And it was Rishi’s something—his family, his home. Dharini was adorable and had pulled out baby photos of him at one point. It just felt so normal. So normal for them to sit around and laugh at pudgy baby Rishi and for his dad to tell stories about his childhood. Maybe her fears about not being accepted or not fitting in with his family had been completely unfounded.
It was fortunate that at work they were now in a testing phase for the app, and things had slowed down, because studying Tamil and figuring out how to cook at least one of these recipes his mom had given her were going to take some serious time.
Her phone rang. She looked down at the name. Maria? She’d pinged Emma a few times through instant messages and had forwarded her a few funny emails, but she hadn’t called her in the five months she’d been here.
“Awww, did you miss me?”
“Emma, of course! How’s my favorite globe-trotting programmer?” Maria’s voice was from another world and flooded her with memories: late coffees in the office as they tried to solve bugs, coffees that turned into wine and then turned into Emma making fun of her crazy statement necklaces. If only she’d called her on video so she could check out what she was wearing.
“I’m good. I miss you guys!”
“Yeah? I hear the project is amazing and that the app is getting rave reviews from our testers.”
“It is. I’m really excited about it, and the team has done an absolutely amazing job.”
“Well, I’m sure you pushed them to excellence, as always.”
Maria always knew how to make Emma happy. It was like her whole body melted into a smile at her praise. “It’s been a great experience, truly.” And she meant that in more ways than one, but she wasn’t going to release a full, no-holds-barred disclosure of her new relationship with Rishi quite yet.
“Good! International experience always looks great on a résumé, which brings me to why I’ve called. Since everything’s been shaken up at the company, I’ve accepted a new role, and I’m building a team. And I need a new director.”
Maria whispered director like it was a bomb about to go off. Director? And just like that, it went off in Emma’s head. Director equaled promotion. Leadership. Cool projects. All the things that came with being a leader at a company. All the things she and Maria had dreamed up when things got tough. Everything she’d ever wanted.
She was actually drooling. Like someone had set down a fresh, unshaven truffle in front of her instead of a job title. Her dream job with her favorite manager. She swallowed. “Oh, really?”
Maria laughed. “Yes, really. And I think you’d love it. It’s in the AI group, so you don’t have to go back to developing products for the sales team. It would be super fun, and you’d get to work on simultaneous translation for our cloud solutions.”
“Wow.” The ability to give people the gift of comprehension was almost as good as literacy. In fact, she could totally use simultaneous translation right now.
“I thought you’d be excited.”
“I am! So excited. Thrilled. Ecstatic. All the words!” But Rishi? Her project? Her team? Bangalore? Her life as she knew it? “But what about the app? Could the job start when I move back in a few months?” It was seven months, but who was counting?
“I’m pretty sure I could get Jas to let you go. Sounds like everything is running smoothly, and it sounds like . . . Rishi, I think? . . . he could take it from there.”
“Uh-huh . . .” How had this happened? Everything she’d ever wanted in work had just intersected with the peak of her happiness in a head-on collision. “And if I wanted to see it through?” she asked weakly, because she was pretty sure she knew the answer.
“Emma, you know how fast things move around here. We’re building the team in the next month, so I would definitely need you back here by then.” She paused. “Am I missing something? I thought this would be an automatic yes from you. It’s everything we’ve talked about.”
“I know. It is.” Although she didn’t sound like herself, and Maria knew it. She normally would have been thrilled, but things in Bangalore had taken a very unexpected turn. “I just love this project, you know? I don’t want the team to think I’m abandoning them. Let me think about it. When do you need to know?”
“Probably in the next two weeks? If you’re not interested, I’ll need to post the job and find someone else.”
Could she really give up an opportunity like this? “Okay, sounds good. I’ll let you know. I really appreciate it.”
They said their goodbyes. One month. Only one more month with Rishi. One more month in Bangalore. There were many things they hadn’t done. And she’d just started making headway with his parents. They didn’t hate her anymore. She tried to envision her life without him back in Seattle. A little hollow formed in her chest at just the thought. Was it a life she would want to live?
