She ran through her head whom he could have gone to dinner with there. It was none of her business anyway. She closed the chat window again and went back to studying the code on her screen instead of Jeremy’s chat session in the corner.
The icon blinked again, and she glared at it, hesitating. She could wait five minutes until she was done with her work.
When she clicked it, he was already offline, so he must have typed it and then shut down his computer. We miss you here. I miss you.
He probably just missed their habits. She was almost ten thousand miles away. Jeremy had barely even said goodbye to her. Now that she had been gone for a few months, he missed her? He was probably just lonely or bored. Or sappy with bourbon.
Besides, what would happen when she went back? It would be the same as before. If Emma had learned anything by surviving her parents’ deaths and losing her grandmother, it was that work saved her. If she worked hard, she would have success, survival. And that’s what was important. She couldn’t sacrifice herself for a marriage she wasn’t ready for.
CHAPTER 19
Rishi’s phone rang, but he hesitated answering. His parents must have had an update after talking to both women’s families. Did it seem like either Radhika or Lakshmi were the right match? He’d orchestrated this whole thing, but now it was the last thing he could imagine doing. Because if he picked up that phone, he would have to fake excitement, fake interest, and then he’d dread planning the next steps.
What if he found someone who didn’t fit their criteria? How bad would it really be? What if Dharini’s ideal husband’s family thought that Rishi had chosen poorly?
Not good. Someone had to shine in the family. He was their only hope.
“Ma, hello?” He slunk over to the corner of the patio with his coffee.
“Your appa and I called to tell you we’ve spoken to Radhika’s parents, and they are good. Nice family, good connections. They’re involved in the textile business, which is always growing. They came over for coffee.”
“And?” Not that he needed to ask. He knew where this was going.
“We want you and Radhika to meet. She’s in Bangalore also.”
A gurgle of dread and nervousness bubbled up inside him. His heart pounded a
gainst his chest. Was it a sign that she was “the one”? “Oh. Sure. I mean, I can just contact her, if you give me her mobile number.”
“I will talk to her parents and send you her number. You can meet her after work one day this week.”
This week? So soon? “Okay.”
“I think she will work out well. Don’t judge her so fast, this one.”
“What happened with Lakshmi?” There had been two matches. Emma’s algorithm couldn’t have pulled up only two women, just to have one of them be a dud.
His father’s voice came in on the line. “She is already talking to some other suitor, so it doesn’t seem to be fortuitous.” So formal sometimes.
The voice on the other end spilled out of the phone, rhapsodizing about all the good things that happened over afternoon coffee. He cradled his forehead in one hand as his fingers worked at the temples and down to the bridge of his nose. A pinched pain slid across his face. “Okay, I need to go. I’ll meet her soon.”
Rishi hung up the phone and sat on the edge of the balcony’s rail. His future flashed before him like a portending slideshow. Coffee with lovely Radhika, who is sweet and good and smart. It’s a sunny day and the sun sparkles off her hair. Rishi thinks yes, it’s what’s good for the family. Then the engagement ceremony. She looks good in the sari his parents bought her. She’s curvy, pretty. Surely his mother will think she has a good body for having babies. Then the marriage, a whirlwind. They get to know each other on a honeymoon. Then family pressure is on. Baby? Then Another baby? They ask every time they see the couple. And they grow older, just raising children and never really knowing each other’s dreams and aspirations. And then they forget they have dreams and aspirations, and he’s in his sixties, retired. The kids are done with college and have jobs now. He and Radhika sit in silence because they can only talk about their children.
And all he can think about is a redheaded girl he knew thirty years ago.
A quiet filled him. The opposite of the storm that had been brewing inside his chest. The quiet was almost worse.
No. He shook his head. That was impossible. All his married friends were happy. They had amazing relationships. He was just being stubborn. Making excuses at this point. He hadn’t even met Radhika yet and was already foreseeing how she wouldn’t be a good match. He was using his bizarre relationship with Emma as another excuse to delay marriage. And he didn’t have time to delay it. His family was depending on him.
Numbness overtook his body, his mind. A buzz of white noise filled his ears, replacing the recollection of his mother’s words, the cars honking on the street. If Radhika wasn’t the one, how could he disappoint his parents again? They had done so much for him. But how could he marry someone he didn’t love, who didn’t ignite the spark he craved? A spark that could explode into flames with the right woman?
Radhika could be “the one.” After all, she checked all the boxes. He’d meet her soon, and then he could make a calculated decision instead of conjuring up the worst scenario possible. Maybe she was the perfect match, just as Emma’s marriage code had promised.
The traffic was twice as bad as it usually was during the evening. His finger found the horn on his bike and pressed it hard, like a finger in an enemy’s wound. Pressure filled his lungs, and his heart thumped against his chest. He felt so alone in this mass of cars and autos and bikes. The million people around him. All of them closing in. He just needed to escape. To get out. To calm down before he had to meet Radhika.
He needed to go home to Madurai and see his family. A little over two months he’d been back from Seattle, and still he hadn’t gone home. He’d mailed them Seattle-themed presents and promised he’d be there soon. The idea of taking a vacation day had felt wrong at this point, with the app deep in development and him just returning from the US. Or was it that he didn’t want to be apart from Emma?