But on the other hand, she wondered what would happen in the seven months she was here. Whether his parents would ever accept her, or whether she and Rishi would be reliving the same series of events over and over.
CHAPTER 44
Emma opened her door, and Rishi presented her with the gift in his hand. “Okay, so it’s not potato-artisan-cheddar-whatever pizza you said you liked in Seattle, but a friend of mine said this was the best pizza in town.” He hoped it tasted as good as it smelled.
“Thanks. That was sweet of you. And I splurged on the one hundred percent taxed imported wine.” She held up a bottle, rolling her eyes. “You know, back in the US this costs half of what I paid for it here. I don’t miss many things, but finding wine that is not ridiculously priced is definitely one of them . . .” Her eyes took on a far-off look. She must have really missed the wine. What else did she miss?
An idea lit up in his brain. “Maybe we can take a trip to Singapore or something next month? Or Thailand? Go through duty-free, and you can get two bottles per person. That will help, right? Four bottles of wine. We’ll just savor what we get and take a short international trip once in a while.” He wanted her to love Bangalore as much as he did. Not that they had to live here forever, but . . .
“Like an international trip every month to keep up with my wine drinking?” She laughed. “That would be fun.” Her hand ran through his hair, and she smiled into his eyes. But something was different. Was there some sadness in there? Melancholy? What was going on?
Maybe this was the time when he should have been asking her the other thing on his mind. Was this crazy? They were still basically hiding their relationship at work. “There’s something else I wanted to ask you about.”
“What is it?”
“Well, we spend so much time together; I’m practically staying here every night . . . what do you think about moving in together?”
“Really? Are you ready for that?” Her eyes welled up, and tears shimmered on the surface.
Hopefully those were tears of joy and not terror. “Yes. If you are.”
“But what about your parents?”
“We don’t have to tell them.” Like he was going to tell his parents he was living in sin? That would not get Emma on their good list.
She leaned her head against his chest with a groan. “Oh, Rishi.” She sniffed and shook against him. Okay, definitely not tears of joy. And not the response he had been hoping for.
“Uh . . . I mean, we don’t have to. It just seemed more practical, and we could test out how things are—”
Her voice muffled in his shirt. “It’s not that. My old boss called me today. She’s got this amazing opportunity for me. I don’t even have to apply for it. She’s just handing it to me.”
Rishi could already sense where this was going. “Let me guess. She wants you to move back to the States.”
Her hair bobbed up and down on his chest as she nodded. He clutched her tightly, feeling like he’d just been hit by a car. At some point they’d have to make an India versus US decision, but when that time came, months from now, they’d figure out what their future would look lik
e. Although Rishi already thought he knew what their future looked like. It was him and Emma. Somewhere. That’s why he had been pushing her on his family. That’s why they were making all this effort. “So, what are you going to do?”
“I just don’t know. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. A promotion. I’d be a director.”
He closed his mouth because the words that wanted to come out were, You can’t leave. Don’t go. You can’t take it. Stay here. But her ambition and passion were what had attracted him to her; could he ask her to pass that up? “But do you have to go back? Could you take the new job and stay here?”
She shook her head. “I’d have to go back. In a month.”
“But what about us?”
She joined him on the sofa, where he’d slunk down to think this through. “Of course I’m thinking about us; that’s why I told her I needed time to think about it. I wanted to talk to you, but I’m still not any closer to my answer. It may sound ridiculous, but I don’t have any real support network, you know? Like, what if I lost my job? I’d be screwed. I’d have to sleep on a friend’s couch. Whereas you have a home and family to return to. I always promised myself, and vowed to my grandmother, that I would do whatever I could to get ahead. So I wouldn’t have to live like I used to.” She shook, like a little shiver had crawled over her.
“But you have me.”
“Okay, true, but I can’t stay here forever, and you can’t just come to the US whenever you want. I don’t know if I’ll get another opportunity like this after the app is done. What am I going to work on next? They’re phasing out of desktop development, and you know I am not an app developer. I don’t think you have to worry because you’re here, in high demand. But me? I don’t know . . .”
“You’re in high demand too. Hell, they basically imported you to lead this project.”
“That was all Maria. And now she’s moved on.” She threw up her hands and sighed. “At first I thought I could take it, and we could do long distance, but then the reality of that just seemed impossible. And how would you get a job in the US? You already tried to do that.”
“Yeah, not that easy to just move there.” Unless they were married. Rishi wasn’t even going to broach the topic. Emma wasn’t yet comfortable enough with his parents, and that was an important first step.
“Then I thought maybe it would be easier for you. If I just leave. Then you wouldn’t have all this family drama to worry about.” She rubbed at her eyes.
He turned to her with all the force he could muster. “Emma, don’t ever think that. Any drama that happens, it’s fine. It’s you who I care about. Besides, it was definitely time for me to have that talk with my parents.” He took her hands. “I don’t want to keep you from your dreams, but I would be destroyed if you left. I love you, and if there is any doubt in your head about how I feel, I want you to know that.”
She looked up at him, suddenly so fragile looking in the dim light, like one of those porcelain statues his mom had locked up in the curio cabinet. “I love you too.” She kissed him delicately, her eyes open, and something about that kiss was filled with wonder and sadness and joy, all at the same time.
He wanted to give her a life that she was happy with. He’d do whatever he could so that she wouldn’t leave. “I promise we can take a trip, and I’ll get you some wine. Fancy imported shit. Whatever you need to feel at home here.”
She laughed through her sniffles. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?
“Maybe next month?” That’s probably when he would have enough money for it. “My brother is coming to Bangalore in a few weeks, so after that.”
“Really? Your brother?” She squinted at him. “So is this just a casual ‘let’s get our brotherly love back on track’ kind of visit, or something else?”
“Well, you know we’ve been talking, but I want to get the family back together like you suggested. It’s something I’ve been chatting with him and Sona about. I’m going to invite my parents, too, and show them that we’re all just people who care about one another and that their wedding wasn’t a total disaster. I’m convinced that once my mom sees her grandchild, all anger will be forgotten.”
“So that’s your plan? All pinned on a niece you haven’t met?”
“Yeah, but she’s really cute. Everyone likes cute babies.”
“Uh-huh.” Emma eyed him suspiciously and laughed.
“She looks like me, you know?”
“Yeah, you already said she was cute.” Her elbow jutted into his side.
If only that would be enough to keep her from taking the promotion and leaving him. It wasn’t as if he could ask her to stay. It was a great offer, and it would be selfish to keep her from pursuing an amazing career opportunity like this one.
“Well, I’m hoping she’s cute enough that my mom will at least allow Sudhar’s name to be spoken in the house again. It might take time, but . . .” He swallowed up what he really wanted to say.
Hopefully it wouldn’t take longer than it would take for Emma to decide to stay here and give them all a chance.
They’d allowed Emma in the house after they’d found out how Rishi felt about her. They’d acknowledged her presence, even if his mom still pestered him about marriage. His parents just needed to see that even through adversity, Sudhar, Sona, and Sejal were happy. Was he trying to convince Emma or himself?
CHAPTER 45
This plan seemed crazy to her, but Rishi was a little crazy himself, and his family was like a book whose pages she’d only thumbed through. There was a lot more to learn. No matter how many newspapers she scanned, no matter how many times Rishi had regaled her with stories about their customs, his family life still felt like the kind of experience you had to live through to understand. And she’d only been living a sliver of it.
In the auto on the way to Rishi’s, the driver’s eyes flashed in the rearview mirror a few times as they drove through the packed, winding streets, Emma’s dupatta stretched over her mouth as if it could keep the particles of dust and exhaust from entering her lungs. She was used to the stares now, the curious eyes. Jordana had sent her a small tub of Manic Panic, and her purple strand was freshly violet. She’d even dyed another strand on the left side of her head, which she never did. Maybe she should have waited until after meeting Rishi’s parents again. Oh well, too late now!