He was a crazy man. Something about her was warping his sense of reality. Here he was, on his way to meet his potential future wife, and all he could do was imagine seeking solace in Emma’s arms, his cheek against her breasts, the scent of tangerines and roses wafting from her neck.
He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like this.
The traffic surged ahead, and he had never been more thankful for the brusque dance of vehicles as he wove in and out of the narrow spaces that appeared in the traffic.
By the time he’d found parking near the café, he was fifteen minutes late. He took a quick look at his phone to remind himself what Radhika looked like and sucked in a calming breath. She was beautiful.
Surveying the vast patio of umbrella-covered tables, he searched for her. A woman sitting alone, closest to the ferns that lined the patio, was smiling at him. Was that her? Dark, round eyes, auburn highlights in her hair, narrow shoulders.
Rishi walked toward her. “Radhika?”
“Yes, Rishi?” she asked, standing up.
“Yes. Hi. I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck in traffic.”
“No worries, same here. Do you want to get a coffee?”
He glanced at the cappuccino in front of her. Damn, he should have bought her one. He probably should have left thirty minutes earlier. “I’m okay. Can I get you anything?”
“No, I have one.” She gestured to the cup.
Rishi sat down. The line was long, and his nerves were already buzzing under his skin. The first conversation was always so awkward. All the thoughts in his head, the appropriate questions to ask, the gracious platitudes he was supposed to offer, they all seemed to fly away. He looked at her; she expected him to say something. He was reduced to a mute, a nervous adolescent who had never spoken to a girl before. His mouth opened, and he stuttered. What was wrong with him?
“So . . . uh . . . you . . . live in Bangalore?” he managed to get out.
“Yes. I grew up here, went to university here, and now I work at a small software company.”
“But your parents live in Madurai now?” Rishi asked. He remembered his parents inviting them over.
“They moved after I started working. Wanted to go back to where they were from.”
Rishi nodded. “My parents also live in Madurai, but I’ve been here for seven years. They hate coming to visit because of the traffic.” He didn’t add that his apartment was so small two people had to sleep on the floor when they did visit.
“The city has changed so much in the last twenty years. But I still love it. I don’t know if I want to live anywhere else.” She paused, and her face froze as if she’d said something wrong. “I mean, I could. I wouldn’t mind living somewhere else if needed.” Her eyes flitted to his and then looked away quickly. A faint blush crept into her cheeks.
Item #1: She would move. Possibly adventurous?
As adventurous as Emma? She’d moved to India for work.
Rishi took an inventory of what Radhika was wearing in hopes he could gauge something about her. Did she go to pubs? Did she like expensive clothes? Would she thrive on gold jewelry like his mother? She wore a teal-and-yellow salwar kameez, a single gold chain around her neck, gold bangles, her hair in a braid, and a few rings that an astrologer had clearly suggested. A yellow sapphire, which could be worn to increase prosperity. Or mean she was depressed or had some kind of health problem. She also wore a blue sapphire ring, which his uncle had worn to fight baldness. But that didn’t seem to be her problem. In reality, her parents had probably forced them on her fingers, like Rishi’s had over the years, at an astrologer’s suggestion.
His overall assessment of Radhika: traditional. But interesting.
“What do you do for fun?” Rishi asked.
“My friends and I go to the mall sometimes. We also go to coffee shops a lot. I like watching films.”
Everyone liked watching films and going to the mall and drinking coffee. Actually, Emma had never mentioned going to the mall. She’d started shopping, though. All those colorful salwars turning her into a bright-haired peacock who strutted through the office. Yammering about h
er movie watching, trying to speak in Hindi. A small laugh escaped him. Radhika gave him a curious look.
“Yeah, I do those things too.” He tried to cover up for it. Seriously, man, get it together. This was the time to figure out who this woman was. “What do you hope to do in the next ten years?” He tried to make it not sound like an interview, even though they were really interviewing each other for the role of spouse.
“I want to keep working; that’s important to me. I like my job. In ten years, I expect I would have a child, maybe two, but I’d like to travel first. I’ve never been to North India.” She looked into her coffee as she said this, her eyes flickering to his and back to her cup.
Would Radhika be okay with having a relationship with Sudhar and Sona? Even if Rishi’s parents disapproved? They could go there on their honeymoon. But he would really love to show Emma North India. They would have so much fun, eating sweet, sticky jaleebis and drinking spicy chai for breakfast out of clay mugs. The giant cups of buttermilk with mustard seeds and curry leaves cooling them down after touring ancient forts all day. She’d probably never been to a desert or ridden a camel.
But he had to focus on Radhika.
Item #2: She wanted to live a little before settling down and having children.
Item #3: Wanted to keep working, not just stay at home.
All the boxes were being checked.
“I’ve only been to Delhi once. I’d like to go to Rajasthan and see the old forts and palaces, though,” Rishi said. He paused. “Tell me about your job.”
The Marriage Code: A Novel Page 16