“Left, maadi,” she said at the intersection, using what little of the local language she knew. Auto Kannada, as Preeti had called it. The driver’s eyes filled the mirror again, but this time it was a mix of surprise and amusement she saw in them.
“Local, ah?” he asked.
“I live here.”
He made a little grunting noise. Well, maybe if she could fool him, she could play the part for Rishi’s parents too.
Because, depending on how today played out, she might get the answers she needed. She needed to respond to Maria’s request soon. She’d already sent her one reminder email, asking if she’d made up her mind. Something inside her questioned why she hadn’t answered her yet. And why she hadn’t told Rishi they could move in together.
She jumped out of the auto and took a breath before knocking on his door. There were voices inside. The brother and sister-in-law were there. A baby’s cries filtered through the open window. Rishi’s parents would be there soon as well. She knocked, and Rishi flung open the door with a big smile on his face, holding a baby.
“Emma! Meet Sejal.” Rishi grinned at her like he’d never been so happy. The baby was tiny, pudgy in all the right places, a dark mark smeared on her cheek—something Rishi had said they did to block out the evil eye. And she could see why: this baby was pretty perfect. Her eyes were lit up, silver as a sizzling cloudy day, just like Rishi’s.
“She has your eyes. And she’s adorable.” Something about seeing this baby, like a tiny Rishi, made her wonder again what their baby would look like. If they ever got that far. She sighed and smiled. Behind Rishi were two figures taking up his entire tiny kitchen. “How
is everything going?” she whispered.
“Good, good. Come in.” Rishi stood back, and Emma entered his apartment, which she’d only done a handful of times. Her place was closer to the office and closer to town. And twice the size of his.
She shook off her shoes at the door and walked toward the kitchen area. “Hi.” She waved tentatively at Rishi’s guests. She’d never met them, although she felt a sort of silent kinship with them. Outsiders from the Iyengar clan. Lovesick fools. Tradition breakers. Or perhaps self-saboteurs; she wasn’t sure which. “I’m Emma.”
“Emma, hi!” Rishi’s brother came toward her. “It’s so nice to meet you. This is my wife, Sona.”
Sona took a tentative step forward, and Emma almost took a step back. The woman was stunning. Her hair shimmered, her eyes were big and brown and shone with warmth, but she seemed shy. Well, here they were, a pair of evil temptresses.
“Hi, Emma.”
“So nice to meet you both!” Emma said. “I hope you had a good trip.”
“Oh yes. It was long with the baby, but she slept most of the way.”
As if on cue, Sejal made a cute cooing noise. Maybe Rishi was right. There was no way his parents could stay mad with a face like that thrust in front of them.
They had coffee and chatted about their jobs and travel, although there was this odd undercurrent of tension. All Emma wanted to do was ask them if they were worried, or what their plan was when Rishi’s parents came, but other than the sense of heightened nerves in the room, no one said anything about it.
Emma took their coffee cups in the kitchen and called for Rishi.
“What’s up?” he asked and then gave her a kiss.
“Hey, so does your brother know your parents are coming?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Okay . . . it’s just that everyone is so calm.”
Rishi turned and examined them. “I mean, what are they going to do? Should we all sit here and talk about how worried we all are? Why not enjoy the moment?”
Emma opened her mouth to protest. She was so used to everything being talked about. She’d therapized the loss of her family for years with countless shrinks, and with Jordana she’d hashed out everything until they couldn’t even remember what had started the conversation in the first place. Maybe that was the whole reason Rishi had been keeping things quiet. Just one of those fundamental differences between their worlds. Why bother getting all worked up for no reason, instead of just seeing what happened? Maybe that was better than Emma feeling like she needed to know every little detail, dissect it, and then stress over it.
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